Chapter 7 06 Your garden

When my partner and I first met, we used to spend an entire afternoon talking about stress. Me: "...According to this model, extreme behavior is the pressure from multiple angles?" Partner: "Yes, it's like you squeeze a balloon with your strength. You pinch the stressed side, but the other side is not easy. It is inflated by the force from the inside out. When the external force When a certain limit is reached, it will explode from the inside to the outside with a 'bang'. For example, if you hold a small balloon that is not too big with both hands, leaving only a small gap, then that gap will eventually expand To the limit, it becomes the breaking point."

Me: "Hey? If you say that, isn't there evidence for the breakdown point of psychological pressure?" Partner: "That's what you say, but who knows exactly where you will hold on and what gaps will be left? In fact, psychology is more like statistics - counting all possibilities, choosing a solution according to all variables - just those variables It's too big. But even so, if you spend enough time, you can definitely count it." Me: "Why do you say that psychology is like mathematics? That was the subject that bothered me the most." Partner: "How could it be mathematics? Because if the statistics are completed and the countermeasures are combined according to various situations, I am afraid that the supercomputer will also collapse. This kind of thing can only be done by humans."

Me: "Are you trying to say that humans have better computing power than computers? Doesn't that make sense?" Partner: "Why do you still consider this problem in a mathematical model?" Me: "What should I use as a metaphor?" Partner: "I think it's more like a strategy, not just getting data analysis and calculations, but also experience and a more important factor." Me: "What?" My partner looked into my eyes with a half-smile: "Intuition—a unique talent of human beings." On another afternoon several years later, when a woman appeared in front of us and told us that she suspected that she was captured, observed, and erased by aliens in her sleep, my intuition told me: this must happen. Nothing to do with aliens.At this time, my partner lowered his voice and expressed the same thoughts as me in his own way: "This matter must have nothing to do with aliens."

I couldn't help but glanced at him up and down, but he didn't realize his bad habit of talking about money all day long, so he took the woman to the study calmly. Partner: "How much do you remember?" She: "Not too many, it's all bits and pieces." Partner: "Can you describe what you remember?" She frowned slightly and recalled carefully: "I didn't have a deep impression at first, it seemed that someone was calling me... You might think it's a little scary, but I think it's okay." Partner: "No, it's not scary, trust me, I've heard weirder ones. And then?"

She: "Then... there was a blank memory, I couldn't remember what happened, I just remembered that it was dark all around, and only some light shone on me." Partner: "Are you shrouded in light?" Her: "Well, that's it." Partner: "Where were you at that time, do you still remember?" She: "I don't have a deep impression, it's very vague, I just vaguely remember that it should be at a relatively high place." Partner: "How tall is it?" Her: "About...as high as three or four floors. I'm not sure about that."

Partner: "Floating state?" She: "I don't know, I can't remember." Partner: "How do you judge that you are at a high place?" She: "Because I have the impression of looking down." Partner: "Looking down?" Her: "Yeah, being able to see trees from up there, parked cars...things like that." Partner: "Are you sure?" She: "Well, I'm sure of that." Partner: "Oh... what about the sound? Was there a sound, at that time?" She: "I don't know, I don't remember at all." Partner: "Well, go on to what you remember."

She: "After I was covered in the light for a while, it was completely dark and I couldn't see anything. It was still a little cold, but not very cold...I mean a little cold, you understand?" Partner: "Well, I understand. Also, don't use honorific titles, we are about the same age." She smiled slightly: "Well...the environment was...I couldn't see clearly because it was too dark." Partner: "Only you?" She: "I don't remember this at all, probably... it's just me." Partner: "Probably? You can't confirm? Think about it carefully."

She frowned slightly and seriously recalled: "I... I really can't remember... I really don't know!" Partner: "Okay. Then?" She: "Then...then something seemed to happen. This section is blank, with no memory at all...and then..." Speaking of this, she seemed a little scared. The partner wrote something down in the notebook. She: "It was very, very chaotic in the back. I can't remember what happened. I just have an impression." Partner: "What impression?" Her: "A pair of big eyes." Partner: "Huh? Big eyes?"

