Chapter 14 Chapter Thirteen Self-Psychological Manipulation

If you want to convince the other party, you must first be able to convince yourself. A capable person will never speak easily, but once he speaks, every word he says must have the courage to convince the other party.Because before he can convince others, he must first be able to convince himself.In other words, if you want to control the movement of other people's thoughts, you must first understand their psychological structure and express what you think in your heart. That is, you must start with self-training. There is an advertisement to sell TV and washing machine, the salesman is a loyal middle-aged man, when he appears on the fluorescent screen, people feel a strong persuasive force.Before shooting the advertisement, the advertising star took the products home and used them for a few days to fully understand and study the functions of these products, and then he had full confidence to promote the products effectively.It can be seen from this that the thought of this commercial star is by no means comparable to the attitude of ordinary beauties and handsome men when they shoot commercials.

This is also confirmed by the experimental results of CI Hobrandt of Yale University.He divided the students into two groups, and then recited a passage in front of the audience respectively, and found that the audience's reactions were quite different.One group recited the draft in a monotonous tone, while the other group performed the passage with calibrating speech techniques, and as a result, the latter resonated better with the audience.It can thus be proved that the latter group of students has been completely self-convinced. For a role-playing to feel natural, it must be considered part of your daily routine.In fact, there is still a considerable distance between accepting the role and fully believing in the value of this role, and how to make up for this distance lies in fully integrating the role into one's own thoughts and fully integrating one's energy into the role.In other words, you have to convince yourself before you can play a capable role.

In the past, there was a kind of danjiao who disguised themselves as women. It is said that these actors who disguised themselves as women had to play the role of women in their daily life.This is because, if they want the audience to convince the audience that they are female characters through their acting skills, they must first believe that they are female in their daily life. Take advantage of moves of "similarity" to truly make them your own. There are many people in the world who dislike their personalities very much. In fact, as long as they are not pathological, everyone has their own personalities, so there is no need to deliberately worry about their own personalities.But if someone wants to change their personality, or want to experience another kind of life, it is not impossible.

Man is a kind of animal that is easy to accept hints. As long as this feature is used, a certain wish can be achieved. "Morita Therapy" is the best testimony of the application of this characteristic of human beings. "Morita Therapy" is a method developed by Dr. Masama Morita of Japan for the treatment of mental illness, and it has been proved in psychology that this method is indeed effective.In fact, the principle of this method is very simple, that is, no matter what symptoms the patient has, as long as he thinks he is happy, he will achieve the goal of being happy; as long as he behaves very healthy, he will become very healthy.In other words, as long as a person behaves "like" a certain behavior, the behavior will automatically become his own.This is a psychological principle.

"Morita Therapy" was created using this principle.During the first week of hospitalization, the patient is only allowed to engage in daily activities such as eating, washing his face, and defecation, and then he is allowed to engage in other tasks, such as sweeping the floor, taking care of flowers and birds, making handicrafts, etc.These jobs are very important. In addition to replacing the mental stability treatment, it enables patients to engage in jobs that ordinary people can do, and then gradually restores their self-confidence and their personality gradually tends to be extroverted.At the same time, patients are allowed to participate in activities such as table tennis and golf in their spare time. After 40 days, most patients can be discharged from the hospital.

In particular, patients with neurosis such as red-faced phobia, phobia of people, and phobia of going out are often unable to adapt to changes in the environment because of psychological uneasiness, and this kind of therapy can completely eliminate the patient's fear. The above method can allow patients to adapt to other environments gradually, so it can also be applied to ordinary people.American sociologist Marton Ridge has done research on American soldiers, and the conclusion is that most people who often imitate the behavior of corporals can become corporals. In other words, if they often imply that they are like their bosses at work, Its work efficiency will inevitably be greatly improved, and it can even really ascend to the throne of the boss.

People will express their inner resistance with actual spatial distance. In the classroom of a certain university, there are about 50 or 60 students in the whole class, and there is no limit on seats, and students who arrive early can choose their own seats.Quite interestingly, the location chosen by each student is almost fixed.Since the classroom is not big, the distance from the teacher is not much different no matter where they sit, but the students seem to subconsciously use the distance of the seat to express the distance from the teacher.Students who can express their opinions clearly and have excellent grades on weekdays can sit in the front calmly.Conversely, the poorer the student's grades, the more he or she will choose a seat in a more remote corner.

