Chapter 3 1.b Differences in mental strength

The difference in mental strength will eventually make a person compare with others in study, work, or life, and may even have an insurmountable gap.There are too many examples, but no one is so easy to explain clearly.The following are some examples from daily work and life to illustrate the difference in mental strength.The problems a person encounters in all aspects of life are actually interrelated and affect each other.Practice has proved that almost all embarrassments in life, whether in life, work or study, whether material or spiritual, are mostly caused by differences in mental strength-of course, often Solutions can indeed be found through opening and development of the mind.And, all of these differences are all about timing.

(1) Is the boss really stupid? At work, some people often complain that their boss or superior is stupid.But is the boss really stupid?It is not excluded that there are indeed situations where the boss is stupid - no one is perfect.However, a more likely explanation is this: In most cases, if a person does not do things, he will not expose his shortcomings, because people will only expose their shortcomings when they are doing things.This is an important reason why most people don't know it - because in essence, most people have nothing to do, and if they are doing something, they are more likely to be doing Things other people tell them to do.In any department or team, everything the boss does is explicit and visible to all subordinates or members; however, subordinates and members often do not know each other very well what the other is doing.As a result, it is easier for subordinates to "jointly" see the shortcomings of the boss.Mr. Qian Zhongshu has a very interesting description, "a monkey has to climb a tree before we can see its red buttocks".However, looking at it from another angle, the reason why the monkeys under the tree did not see or could not see the red buttocks of the monkeys around them was because they were all squatting on the ground.

Look at how people with strong mental strength think in the face of "boss stupidity". * Does this shortcoming of his hinder the achievement of the team's goals? · If yes, is there room for redress? + If it can be remedied, what is the remedy? + If it is determined that it cannot be remedied, can you effectively help as a team member? # If you can provide effective help, then come up with an effective way to communicate and provide help-because this is actually one of the obligations of the team. # If you can't provide effective help, as a team member, do you have any other feasible suggestions or effective solutions that can be implemented?

* If there is, then find a way to submit it and push it forward. * If not, then shut up for now -- not complaining anyway. · If not, it should be dealt with calmly. + If you can treat it calmly, then concentrate on doing your own work and completing your own contribution. + If you can't deal with it calmly, don't complain, you should leave quietly. Therefore, if you observe carefully, you will find that almost all those who keep complaining about "the boss is stupid" have only one common feature: they are just using "the boss is stupid" as an excuse for being lazy-their Ridiculous and sad, they themselves don't know: Since the boss is so stupid, why do they spend most of their precious lives working for that stupid boss?Those few people who can give constructive suggestions will not complain that "the boss is stupid", because they either find ways to help the boss solve the problem, or choose to leave the company when they can't help, and act on their own.

The difference in mental power makes different people face the same situation, make different interpretations, draw different conclusions, and finally produce diametrically opposed choices.Think about it, after making different choices, what is the difference in the quality of time between these people? (2) Are you really that good? I often meet such people at work, and they tell you triumphantly, "Another headhunting company has approached me..." Being spotted by a headhunter is often the capital for these people to show off or bargain with their bosses.But is it really what they think?

The job of a headhunter is to find talent and then sell the talent you find.Of course, sometimes, headhunting is to meet the buyer first, and then find the corresponding talents according to the buyer's requirements.In a sense, what headhunters do is essentially no different from that of stock speculators. They have to "buy low and sell high" to make money.Therefore, a headhunter is often not interested in all talents, because if he is equally interested in all talents, his behavior will be as stupid as that of a stock speculator who actually bought every stock in the market in equal amounts.

Like stock speculators, headhunters love undervalued targets.Just as there are always severely undervalued stocks in the stock market, there must be some seriously undervalued talents in the talent market.However, the talent market is not as transparent as the stock market in a certain sense - although the stock market is not purely transparent - because at least, the stock is clearly marked, but the talent does not indicate the monthly salary, bonus, and all benefits on the forehead What exactly are there. As the saying goes, cats have cat ways, and rats have mouse ways.Therefore, the headhunter must have his own method.A relatively simple way is to lock second-rate talents.The reason is also relatively simple.It is usually difficult for the first-class talents in any team to generate the desire to flow.Their salaries are very high, even too high; they enjoy more benefits because they have been recognized, and they are often respected by colleagues and leaders; they have more sense of satisfaction and responsibility; they cherish their reputation more... …Plus, even if they have a desire to leave one day, it is often not to go to another company, but to go out and do it alone.Therefore, first-class talents are often worthless to headhunters. In other words, first-class talents actually have no value to develop for headhunters.