She: "It's just a pair of big eyes... staring at me." Partner: "How big is it?" "It's so big." As she spoke, she used her thumb and middle finger to draw a range on her face, which was about the size of a canned drink. The partner nodded: "Well, how far are those eyes from you?" Her: "It's very close..." As she said that, she shivered. Partner: "Can't you see the face?" She: "I can't see clearly, only the outline...like... an owl? It seems a bit like an owl is staring at me." The partner pauses, as if considering words: "Can you hear anything at this point?"

Her: "Some...but...um...not a very good voice..." Partner: "Not a very good voice? How to explain?" She: "It's... that, anyway, it sounds uncomfortable, and I can't describe it." Partner: "Is it from the big eyes?" She: "Uh... well... I... don't know." Partner: "Is there any more? Do you remember more?" She lowered her head and thought for a while: "No... yes." Partner: "How many times has this happened?" She: "Maybe... four or five times... right?" The partner nodded: "Well, I have written these down, and we are going to hypnotize later..."

She: "Oh, by the way, there is one more thing!" Partner: "What?" She: "As long as it happens at night, I wake up in the morning without being in bed." The partner seemed a little surprised: "Where is that?" Her: "On the living room floor." The partner put his hands in his trouser pockets and watched her on the phone in the hypnosis room through the glass.A few minutes later, without looking back, he said to me, "It looks like an Encounter of the Third Kind." Me: "Well, the situation described is very close." The partner looked back: "It doesn't look like the 'big eyes' erased her memory, though, did it?" Me: "I'm not sure, I have to use hypnosis to confirm." Partner: "Don't you have an opinion? This... this description about her." Me: "I am a hypnotist. Before using technical means, the conclusions I can get are limited." Partner: "From a personal point of view?" I thought for a while: "Hmm...maybe it's curiosity." My partner looked at me with a half-smile: "Aren't you afraid to draw conclusions too early?" I sighed: "That's right. Why are you suddenly interested in this?" Partner: "Because I want you to hypnotize her with an objective attitude. Neither reject nor believe, and remain neutral." Me: "Consider my professional quality?" The partner didn't answer me: "I will sit behind the camera instead of sitting behind her during hypnosis." Me: "Huh?" Partner: "I want to see if the camera works." I couldn't help laughing: "Are you worried about static noise or interference on the camera?" Partner: "Yeah." Me: "Are you sure you have a neutral attitude?" Partner: "Sure, but I have to respect the facts—if they're the truth." I nodded. "...well, that's it...when I count '1', you go back to that night and see everything that happened that night clearly..." "3..." "2……" "1." "Tell me, what do you see now?" Her breathing was calm and even. She: "I... lie on the bed..." Me: "Are you sleeping?" Her: "Yes." Me: "What happened?" Her: "I... got up..." Me: "Are you awake or asleep?" Her: "Asleep..." Me: "What did you do when you got up?" She: "I went...to the living room..." Me: "What are you doing in the living room?" She: "Waiting...waiting..." Me: "Wait? What are you waiting for?" Her: "I... don't know..." Me: "Did you find anything?" She didn't answer my question: "I...I'm not me..." Me: "Then..." I resisted not looking back to ask my partner for advice, "Then who are you?" She: "I... I am... I am a person looking for things." Me: "What are you looking for?" she does not know." Me: "You're going through everything in the house, aren't you?" She seemed to be attracted by something, and skipped this topic: "...window...outside the window...someone..." I opened my mouth, thought for a while and decided to continue waiting. She hesitated for a while: "...someone is outside... I pulled away... pulled away...I saw...in the distance...in the distance..." I couldn't help interrupting her repetition: "What's in the distance?" She: "People... are far away..." Me: "Can you see what that person looks like?" She: "I can't see clearly...just...the outline..." Me: "Where are you?" She: "In front of the window..." Me: "What was that just opened?" Her: "The curtains..." Me: "You didn't draw the curtains before, did you?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Is it dark or bright outside the window?" Her: "Black... dark..." Me: "Have you turned on the light?" Her: "No..." Me: "It's dark in the room too, isn't it?" Her: "Yes...but that...people can see me..." Why do I?" She: "He has...a pair of eyes...big and bright...he's...looking at me..." Me: "Is he far away from you? Can you see him clearly?" She: "It's far away...I...can't see...only half...half..." Me: "You can only see half of his body, can't you?