Chapter 27 2.A person is afraid of death because he has not really experienced the value of life

Dealing with the fear of death is not an easy task.Let's first look at what methods people use and how they operate. I have summarized them into six types: finding balance, despising death, accepting death, religiousizing death, philosophizing death, and not being afraid of life. The classic saying of finding a balance is "killing one is enough, killing two is enough!" People usually like to play psychological competition most.If a person sees that others are doing better than himself, he feels uncomfortable. In his heart, he actually expects that this good person will be unlucky, so that he can find a psychological balance and allow himself to survive psychologically.

This trick can also be used to overcome the fear of death.The essence of finding balance is to carry over the psychological competition to the matter of death.After careful inspection, it has two ways of expression: The first one is that since everyone is equal in death and must die, whoever owns more things in society during his lifetime will have a higher value in coming to the world, and he will earn money if he compares them.If 2012 is really the end of the world, everyone will die together.As long as the rich think that compared with the poor, he has already possessed and enjoyed too much in this world, he will not feel too much regret in comparison. Compared with him, the poor come to this world, Not only did I not get anything, but I was squeezed out too much!

The second type, which is more extreme, is no longer competing with others in possessing more social things, but destroying more lives than anyone else.There are often pictures like this in TV movies: after the soldier A slashed down several enemies with a knife, he said without fear: "×××, come on, I have enough money!" Since A knows that he will definitely die, then , killing one person, death has gained balance; and killing two people, in his opinion, has earned it.This business is worth doing! A tortoise who doesn't have the courage to face life and death, likes to arm himself with spiritual victory and crazy material pursuits, such as Brother Q.For many people, finding "balance", which is a way to overcome the fear of death, is more in line with their spiritual structure and is very effective.But the problem is that it has a fatal weakness, that is, it is only suitable for use in situations where there is a real threat of death. After all, we are in an era where there is neither war nor continuous large-scale disasters. What Christianity said in 2012 and in the past The "Doomsday Judgment" is just a prophecy.

People are afraid of death, which means that people are at a psychological disadvantage in the face of death.So, if one can find a way to maintain a psychological advantage in the face of death, it seems that one can defeat it. Generally speaking, a person wants to maintain a psychological advantage in front of the person or thing he fears. There are several emotions that can be used: anger, hatred, and contempt.It is a characteristic of anger and hatred that a person concentrates his psychic energy on his designated object with the intention of destroying this object.But death is not a destructible entity, so anger and hatred have no effect.Then there is only contempt.Fortunately, contempt is different from anger and hostility. It just invests a person's psychological energy, the purpose is to show how noble, awesome, and courageous this person is, and to belittle the object of psychological energy investment, not to destroy it.

In overcoming the fear of death, the method of contempt can take two forms: one is that people mobilize their personal performances based on their emotions and fight alone.For example, when someone wants to take his own life, or when faced with death, he shows great contempt for the other party and death, or overcomes the other party psychologically, thus defeating death. A murderous man named Cheng Ruilong did just that.The most eye-catching thing about him is not the murder itself, but the image of "gentle and handsome" when he appeared in court for trial. Cheng Ruilong, a native of Lianzhou, Guangdong, was a Class A wanted criminal by the Ministry of Public Security and was sentenced to death in Foshan, Guangdong on November 2, 2010.This person had fled to many provinces and cities and killed people like hemp. After 13 years, he was not caught by the police until 2009.Not only men, women, children, but also 4 policemen died under his knife and gun.It is said that after he was arrested, his brother breathed a sigh of relief and said: "Finally no one will be killed anymore."

Although Cheng Ruilong's ruthless character may not be as good as Baibaoshan in Beijing in terms of psychological quality and viciousness, it is not too far behind.He also reminded us of Qiu Xinghua, Shi Yuejun and other murderous masters. Characters such as "murderer" and "cold-blooded killer" seem to us to be hideous, extremely cruel, and extremely wretched.We are terrified of such people.But as long as they are caught, as long as they are brought to court for trial, they have little psychological advantage.No matter how they roar in court, they are by no means strong in front of the powerful state machine.He wanted to show that he was not afraid of death by "contempt of the court", but it left people with the impression of dying and relentless.

