Chapter 5 04 half face

"...Okay, I see. I'll send it to your email when I get back tonight." The middle-aged woman hung up the phone and looked at us with a little apology. "Sorry, it was the company's call just now." The partner nodded: "It's okay, let's continue?" Her: "Okay. Where did you just say?" Partner: "Speaking of the day before yesterday, you had that dream again, but you were so frightened that you couldn't fall asleep. You kept your eyes open and waited until dawn." She: "Oh, yes. Later, when I called my husband, I mentioned it. He said that it was caused by my too much work pressure."

Partner: "Did you remember the content of the dream this time?" She: "I don't remember much, I just remember it was scary, I was running away. But I remember one thing, it seems that the dreams that keep me awake are all the same, but not the same." The partner showed a confused expression: "I didn't understand." She: "That is to say, I have seen that occasion in a dream before, and I know what to do to escape, but running and running is new, I don't know what to do, and then...then I can't remember, but it was pretty scary anyway."

Partner: "The content is cohesive?" She: "Not exactly, there are repetitions." Partner: "I understand, you mean, every time you can dream the second half of the last nightmare, and then continue, right?" She nodded: "Well, that's about it." Partner: "So, you know exactly what's going to happen, and you know what to do." Her: "Yes, that's right." Partner: "But after that, it's something you never dreamed about, and you don't know what to do." She kept nodding: "Yes, that's right! Later, because I didn't know what to do, I seemed to be caught by something, and then I woke up in fright."

Partner: "I see. The nightmare you mentioned is actually a very long nightmare, but you can only dream one part of it each time. It's a bit like walking a maze. Whenever you go wrong, When you enter a dead end, you wake up, and start over from a certain point next time. Your problem is that you can’t get out of this maze, and it goes round and round. Right?” She breathed a sigh of relief: "yes, it's better for you to make it clear. I haven't explained exactly what's going on." Partner: "Is it because something grabs you every time that wakes you up?"

She: "Uh... I can't say this well. I wanted to tell you the last time I came here, but I can't remember what happened..." At this time, the mobile phone in her bag rang again. coming. The partner stood up: "You answer the phone first, let's get ready, and you can hypnotize after you answer the phone." The middle-aged woman nodded perfunctorily, and took out her mobile phone from her bag. After closing the door of the observation room, I looked at my partner: "It seems like some kind of pressure." The partner is busy installing batteries for the camera: "Well, it looks like it is, but I don't know exactly."

Me: "When was the last time she came? What have you learned?" Partner: "About 5 days ago? Yes, it was last Wednesday. I didn't say anything specific about that time, because she didn't remember anything, but she remembered that she woke up in shock and cried when she told me. You weren't there that day , I learned about her living environment and family situation." Me: "Huh? You mean, she just came here because she had a nightmare?" Partner: "Not exactly, every time after having that kind of dream, she has an inexplicable sense of great pressure."

Me: "So?" Partner: "Her company has a psychiatrist every two weeks, and she told the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist recommended her to try hypnosis, and then..." I nodded: "Then what kind of great pressure did she describe?" Partner: "She couldn't explain it clearly, so I didn't understand it. It seemed that there was something unreliable. At first I thought it was because she was worried about her husband or children, but after talking about it, I found out that it was not." Me: "Is it a family problem?" Partner: "According to my observation, it shouldn't be. Her husband works in other cities all year round. According to her description, he is the kind of careless person. Their children go to college in another city, and she often lives alone. But , because she is very busy with work, so her life is quite fulfilling. Although she is a bit too busy, it is generally okay."

Through the glass door, I saw that the middle-aged woman in the hypnosis room had finished answering the phone and was putting the phone in her bag: "Later on hypnosis, let's reproduce her dream from the day before yesterday. At least we have a clue." The partner picked up the camera tripod: "Well, if there is something important, I will remind you." She: "Do I have to turn off the phone? Is it okay to set it to vibration mode?" I looked into her eyes seriously, showing my persistence: "It must be turned off, otherwise there is no way to hypnotize."