In fact, this tendency has been proved as early as in William Rayport's experiment, and in the book "Body Language", it was introduced that the distance between the talkers is related to their personality.Therefore, based on this conclusion, the teacher conducted a psychological test for the students.Divide the students into two types: introverted and extroverted, and then call the students to the research room together, and interview them one by one regarding their grades.The teacher divides the students' grades into three grades: "poor", "average", and "excellent". When handing over the report card with "poor" to the students, he said to them: "Your grades are really bad. Now, it turns out that you don't work hard at all!" Afterwards, the students who were rated as "excellent" sat closer to the teacher, while the students who were rated as "poor" sat farther away.

Furthermore, on personality tests, students classified as introverts, for better or worse, consistently sat farther away than extroverted students. This experiment seems to prove that we often express our psychological resistance to each other by keeping a physical distance.For example, in the company's regular meetings, if there is no good business plan, I always like to sit in a place where the boss can't see, and then pretend to be ignorant and smoke cigarettes leisurely. In addition, people who are less willing to deal with their bosses usually like to sit farther away. In fact, this phenomenon is an interaction.People who often sit at a distance tend to be less motivated to work and have difficulty forming rapport with their supervisors.Therefore, it is best for these people to deliberately sit closer to their boss, so that they can show others that they are determined to transform themselves.

Only by observing yourself objectively and admonishing yourself can you control yourself. This is a well-known quote by the famous American psychologist Clark Brist: "The method of self-suggestion in front of the mirror." Once, he was invited by a millionaire to a dinner party. Hobbling to the bathroom, he followed him, hoping to help.But the rich man didn't notice the existence of Brist, but faced the mirror and murmured to himself: "John (the rich man's name) what are you doing? The guests are waiting to see you get drunk and make a fool of yourself! You must not admit defeat, in fact, you are not drunk at all, cheer up, you are the master of this place! You must not be drunk!"