Therefore, when a "cold-blooded killer" is put on trial, in order to defeat death, he either does not perform, admits the fact of the murder, shows that he dares to take responsibility, and ignores the existence of the public, and only wants to die quickly; or he does not show the "cold-blooded killer". "image, and dress themselves up as another race.Cheng Ruilong chose the latter. He is very clear that he has been interpreted as a hideous "murderer". In court, he will not only be severely punished by the law, but also spurned by the crowd of onlookers.And this also means that he no longer has a psychological advantage whether in the state apparatus or in the masses!

What is particularly important is that he has a "hero" complex, and thinks highly of himself, thinking that if he could serve as a soldier back then, he must be a hero.From the bottom of his heart, he looked down on Qiu Xinghua, Zheng Minsheng and other low-level or even wretched killers.If the public accuses him of cruelty and compares him with Qiu Xinghua and Zheng Minsheng, it will destroy his "self-identity" and it will be a nightmare for him. Therefore, to maintain his psychological advantage, Cheng Ruilong must resist this interpretation.To achieve this goal, it is necessary to subvert the image of the "killer madman" with language, expressions, and appearance packaging.In this media age, Cheng Ruilong knows very well what is called performance, what is called "public image", and how to use the media to shape this image.

In June 2009, when Cheng Ruicheng was escorted back to Foshan (he killed several policemen in Foshan), the public noticed from the media that he was haggard, dark-skinned, emaciated, and even a little bald , a typical image of an arrested murderer.However, when he appeared in court for the first time on January 8, 2010, an amazing scene appeared: he was fair-skinned, stylishly dressed, smiling, with neat hair, water mousse, and black-rimmed glasses. Talk eloquently.No matter in terms of appearance or language, he doesn't look like a "murderer" at all! This "transformation" has been carefully planned.First of all, after being arrested, he didn’t need to bask in the sun in the detention center. His skin became white and he didn’t need to apply any whitening cream. Then, it is said that he likes to eat beef brisket and barbecued pork, and he also designated the best and most expensive restaurant in Foshan City. It was more than 20 yuan, and he would not live long anyway. Out of "humane considerations", the police satisfied his request, so he gained weight; in addition, he asked the detention center to provide him with brand-new and fashionable sportswear, and asked his brother to give it to him. He sent black-rimmed glasses.Before appearing in court, that is, on the morning of January 8, 2010, he got up at 7 o'clock and spent a lot of time grooming himself, especially applying "water mousse" to his hair and styling it with a wooden comb.In this way, a "gentle handsome boy" was released.

Cheng Ruilong is not a fool, he knows he is dead.But in order to maintain a psychological edge in public and, through this kind of performance, allow himself to overcome his fear of death, he employs five strategies. ①Pretending to be relaxed, with a smile on his face, and honestly confessing some of his crimes. If a person is afraid of death, it cannot prove his psychological strength.The hard facts are still denied in court, which cannot explain how smart a person is, on the contrary, it can only give others the impression that he is afraid of death.Cheng Ruilong knew this, so he admitted painfully about his murder, and some details were revealed for the first time, showing that he dared to take responsibility.It's just that he still needs to take the initiative and raised objections to the determination of certain cases. He wants to use this kind of performance to convey the message: he can take responsibility for the consequences of his actions, but he is definitely not a passive People are masters of their own destiny.