Of course, the headhunters are not interested in the third-rate talents and the lesser talents, because they don't have the potential at all, or it is difficult to have the potential to be developed.Therefore, headhunters will pay the most attention to second-rate talents.Because these people will have a strong "unrecognized" emotion in any team; their treatment is not high enough; their sense of satisfaction is not strong enough; they often feel that others do not respect them enough; They don't pay as much attention to their own reputation as first-rate talents... Therefore, in a team, second-rate talents are most likely to have the desire to flow.At the same time, because of the so-called "one mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", there is most likely to be "another real tiger" among those who are defined as "second-rate talents".

The above is an analysis of the situation from the perspective of headhunters.Conversely, if a headhunter finds you one day, maybe you now understand that it may not necessarily be a particularly happy thing.Because, it is likely that in a certain sense, you are defined as a "second-rate talent", which makes the headhunter have great interest in you. The problem is, maybe you are "the other real tiger" and maybe you're not.If you are convinced that you are, in fact, headhunting is of no use to you-you are destined to do your own thing, and you don't need him.If you are not sure that you are, or if you know that you are not at all, then headhunting is still of no use to you-because you may lead you into another predicament if you listen to him, because sometimes changing the environment means Let go of all the accumulation in the past and start over completely.

Of course, not all headhunters are like this.It's like there are many stock speculators who play cards completely against common sense and end up making a lot of money, and many headhunters also have their unique methods.In any industry, there are people who are talented until they are flying in the sky.Some headhunters not only do have a set of special methods to find "another real tiger", but they can even find those people who "don't know they are tigers", and then train them step by step to become tigers. Or watch them turn into tigers bit by bit, and then sell them—of course, the best thing is to sell them before they have turned into tigers without realizing that they are already a tiger.However, the probability of this is too small, and the difficulty of operation is too high.