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "Now you..." She interrupted me suddenly: "No...don't, stop..." Me: "What happened?" Her: "I...don't know...he...I don't want to, but I have to...I can't see..." This surprised me somewhat, because the hint I gave her was that she could clearly see what happened at that time, but since just now, she has shown a state of not fully accepting the hint.So I decided to repeat: "You will see, you will see what happened." "I..." She was hesitating, "I... saw... I..." I waited patiently for her self-guidance. She: "I...he is staring at me...staring at me...I don't know...I can't see clearly...that is...that is..." Her condition suddenly became very bad, There seems to be some resistance. Me: "Is that person still looking at you?" She suddenly became in a state of rapidly alternating between two completely different emotions and voices: one seemed to be desperately resisting something, and the other was a lewd moan. I was startled at first, and then I looked back at my partner, who motioned me to end the hypnosis. Me: "Relax, it was just a dream, you will wake up soon. When I count to '3', you will wake up." "1." The room was filled with two opposing voices, but they were hers alone, alternating every few seconds. "2." She finally stopped the alternation of emotions similar to split personality, and began to breathe rapidly. "3." She twitched and opened her eyes.At this time, her clothes and hair had been messed up by herself, and her cheeks were flushed with the characteristic flush of a woman's sexual excitement. Before I could speak, she frowned first, then took a quick look around the room, rushed to the trash can, and vomited profusely. After seeing her off, the partner returned to the hypnosis room. Me: "Why do I feel that hypnosis failed?" Partner: "But it was normal at first." Me: "Except for the beginning part, she almost didn't accept my hints at all later, as if she was proceeding according to her own pattern." The partner frowned tightly: "Yes, I noticed this too." Me: "Do you want to try again tomorrow?" The partner frowned and sat on the sofa: "Wait a minute, I think there is still a little gain. Judging from the vomiting, she seems to be sexually assaulted..." Me: "Well, I think so too." Partner: "But the problem lies in her reaction at the end—it seems that there is another side of enjoyment while resisting? I still can't understand this for the time being." Me: "Indeed, that kind of rapid alternation of emotions is very rare, and it seems to have a tendency to schizophrenia...By the way, is the camera normal?" Partner: "Normal, there is no problem at all." Me: "So, it's not contact of the third kind?" The partner smiled: "Of course not... Don't you think that what she described during hypnosis is very different from what she described when she was awake?" Me: "That's right, I noticed." Partner: "It seems that this is not entirely caused by memory distortion." Me: "Let's compare it. I think following this may filter out the problem." The partner pointed to his forehead: "I have already done the comparison." Me: "...well, what's there?" Partner: "At first she heard someone calling herself, which was consistent, and there was no discrepancy. However, during the hypnosis, she did not mention the questions about 'there is light covering her' and 'looking down', but added 'someone outside the window' And 'open the curtain'. However, she didn't say how she knew there was someone outside the window. Heard? Feel? Or was there always someone outside the window? And she didn't explain clearly: open the curtain by herself." Me: "She mentioned it, but it was vague." Partner: "Yeah, I mean she didn't make it clear, she only admitted it after you asked, I think she was trying to blur the question." Why do I?" Partner: "During the hypnosis just now, the hint you gave was very clear, and I'm sure she received it. But the problem is that she seems to have resisted emotions and has been fighting... I'm not sure about this, and I will watch the video again later. " Me: "Did someone put anti-hypnotic suggestion on her?" Partner: "No, it is unlikely to be an anti-hypnotic suggestion imposed by a third party. It should be a spontaneous resistance." I wrote it down in my notebook: "Well, continue." Partner: "I've been expecting her to describe the 'big eyes' during hypnosis, but it's strange that her description of 'big eyes' is also very vague, not even as clear as when she talked with me. " Me: "I also noticed this, could it be that some