②The idea of ​​proposing a mental illness identification may even be funny to Cheng Ruilong. Is he mentally ill?However, there are such provisions in the law, he must play this show.This is tantamount to showing the audience that he is by no means a low-level gangster or a vulgar criminal, but a person who is familiar with legal procedures and has a clear "consciousness of rights". ③Denying that he is "cruel" he has killed so many people, so he is obviously a "murderer".However, he argues that this is a complete public misunderstanding: "I only want to protect my own life. Everyone has only one life. I kill when my life is in danger. My own life is the biggest." He wants to emphasize that , he is just selfish, just to save his life.Although the excuse is invalid, because the fact is that he would not spare even a little girl who was in the second grade of junior high school, and he raped and killed her. "Psychopathy" means, but "self-preservation" can be "understood" in a sense, and it doesn't say how a person is psychologically. ④ Deconstructing the "cruel" image through external image packaging The public did not see the scene of Cheng Ruilong's murder with their own eyes, and the facts they learned were reported by the media.That is to say, Cheng Ruilong probably understands this point, that is, his image of "murderer" was told to the public by the media.That being the case, he can also use the media to let the public see what kind of image he is. As long as he appears as a "gentle and handsome boy", even if he can't subvert the public's perception of him as a "murderer" (after all, it is a fact) ), that is enough to cause a contrast between the visual image and the concept: Could such a "gentle and handsome boy" be a murderer?And in this way, Cheng Ruilong's goal will be achieved, as long as the public's judgment is disturbed, Cheng Ruilong will feel that he has manipulated everything, and he will gain a psychological advantage! ⑤ There is "politeness", reasonable Cheng Ruilong greeted the judge "Happy New Year" politely when he was on trial, which is completely different from many "murderers", which makes people feel very educated.At the same time, in the face of claims from the victim's family, he said that it is not an exaggeration for the family to raise any amount. However, he has been on the run for more than ten years, and he has no ability to pay compensation, not to mention hundreds of thousands, even thousands of yuan. No, I hope the family can understand.The confession was almost impeccable and felt reasonable. In an interview with reporters, Cheng Ruilong said that the reason why he was relaxed and natural was because he "put his life down".This is of course a lie, all of this is fake.However, precisely through the above five strategies, in the face of irresistible death, he maintained his contempt to the greatest extent, and also gained a psychological advantage in front of the audience! Another form of using contempt to deal with death is not to fight alone, but to invite a set of social rituals to help. On the evening of January 9, 2005, U.S. Marine Andres Raya came to a convenience store in Stanislaus County with a semi-automatic rifle, and then started a fierce battle with the police who arrived.A 39-year-old policeman was shot several times and died tragically at Raya's gunpoint.Another 50-year-old policeman was also shot multiple times, but survived.Afterwards, more police rushed to the scene upon hearing the noise, but Raya refused to surrender and started a shootout with them, and was finally shot dead by the police. Stanislaus County Police Officer Bill Heine, who is in charge of investigating the case, told the press: "From what the suspect (Raja) said at the scene (of the shootout), he just wanted to be killed." There was a lot of cocaine in Ya's blood.Coincidentally, when the California police were solving a middle school robbery, they once searched a videotape with Raya on it.He smokes marijuana while bragging about what he's done.In the video, it can also be seen that an American flag was cut into pieces and used to spell words cursing US President Bush. Bill Heine hit the nail on the head and described the facts accurately.It is conceivable that Raya must have experienced the purgatory of life and death in Iraq.Going back to Iraq to fight the war after vacation was a nightmare worse than death for him.When he had to do it as a soldier, he preferred to die. However, how to overcome the fear of death remains a problem.Suicide was not enough courage for him.There is only one solution: to die by a ritual.This ritual is the shootout.On the one hand, he opened fire on the police, symbolically he opened fire on the abstract system of state violence that forced him to go to Iraq; on the other hand, he can also be killed. Ritual is the escape from death.Individuals can use a set of rituals to die without fear.A group can also use a set of rituals to overcome the fear of death. There is a primitive tribe in Africa. Whenever the men go hunting, face the threat of wild animals, or fight against other tribes, there will be a set of witchcraft rituals before the expedition. The wizard dances and sings, and everyone cooperates according to the script. Performing, praying to the gods to give men strength and protection.And because of this ritual, men will no longer be afraid in the face of death, because he has the power of the tribe and the gods, and he goes out under the watchful eyes of the tribe and the gods.Death and opponents are enough to make him despise. Contempt for death, although psychologically motivated by a person's weakness of mind, is successful in overcoming the fear of death.But it also has regrettable flaws, that is, it needs to pay attention to a specific situation, and the time of occurrence and disappearance is