She: "But, what if the company asks me for something important?" I got up and walked behind the camera, pretending to turn off the camera: "Then come back when you are sure there is nothing important?" She hesitated and glanced at her partner, who shrugged at her, expressing helplessness. The middle-aged woman took out her mobile phone from her bag, held it in her hand for a while, and then turned off the mobile phone as if she had made up her mind. We sat back in our respective positions. I glanced at the bag next to her, and stretched out my hand: "Give me the bag, I'll put it on that chair over there." I pointed to a chair by the window.

She seemed a little reluctant, but handed it over anyway. I took the bag and put it aside, and comforted her: "Your phone has been turned off, so there is nothing more important now, unless you don't use hypnosis today, and you go back and continue to be troubled by that nightmare." It seemed that my emphasis and reassurance were very effective. She quickly said that she didn't have any thoughts, and then sat obediently on the big sofa used for hypnosis. Me: "Very good, if you feel more comfortable lying down, you can lie down." She: "No, this is enough."

Me: "Very well, relax your body, let your body slump on the sofa as much as possible, so that you can breathe smoothly." She took a deep breath and her body began to relax. Me: "Relax, relax, and calm your breathing..." "You will feel that your eyelids start to become heavy..." "Very good... close your eyes slowly..." "Your body is so heavy that you can barely move..." "But you feel warm..." "Very comfortable..." "Right now, you're lying on your own bed, it's soft..." "very good……" "When I count to '1', you will return to that dream and tell me everything you saw..." "3...you see that light in front of you..." "2...you slowly walked towards that beam of light..." "1……" "You are in your dream right now, tell me, what do you see?" I looked up at my partner, who clenched his hands into fists and put them to his mouth, as if he was listening carefully. Her: "I... I'm on a street..." Me: "Do you know this place?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "What is this place?" She: "This is... This is the place where my husband and I have been..." Me: "Do you know where it is?" Her: "No... Dingham." Me: "Are you alone?" She: "No, there are...someone on the street..." Me: "Is your husband by your side?" Her: "No, only me..." Me: "Do you know everyone on the street?" Her body twitched slightly: "They... are not human..." Me: "Then can you see what they are?" She seemed slightly disturbed, but not strongly: "No, no...they're not human..." I waited patiently. Her: "They are all monsters..." Me: "What kind of monster?" Her: "Some...some have no heads...others...just one big eye on their faces..." Me: "Are there no other facial features?" Her: "Yes." Me: "What are you doing on this street?" Her: "I'm... what am I looking for..." Me: "What are you looking for?" Her: "I forgot... I was looking for... I couldn't find it..." I wanted to ask her if she was looking for her husband, but she opened her mouth and stopped, because I didn't want any directional inducement. Me: "Have you lost something?" Her expression looked a little confused: "I also... don't know... I don't know what I am, what I am looking for..." Me: "Those people on the street... monsters, didn't they notice you?" Her: "Yes... yes." Me: "Do they scare you?" She: "No, they...are not scary, what's scary is...the one who can see me." Me: "What kind of..." Suddenly, she interrupted me: "Here we come!" Me: "What's coming?" She: "He's here! He saw me!" Me: "Who saw you?" Her: "That monster! He's coming! He saw me!" Me: "Is he chasing you?" Her body began to tense: "I'm chasing me...follow me!" Me: "That monster only follows you?" Her: "... yes..." Me: "Did he do something to you?" She: "No... After I found him, I started to run away..." Why do I?" She: "Because... he... only has half a face..." Me: "Are you running away?" Her: "I'm running...I can't run...I'm slow..." I stopped asking any questions and waited for her to describe herself.At the same time, I was still observing her physical reaction, lest she get too emotional and hurt herself, or break the hypnosis and wake up by herself. She: "He's getting closer...I can't run anymore...I know this road, this road! Can't turn right, can't turn right, turning right is a dead end, I will be caught...Turn left , turn left! God, he's coming, I want to hide! I want to hide! He can see me wherever I hide, his face! His face! Half face! I'm so scared! " I looked up at my partner and saw that he raised a hand at this moment, but did not extend a finger, as if waiting. He is judging the moment. Her limbs moved more and more: "My God! His face is coming! He's about to grab me, save me, come and save me! I don't want this!" It seemed to me that something was wrong, it looked like she could break the hypnosis and wake up at any time. She: "Help! He's got me! He's got me!" She said, waving her hands frantically in the air, as if resisting a creature we couldn't see. The partner stood up and held out a finger. I rushed up, tried my best to hold her arms, and ended the hypnosis as quickly as possible with a calm voice: "Listen to me! Listen to my instructions! When I count to '3', you will wake up, this is Just a dream! 