Just after he said this passage repeatedly, his attitude regained his composure, and then he returned to the banquet, and actually started talking about his new plan with other people.This is the effect achieved by the rich man observing himself objectively through the mirror and talking objectively to himself in the mirror. If certain situations are taken as real, most of them will turn out to be real. There is a well-known idiom: "With sincerity, gold and stone will open." This sentence means that as long as a person goes all out, he will be able to succeed immediately.However, from a psychological point of view, in addition to hard work, the most important thing is that you must think that you "must be able to do it" in order to truly realize your wish. Dr. WC Lake, an American psychologist, once traced the whereabouts of problematic teenagers on Slam Street, thus completing a psychological research report. Dr. Rex took sixth graders in Cranebus, Ohio, the most famous crime zone, and divided them into two groups, one group was children who were regarded as problem teenagers, and the other group was children who were regarded as Children for outstanding teenagers.After a five-year follow-up investigation, it was finally discovered that these teenagers really developed in accordance with the image identified by others.The latter generally have no problems, while the former have been in the juvenile court an average of three times.Dr. Rex had interviewed the former group of teenagers, and finally found that these problem teenagers had long believed that they "sooner or later will be taken care of by the police". This mentality shows that they have instilled in themselves unconsciously This kind of thinking, moreover, they always think that it is impossible for them to graduate, and they even think that their inappropriate behavior is caused by their parents. A woman who thinks she is ugly must be ugly; a student who thinks she will fail the exam will also lose her name; lose. In fact, the success or failure of a matter is not so much determined by the ability of the person involved, as it is dominated by the person's confidence.For, if certain situations are taken to be true in the first place, most of them will turn out to be true. Especially if frequent self-suggestion will lead to negative results, the probability of failure is quite high.Therefore, in order to get positive and good results, the prerequisite is to keep telling yourself: "It will succeed!" With this kind of self-confidence, good results are bound to be obtained. The best way to calm the nerves is to tense them sharply and then gradually relax them back to normal. When our nerves are tense, it is much better to let it intensify and then calm ourselves down slowly than to rush to calm the spirit.The American psychologist Ashura named this method "the principle of homogeneity". He confirmed a fact through various experiments: letting a person who is distraught listen to a piece of sad music and then listen to relaxing music can effectively reduce the pain. relieve his grief. Just because music has such a subtle influence on people's psychology, so long as the method is appropriate, it can also be used as a tool for psychological warfare. For example, obstetrics and gynecology hospitals use music for painless childbirth; dentistry plays music during treatment in order to relieve patients' pain. According to the research of music therapy authorities, after letting patients with severe constipation enjoy a piece of music such as Mozart's "Minuet" and Chopin's "Mazurka" before eating and going to bed, the patient can start to function normally from the third day. to defecate. Gastrointestinal is the organ most easily affected by nerves. As long as the nerves are tense, it will cause symptoms such as constipation, diarrhea, and indigestion. This is the experience of many people.In this regard, as long as specific music is used for treatment, the nerves can be rested and the gastrointestinal function can be promoted. Repeatedly operating the muscles moderately can effectively ease the tension on the nerves. When people fall into mental or nervous tension, they can ease the tension by simple activities of the body or other parts.Perhaps around you, you can find many people who shake their legs when they are nervous, impatient, or doing nothing.In fact, this phenomenon comes from a subtle psychological effect. From the perspective of neurophysiology, there is no direct relationship between various parts of the body and mental activities or thinking activities, but it is well known that moderate and repeated muscle movements can ease nervous or mental tension and restore calmness. . This psychological and physical structure can be applied to a fairly wide range. For example, we often see old people holding two hard walnuts in their hands, and then constantly turning and playing with them.This behavior is also consistent with the above principle. Some people think that this kind of exercise can prevent strokes. In fact, it is the use of moderate hand movements to ease the tension of the elderly who are prone to mental tension and relieve nervous tension.Therefore, it makes sense for the elderly to play walnuts. In addition, some manufacturers have recently produced small egg-shaped toys for modern people to calm their spirits. Here, I will tell you a way to use this principle to effectively calm your mind.If someone invites you to give a speech at a wedding banquet or a meeting, when you get up and stand, you might as well hold a lighter in your hand, and then turn the lighter subconsciously while speaking, which can help prevent stage fright . Being naked without the appearance of education and beauty can give a person the opportunity to stand up again. In some countries, although miners earn no worse than the average person, they have little savings.After a hard day's work "underground", they spend their hard-earned money drinking and having fun. When we look deeply at the lives of these miners, we find that they have the "most basic" toughness.Just because they think they are the lowest class characters, they can face life calmly. Compared with them, people in the middle class are very restless.Because middle-class people always dream of one day being able to join the upper class; sometimes they are anxious, lest they will fall into poverty again if they are not careful, so they are always full of anxiety in their hearts, and they will always feel anxious anytime, anywhere. Appears to be sincere and fearful. This is what causes their restlessness and mental breakdown.An authoritative person in hypnotherapy once used the so-called "garbage therapy" to diagnose and treat this disease with these people as objects, and achieved considerable results.The method he used was to bring these patients to the temple early in the morning and let them pick up the trash. The essence of this therapy is to allow patients to completely remove the illusory appearance of education and beauty, to face themselves naked again, to allow them to stand up again, and thus put aside the factors that made them mentally weak. Regardless of the life of a miner or picking up junk, let us re-evaluate the utility of the "lowest" life.When we can't break through a certain difficulty, we