Chapter 7 Straightforwardness should also be measured

The sense of proportion in interpersonal communication is a kind of wisdom and ability, which needs continuous practice.The ancients said: "If you are proud, you will think about whether you have euphemism, and if you are frustrated, you will think about whether you have resentment." No matter when you are proud or frustrated, you need to constantly reflect on yourself and practice. Speaking scale is the most difficult thing to master in the sense of proportion. Some people don't know how to grasp the sense of proportion when speaking, so they often offend people and are not conducive to interpersonal communication.

There was such a story: Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to tell the truth, and he told the truth about everything, so no matter where he went, he was always chased away.In this way, he became impoverished and had nowhere to live. Finally, he came to a monastery, hoping to be taken in.After seeing him and asking the reason, the abbot thought that those who love the truth and tell the truth should be respected.So, he was left to settle down in the monastery.Some of the animals in the monastery were useless, and the abbot wanted to sell them, but he dared not send any of his men to the market, for fear they would keep the money from the sale of the animals in their pockets.So he asked the man to bring two donkeys and a mule to the market to sell.

The man only told the truth in front of the buyer: "The donkey with the broken tail is very lazy and likes to lie in the mud. Once, the long-term workers tried to pull it out of the mud, but they pulled it hard and broke the tail; The bald donkey was so stubborn that he didn't want to walk a step, so they whipped him, because he was so much whipped that his hair was bald; and the mule was old and lame. If he could do the job, why should the abbot have Are they sold?" As a result, the buyers left after hearing these words.As soon as these words spread in the market, no one came to buy the animals.So the man drove them back to the monastery at night.

The abbot, in a rage, said to the man: "My friend, those who drive you away are right. You should not be kept! I like the truth, but I don't like those who do right to my pocket." Truth! So, boy, go away! Go wherever you like!" And so the man was driven from the monastery again. In fact, the encounter of the protagonist in the story is not accidental, and there are many similar examples in real life. On Christmas, the school held a celebration meeting. While distributing candies and cakes, the teacher said, "Look, children, what gifts did Santa Claus bring for you?" Santa Claus." Although the teacher was very angry, he suppressed the anger in his heart and changed his words: "Only good girls who believe in Santa Claus can get candy." Kaidi replied: "I don't care for candy." The teacher was furious and punished Katie sat down on the floor in front.

No matter what position a person is in, and no matter what situation they are in, they all like to hear nice words and be praised by others.After all, the work is very hard. Although the ability is great or small, I have done my part. Of course, I hope that my efforts will be recognized by others and the society. This is also human nature. A person who is good at talking will definitely avoid the edge when doing things, even if he thinks that someone has done a bad job, he will not speak up.Those honest people may have to tell the truth at this time, which makes people feel that they are too reckless and show their sharpness.It is necessary to show your sharpness on specific occasions, but if it is too much, it will not only hurt others, but also hurt yourself.

If you want to understand the phenomenon that the truth is not affirmed, you will see from another angle that a basic law of individual behavior is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.It can be imagined that if someone always treats others with sincerity and is outspoken, people will definitely think that he is a trustworthy and good person, so they are happy to have a deep friendship with him, and praise him before and after others, so that he himself would be proud.In other words, sincerity has won rewards and brought benefits, so why not do it! If the situation is quite different from this, for example, if someone thinks a colleague's clothes are ugly, he immediately says to her: "People with short and thick legs are not suitable for wearing this kind of skirt."The truth is true, but after a long time, others will question him, thinking that he is used to beating others and exalting himself in front of others, which is not a wise move.

Not all topics are suitable for open discussion and outspokenness at any time and in any place.To shape a successful life, one must know how to speak and act appropriately.When speaking, the movements, expressions, and gestures must be measured. Being too blunt will make people feel bored and will greatly hinder future interpersonal communication.