also very fast, so it cannot become a norm.Therefore, in daily life, a person cannot escape the pursuit of the fear of death simply by scorning death. If A is bullied by B, he is very afraid of B, and cannot beat him, what should he do in order to gain a sense of security?One way is to accept B's bullying of oneself, and think that B's bullying of oneself is reasonable. This kind of thinking is "slave thinking".When slaves are oppressed and enslaved by slave owners, if resistance means only being slaughtered, and there is no other hope of success, then they must adopt another strategy.The usual approach is: let go of the idea of ​​resistance, and let yourself live physically; think that it is reasonable for you to be oppressed and enslaved, and live psychologically.Not wanting to die and being unable to resist the slave owner, these two points are obvious, but the slave system is considered unreasonable, that is a painful psychological torture, and most smart slaves would not choose this way. In the same way, if death is irresistible, then in order to overcome the fear of death, one can also surrender to it, which is to accept the fate of death.At this time, man is no longer an enemy of death, but recognizes it and shows closeness to it. A characteristic of a person who has accepted the fate of death is that his mind is peaceful.He has lost much interest in the frantic pursuit of material success and sensual pleasures.He also no longer blindly devotes himself to any social movement.He realized that all these things were clouds and vulnerable to death.Any struggle and confrontation is futile, what people have to do is to follow the nature and wait for the coming of death.With this psychological feature, there is a limiting condition, that is, a person must have touched death in his mind.Therefore, those who really use this method of acceptance to overcome the fear of death are either elderly people who have too much life experience, or people who have witnessed the death of their loved ones and caused psychological pain that is no different from dying once themselves. "Acceptance" is actually a psychological defense mechanism to rationalize death.The reason why it is called a psychological defense mechanism is that people do not have rational reflection on death.Its defect is also obvious, that is, it requires a specific psychological experience to correspond to it, and it is only suitable for the elderly and people who seem to have died once, and cannot be used in large-scale groups of people. A man who gives his all to faith is invincible, because God is over him. It has been said before that human beings need to set up a mental device to deal with the threat of death fear.Most religions and cultures resort to a set of rituals that solemnize death.If human beings see the death of their own kind, the ending is as sad and insignificant as seeing the death of ants and other creatures, then the blow is quite big.But in a set of rituals that solemnize death, human death is different from animal death, and death is a solemn thing.Of course, this alone does not eliminate the fear of death for human beings. Therefore, without exception, many religions continue to "enchant" death, setting death as a means of salvation, a way to transcend suffering, and a gate to heaven. An important reason why religious extremists dare to act as human bombs is that their religion gives death a sacred color.Death is his best destination, and it is a necessary procedure for him to fulfill his obligations as a believer and receive God's favor and favor.Many ideological believers, such as revolutionaries, are not afraid of death, also because this ideology has a quasi-religious color, and death means that he dedicates himself to his belief.He will be remembered, and the sacred cause is sanctified by his death. Like all other fears, the fear of death is a psychological reaction, although it arises from a final fact, from a biological law, from the deepest part of the human psychic structure. Looking at the above five methods of overcoming the fear of death, without exception, none of them escape the operation of the psychological structure.It may allow some people to overcome the fear of death, but it is not applicable to ordinary life situations, nor is it permanent. Because of this, philosophers invented a method, which is to elevate death to the level of philosophy to examine.They hope to use rational thinking to explore the truth of death and dispel the fear of death. When I talked about Socrates earlier, I said that the power of reason is very powerful, and it constitutes a real persuasion to people. Plato recorded in "Oxyphro", that on a certain day, Socrates met a man named Oxyphro by chance at the entrance of the court.Socrates expressed surprise when he learned that Euthyphro was going to exterminate his relatives and accused his father of murder.They began a discussion in which Euthyphro argued that a thing is pious because it is pleasing to the gods.This involves a classic proposition in Western philosophy: Is an action right because God thinks it is right; or does God order people to do this action because it is right?In other words, does truth exist objectively, or is it just God's command? I simply copied their dialogue as follows. Do you see it?In this dialogue, Socrates clarified the proposition step by step with a rational rhetorical method, and finally made Euthyphro admit that there is no reason to support his view that "gods love to be pious".In fact, he does not really know his point of view clearly, but only thinks he does; and if he had, he would not hold it, because it is logically untenable. Here, no matter how much Euthyphro believes in God, as long as he admits that he is a reasonable person, admits that there can be no confusion and contradictions in