Chapter 11 Chapter Ten Tathagata

——I am healthy because I sleep when I am tired, drink when I am thirsty, and eat when I am hungry In the forest there was a beautiful pheasant with very beautiful and brightly colored feathers.They come and go freely in the forest every day, relying on their own strength to find their favorite food.Sometimes it may have a hard day, but it may not find the food it likes; sometimes it may be hungry, but it always does its best to maintain life.It lives happily, freely and with dignity. One day, when the pheasant was swimming comfortably in the forest, he saw a farmer approaching.The farmer was holding a basket in his hand, and there seemed to be something in it.

The pheasant asked the farmer: "May I ask what is in your basket?" The farmer said, "It's full of earthworms." Ah, this is exactly the food it likes.So the pheasant got up his courage and said to the farmer, "Farmer, farmer, can you give me an earthworm?" "Okay, but what do you want to exchange with me?" "What would you like me to give you in exchange?" said the Pheasant. "I like the feathers on your body very much. How about you exchange one of your feathers for an earthworm with me?" The pheasant thought to himself: I have so many feathers, what's the point of giving him one, besides, I don't need to forage hard, but I can have a delicious meal, which is very worthwhile.So the pheasant pecked off a feather from its body.At that moment, there was a sharp pain at the place where the feather fell, but it gradually disappeared.The pheasant traded that feather for a fat and big earthworm, and had a feast.It thought it was a good deal, and it only exchanged a feather for a delicious meal.

The next day, the pheasant was waiting at the same place again, and when he saw the farmer approaching, he said to the farmer again: "Farmer, farmer, can I exchange another earthworm with you?" "Of course!" So the pheasant pecked off another feather vigorously, and still felt a sharp pain in his body, but it was not as painful as yesterday.The pheasant felt that he had managed to get a meal without having to work hard.On the third and fourth day, the same thing continued. Day by day, when the pheasant was plucking its feathers, it gradually stopped feeling the pain.It feels that this kind of life is really good, and it can live a comfortable and comfortable life every day without having to forage for food.

Time passed day by day, and one day the farmer passed by the same place again, and the pheasant still said to him as before: "Farmer, farmer, may I have another earthworm?" The farmer shook his head.The pheasant asked in surprise, "Why?" The farmer looked at its body silently, and said slowly: "You have no more feathers to give me." The pheasant looked down, and all the feathers on its body had been pulled out unconsciously. After the farmer left, the beautiful pheasant flapped its bare wings—in fact, they were not wings anymore—and it was powerless and unable to fly.Losing its beautiful and cold-proof feathers, the beautiful pheasant finally froze to death in the forest.

Once, my two daughters and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant in Christchurch, New Zealand. I saw a mother breastfeeding a baby about two or three months old, drinking, drinking. The nipple protruded out of the mouth, and some milk overflowed from the corner of the mouth. The mother gently wiped the corner of the baby's mouth with a handkerchief, and then put the feeding bottle into the baby's mouth.The baby pushed out the pacifier again, and the mother was a little anxious, and forced the bottle into the baby's mouth again. The baby shook his head, avoided the pacifier, and cried loudly.

I couldn't hear what the mother was saying to the baby, but from the tone of her voice, I could feel that the mother's anxiety and irritability were rising rapidly.Again and again the mother tried to put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, and the baby shook his head again and again.After many struggles, the baby finally gave up. He sucked on the pacifier obediently, and a satisfied smile appeared on the mother’s face, as if she had accomplished something she wanted to accomplish. Perhaps the mother felt that this is what a child who loves her should have. persist in.Yes, this mother really loves her child, but is it up to the mother to decide whether to be hungry or full, or should the child declare it himself?I saw the baby struggling to express his condition, yet in pain like the pheasant's pang of pain when it first begins to pluck its feathers.I don't know how many times this baby has been plucked, but I know we've all been forced out of our existence like this when we were growing up.

In order to survive, we leave our own needs and feelings, our center is gradually alienated from ourselves, and we gradually lose the ability to contact, perceive and awaken ourselves, and at the same time lose ourselves. Although we want to live a free life, However, we are unable to survive independently in this world, so our boundaries are violated again and again, and finally we lose them. With the method of decreasing sensitivity, our pain will be reduced again and again, and finally we will become unconscious. Just like that pheasant, he didn't know that he was going to pluck the last feather from his body, but thought he was very smart and could exchange for some "good things".At this time, our second nature, which is called personality, gradually takes shape.

(partially omitted...) A really good teacher will not teach you what to do, he will only lead you into deeper thinking and awareness, he will only help you face the truth of life more bravely and find your own path.In the field of life potential, no one is your teacher, the real teacher is yourself, the wisest and best person is yourself.We can only help you learn from yourself, we can't teach you anything, we can only accompany you quietly, when you are in pain, we will try our best to provide the support we can, and do our best to share with you what we have been The shocks I've been through and how I felt at the time, tell you how we got through it, and let you know that you're not alone on this journey.After going through these shocks, you gradually begin to develop a mature wisdom and a childlike innocence and ability to feel one with yourself.At this time, you can abandon yourself in an instant, fully integrate into the outside world, and integrate with the surrounding environment. At this time, you have reached the state of "the environment exists and I destroy".And when you need to exist in your own center, even if the people around you and the environment change drastically, you can still stick to your beliefs, free from any influence and interference from the outside world, and you have achieved "I exist and disappear".