Again, the difference in mental strength makes different people face the same situation, make different interpretations, draw different conclusions, and finally produce diametrically opposed choices.Think about it, after making different choices, what is the difference in the quality of time between these people? (3) Is interest really that important? A student often expresses to me that she is not interested in her current major, but what she is really interested in is a certain major. -- As we so often see, these people are not happy.Because they (feel) they're doing something they don't like doing. However, is it really what they think it is?To put it bluntly, 99% of the time this is not the case.First of all, these people are not not interested in what they are doing, but they are incapable of doing what they are doing well.Nobody likes doing something they don't do well.Everyone will try to avoid their own shortcomings unconsciously: people who sing out of tune usually don't like to go to KTV with their friends; Usually, I will sit in the corner of the meeting place during the meeting...Of course, some people don’t know it: they sing out of tune but they are Maiba; Pushy.But no matter what, be sure to ask yourself this question: Is it possible that I don't like doing this just because I don't do it well?If you don't like it because you haven't done it well, you have to distinguish another thing: does it have any specific meaning for you to do it well?If there is, work on it until it's done -- there's no other choice. Conversely, if I do a good job, but I just don’t like it, purely because that thing does not have any specific meaning to me—in fact, this kind of situation is very rare—then just change to another thing and finish it. .In fact, who has the power to force you to do something you really don't like to do?If you are really forced to do it, to do what you can do well, how annoying can you be? Now let's talk about another aspect.People always say they're really interested in something else.But in fact, it should be just because they haven't started to do that thing, so they haven't been frustrated with that thing.Because they haven't encountered setbacks yet, and haven't proved that they can't do that well, so that thing is indeed very attractive to them.In fact, when many people really give up what they used to do, and then do something new and so-called really interesting, they will eventually find that it is equally difficult and frustrated to do well.It doesn't take long for these people to lose interest in doing it badly, start fantasizing about doing something else, and "rationalize" by saying, "This isn't what I'm really interested in..." So, I think interest is not very important.As long as you can do one thing well and do it better than anyone else, or at least better than most people, you can't be uninterested in that thing.Sometimes when I see the way some parents teach their children, saying it is to cultivate their interest, I quickly close my eyes—I don’t want to see my children being killed like this; however, I can see more clearly when I close my eyes, because It's all too easy to imagine the effects that take years to finally manifest, and forget why because so many years have passed.Cultivating children's interests is not just about buying a piano or books for them.In fact, according to the child's situation, choose what the child is most likely to do better than others (this may already be extremely time-consuming); Do it well, do it better than the average person, do it better than anyone else -- and then the interest arises. After all, there is a problem with the order again-it is often not that you are interested in doing a good job, but that you are interested in doing it well.People get the order wrong all the time and don't know about the mistakes.Although not absolute, it is true that most things require practice to make perfect.If you do more, you will naturally be good at it; if you are good at it, you will naturally do better than others; if you do better than others, your interest will increase, and then you will like to do it more, be better at it, and be more... a virtuous circle.But, again, doing more requires a significant investment of time.Lack of interest is often nothing more than a result, but it is used as a reason not to do well. In the end, the punishment is a lot of time wasted in vain. Again, the difference in mental strength makes different people face the same situation, make different interpretations, draw different conclusions, and finally produce diametrically opposed choices.Think about it, after making different choices, what is the difference in the quality of time between these people? (4) Is the learning method really important? As mentioned earlier, as a teacher, I often encounter students asking "Teacher, is this method really useful?" In fact, I know that students have more than one problem, and they have further problems.Of course, only smart people care about methods, and there's nothing wrong with that.However, students are always overly concerned with whether the method they are using is correct.It's not enough to be right, you have to consider whether the method is smart enough.Furthermore, in addition to being correct and ingenious, it is also necessary to be efficient, because life is short, and if success is too slow, happiness will inevitably be halved. However, these seemingly "reasonable" ideas must have limitations.Otherwise, there is a phenomenon that cannot be explained at all: many people use very stupid and ineffective methods, but in the end they do succeed.There are many examples like this.My father was a graduate of the Russian Department of Heilongjiang University in the 1960s.During the Cultural Revolution, he started to learn English by himself at the May Seventh Cadre School.In that era, listening to the Voice of America was not called "listening", but "eavesdropping on the enemy's station"-it could be criminalized.After the Cultural Revolution, he implemented the policy and was rehabilitated. In the early 1980s, he began to teach in a university in Northeast China, serving as the head of the English Department until his retirement.It's hard to imagine how many reference books he had at that time, and there was nothing special about his method--I asked him for many details, and I can be sure that he only knew what there was in this world from me "Ai Binghaus Memory Law Curve" 2.I am often surprised that my father does not have Kingsoft PowerWord, the electronic version of Webster's dictionary with real pronunciation, the software "I love to recite words", and there are no super cool cheats. How could he learn to that extent! Another rather illustrative example involves a respectable professor, Mr. Zhong Daolong.Mr. Zhong Daolong is famous for his "Reverse English Learning Method".No offense meant here, I'm just trying to tell the truth.Mr. Zhong's method is not only not new (the essence of it - "dictation", or "dictation", is almost the most basic learning method for teaching second language majors in