1! 2! 3!" She opened her eyes, but still kept waving her arms, shouting hoarsely: "Go away! Go away! Don't! Let me go!" For a full minute, my partner and I almost kept reminding her: "Don't worry, it's not a dream, you've woken up, you've woken up, stop, relax!" Finally, she listened to it, looked at the two of us in a daze, and then her whole body relaxed. Me: "Don't worry, it's all right now, it's just a dream." After I finished speaking, I raised my head to signal my partner to let go of her. Panting, the middle-aged woman slowly lowered her hands, stared blankly at the front for a while, then raised her head helplessly: "I want to drink water." I nod. After seeing her off, I went back to the hypnosis room, and my partner was sitting cross-legged where she had been sitting just now, with his fingers crossed and his head tilted. After I opened all the curtains one by one, I got myself a glass of water: "It was almost interrupted just now." Partner: "Yeah." Me: "Did you catch something?" Seen from behind, the partner looks like a child with his head tilted, while muttering, "I was thinking about..." Me: "Most nightmares are enough to kill all horror film writers and directors." The partner didn't seem to be listening to me: "Well... no head, just one big eye... half a face... what does that mean?" I sat in the hypnosis position without saying a word, and looked at him for a while: "Do you want to go to the study?" My partner recovered and looked at me for a while: "No, it's right here. Let's sort out all the clues, shall we?" I nod. Partner: "It's location first, right? I think there's a reason why her series of horrific dreams is set in Nottingham, England." Me: "Well, maybe something happened in Nottingham." Partner: "The looks of those people on the street undoubtedly have specific meanings. The headless ones are the first type, the ones with a head but only one big eye are the second type, and the third type is the 'half-faced man' chasing her .” Me: "I didn't have much chance to ask just now, I'm a little curious, does that 'half-faced man' have only the upper half of the face, the lower half of the face, or only the left and right half of the face?" The partner thought for a while: "I speculate that the 'half face' she mentioned should mean only the left or right half of the face." Me: "Why?" Partner: "If there's only the top half of the face, it's usually described as 'no mouth', right? If there's only the bottom half of the face, we're used to saying 'no eyes' instead of 'half face'. " Me: "Well, it should be what you said... But even if this can be deduced, it seems that we still have no clues. Because after recreating her dream, she repeatedly emphasized only the characters, did not explain the scene, and did not There were other elements mentioned." Partner: "I noticed that too." Me: "Also, what she said she was looking for is also an important clue-although we still don't know what it is. Did she lose something in Nottingham?" Partner: "I have to ask her personally, but I think it should be more abstract..." Me: "You mean she just used 'find' instead of throwing things away?" Partner: "Well, the subconscious often expresses certain things in dreams in this way." Me: "Have you found any more?" Partner: "There is another one that I think is very important, and it has nothing to do with hypnosis or not." Me: "Hypnotized or not? Uh... what is that?" Partner: "It seems that she has communication device dependence?" Me: "Well, yes." Partner: "If you look at it comprehensively... I can't say that well, but I just feel that there is something wrong." Me: "Could it really be the pressure from work as her husband said? Don't you think she is very busy? She doesn't even want to turn off the phone during hypnosis." Partner: "Well, this is where I feel like something is wrong. Let me think about it...reliance on communication...hectic work...nightmares...there's nothing weird about nightmares, but they're often the same kind of nightmares...so , I can be sure that it is caused by some kind of pressure..." Me: "Well, stress for unknown reasons." The partner frowned: "Maybe...that's actually..." Me: "What?" The partner looked up: "I think... I know!" I waited in silence. The partner frowned and seemed to be clearing his mind: "The pressure she showed is actually transferring another kind of pressure." I thought about this sentence carefully: "How to explain?" The partner let go of her crossed legs, put on her shoes and stood up: "The busyness and stress she showed is not real." Me: "Huh? No way? We all saw that she was very busy. She answered two calls just after she arrived, and she was still on the phone when she entered the door." Partner: "No no, think about it, that's not busy." Me: "What do you mean? Is she pretending to answer the phone?" The partner smiled: "Of course not. Today is Monday, during working hours. It's normal to have a call from work to find her. She uses working hours to run out. Do you think she will be very busy?" Me: "So that's the case...but why did she do this?" Partner: "We have to 'read' her dreams." With his hands in his trouser pockets, he walked back and forth in the hypnosis room, "Why Nottingham was chosen as the scene, although we still have no way of knowing, but I can be sure she She experienced something extremely important to her there. Let's put that aside and talk about other things." Me: "OK." Partner: "'Headless people' are rare in dreams, right? Because headless people have no facial features and expressions, if you say that, 'Headless people' probably didn't appear in her dreams. It doesn’t represent people, it should be a symbol.” Me: "What does it symbolize? Huh? You mean the description about flies?" Partner: "It's possible! We often describe being busy without a clue as 'crawling around like a headless chicken'." Me: "Well, this makes sense, but it's a bit far-fetched." Partner: "Not necessarily. Have you forgotten? 'Headless Man' has never had an intersection with her. 'Headless Man' should be a concept, her view on something, maybe directly related to herself. It may even involve her present state. Since it is some kind of symbol of her present, then of course she need not be afraid of it, as you confirmed during the hypnosis." I nodded: "Yes, I thought she would have a sense of fear." Partner: "So, it's likely that 'headless man' is referring to some of her views." Me: "Uh... well, there is no way to confirm for the time being, let's not argue and continue. What about the 'one-eyed man'?" Partner: "'One-Eyed Man' is different, they're clearly more symbolic than 'Headless Man'." Me: "Does huge eyes mean staring?" Partner: "Theoretically, but she didn't mention it, so I think 'one-eyed man' is probably censoring." Me: "Scrutinize? Oh, I see, to examine herself in a dream... But why does she examine herself in this way?" The partner stopped and looked at me: "I guess, that one-eyed person might have a special meaning to her. But, until I get more information, I can't guess...Huh? Wait! You said she was looking at herself ?” Me: "Yeah, what's wrong?" He frowned and pressed his lower lip with his index finger, "I didn't expect this. Could it be..." I was stunned for a moment and then understood: "Uh...you didn't mean to say that, did you?" Partner: "But it probably is." Me: "If we put it this way, I'm afraid the 'Headless Man' will also have to be overthrown." Partner: "Not necessarily, it makes sense." Me: "Then, do we have to perform hypnosis again?" Partner: "Yes." Me: "Then what's the point this time?" Partner: "Induction." Me: "In which direction to induce?" Partner: "Let her follow the 'half-faced man'." Me: "Hey? Are you sure?" The partner smiled smugly: "Sure, we were misled. The 'half-faced person' is not 'he', but should be 'she'. I am 99% sure that all the 'monsters' in the dream are herself .” the next day. She: "Do you want another hypnosis?" Me: "Well, it's different this time, we hope you can overcome your fear and follow that 'half-faced man'." She seemed hesitant. I am afraid?" She nodded: "I remembered it when I watched the video just now, not only his face, but also his head is only half, the other half is empty, so..." Me: "It's just in a dream, we will give you hints when necessary. This is guaranteed." I deliberately used the first-person plural to appease her. She thought about it and nodded. "Don't worry." The partner added just right. During hypnosis, I have been paying attention to observing her state. Although she is the kind of person who can easily accept hints and enter the state, I must ensure that deep hypnosis is achieved, otherwise my hints will not be accepted by her.However, it turned out that my worries were unfounded, she was very relaxed and cooperative. Me: "Have you returned to Nottingham?" She took a deep breath and paused for a while: "Yes." Me: "What can you see?" She: "I saw... someone on the street..." Me: "Who are they?" Her: "Some...some headless people..." Me: "Is there any more?" Her: "And... there are some people with only one eye." Me: "Did they notice you?" She: "No... didn't notice me... Only that, that person will pay attention to me..." Me: "You mean the one with only half a head and half a face?" She: "Yes...." From her hesitation, I can see that she still has a sense of fear. Me: "Don't be afraid, you don't need to be afraid of anyone, we are protecting you." She: "I... I'm not afraid." Me: "Fine. Did she show up?" Her body began to tense: "No...but I know where she