thinking, and admits that many concepts must be tested by the mind, he must admit that he is wrong, and Socrates was right.In other words, he must admit the power of reason, which is far more powerful than emotions, beliefs, interests, etc., because it is the real persuasion of people.And the latter is just hypnosis, suggestion and compulsion for people! The powerful force of reason is reflected in the following two points. ①It corresponds to the objective logical structure of the world Although for humans, the world is full of uncertainties.However, ignoring the human factor, the world itself has an objective logical structure, which determines the ebb and flow of tides, flowers bloom and fade, earthquakes and volcanoes.In the Western conception, God created the world with logic, and people must use logic to understand the world. The reason is obvious: To understand the objective logical structure of the world, many things originating from the psychological structure, such as beliefs and wishes, are completely invalid. Even if you believe that people can fly to the sky, it is useless.To really let people fly into the sky, people must understand aerodynamics and other knowledge.In other words, only by knowing the world can we change the world.The prerequisite for understanding the world is that people must have a logical structure corresponding to the objective logical structure of the world.Rationality is precisely this set of logical structures. For thousands of years, human beings have turned the earth upside down. Without reason as a tool, it is simply impossible to play.Einstein said that the reason why Western science and technology are advancing with each passing day is all due to the support of logic.This is not an exaggeration at all. ②It appeals to logical reasoning In 1910, a French anthropologist named Vi Bruel published a book, which talked about the operation process of a kind of "primitive thinking".Its characteristic is: when a person thinks, his intelligence level is like that of a primitive person or a child. There are quite a few people in China who are still playing with "primitive thinking".I just saw two professors arguing in the media.Among them, A said that the rich have made great contributions to the society and solved the employment problem of many people. Therefore, the government should love the rich; All should be served equally. A gets angry: You are "hasting the rich"! Okay, let's take a look, where can we deduce the point that A said that B "hate the rich"?It can only fall from the sky!We can only think that if A is not a psychopath, he must be a primitive or a kindergarten student! Without logic, one can jump from here to there while thinking, and the brain is a mess.The characteristic of logic is that it must be interlocking, and there must be a solid foundation from one step to another.In this way, its every step is powerful.As long as the premise and reasoning process are correct and impeccable, you can't smash the entire logic chain. What, then, can reason do to overcome the fear of death? The first question that philosophers think about is: Is it because we are afraid of death that we have not really lived? Obviously yes.The more regret we have in our hearts about whether we have really lived, the stronger the fear of death will be.The more people who dare not touch the topic of the meaning of life, the more afraid of death. Socrates once said that a life without reflection is not worth living.People who have been haunted by the fear of death often do not understand the relationship between life and death.Their relationship is: death can constitute an acceptable natural result only if it is really lived; but if it is not really lived, death will be psychologically resisted, because it leaves a flaw in life that can never be repaired. A person comes into this world in order to truly experience the meaning of his own life in life.But the reality is that many people have never really lived at all. Everything he does, whether it is working hard, conspicuous consumption, buying a car or a house, is either just for survival or just for others to see. Life is not built on Inner experience and search for the meaning of life.No matter how much "happiness" he can gain from comparing himself with others, from being envied by others, an inner voice will tell him subtly that this existence is flawed.He is afraid of death because he has not really found the value of life! So, the philosopher's admonition is: live with the heart, and the fear of death will no longer be a problem. The second question is: What is the nature of death? The philosopher Tillich we mentioned earlier clarified this issue with rational methods.He found that, in fact, from birth, people are marching towards death.A part of human life is taken away every day.In other words, people are actually in the process of dying every day. The so-called "death", that is, the moment when people stop breathing, is just the completion of the death process, and it does not bring about death. Since people are dying every day, what is there to be afraid of?Tillich found that we project a kind of imagination to this final moment of death completion: imagining what happens after death.But as soon as this mask of terror that we project to death is removed, fear ceases to exist. The method of philosophizing death is far better than the other four methods of overcoming the fear of death.Its flaws lie in two points: it cannot fight alone, and it is not suitable for people who have not learned to think rationally; in addition, since most people have not reached the height of philosophers, it cannot really make people overcome the fear of death.However, in our training for mental strength, it is highly recommended, because it can at least transform us, if not overcome our fear of death.