all universities) but also not particularly efficient.However, not only Mr. Zhong Daolong himself learned very well - it is said that he started learning English at the age of forty-five and became a senior translator a year later, many students who believed in the reverse English learning method also achieved very good learning results.how could be? The most exaggerated example involves another person, the famous and crazy one, Li Yang.This person who made more than 3,000 students kneel down collectively, and later persuaded female college students to shave their hair and learn from their teachers, with his beautiful pronunciation that cannot help but be convincing, and with his crazy attitude that shocked many people, he conquered countless people in the north and south of the river. student.Whatever the controversy, one thing is certain, while he himself succeeded through madness, many students really improved their English because of it.What's the matter? The place where I once worked was called New Oriental School.Yu Minhong, the founder of that school, made his fortune starting from his TOEFL and GRE training.The method of memorizing words he taught is currently the most popular "root and affix" memory method.In fact, this method is also not a panacea, but an auxiliary method.But what is certain is that Yu Minhong himself does have a very high vocabulary, and his students have indeed used his method to memorize words and get good grades in the test. New Oriental Education Technology Group has now grown into a giant in the domestic education field. Hegemony, and has already been successfully listed on the New York Stock Exchange in the United States itself shows that the word-of-mouth of benefiting students has played a decisive role-New Oriental rarely spends money on advertising in the media.However, that method is not wise, is it? I don't know how others are, but I know that my father disdains the so-called "root and affix mnemonics".Once I had a big talk with him about "root affixes", his retort was: "Did you memorize all Chinese characters with radicals? Just kidding. You forgot that after you learned to use 3,000 characters in common Do you have to look up the words you know? In that case, you don’t look up the dictionary, but if you have to use the radicals to guess, isn’t it wrong every time you guess?--There are even special words in Chinese to warn you not to Don't 'make the meaning clear', have you forgotten?" I don't know if Li Yang or Yu Minhong used the essence of Mr. Zhong Daolong's reverse English learning method ("dictation"); even if they used it, I probably didn't learn from Mr. Zhong Daolong; but I know one thing for sure, Mr. Zhong Daolong and Principal Yu Minhong are certainly not crazy, but more successful. The indisputable fact is that they are all successful, at least, they are very successful.The methods are not the same, and may even be opposite.However, if you look closely, you will find that they are exactly the same in at least one thing - they are very hardworking people.Yes, what I have always wanted to say is that the method is important, but compared to "hard work", it is almost negligible.It's not easy to say something clearly, especially this thing.It wasn't until one day, when my fitness trainer was chatting with me, that I had a sudden inspiration, and I was able to clarify this matter. My trainer's arm circumference is 43 cm, which is almost as thick as a normal person's thigh.Once he told me his practice trick - when holding a dumbbell, be sure to stick the edge of the palm to the dumbbell plate on the side of the body.In this way, the other end of the dumbbell will naturally turn outwards at a small angle, which is just enough to maximize the varicose stimulation of the muscles when the arms are flexed and extended.Then he smiled triumphantly and said, "How simple!" But I suddenly understood another thing: his success did not actually come from this so-called "simple and mysterious technique", because I knew another The fitness coach has an arm circumference of 45 cm. I have never seen the coach with a 45 cm arm circumference hold dumbbells in this way.But they all succeeded. The arm circumference beyond ordinary people is practiced like this: there are only three or five common exercises for the biceps.Practice once a week specifically for the biceps; three movements each time; each movement should be done at least 5 groups; each group should repeat the same movement 8 to 12 times; the weight should be calculated until it can no longer be done; Lasts 54+ weeks -- As for how you hold the dumbbells, it doesn't really matter.In particular, for ordinary people, there is no difference between 43 cm and 45 cm, both are "thick as a thigh..." The most important thing is just this: repeat, repeat without interruption, repeat for more than a year. Therefore, all success in learning depends on only two things: strategy and persistence, and persistence itself should be one of the most important strategies.Persistence, in fact, is repetition, and repetition, in the final analysis, is time investment, I mean, a lot of time investment.According to my mother, when my father is learning anything, he can spend all his time studying without wasting sleep or eating.Mr. Zhong Daolong said frankly, "I have put in a lot of effort to learn English. Here are a few specific examples: I insist on dictating 20 pages of A4 paper every day, and I will never stop until I reach my goal. I will hold the meeting late at night. Also make up. From January 31, 1980 to February 1983, I wrote a cabinet of dictation records in three years, used up a ballpoint pen refill, listened to 9 electronic tube recorders, 3 semiconductor tape recorders, and single player 4 books, and 2 dictionaries were broken." Yu Minhong is a person who works very hard when doing what he wants to do.I don't know how he learned English, but I know that in order to make New Oriental bigger, he has to arrange the next year's schedule one year in advance. The Outlook schedule needs to be printed out one page a day, and it is full.Even Li Yang, I believe his beautiful pronunciation is not just from talent or so-called "crazy", but, he has been "crazy" for many, many years. Compared with persistence, how important is method?In many cases, even if it is so unimportant that it can be ignored, it is not too much.Therefore, there are so many people who are constantly looking for a better method, which is very ridiculous but has to be sighed.Instead of constantly looking for a better way, it is better to start taking action immediately to save more wasted time. Again, the difference in mental strength makes different people face the same situation, make different interpretations, draw different conclusions, and finally produce diametrically opposed choices.Think about it, after making different choices, what is the difference in the quality of time between these people? (5) Is touch typing worth learning? Around the age of 25, I realized for the first time that some of my ideas could be "seemingly logically correct despite