is..." Me: "Where is she?" She twitched slightly uneasy: "She is not far behind me..." Me: "I want you to turn your head and look at her calmly now. Move slowly and calmly, you don't have to be afraid of her." Her: "Okay... I... I'm not afraid of her..." Me: "Very good, you did it." Her: "Yes... I... I'm looking at her now." Me: "She's not grabbing you, is she?" She: "No... didn't come to catch me..." Me: "What is she doing now?" She looked confused: "She wants me to go with her." Me: "Follow her, we will protect you right behind you, follow her." She took a deep breath: "Okay...Okay." I stopped for a while on purpose: "Where are you now?" She: "A...a small street, I know this place..." Me: "What is this place?" She hesitated for a few seconds: "I'm... I lived here..." Me: "A long time ago?" Her: "Yes." Me: "When was that?" Her: "When I was in school..." Me: "She took you to the place where you used to live when you were studying, right?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Is it here?" Her: "In the room..." Me: "What's in the room?" She: "It's the same as before, exactly the same... nothing has changed..." Me: "What does she want you to do?" She: "Standing in front of the mirror..." Me: "You have to do what she says, there will be no danger, with us, do what she says." She took another deep breath: "Okay...do as she said..." At this time, the partner silently hugged his shoulders and stood up. Me: "Tell me you did it." Her: "Yes, I did..." Me: "Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" Her breathing began to become rapid: "Yes, yes." Me: "What did you see?" Her: "I...I..." I repeated the instruction: "Tell me, what did you see?" She: "I...I only have half a head, half a face..." Me: "What is she doing now?" Although her breathing became more and more rapid, there was no strong reaction from her body, and I knew that so far, everything was still under control. She: "She... stood behind me..." "Standing behind you?" I didn't react a bit. My partner frowned, thought for a moment, and then kept showing me how I looked in the mirror. I see. Me: "Tell me, what do you see in the mirror now?" She suddenly calmed down: "We have synthesized a complete head...a complete face..." I nodded to my partner, ready to end the hypnosis: "Very good, you are about to wake up." Her: "I... woke up..." Me: "When you wake up, you'll remember everything you just said." She: "I...will remember..." Me: "When I count to '3', you wake up and feel good and light." Her: "I will be comfortable... I will be relaxed..." Me: "Very good. 1...2...3!" She slowly opened her eyes, stared at the floor in front of the sofa for a while, then raised her head to look at me. I saw tears welling in her eyes. My partner came over and gestured to me, and I got up and asked him to sit in front of the middle-aged woman.He leaned forward slightly, looking into her eyes. Her: "I..." Partner: "She's not here to get you, is she?" She nodded with tears in her eyes. Partner: "You understand now?" She still nodded. Partner: "Do you want a drink?" She smiled and shook her head. The partner handed over the tissue in his hand: "Okay, now you can tell us, besides going to school, what else happened when you were in Nottingham?" She took the tissue and held it in her hand, took a deep breath and then let it out, while restraining her emotions: "When I was in Nottingham with my husband, I found out that I was pregnant." Partner: "Your son?" She: "Well, we were all a little surprised at the time." Partner: "When you were in school?" She: "No, it's a revisiting of the old place after one year of graduation." Partner: "You gave up a lot because of it, right?" Her: "Yes, how do you know?" The partner smiled: "My profession." Her: "I almost forgot about that, thank you." Partner: "Don't thank me in a hurry, let's sort it out one by one." "Okay." She looked calmer. Partner: "Although everything is fine with your current life, you're not happy with it, are you?" She: "Yes, I don't lack anything now. Although I can't be with my husband and son every day, they all care about me and love me very much. But, I feel that something is missing." Partner: "Lost in Nottingham?" She smiled: "Well, but I can only carry so much luggage." Partner: "Dreams are not luggage, nor are they cumbersome." She sighed: "You're right, I'm too useless, I only understand now." Partner: "Actually, you haven't lost anything. Although you got married and had children, and gave up a lot of things for this, some things didn't leave." She: "But, I'm worried that they will think that I..." Partner: "Look, you have nothing to worry about now, and your child is grown up, so you don't need much care. What you're really worried about is losing the self-confidence you had before." She: "It's a bit... I'm already this old... Well, you're right, my confidence is gone." Partner: "Which college did you go to?" Her: "Art." Partner: "Specialize?" Her: "Painting." Partner: "Did you draw it later?" She: "No...oh, no, twice." Partner: "When?" She: "One time I saw my husband holding my son's hand and teaching him to walk. I thought it was very interesting, so I drew a sketch. My husband liked that picture very much, and specially framed it. It is still on display now. On the desk in his office. The other time was when my son just finished the college entrance examination, he sat by the window and stared out in a daze, he looked very handsome! At that time, I felt very moved, so I drew another sketch.” Partner: "Did he read it?" She looked slightly satisfied: "He was so surprised and asked me why I haven't shown it for so many years." Partner: "He's right, why didn't you draw again?" She: "I'm at this age, and I still draw... How embarrassing." Partner: "What does age have to do with it? And you know you're still craving that feeling, right?" She nodded: "Well, sometimes I feel that work is boring, but I'm too embarrassed to tell my husband that I don't work anymore. Although the family is not short of money, I am still busy with work all day long." Partner: "That's how those headless men in your dream came about." She: "Well, I'm busy with mindless and inexplicable things all day long..." Partner: "Okay, now, let's talk about your problem thoroughly. While you're well aware of this, I'm sure you don't understand why there is stress." Her: "OK." Partner: "Your pressure does not come from work, we all know this. Your pressure comes from yourself, or to put it further - from giving up on your dreams. You once hoped to be able to do what you like, And achieved something, but for the sake of your husband and children, you temporarily gave up that idea. Years later, when your husband's career stabilized and your children grew up, you gained a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but Because of this, you will feel uneasy instead—it seems that something is wrong. However, you can be sure of one thing. For you, there is nothing more important and worth protecting than what you have now .” She: "Well, I don't need to think about it to be sure." Partner: "But the more this happens, the more you feel that something is missing... I remember you said that the dream started about a year ago, right?" She: "Well, a little over a year." Partner: "Because a year ago you remembered the other direction you gave up at the beginning - it was in Nottingham, starting with pregnancy." Her: "Yes." Partner: "You have never regretted your decision, but... there is a little bit of regret. What you expressed in your dream is dissatisfaction with yourself. The scene in Nottingham was the place where you decided to change your future direction,' "Headless man" implies your self-denial of the current confused state, "one-eyed man"... I think, they must have a special meaning for you. As for the "half-faced man" you have been fearing and avoiding, it is actually you You, because you find yourself in the mirror is incomplete, what you lack is exactly what you gave up at the beginning. You are eager to face your dream again, but you feel that it seems that it is not big for your age and identity Appropriate. So, you try to keep yourself as busy as you can—but you know that's not what you really want, and you can't fill that void..." She interrupted her partner: "Stop talking, stop! You are right at all, it is true... But, what should I do?" The partner looked at her inexplicably: "What should I do? I don't understand, what are you restricted by? There is no frame or restriction around you, and you are very clear about how much you long for the dream you once had. Since this is the case, why do you still hesitate? Will your husband and children laugh at you because of this? I don't believe it. " At this moment, the expression on her face wavered. Partner: "Okay, can you tell me now, what special meaning does 'one-eyed man' have to you?" She froze for a while, then murmured: "'It is enough to observe the world with one eye, and use the other to see yourself more.'——This is what one of my favorite mentors said back then. " The partner leaned back on the chair easily: "Exactly." About 3 months later, we received a large wooden box that was nailed tightly.We had a hard time opening it.Inside is an oil painting. The tone of the picture is very full, with a sense of thickness unique to oil painting. In the painting, a man in a short windbreaker is leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street, flipping through a newspaper in his hand.The sun shines on the stone road at his feet. There are rows of small shops with black triangular roofs on the side of the road, and the glass windows reflect the sun.Farther away is a shimmering body of water that looks warm.The line of words in the lower left corner of the canvas is the title of this work: the attentive reader. The partner stared at it for a while, and after asking my permission, hung it up in the study. It is still there today.