Chapter 109 don't tell people you're smarter

The 19th-century British statesman Sir Charles de Payer once taught his son: "Be smarter than others, but don't tell them that you are smarter than him." The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates warned his disciples repeatedly in Athens: "You only know one thing, and you know nothing." What people often call "keeping one's clumsiness" is a life strategy of covering oneself, protecting oneself, accumulating strength, and waiting for opportunities. It is often used in hostile struggles.For example, Deng Xiaoping gave such instructions during the Anti-Japanese War: "To make the enemy look down on us, we must be good at using all means to paralyze the enemy." In today's era of fierce competition, this strategy is still practical.

Don't tell people that you are smarter than him. This strategy can also be used to maintain and improve the relationship with others, especially when you have found other people's mistakes and have to point them out. It is especially important to use this strategy.Because no matter how you directly point out the mistakes of others: a contemptuous look, a dissatisfied tone, a gesture of impatience, there may be embarrassing consequences.Because it's tantamount to saying, "I'll change your mind. I'm smarter than you." It's tantamount to denying his intelligence and judgment, hurting his ego, and hurting his feelings.Instead of changing his opinion, he will fight back, and at this time, it will not help even if he brings out all the authoritative theories and all the hard facts.Why make it difficult for yourself?

So don't tell someone you're smarter than him when you point out that he's wrong.For example, you can remind someone in a nonchalant way or maybe you yourself are wrong, reminding him of what he doesn't know as if reminding him of what he forgot, or reminding him of being wrong as if he didn't make it clear.This will have a magical effect. No matter what the occasion, no one will object to you and say that he is wrong. Never say something like that.watch it!You will know who is right and who is wrong.It's like saying: I'll change your mind, I'm smarter than you.It's actually a challenge that he's ready to take on before you even start proving him wrong.Why make it difficult for yourself?

There was a young New York lawyer.He had recently argued an important case; a large sum of money and an important legal issue were involved in the case.During the debate, a Supreme Court judge said to the young lawyer: The time limit for prosecution in maritime law is 6 years, right?The lawyer froze for a moment, looked at the judge, and said bluntly: No.President, there is no statute of limitations in maritime law.At that time, the court immediately fell silent.It seemed that even the temperature had dropped to freezing point.Although the young lawyer was right, the judge was wrong; the young lawyer also truthfully pointed it out.But the judge was not happy about it. Instead, his face was ashen, which made people daunting.Although the law was on his side, the young lawyer made the great mistake of publicly pointing out the mistakes of a man of great stature and learning.

The lawyer did make a mistake.Why not be smarter at pointing out that others are wrong?Why make others think you are smarter? Scientists say that one of the biggest differences between man and other animals is that man is a rational animal; however, he does not say that man is only rational.In fact, emotional things play a much greater role in our daily behavior than rationality. "A good medicine is good for the disease, and a good word is good for the deed."Many of the warnings handed down from the ancient Chinese are to keep people rational and sober, and listen to as many harsh words as possible. However, even so, people are still willing to hear positive comments from others.Even well-intentioned accusations and criticisms often arouse people's resentment and resistance.This kind of human reaction is already an instinct with a deep psychological foundation, not just a momentary impulse.Even though people know in their hearts that many criticisms are sincere and well-meaning, they still feel very uncomfortable when someone accuses them of their shortcomings or mistakes.

Don't think about things in one mind. There are many ways to correct mistakes. Only those who are not smart enough like to criticize others.We must keep in mind that people only remember that "good advice is harmful to the ear and good for deeds" only when no one criticizes them. No one likes to be criticized.It is a kind of uneducated behavior to constantly blame others, as Miss Hall King wrote in her diary: "If you want to make a person correct a mistake, you can never hope for the way of reprimanding-it is the most stupid. Way."