Mature wisdom is the ability to face different environments, different objects and obtain healthy adjustments in the "self". A Zen master said: "The reason why I am healthy is because I sleep when I am tired, I drink when I am thirsty, and I eat when I am hungry." The essence of life is actually so simple, but most people have lost such simplicity in their lives. Wisdom has lost the ability to adjust to nature and the environment.If we can abandon ourselves at any time according to the different environments and objects, integrate with the outside world and others, and have a firm will at any time, not changing with the trend and the environment, we should be able to come and go freely between these two fields. At that time, it is "Tathagata".When you reach the state of "Tathagata", you can exist in both sides of one body at the same time.When you have a firm self and firm belief, your heart is soft and open. As long as you see the truth and truth, you can adapt to changes softly at any time.When you are able to bravely and fully experience every occurrence and every sorrow of life, a new joy and peace will arise and blossom deep inside.

We all come into the world with the essence of Tathagata.Although in the process of growing up, the natural essence is destined to disappear, but when we lose the pure essence and find it again, it will remain in life forever. The morning after the dark night will be particularly bright, thank you for all the hurts and troubles in your life; I hope you will wake up bravely and bravely embark on the path of self-growth, the path of Tathagata.We will be waiting for you on the road, because we will go forward together. Attachment: Speeches by Mr. Xu Yiming Talk about spiritual growth, self-growth and potential development