specific points in the memory were covered up by something?" Partner: "Theoretically, it's impossible, because things that can be remembered clearly in a waking state should be clearer in a hypnotic state, and shouldn't become blurred in a hypnotic state. This doesn't make sense." Me: "By the way, I remembered something: when she described the 'big eyes' to you, she said it was a bit like an owl, but through hypnosis, she said that she could not see the 'big eyes' clearly, but could only see half of her body. Very reasonable." Partner: "Huh? Tell me." Me: "Big eyes, plus you can only see the upper body, isn't it a bit like an owl squatting on a branch?" After thinking about it for a while, the partner nodded: "Well, it does make sense. In other words, the blurred image of a halfling with big eyes was transformed into a clear image in her memory - an owl. Her Memory makes whole broken impressions." Me: "Right?" Partner: "Well, you're right...but what I don't understand is, is the 'big eyes' really close to her? When she described it, she said that the 'big eyes' were close to her and staring at her. However, what she described through hypnosis jumped directly to the rapid alternating reaction we were talking about, and a lot of links were missing in the middle-the 'big eyes' did not look close to her, and she did not have the fear that she showed when she was awake. This is very strange. Strange, don't you think?" Me: "Well, it's not even a single star that's missing." The partner frowned: "I think... maybe that's the key." Me: "Could it be that she was really sexually assaulted? Like being drugged?" Partner: "I've thought about this too. From the description, it seems that she is single, and there is no mention of having a husband or boyfriend... Although it may be the situation you mentioned, I think the probability is very small. You see, she has no I mentioned the traces and feelings of sexual assault, right? If there is a sexual assault, it stands to reason that there should be various signs. Since she has not suspected it, it proves that there are no traces, which means that the possibility of sexual assault can be Ignore it." Me: "Well...that's right." Partner: "I'll go through the conclusions of the comparison so we can determine which descriptions are more believable." I nodded for him to continue. The partner stood up from the sofa and wandered back and forth in the room: "First of all, it is certain that she got up in the middle of the night, but the fact that she was awakened by a certain voice has yet to be confirmed. As for the light that enveloped her and the overlooking Indeterminate, 'Big Eyes' is also indeterminate..." Me: "Wait! Why can't you be sure about 'big eyes'? I think she mentioned it in both description and hypnosis, so 'big eyes' should exist objectively, right?" The partner stopped: "I don't think so, her description of 'big eyes' looks clear, but it's actually very vague, neither what 'big eyes' looks like, nor 'big eyes' What has been done to her, it is not even sure whether the 'big eyes' has had close contact with her, so I think the 'big eyes' is only a conceptual existence and cannot be determined." Me: "Conceptual existence... you mean: 'big eyes' is actually probably just some kind of misplaced memory from her, not the night of the incident?" Partner: "Yes, 'Big Eyes' should be her memory integration image." Me: "Uh... this... I'm not so sure. But you have a point, any more?" Partner: "And that's the point—the part she skipped over. When talking to me, she mentioned that there was a sound, but she only emphasized that it was a bad sound, without explaining what it was. And in In the hypnotic state, her struggling and moaning...she should be referring to this voice." Me: "Well, it's hard to say. I guess she knew it was her moan when she described it." Partner: "Exactly. So, initially she didn't talk about the issue, and jumped to the 'big eyes' staring at her. However, this impressive event, she didn't even think about it under hypnosis. I mentioned it, but jumped directly to her final reaction. So I think: what happened to her and what caused that reaction is the key point." Me: "Why do I think it's the most important thing to understand 'big eyes'?" The partner frowned: "You may be right, but my intuition that 'big eyes' doesn't seem to be that important...give me one night, and I'll tell you why tomorrow." I raised my hand and glanced at my watch: "What time do you ask her to come tomorrow?" Partner: "Afternoon." Me: "If you are still not sure tomorrow, should you inform her to postpone it?" The partner squinted his eyes and thought for a while: "I'm 90% sure I can tell you tomorrow." the