Chapter 26 Chapter 3: Tell Your Own Mistakes First

A few years ago, my niece Josephine left her Kansas City home to come to New York to be my secretary.Josephine was nineteen, had graduated from a high school three years before, and had little experience in office; she was now an able secretary. At the beginning, I think she really needs to improve.One day, when I wanted to criticize her, I said to myself first: "Wait a minute, Dale Carnegie...you are twice as old as Josephine, and you have more experience than Josephine." She is ten thousand times. How can you expect her to have your opinion? Your judgment? Your opinion? Dale, what did you do when you were nineteen? Remember your clumsy, stupid mistakes ?”

After thinking about it honestly and fairly, I realize that Josephine is a lot better than I was.So from now on, when I remind Josephine of her mistakes, I always say this: "Josephine, you made a little mistake, but God knows you're no worse than I did. You're not born to judge a thing, that needs to be learned from experience. Besides, you are much stronger and better than me when I was your age.I've made a lot of ridiculous mistakes myself, and I never want to criticize you, or anyone else...but wouldn't you be smarter if you did it? " If critics first humbly admit that they are not perfect and blameless, and then point out people's mistakes, it will be easier for people to accept.

In 1909, the tactful Prince Blow felt deeply the importance of using this method... because Kaiser Wilhelm II was in power at that time; Build the army and navy, and want to be the enemy of the whole world. Then, an amazing thing happened! The Kaiser said something unbelievable, which shocked the whole of Europe and even affected the whole world.The worst thing is that the Kaiser made these ridiculous, arrogant, and absurd remarks in front of the crowd when he was a guest in England.He also allowed the "Daily Telegraph" to publish it in the newspaper as originally intended. He said, for example, that he was the only German who felt friendly with Britain; he was building a navy to deal with the Japanese hazard.Kaiser Wilhelm II also stated that only his own strength can keep Britain from being humiliated by the threats of France and Russia.He also said that Sir Robert's victory over the Dutch in South Africa was all due to his plan.

In the past hundred years of peace, no king in Europe would say such amazing words... At that time, the uproar and commotion of European countries swarmed like bees.Britain was very angry...and those politicians in Germany were even more shocked. During this period of panic, the Kaiser gradually felt the seriousness of the situation and became a little panicked.He hinted to Prince Blow that he should bear it on his behalf.Yes, the Kaiser asked Prince Blow to claim that all of that was his responsibility, and it was he who suggested the Kaiser to make those unbelievable words. However, Prince Blow made this statement, saying: "But your majesty, I am afraid that neither the Germans nor the English believe that I would advise your majesty to say those words."

After Prince Blow said this, he immediately realized that he had made a serious mistake.Sure enough, it aroused the Kaiser's anger. He snarled, "You think I'm an ass for a mistake you wouldn't make, and I made it." Prince Blow knew that he should give some kind of praise first, and then point out his mistakes, but it was too late...he had to make a second effort to praise after the criticism.As a result, a miracle appeared immediately--in fact, praise is often like this Prince Blow said respectfully: "Your Majesty, I definitely did not mean that. Your Majesty is far superior to me in many aspects, of course not only in naval knowledge, especially in natural science. Every time His Majesty talks about I always feel ashamed of myself and feel that I know so little when it comes to the science of weather gauges, wireless telegraphy, etc...

I am ashamed that I don't know any natural sciences, especially chemistry and physics, and I can't even explain very common natural phenomena.But what can be compensated slightly is that I know a little bit about historical knowledge, and I also have a little bit of political talent, especially diplomatic talent. " A smile appeared on the Kaiser's face, it was Prince Blow who praised him.Blow lifted him up and lowered himself.After Blow explained this, the Kaiser forgave him and forgave him.The Kaiser said enthusiastically: "I haven't told you this often. You and I are famous for being able to complement each other... We need sincere cooperation, and we are willing to do so."

He shook hands with Blow not only once, but many, many times... That afternoon, he held Blow's hand tightly and said, "If someone tells me that Blow is not good, I will hit him on the nose with my fist." superior." Prince Blow saved himself just in time!Although he was a flexible diplomat, he did one thing wrong.He should start by talking about his own shortcomings, and focus on the Kaiser's strengths... You can't imply that the Kaiser is a person with insufficient intelligence and a person who needs protection from others. If you use a few words to humble yourself and praise the other party, you can turn the arrogant Kaiser into a very sincere friend.Just think -- what effects can humility and praise have on us in our daily contact?If we use it properly, incredible miracles can really happen in the relationship between people.

So to change a man's will without arousing his resentment, the third rule is: Before you criticize the other person, talk about your own mistakes.