might as well allow ourselves to "sink" and see how far we can fall. Just as many artists and writers often create immortal masterpieces when they are most depressed, we can also find the motivation to turn defeat into victory in adversity.This method is better than looking for troubles and worrying about it every day! The most effective way to overcome difficulties is not to escape the harsh reality, but to face the problem squarely. It is a common phenomenon in modern society that more and more young women have different degrees of fear of obesity. How to prevent this vicious circle from continuing to evolve?The most important thing is to face up to your obese body.In other words, accept this serious fact. Ms. Jin En Nandiqi, the principal of the leading weight loss school in the United States, reduced her weight from 97 kg to 66.5 kg in just one year.The reason why she decided to lose weight was purely by accident.One day, when she was shopping in a supermarket, a strange girl came up to her and said, "Madam, your belly is so big! When will you give birth?" Ms Nanditch has since vowed to lose weight.As soon as she thought of this sentence, she tried hard to suppress her appetite.The girl's unintentional words had such a big effect. In addition, Mr. Richard B. Schwart, who specializes in psychotherapy at the University of Michigan, has made 8 obese women lose weight through the following four stages of practice. Phase 1: Write in detail about your favorite games or objects, your unease about obesity, how much and when you eat each meal (including watching TV and snacking at work). This method is to make obese people understand I eat almost non-stop every day, and have painful memories.Schwart required them to measure their weight four times a day and interview them three times a week to understand their diet and weight changes. Phase 2: Interrupt them in the middle of eating.The initial interval is a few seconds that interrupt once, and then gradually increase the time.In addition, when there is still food in their mouths, they are asked to put down their knives and forks so that they can observe how much they are eating. The third stage: Make the time of eating independent, that is, get rid of the bad habit of eating while doing things. The fourth stage: try to make the patient concentrate on activities other than eating and drinking during the dangerous time of the day when the appetite is the strongest. These seemingly unrelated stimuli made these women feel great anxiety, and finally triggered the will to lose weight. By organizing the data, you can increase the amount of memory data. Please take 30 seconds to watch the following words arranged by YES and NO, and then recite them in the same order. Can you do it? YES, YES, NO, YES, NO, NO, NO, YES, YES, NO, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, NO, YES, NO, NO, YES, NO, NO, YES. If you don't bother to remember, you can only remember half of it.I have done experiments with college students, and the result is that the average number of memories is 13. Does it mean that human memory is limited?No!Absolutely not, as long as you put in a little effort, you can increase it by 1.5-3 times.And this kind of kung fu is to organize the original units into larger units, and then treat them as symbols and store them in memory.In other words, it is not an individual memory, but a combination of parts and memory.That is to replace each small group with a symbol, and then recite it. For example, the combination of YES and YES can be regarded as one and coded with 1, the combination of YES and NO can be replaced with 2, the combination of NO and NO can be coded with 3, and the combination of NO and YES can be coded with 4. code name.Then write down 1, 4, 2, 4, 1, 1, 4, 3, 2, 4 in order in your mind, so that it is similar to memorizing a phone number.In fact, these college students were asked to memorize in this way, and the results showed that the average person could memorize 21, and even the amount of personal memory could be increased to more than three times.Incidentally, the number of YES and NO used in this experiment is more than the previous examples. This method can also be extended.That is to change the combination of two units into three units, that is, YES, YES, YES=1, YES, YES, NO=2... and so on.After the combination unit is enlarged, the content of the memory increases. This kind of memory method has already been applied in computer language.The computer's light bulb will flash different lights according to the internal memory status.But when testing long series of data, computer technicians often have difficulty remembering them all, so they use symbols to remember.That is to write down a long series of symbols first, and organize the flashing lights, so that the amount of memory increases a lot. Now, think about it carefully, isn't language also a product of organization and grouping?For organizing a jumble of things to retain in memory or communicate to others, only language can achieve the highest efficiency. Using TV and radio as learning tools can improve the effect of learning. There was a boy who learned two foreign languages ​​in four years.The way he learns is quite unique.In the first year, he used TV as a learning tool; in the second year, he used the radio as a learning tool, and the effect was unexpectedly good. His approach can be said to unintentionally exploit the characteristics of modern communication media.Television is a very suggestive instrument of intoxication, and the radio is a very concentrated instrument of awakening.In other words, the TV screen will deprive the viewer of sight and hearing, and make people immersed in hints and completely forget themselves.Therefore, in addition to cultivating potential language ability, it can also give people the illusion that they have fully understood. While listening to language programs on the radio or foreign language programs, you must completely concentrate all your senses and rationality, so that your brain cells can be fully integrated into the foreign language. Many modern scholars are studying how to use the characteristics of mass communication to improve learning.Among them, the experimental report of the Canadian mass communication theorist Martha Markham is the most eye-catching. He first divided the college students to be tested into four groups, and gave lectures in four ways: TV, radio, teachers' direct lectures and reading handouts.Except for the group that read the handouts, the other three groups are not allowed to ask questions for discussion. Thirty minutes later, the same questions were tested, and the results showed that the students who were taught by TV and radio performed better than those who were taught by the teacher or read the handouts. Later, he used the auditory and visual characteristics of television and radio to give lectures.As for the group of direct lectures, the teacher will further explain on the blackboard, while the group of reading handouts only spend more time on printing to improve the learning effect.Then take another quiz and the results are almost exactly the same as the previous one.It is worth noting that listening to the radio is more effective than watching TV. The results of this experiment seem to confirm the previously