next day. When my partner entered the door, I glanced at the time, it was almost noon.I noticed that his eyes were bloodshot, but he looked very excited.I guess he drank a lot of coffee. Me: "Stay up late?" The partner threw down his jacket and stretched his waist: "I didn't sleep until early in the morning, but I know her problem... Do you want to know?" He blinked slyly as he said. Looking at his complacent look, I knew he had already figured it out: "This question pattern, and the expression...won't you let me invite you to lunch again?" He smiled shamelessly: "That's right." Me: "Let's talk first." The partner made his neck click and picked up the water glass: "It's not too complicated, but because there is too little information, I went around a lot. But in comparison, the most troublesome thing for me is how to solve her this problem." I froze for a moment: "You mean you've even thought of a solution?" The partner nodded while holding the cup, and grinned. Me: "What if you are wrong? Wouldn't it be a waste of thought?" Partner: "Let's listen to it first." As he said that, he began to walk slowly in the room, "Through yesterday's contact and hypnosis, we know a few things, right? She woke up at night, but said no Whether Qing is dreaming or awake, I think it should be her sleepwalking." Me: "Well... I also thought of this last night, but people who sleepwalk are not aware of their own sleepwalking." Partner: "Yes, of course she didn't realize it, and I didn't say that she remembered her sleepwalking, what she remembered was her dream." Me: "Understood, continue." Partner: "First of all, she is sleepwalking, but it is just ordinary sleepwalking, not a third-type contact. We all know that sleepwalking mostly happens to children, and it is not common in adults. The reason why she sleepwalks is because because……" Me: "Stress." Partner: "'Ding Dong'! This is it." Me: "You said she was stressed?" Partner: "Yes." Me: "Can you explain?" Partner: "Her clothes show that her income should be quite good. And she looks pretty, don't you think? Listening to her description yesterday, there is no sign that she is married or has a regular boyfriend. High salary, single, In her 30s, apart from work, her age must be one of the pressures." Me: "You mean marriage?" Partner: "Well, yes. Maybe marriage is not that important for men, but it is very, very important for women. So I said, part of her pressure comes from this. Although I talked to her for a short time yesterday , but it can be seen that she is a person with strong self-discipline. This can be recognized through the calmness of her eyes, self-confidence, and the rigor of her words. But we all know that the more such a person, the inner What's repressed deep down is more explosive. So the pressure, combined with her personality, caused what we saw." I nodded: "You mean her release method is sleepwalking." Partner: "No, it's not just sleepwalking." He put down his water glass and looked at me meaningfully, "I said yesterday that what happened to her and what caused that reaction is the key." I was confused by what he said, so I didn't say anything, just looked at him. Partner: "Her sleepwalking itself is just a way to release stress, and the behavior she does in the sleepwalking state is the release. As for what she does in sleepwalking... Just look at her amazingly fast alternating reactions. " Me: "Didn't you mean that she was..." Partner: "That's all I want to say, she's masturbating." Me: "Uh... this is a bit beyond my expectation..." The partner leaned on the table with folded arms: "Actually, sleepwalking masturbation can no longer release her suppressed emotions, so her performance is more extreme-the key point is that I have been puzzled 'big eyes'." Me: "Can't you finish talking quickly?" The partner smiled: "I said yesterday that I think 'big eyes' is just a conceptual existence. And when I watched her video several times at night, I confirmed this - 'big eyes' did come from her Memory—should someone spy on the place where she lives, such as the upstairs opposite? The tool used is a telescope. That is the prototype of 'big eyes'." Me: "The big eyes...can only see half of the body...it's possible." Partner: "Although she hates that kind of snooping behavior, that snooping itself gave her another element needed for release: being spied on. So far, the necessary elements are all in place, and the string is: her self-restraint, Self-stressed to a certain extreme, it has to be released through contortion—sleepwalking—masturbation—for voyeurs.” I was stunned for a while before I fully understood his train of thought: "Does she have exhibitionism?" Partner: "No, no, she is not a