Location: Guangzhou City Time: April 2004 Organizer: Zhao Meng and Xu Jianhong I think there are probably three most important things in life, one of which is ourselves, that is, self. Today is the theme of self, and then expand from self to the whole life, which are the two most important things for us Chinese. Themes: One is the relationship between husband and wife, and the other is parent-child relationship. Husband-wife relationship is far more important than parent-child relationship In Confucianism, the five human relationships mentioned by Confucius are: monarch and subject, father and son, husband and wife, brothers, and friends.These five human relations are the five most important relationships in ethics. Among these five items, couples are the outline of human relations.Because in these five relationships, there are husband and wife first; then a man and a woman give birth to a child through the union of the sexes, and then the second relationship arises. The second ethics is father and son; then a couple gives birth to several children, Only then did the third relationship arise, which is called brothers; then when there are many couples, different families, and children born to each other, the fourth relationship between children gradually forms, that is, friends; finally, because of the large number of people, When the population gathers, a region is formed, and there may be conflicts between regions. Through the merger of conflicting regions, tribes are gradually formed, and finally a country is formed. Only in this way can the relationship between monarch and minister arise.So husband and wife are the biggest link in human relations. Mencius inherited Confucius. He said: "The people are the most important, the country is second, and the monarch is the least." That is to say, people are the most important, and the relationship between the monarch and his ministers is actually the last.Of course, you are the absolute most important individual, because without you, the world does not exist for you, and everything else does not exist, so our most important topic today is here. I have given lectures in various places in China in recent years, and I feel that most people compare the relationship between husband and wife with parent-child relationship, and pay more attention to parent-child relationship.Especially after the implementation of the one-child policy, each family has only one precious child, and the future hope of the husband and wife is placed on the child. Therefore, it is very troublesome and consumes a lot of energy and time.But in fact, I personally think that the relationship between husband and wife is more important than the relationship between parent and child. Humanism, what we pay attention to is the development of potential So far, I have been on the road of exploring human nature for more than 20 years. My university major is Chinese literature, and my current field of work is psychotherapy.I am currently doing some training on psychotherapy. There are more than 20 professional neurologists and psychiatrists from major hospitals in Beijing. They come from Union Hospital, PLA General Hospital, China-Japan Friendship Hospital, Tongren Hospital, Xuanwu Hospital, etc. Etc., a therapy that does not use drugs to treat mental illness, which is my specialty. Next, we must have an understanding of people and human nature, especially the current mainstream of psychotherapy—humanism, which focuses on potential development.Of course, there are many so-called growth courses for potential development in China. Today I will also clarify the relationship between potential and self. (partially omitted...) No one in the world can replace your experience If someone loves you very much, the other person can understand you, but the only way is to understand you with the experience he has experienced in his own life. For example, there is a wife who had a painful experience when she was a child, that is, the death of her most beloved pet.She once raised a puppy and loved it very much. The puppy accompanied her every day. She was very lonely, her parents were often away, and her brothers and sisters were not there. Her only best friend was the puppy.The puppy suddenly died one day, which made her fall into a deeper state of loneliness, and she was very sad.After getting married, a puppy she raised died again, and she felt very sad again, but her husband had no experience of pet death when he was a child. He loved his wife very much, and when he saw his wife was so sad, he advised her not to cry. , he said to his wife: "There is no need to be sad when a puppy dies. Let's buy another one, which is better. Otherwise, we will buy five or ten." But he can understand his wife's pain. ?Can share?He will never understand because he doesn't have the same experience in his life. So our emotions, our feelings, our world can only be perceived by ourselves.Other people, people on the periphery, can come to understand you, or try to understand you, using their past experiences in life to understand you.If he has not had this experience in his life, he will have no way to understand you. In short, sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are miserable, sometimes you are afraid, sometimes you are angry, sometimes you resent, no one in this world can replace your experience. four domains of self The first domain of the self is the body; the second domain of the self is the emotions; the third domain of the self is our thinking, the mind.The field of thinking includes memory, analysis, classification, logic, reasoning, calculation, concepts, ideas, values, and beliefs; the fourth field of self is spirit and mind, which can also be called consciousness or that awareness, awareness (awareness) ).This is the central point of our being, the energy that makes everything function. The four basic human emotions: joy, anger, sorrow, and fear From the basic emotion of joy, many related feelings and feelings such as freedom, happiness, comfort, satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, warmth, and warmth can also be derived.Although there are thousands of colors that our eyes can see, there are only three basic primary colors: red, green, and blue.The same is true for human emotions. No matter how many there are, there are only four basic emotions, "joy, anger, sorrow, and fear." Sad emotions can spread to powerlessness, helplessness, depression, sadness, grievance, and pain; The spread becomes tension, anxiety, uneasiness, fear, panic. Parent-child education is to let children complete socialization in a healthy way The first time a baby feels "I" is when he sees himself from the eyes of others, because "I" comes from others first, so that "I" is passed from others.For example, the nominative case in English is "I", like "I love you".The accusative case is "me", as in "you love me".What we mean by self is "me", which is formed by acceptance. The purpose of our parent-child education is to let all children grow up and enter the society to become people who add points to society, not people who lose points.The so-called educational failure means that after a child has gone through the growth process, when he enters society, he will bring a burden to society and become a parasite that consumes social resources. (partially omitted...) Five Disciplines of Awareness (partially omitted...) For the development of potential, clear the source It’s very popular recently, and everyone here may know it. From 1991 to 1992, there was a kind of pyramid scheme that has been banned by the government. Later, when they came to the insurance industry, they also had a lot of so-called potential development courses. .So what is potential?This is the second question I want to ask. Do you have any understanding of potential?Is this understanding comprehensive or biased, and where does the concept of potential come from? I believe that since 1991, many lecturers who did not manage well in Taiwan came to China and exerted a great influence in the MLM industry, which also led to such a so-called potential development training market, and then slowly The second industry in China is the insurance industry.So from MLM to insurance, after MLM was banned, a lot of MLM lecturers have entered the insurance industry, even entered the mass market, and established training companies. The concept of potential has been around for twelve or three years in China. up. In recent years, I have discovered such a situation that many people's understanding of potential is relatively biased and not very comprehensive. From pyramid schemes to insurance to entrepreneurs, their potential development is the fruit of wisdom on the tree of good and evil, which is a kind of potential under the definition of original sin. It is to train you to be "right" as much as possible. Are those potential development classes supposed to be active, brave, full of love, kind, and kind to people, that is, only let you show all the good aspects of human nature, and eliminate the bad aspects of human nature, what a pity What's more, that part cannot be eliminated.The result of such training, if viewed from the perspective of psychiatry, will only gradually lead to schizophrenia.The more you suppress and ignore the negative part, when you can’t control it yourself, you can find a class to help you kill it. If the teacher’s ability is not enough, you can find a better master to help you. You kill it.You thought you were in control of it, and suddenly one day you lost control, and you thought you were the master, but in the end you became its slave. So many people began to dance this very familiar four-step dance of life.The first step is to think that it is not good; the second step is to control and manage it as much as possible; the third step is to lose control and hurt others or hurt yourself; the fourth step is to regret and blame yourself, and then repeat. Some people understand potential in this way, but in humanistic psychology, from the perspective of human nature, the so-called potential is a seed that has all the possibilities throughout its life.You have to explore, get in touch with, and have all the possibilities of human nature, and finally you can talk about whether you have wisdom and whether you can use wisdom. And if we want to have wisdom, what we have to do is how to improve ourselves, how to use anger to protect your own dignity and protect your loved ones; how to use fear to let yourself avoid harm early; how to use sadness to end some events, or allow the deep experience and energy of grief to be transformed into compassion. All human possibilities are not good or bad, right or wrong, the simplest definition of potential development is: a seed, with this seed will become, live, bad, empty, all the possibilities in your life, you explore, To get acquainted, to accept, to absorb, and then learn how to nourish the people you meet by chance, this path is called potential development.