Chapter 21 Only when there is "giving up" can there be "gaining"

Only by being willing can we gain; by letting go can we strive for new goals; by forgetting can we have peace of mind; The quality of interpersonal relationship has a great influence on a person's career achievement, and everyone hopes to have a good and broad interpersonal relationship.A person who is quite successful in the business world said in a newspaper that in order to establish a good and broad interpersonal relationship, the concept of "willingness" must be used, that is, only with "giving up" can there be "gaining".If you don't "give up" but want to "get", that kind of interpersonal relationship is quite limited.Therefore, we must learn to take the initiative to attack and satisfy the other party's ego first.

I think many people will agree with his words, because everyone has accepted other people's "give up" and become someone else's friend. If you want to strive for "gain", you must first learn to "give up".People are basically "self"-centered, think of "I" first in everything, and think about themselves first.So sometimes I think: why doesn't someone say hello to "me" first? Why doesn't someone invite "me" to dinner instead of someone else? Why doesn't someone send a birthday card to "me"? Why does someone say hello to "me" "Is there a distance?

If you think like this, other people think like this, that is to say, everyone puts "gain" in their hearts and hangs in front of their eyes. If both parties are unwilling to "give up" first, then this relationship will not be possible! In this way, we should learn to take the initiative, satisfy the other party's ego first, and take the first step for the establishment of the relationship between the two parties. Taking the initiative to attack is the first step of "letting go", that is, first "letting go" of your reserve, "letting go" of your arms, and showing a peaceful gesture to the other party.The next step is to have a practical approach.Ordinary daily pleasantries and greetings seem to be nothing, but if you can add concern for the other party in ordinary conversations, then this interpersonal relationship will slowly ferment.Of course, your concern should not have the meaning of spying, otherwise it will arouse the vigilance of the other party. It is best to use the topic to make the most of it. For example, start with work, then expand to family and leisure, and slowly open the other party's heart window.

However, this alone is not enough, because it can only allow you to establish an ordinary relationship, and you must add certain ingredients to consolidate this relationship.It is very simple to learn how to do it. First of all, abandon the self-centered thinking and do something for the other party! After carefully understanding the following content, you will understand. (1) Observe and understand the needs of the other party. Before the other party speaks, you do it for him first. He will not only thank you, but also be surprised; Not much effect, but Yi Jun will still be very moved. (2) Share your resources, including material, spiritual and interpersonal. For example, you can introduce your friends to him, borrow your CD, send him the flowers you planted or the books you collected. Anyway, as long as the other party If you don't have it and you have it, you can share it with him.

Put the interests of others first in everything, and move them with your sincerity. This kind of "giving up" will really be exchanged for "gaining".But some exceptions are not ruled out.Because there are many ungrateful people in this world.But then again, for this kind of person, how can you "get" if you don't "give up"! As the saying goes: "One kind of rice feeds a hundred kinds of people", you don't have to expect a kind response from the other party, but you have to believe that "giving up" is the seed, and "gaining" is the harvest. Some seeds germinate early, and some germinate quickly. late, but there is always a sprout and a harvest.All in all, to build relationships, you can't just sit around and wait for someone to "come to your door" and you won't even have a door!