real exhibitionist. The objects she exposes are just imaginary based on her memory. In fact, she did not show her masturbation process to anyone. Her self-restraint and ego The constraints don't allow her to do that." I took a deep breath: "It looks... It's hard for me to imagine that she would do this, at least... Well, I can't accept that such a dignified woman would do this." Partner: "It's normal that you don't accept this, because in fact she is not a slutty or perverted woman, and she doesn't even accept what she does-even in her dreams. Way to behave: the aliens controlled her behavior and consciousness, and it was carried out under the surveillance of the aliens. But even so, she couldn't accept it-remember her rapid emotional alternation? Enjoying and resisting at the same time, that It also stems from her self-struggle." Me: "According to this statement, 'big eyes' actually has a dual nature, it is not only one of the release elements, but also one of the exemption elements." Partner: "Exactly." Me: "Is her resistance just a gesture? We all know that some women occasionally have sexual fantasies about being raped." Partner: "I know this, but I can be sure that she will never have sexual fantasies of being raped, and the resistance she made is not an act, but real. Because when the hypnosis ends, her physiological reaction is to vomit." Me: "Well... But, I don't understand why she uses this method to relieve stress?" Partner: "It depends on what kind of environmental factors cause the pressure. No man-made thing is simple, and no motive is pure. Based on what I know so far, I have no way to speculate that she I can only ask her what kind of pressure she is facing. However, based on her description, I can still deduce some. Otherwise, I cannot have a solution." Me: "I'm going to ask you this, before that, let me tell you what you inferred based on your observation of her." Partner: "Let's talk to her again, there will definitely be corrections." Me: "What time did you tell her to come yesterday?" Partner: "1 o'clock in the afternoon, she will definitely be on time." Sure enough, she came to the appointment on time, and she seemed to be the same as her partner, and she didn't sleep well—a trace of fatigue was revealed under the delicate light makeup on her face. Partner: "Didn't sleep well? Didn't that happen again?" She made a smiling expression: "No, I just didn't sleep well. Let's continue? Do you want to hypnotize?" Partner: "Wait a minute, I want to know more about other situations, otherwise I will go directly to the hypnosis room instead of the study room." "Yeah." She nodded. Partner: "There may be some issues that are personal, and I can assure you that the content of our conversation will not be..." She interrupted him calmly: "Needless to say these, your profession requires you to ask some questions about privacy, I can understand, you can ask." The partner smiled: "Very well, uh, so, are you single?" Her: "Yes." Partner: "Are you single or divorced?" Her: "Divorced." Partner: "What's the reason?" She stopped, and sighed softly: "We are all so busy that we often don't see each other, and the relationship is getting weaker and weaker, and finally...that's it." Partner: "Is it because the relationship between you and your ex-husband is not very stable? It seems a bit offensive for me to ask this question. You don't need to answer this question." Her expression was very calm: "No, no offense, you're right. We don't have a deep relationship at all. If we say it's marriage, it's better to say that we're just pretending." Partner: "How long ago?" Her: "Four years ago." Partner: "What is your occupation?" She: "The evaluation and approval of venture capital often fly around." Partner: "Is the income high?" She: "So the price is high." Partner: "Do you usually read books?" Her: "Look." Partner: "Have you seen much?" She: "Well... I don't know what is too much, but I don't watch TV, except for looking up necessary information, I basically don't surf the Internet. I usually read books in my spare time, such as when I am traveling." Partner: "Is there still time to do your hair?" She smiled: "How do you know?" The partner didn't answer her: "Didn't you find a boyfriend again?" She: "There is no suitable one around, and I don't want to find a colleague." Partner: "How is your relationship with your family?" She frowned slightly: "Well... so-so." Partner: "Is your last marriage related to them?" She said nothing, bit her lower lip and nodded. Partner: "Can you tell me? Of course, you can choose not to tell. The decision is yours." She took a deep breath and thought for a while: "I lied just now." Partner: "Which part?" She: "I said the divorce is because we are busy, but it's not." The partner remained silent. She took a deep breath again: "Marrying him was basically forced by his family. His family is very good and rich. You may think that my income is high, but his income is more than 10 times higher than mine... So... that's it." Partner: "Your ex-husband wants you to quit, right?" She nodded. Partner: "How long did that marriage last?" She smiled helplessly and shook her head: "One year. It's not even counted as maintenance, and it's almost been in the cold war." Partner: "So you have a bad relationship with your family, right?" She raised her head slightly, a trace of helplessness flashed in her eyes, it seemed that she was suppressing her sadness. Partner: "Are you still in touch with your family?" She quickly recovered her calm expression: "It's been better in the past year." The partner waited patiently for a while, and waited for her to calm down completely before speaking: "Have you ever had revengeful thoughts towards your family?" "Hmm..." She seemed a little surprised, and paused for a moment, "Yes. How do you know?" The partner smiled, but didn't answer her: "Let me guess your revenge method: just find a man who is inferior to you in every aspect and marry him. Right?" She nodded: "well, but, I quickly dismissed that idea, it's too ridiculous and childish." Partner: "So you switched to working your ass off?" She: "Yes... But I... I'm not that kind of strong woman. I just hope that they can respect me instead of treating me as a machine for the elderly, or a tool to satisfy someone's sexual desire." Partner: "You're right, but you're putting too much pressure on yourself." Her: "I know that..." Partner: "Okay, I've basically finished asking questions, and I'll tell you something alone. There will only be the two of us in this room." Her: "Yeah." Partner: "However, it is necessary to have a camera recording, can you accept this?" Her: "OK." My partner looked at me, I nodded, got up and turned on the camera, left the study and closed the door. They stayed in the study all afternoon, and for a while, she heard her crying.Not sobbing, but howling.The co-star, I guess, touched something deep in her heart. that night. Me: "Huh? Are you saying that her masturbation is actually revenge?" The partner stopped the chopsticks and raised his head: "Do you have to be so straightforward when I'm eating?" Me: "Ever since you sent her away, you've been secretive and rambling until now, but you just haven't said what's going on." The partner sighed: "Well... her parents made a mistake that most parents make." Me: "What?" Partner: "Take control of everything for her and tell her: 'This is for your own good.'" Me: "So?" Partner: "Out of her dissatisfaction with the failure of her marriage, she gradually formed a certain twisted state. If you describe it, it is such a psychological process: You say it is for my own good, but that man is only interested in my appearance. I am interested in my body, and I don’t know how to respect my choice at all—you use my body as a price in exchange, so that you have the capital to brag about, then I will retaliate with contempt for my body—masturbation is shown to be obscene peeping men watching." Me: "Oh... so it's like this... It's not about sexual desire, right?" Partner: "Yes." Me: "So, the struggle and resistance response is part of her self-esteem?" Partner: "Yes." Me: "This is different from what you said this morning, it's more complicated." Partner: "Well, when I was talking to her yesterday, I ignored the problems brought about by her family. I didn't ask a single word. It's my fault. It's too negligent." Me: "What about the other parts besides masturbation?" Partner: "The other parts are almost the same... By the way, there is another detail that I overlooked." Me: "What?" 搭档：“记得在催眠的时候她说在客厅找东西，对吧？并且说'我不是我'，其实那是她在作准备——作消除掉自我的准备，这样才能实施：把自己的身体当作发泄工具，用假想的暴露和真实的手淫来宣泄报复心理。” 我：“那她所说的'找东西'是指什么？” 搭档：“应该是在找她所期望的感情，那同时也是在作最后的挣扎，她企图制止自己这种行为。” 我：“嗯……还有别的吗？例如你没推测出来或者被忽略的部分？” 搭档：“基本没了，差不多就是这样了。哦，还有几个细节。她描述的时候说自己被笼罩在光里，后来跟她聊的时候，我发现那是她期望自己能够在工作中被瞩目，成为焦点，这个源于虚荣心，倒没什么大问题。至于她说'大眼睛'离她很近，那是她对自身行为扭曲的恐惧感，也不算重点，忽略了就忽略了。” 我：“这么说，基本都在你的意料之中，对吧？虽然有细节差异，但是方向上没错误。” 搭档重新拿起筷子，扬了扬眉：“当然。” 我：“先别忙着吃，告诉我你的解决办法。” 搭档：“我建议她找个男友……” 我：“滚，你绝不可能用那么低劣的建议打发她的。” 搭档咧开嘴笑了：“现在还不知道有没有效果呢，所以我只让她付了一半费用，半年后如果没问题，再付另一半。” 我愣了一下：“……你……好吧，能用钱来做赌注，证明你有十足的把握。” 搭档：“不，只有一半多点儿的把握，因为我没这么做过，但我总得试试。” 我叹了口气，埋头吃饭，没再吭声。 大约两三个月后，有一天我独自在诊所的时候，她来了，专门来付清余下费用。 虚假地推辞了一下后，我好奇地问她，那天下午搭档到底对她说了些什么。 她告诉我，搭档问她喜欢不喜欢养植物。得到肯定的答案后，搭档建议她养很多植物，非常非常多，布置得整个客厅都是。当她出差的时候，就请人来照顾。 在最开始一个多月并没什么特别的，但近一段时间，每当她觉得很累的时候，就会梦到自己去了一个花园，坐在那些花草树木中感受着那份安静却蓬勃的生机。之后，她的心情和状态就会飞快地好起来。 我问她为什么。 她眼里闪着奇异的光芒：“你知道吗，那是我的花园。”