Chapter 24 Fame and Friendship (3)

All kinds of professional responsibilities are also related to "giri to duty".For example, there are many principals who commit suicide when their schools are caught on fire.They were not responsible for the fire, which frightened the emperor's portrait hanging in the school.There were also some teachers who rushed into the fire and were burned to death in order to save the imperial statue of the emperor.There are still rumors that some people accidentally read the edict of education or military edict when solemnly reading it, and committed suicide to clear their stigma.Under the reign of the current emperor, some people mistakenly named their children "Hirohito" (the imperial name of the emperor, which must be taboo in Japan and must not be said), and committed suicide and killed the children together.

Japanese professionals have very strict requirements on their professional "giri", but they do not necessarily rely on the high professional level understood by Americans to maintain it.The teacher said: "The status of a teacher does not allow me to say that I don't know." It means that even if he doesn't know, he must pretend to know. It is this kind of self-defense that "giri shi" refers specifically to.The same is true of industrialists. "The giri of a businessman" dictates that he cannot admit that his assets have dried up, or that his plans for the company have failed.Diplomats cannot admit mistakes in their foreign policy in terms of giri.The above meanings of "giri" equate a person with his work to a high degree, and any criticism of someone's behavior or ability will naturally become a criticism of him.

The Japanese often come up with ingenious ways to avoid direct competition.There is less opportunity for competition in Japanese elementary schools than Americans can imagine.Teachers in Japan are ordered to improve every child's grades and not to provide opportunities for students to compare with each other.In Japanese elementary schools, there is no system of repeating a grade for one year. Children who enter school at the same time study all courses together and graduate together.What is recorded on the report card of elementary school students is the character of conduct, not academic performance.Once competition is unavoidable, such as the middle school entrance examination, the tension is unprecedented.Every teacher knows the stories of kids who attempted suicide because they didn't pass the exam.

This practice of minimizing direct competition runs through the entire life of the Japanese.Moreover, the ethics based on "en" does not leave much room for such things as competition.Their hierarchy has onerous rules that keep direct competition to a minimum.The family system also limits competition, they may exclude each other, but they do not compete.When the Japanese see American families whose sons compete with their fathers in driving skills, they comment in a tone of astonishment. There are middlemen everywhere in Japan, preventing two competitors from going head-to-head.Whenever a person is shamed by failure, an intermediary is needed.Thus, middlemen play a role in proposing marriage, finding a job, quitting a job, and countless other day-to-day matters.The intermediary communicates the views of the other party for the two parties involved.Or in an important relationship such as a marriage, each party hires an intermediary, who first negotiates in detail and then reports to each party separately.Make indirect contact in this way.Those involved will not be able to hear the direct demands and censures, which will hurt their reputation and friendship.The intermediary also gains prestige for playing such an important role, and commands the respect of society for its success.In the same way, the intermediary helps job seekers to find out the employer's intention, or conveys the employee's resignation intention to the employer.

To avoid humiliation, the Japanese instituted various etiquettes to moderate and keep matters to a minimum.The Japanese believe that the host must put on new clothes to welcome the guests.Therefore, when visiting a farm, one must wait a while if the farmer is still in work clothes.The farmer will show no sign of welcome until proper clothes have been put on and proper etiquette has been arranged.The host will even stand nonchalantly around the guest changing clothes until he is fully dressed, as if he was not there.In rural areas, there is a custom of young men visiting girls in the dead of night when the girls have already gone to bed.Girls can accept or reject the courtship of young men.But young men cover their faces with handkerchiefs so that they don't have to feel ashamed the next day after being rejected.This kind of makeup is not so that the girls don't recognize who it is, but so that he doesn't have to admit that he has been rejected in the future.

Americans should not underestimate the sensitivity of the Japanese to slander because of their politeness.Americans casually comment on others, as a child's play.It is difficult for us to understand that the Japanese regard minor criticism as a major matter.The English-language autobiography of the Japanese painter Yoshio Makino, published in the United States, vividly describes a typical Japanese reaction to what he called "mocking". I visited one of my most trusted missionaries, and expressed to him my desire to go to America, hoping that he might give me some useful knowledge.But very disappointed, the missionary exclaimed, "What? You want to go to America?" The missionary's wife was also in the room, and they both laughed at me!In an instant, I seemed to feel that all the blood in my brain had flowed to my feet.I stood there silently for two or three seconds, and went back to my room without even saying "goodbye".I said to myself, "It's all over!"

I left early the next morning.Now I will say why.I have always believed that the greatest crime in the world is to be insincere to people, and to laugh at people is the most insincere. I often forgive people who lose their temper because it is human nature to be bad sometimes, and I generally forgive people who lie because human beings are fragile and not strong enough to tell the truth in difficult situations.I can also forgive people who spread gossip, because when people encounter gossip, they will inevitably fall into it. Even for murderers, I can be considerate at my discretion.But there is no excuse for ridicule, for the innocent are laughed at only when the heart is insincere.Allow me to give my own definitions of two words.

Murderer: A person who kills another person's body; Mocker: One who kills the hearts of others. The mind is far more valuable than the body, and therefore ridicule is the worst crime.That couple of missionaries really wanted to destroy my soul. I felt great pain in my heart, and my heart was crying, "Why are you..." The next morning, he packed everything into a bundle and left the missionary's house.