mentioned use of public communication tools to enhance learning.Although it is not yet possible to say that the learning method of the radio is definitely better than that of the TV, it can be said bluntly that moderately changing the learning method can make the learning effect better. Before the memory is reproduced, the less stimulation is received, the more correct the memory is reproduced. We often use the phrase "grind your guns before the battle, and be happy when you are unhappy" to describe the situation of working all night to prepare for schoolwork on the eve of the exam.Although teachers always warn students not to grind their guns before the battle or cram their feet, theoretically, it is necessary to grind their guns before the battle. Although from a psychological standpoint, it has been proved that grinding their guns before the battle is not an effective memory method. In the face of fierce competition in the exam, it is a good way to grind your guns before the battle, and we would like to advise everyone that if you really want to grind your guns before the battle, you should adopt the most effective method. The first principle that must be remembered is that when you feel sleepy, you should never force yourself to go to bed immediately.Moreover, you don't have to get up early the next day, just sleep enough to catch up with the exam.Maybe you will question this argument, but this argument is based on the psychology of memory, and it has been proven that the memory will be reproduced more correctly if it is stimulated by other stimuli before the memory is reproduced. .In psychology, this phenomenon is called "retrograde inhibition". If you want to keep the memory, you should try to avoid unnecessary stimulation from entering the mind, so as not to cause "retrograde inhibition". Therefore, when the memory is finished, you should go to bed immediately and sleep until Before the exam, it is the most effective method to completely block the interference from the outside world. The following incident can also illustrate this principle. The experimental results of two psychologists, JG Jenkins and KM Darren Barker, have confirmed that people will forget the things they remembered before sleep in the first two hours of sleep, but they can keep the memory for the next time, even after A long time of 8 hours can also retain half of the memory.But if you keep awake, after 8 hours, almost all memories will disappear, or only about 10% can be retained.This statement can also be used as evidence of "retrograde inhibition". This principle can be applied to all memories in addition to the situation of grinding guns in battle.In addition, besides sleep, there are other methods to prevent retrograde depression, such as similar memory, which are also closely related to this principle.In short, just try to keep other things out of the memory of your brain, and you can retain the memory you need. Give a hint to a hypnotized person, and when the other person wakes up, he will take the suggested action. Suggestion is a weapon commonly used in psychological tactics. It can be used in various things, especially if you want the other party to get rid of bad habits, hints can play an important role. For example, use hypnosis to put an alcoholic patient into a coma, and then say to him: "When you see alcohol in the future, you will feel sick." In this way, after two or three days, the patient must not drink a drop of alcohol, but the effect of this method called "post-hypnotic suggestion" cannot last. If you want to continue its effect, you must continue to hypnotize it. Sleep learning method is an effective method developed by making full use of the principle of post-hypnotic suggestion.Because when people just fall asleep, or when they are about to wake up, the mental state is the most special, and various things can be learned.For example, if you turn on the radio before going to bed, the content played on the radio will enter your mind unconsciously.The following is to introduce the effect obtained by using the principle of post-hypnotic suggestion to implement sleep learning method. First, divide a group of children who like to bite their nails into two groups, and let them live in two adjacent houses for a month.Every night after the children go to bed, play the recording "No more nail biting, nail biting is a bad habit, never bite your nails again" in one of the rooms, and then play the recording before the children get up. And the playing equipment is removed, so that the children do not know that they have been hinted.And the children in the other room were left to their own devices. One month later, the experiment was over, and the effect of the suggestion was very remarkable. The group of children who had been hinted really got rid of the habit of biting their nails. In fact, in our daily life, we often use the effect of post-hypnotic suggestion unconsciously.For example, when we can't solve a math problem, we simply go to bed, but we continue to think about the problem repeatedly in bed, and then fall asleep deeply.This situation is a kind of self-suggestion before falling asleep.And when I wake up the next day, I often find that the problem has been solved. The reason for this effect is due to the use of sleep learning method. When people are disappointed with their expectations, they tend to lower their standards to buffer against the potential disappointment. Perhaps you have had this experience too.For example, when I took the college entrance examination, my grades were not satisfactory, so I said to myself: "Anyway, I can't pass the exam! Anyway, there is no hope!" Or I thought that my score could reach 80 points, but told myself: "Probably only 70 points." Let's divide it!" Although these words are a little insincere, this phenomenon is just a subconscious psychological tactic to alleviate disappointment.In other words, when people feel uncomfortable with an expectation, they tend to underestimate their own strengths in order not to be overly stimulated when they encounter setbacks. In order to confirm this theory, someone once did such an experiment. Once, there was a long queue at the ticket gate of a movie theater, and this person was also caught in the crowd, pretending to buy tickets to enter.While waiting, he asked others: "I'm here, can I buy it?" In fact, in the minds of ordinary people, people in this position still have the hope of buying a ticket, but it is not certain.However, the answers he got were almost all: "Probably not available!" "Probably hopeless!" On the contrary, when he asked the people at the back of the team, the answer he got was quite optimistic: "Probably can!" The latter response in the experiment.He believes that the latter is holding a kind of gambling psychology, holding fantasies held by gamblers. It can be seen from this that the reason why the latter is optimistic is not to alleviate his disappointment, but to use another psychological tactic to comfort himself since he knows that it is impossible to succeed. However, the latter's psychological tactics can often only be exchanged for the feeling of being in vain, so it is not worth encouraging.When you encounter this situation, you should recognize the facts and retreat immediately, perhaps not too disappointed.