Chapter 47 Section 7 Tough Psychological Problems

Phone harassment in China can overwhelm a sociologist.But in the United States, legal scholars have long figured out how to do this.The solution is very simple, that is, treat the telephone harassers as criminals and use legal means to solve difficult psychological problems.The day after I wrote the above section, I went to work in the clinic, and one of my patients, Jamie, said to me with a sad face, "I'm in big trouble." "What's the trouble?" I asked. "I was picked up by the police and now I'm facing a lawsuit." Jamie's words surprised me, but I soon knew what was wrong.Jamie once told me that he had been thinking about a girlfriend named Elaine.In Jamie's mind, Elaine is the symbol of perfection. 10 years ago, Jamie had passionately pursued Elaine, regardless of the fact that Elaine was already a married woman at that time.

"Her husband is totally unworthy of her. I once told Elaine that she should not deceive herself. Now that true love is in front of her, she should bravely break up with her husband. The two of us can create the most beautiful love in the world." When Jamie told me this passage, his expression was completely intoxicated in the memories of the good emotions in the past. Jamie didn't explain to me what was going on between him and Elaine, or why they had completely lost contact over the past 10 years.But it is clear that Elaine holds a very special place in Jamie's heart, at least he projects the image of his inner ideal woman onto Elaine.During the 10 years when he was separated from Elaine, Jamie had almost no way to enter the other party's heart in his relationship with women except for sexual communication.Worries and confusion about his superficial communication mode made Jamue's heart unable to be happy.

"Jamie, do you realize that there is something special about your relationship with your ideal woman?" Jamie immediately began to describe Elaine's beauty and purity, but I interrupted him before he could finish: "Jamie, I didn't ask about Elaine's special features, I asked about Elaine's relationship with you There's something special about it." Jamie glanced at me, saying what was the difference, but he still tried to answer my question: "I feel a spiritual connection with Elaine that I don't experience with other women." "Anything else special?"

Jamie looked at me, and he knew I had something to say, so he expressed his desire to hear my thoughts. "There are two obvious features of your relationship with Elaine that you have overlooked. Ten years ago, when Elaine was already a married woman, you jumped into Elaine's married life, hoping to save Elaine Yu Lian was confused and decided that you were Elaine's ideal husband, but Elaine didn't seem to respond enthusiastically to this. Second point, if Elaine is your ideal lover, how could you completely cut off from her in the past 10 years Contacts, or even no news, created facts that Elaine could not reach."

Jamie was still looking at me, looking like he didn't know how to answer my question for a moment. "Abstracting the statement I just made, the relationship between you and the ideal woman in your mind is: I hope to use your great love to replace the original boring love of your ideal woman. But in reality, you have not Completely carry out your ideals, and consciously or unconsciously, create the fact that you cannot fully carry out your ideal love." "Why should I do this?" "To further abstract the above abstract analysis, your ideal lover is a woman you want to love but can't love. You want to escape this state. But no matter how hard you struggle, you find that you still can't get rid of it."

"Why am I in such a paradoxical dilemma?" "From a classical psychoanalytic point of view, it has to do with your childhood family relationships." "You mean I have an Oedipus complex?" "what do you say?" Jamie fell silent for a moment, but he immediately said, "Even if it's the Oedipus complex, I want to try to solve it in real life." After losing contact with Elaine for 10 years, because of my analysis above, Jamie started looking for Elaine's whereabouts.Thanks to modern technology, Jamie quickly found Elaine's address and phone number on the Internet, and impatiently called Elaine.Elaine was not there, Jamie left a message on the answering machine: "I am Jamie, we have not contacted for 10 years, I miss you, please call me back????"

Elaine didn't answer Jamie's calls, and Jamie's phone calls later received a busy signal. Jamie thought that Elaine's family had gone on a trip, but he never expected that Elaine not only told the telephone company to block all Jamie's calls , and record the number of calls made by Jamie, and then report to the police.As a result, Jamie was arrested by the police in a daze. "When the police arrested me, they treated me like a heinous criminal. I was amused." When Jimu told me this, I realized that telephone harassment is not a trivial crime in the United States.When the police are carrying out their duties, they do so in a serious manner.Fortunately, Jamie didn't have any obvious bad intentions this time, but even though he was frank and frank, the matter had entered the judicial process, so he could only face it with a brave face.

"Although this was a bad thing for me, it helped me to get out of it. I now know that Elaine is not my ideal lover. I just used my imagination to shape her into an ideal embodiment." Jamie In the face of bad luck, I can have such a clear vision, of course I affirmed it, and wrote a psychological explanation report for him to the court, hoping that the court will consider Jamie's special situation when sentencing. I marry my mommy, you marry your daddy Freud, the patriarch of psychoanalysis, would have an inexplicable feeling of fear every time he took the train.Freud himself could not understand why he had such a strange anxiety reaction, and later, in a dream, he dreamed that his mother was undressing in front of him.After waking up, Freud actually recalled seeing his mother changing clothes in front of him during a train trip when he was 4 years old.Although only 4 years old, little Freud was shocked by his mother's nakedness.

Later, Freud put forward the famous theory of Oedipus complex, and Tiekou concluded that all sons in the world want to marry their mothers when they are four or five years old, while daughters want to marry their fathers at the same age. .In Freud's eyes, children's thinking like this is not abnormal, but innate.If parents lead their children through this stage in a peaceful and unbiased manner, their gender identity and future relationships between men and women will develop naturally and healthily.If parents make trouble at this stage, the child's gender identity and future relationship between men and women will have obvious Electra complex.Such an Electra complex will naturally cast a shadow on the relationship between husband and wife.

The Electra complex is unacceptable from the perspective of social ethics and morality, because behind the Electra complex is the love for son and daughter.The realistic expression of these two complexes is the incest between parents and children.Under the pressure of ethics and morality in the real society, if a person is to admit in public that he has an Oedipus complex, this will undoubtedly create an incestuous intention in the hearts of everyone.When I was teaching at East China Normal University, I conducted oral surveys on this to some students.Most of the male students faltered, while most of the female students sternly denied it.I once said to a female student who sternly denied the Electra complex: "According to the theory of psychoanalysis, if a person reacts too strongly to a concept that is tabooed by society, it often implies that the person is using his supernatural powers to express himself." I have the strength to suppress the taboo content into the subconscious." The female student raised her eyebrows when she heard it: "Freud is simply a patient, how can you believe his nonsense?"