being wrong".At that time, I had been in contact with computers for nearly 10 years.Before I came into contact with the computer, when none of my classmates had seen what a typewriter was like, I already knew how to operate the keyboard because of my father who was proficient in English and Russian.However, when I was nearly 25 years old, I still couldn’t touch type—even though there were special typing classes in school (the computer classes in many schools at that time were actually just practicing Wangma Wubi Chinese input). I also often plausibly tell my classmates that practicing typing is a waste of time.I think the Wangma Wubi Chinese input method is just for typists.To be precise, the Wubi input method is just a copying method, because you can only type while watching.But for those who actually create content, is there anything more absurd than writing it out with pen and paper and then transcribing it into a computer?Learning the strokes of Chinese characters is already tiring, so what kind of fingering do I need to practice, damn it.Not to mention the interference of this so-called input method on thinking - you have to disassemble the words before typing, and you still need to disassemble the characters in an inexplicable way.I think that the pinyin input method is the real input method with a short learning curve, quick start, and does not affect thinking.However, even if I don’t type blindly, using two fingers is already pretty fast (at least faster than handwriting), do you think I still need to learn Wubi input and touch typing?Ha, my dad used two fingers on the keyboard all his life! Of course, as of today, I still insist that the Wubi input method is only a transitional product of a phased compromise, and will die out completely sooner or later; I still insist that the Pinyin input method is the greatest Chinese input method.However, this is not the point. Much later, another thing happened.I was 25 years old that year. Around 1997, there were almost no other more practical applications on the Internet except for chat rooms and forums.At that time, Microsoft Windows finally bundled and launched "Microsoft Pinyin Input Method 1.0" developed by Harbin Institute of Technology.One afternoon, after two hours of wanton chatting with a girl whom I would never know who it was, I suddenly discovered that I had learned so-called "blind typing" without a teacher!In the following period of time, many people envied me for typing too fast, so I simply spent about 20 minutes changing the default setting of "Quanpin Input" to "Shuangpin Input"; I chose to increase the setting of "Southern fuzzy sound" (of course, this also has side effects. After more than 10 years, I suddenly found that I could no longer distinguish the flat retroflex sound...). This is the first time I realized that "some things that are even common sense need to be experienced in order to understand."Of course, for many years after that, what I have been struggling with is another direction-how to use the power of the mind to experience it as deeply as if it has been experienced by the mind alone, even though I have not had the opportunity to experience it personally? (In future texts, I will explain in detail how to get rid of the limitations of experience. For details, see 4.b Get rid of the limitations of experience.) Only with unparalleled typing speed can you know how good typing is.I suddenly found that I no longer hated taking notes while reading, because typing out many words on the keyboard is much easier than using pen and paper.I started to record my impressions in large sections, and sometimes I simply copied large sections of the original text—of course, it would be even better if I read electronic texts, just copy and paste, which saves trouble!In just two or three months, I have more than 100M of text data.In the past, one of the troubles of reading was: I have clearly read a passage related to this, but where is it?When life and death can't be found, there is a desire to scold mothers.In addition to the convenience of editing, the electronic text has a powerful search function that cannot be realized in the printed version.With such a search function, it is difficult to encounter the kind of itchy palms that are so annoying. When I really realized how beneficial it is to take notes, or even a large number of notes, when I was reading, I was so surprised that I broke out in a cold sweat.I suddenly realized how ridiculous it was for me to refuse to practice touch typing in the past.At that time, even if there was no stimulus from the opposite sex, it would take at most a week to get things done. I actually refused to study and practice out of laziness.If this thought makes me get goosebumps all over my body, even if it took me a week to learn touch typing five years ago, how many more reading notes and words can I accumulate? --What's more, almost 15 years ago, I had the opportunity, and it was entirely possible to learn touch typing.God, how much time have I wasted?I dare not think about it anymore. I talked to myself for a long time: "Oh my God, how much time did I waste?!" I stared blankly at the icon of the folder with 100M text files stored in the computer, but I wanted to beat my chest and feet in my heart.I'll never forget that moment of shuddering, exactly like falling off a cliff in a nightmare and then suddenly waking up.It would be an oversimplification to say that the absurdity of the past is lazy and naive.In fact, my mental faculties were not strong enough to allow me to realize that I was just lazy—and actually plausible and self-satisfied.horrible!I never forgot what I told myself that day: "It's terrible to be mentally retarded..." I remember that in the past, the teacher once explained that Zeng Zi said in the Analects that "I examine myself three times a day" has two interpretations. The first is that I reflect on myself three (more) times every day; The matter comes from self-reflection; and according to the context, it seems that the second explanation is more reasonable.However, my epiphany after being terrified by my sudden clarity of consciousness was that it doesn’t matter whether he “reflects three times a day” or “lists three things to reflect on”; the important thing is , He is "reflecting" every day-as a real person, it seems that nothing is more important than this. (6) Summary These examples just now can clearly tell us how shocking the difference in mental strength can be between each individual.What's even more frightening is that this difference is too subtle - because this difference is not at all the obvious difference in appearance, body and wealth.So this difference is either simply ignored or denied in various ways. In fact, there is nothing more important than discovering, cultivating, nurturing, and adjusting the power of your own mind.Once there is a problem with our minds, we will make wrong judgments because of wrong understanding, so the time wasted is often not only immeasurable, but what is more frightening is that such mistakes and waste may not even be known at all.