Chapter 19 Chapter 18 The Era of Women The Era of Women

So far we have discussed the essence of men, so in the last chapter, the author intends to examine how the modern society has gradually changed men, and what kind of reality men are in in the entire modern society. As soon as we entered this century, the spiritual state and behavior norms of the Japanese were strongly influenced by European Christian society.Its characteristics can be summed up in one sentence: Japan has entered an era dominated by spiritual and sexual concepts, which can also be called the era of modern parentingism, which has also had a major impact on the relationship between men and women.

In order to prove this point of view, you can read love novels since the Meiji, and you will find that: the love between men and women in modern Japanese society has shown a strong ascetic color, before entering into a relationship with a certain woman, Men have to experience boredom and entanglement repeatedly, walking a long and winding road.The unique genealogy of Japanese literature from the Heian period to the Edo period, that is, the history of the so-called "lusty" has been completely interrupted, and the spirituality of love has been pushed to the forefront in modern novels. Exaggerated.

The Japanese who have been awakened by the influence of European rationalism have produced a new view of men and women in this century.They believe that if a man puts his intentions beyond his appearance, pursues women vigorously and indulges in sexual relationships, then it is a barbaric, crude, and ignorant act.This kind of concept has formed a strong trend and continues to this day. However, during the more than 100 years since the Meiji era, it is not that there have been quite extreme concepts.And as a result, there is a tendency that spiritual things are blindly placed on top, while physical things are correspondingly inferior.The spirit and the body were originally one, but once upon a time they were separated into two parts.In this state, the Japanese feel confused and wandering, and deliberately pursue the intellectual integrity of the appearance. It may be said that this is the appearance of the modern Japanese.

However, through the various creatures in nature, we will also understand that the original characteristics of males are active and aggressive.However, modern society has suppressed this male instinct, blindly admiring elegance and intellectuality, and women also expect the same from men. The result of this going on is that the function of the male penis is low. They lose their original mighty and agitated momentum, and their functionality is greatly weakened. I think anyone who has had the experience of wearing a plaster bandage for a broken leg will understand: the leg will shrink and become thinner because the leg is immobilized by the plaster, and the muscle strength will also decrease.This kind of functional degeneration caused by the inability to use a certain part of the body is called "disuse atrophy" in medicine, and the same reason can be proved for the penis.If men continue to live with the value of advocating asceticism, then they will experience disuse atrophy in the aspect of male ability with the penis as the main body from both functional and psychological aspects.

Unlike women, men are active and explosive, and because of this, they are prone to fall into the aforementioned state. Once men do not use themselves, they will be infected with "non-use addiction", so they develop to try their best to restrain themselves in this state. own habits.I'm not alarmist here: this tendency has become a colossal trend that has devoured the modern man. Another problem is probably the problem of men and women getting too close.Until the end of World War II, the concept of "seven-year-old men and women in different seats" permeated every corner, and a considerable distance was generally maintained between men and women.Therefore, men have strong longings and fantasies about women, and as a result, they will spend sleepless nights and forget food and mind to be attached to women, and their yearning for women is extremely high.

However, the coeducational system was adopted after the war, and the males were surrounded by females from childhood. I don’t know when the males began to be subconsciously suppressed by the females, and thus became timid.The reason for this is not difficult to understand when comparing children of the same age: Compared with boys, girls are far more precocious and more like adults.Especially in the upper grades of elementary school, girls have already experienced menarche, but boys of this age are completely ignorant of sex and still retain their childish nature. When I was in elementary school, I also had the experience of being treated like a child by a girl of the same age .At that time, a girl of the same age at a relative's house in Tokyo always called me "little boy, little boy". Of course, I was very unconvinced, but I couldn't do it.

After elementary school, from middle school, high school to university graduation, girls have always matured precociously, and in most cases, girls have good grades, and women are always around. Once boys really feel their existence, they will naturally fear them feelings or some kind of "forced complex", which leads to the weakening of his own initiative as a man. In this regard, we have touched on it more than once before. The male penis can only remain powerful and majestic when the mood is in a superior position.Without this sense of superiority, it is difficult for them to generate sexual arousal.Under normal circumstances, the reason why men are easily attracted to women who are younger than themselves or have a virginal style is because it is easier for them to put themselves in a spiritually superior position when they target these women.

In addition, it is mainly due to modern society as the cause of men's depression.The modern age is an era when women are absolutely dominant, and people admire women's freedom and unrestrainedness, and this concept has been widely recognized by society.In this way, the more energetic women are, the more men will lose their energy and initiative towards women, thus forming a vicious circle of declining masculinity. There is another problem here: as mentioned above, the relationship between men and women has become so thin in a real sense, but due to the excessive development of the custom industry, cowardly men who are unable to build an equal relationship between men and women begin to escape from the customs up.As long as that situation is reached, the male sexual desire can be satisfied in every possible way.In this way, cowardly men will only indulge in sex with money involved, which runs counter to the normal relationship between men and women.The result is that a part of the male who has been psychologically subdued by the female is perverted.To take an extreme example, they would turn into perverts like Tsutomu Miyazaki's defendant: only attacking young girls whom he tricked.

Even if they don't reach that point, even if they spend a certain amount of time with ordinary women and finally get married.However, because the couple both go to work or the wife is a strong woman, it is also difficult for the man to have the upper hand spiritually at home, so they will gradually lose self-confidence, resulting in a poor sex life.This situation is not uncommon. Generally speaking, men want their wives to be full-time housewives.The reason is that they can boast to each other: "I am the master of the family, and I am feeding you!" With this emotional advantage, the man can gain self-confidence and self-satisfaction as a male.But if you take a working woman as your wife, most of the wives have a lot of friends in their company units, and they often have dinner with their bosses or figures of the parental level. Contacts will also increase significantly.If the wife tells the husband about these situations, the husband will have a complex about his wife interacting with a man with a higher social status and economic strength than himself, and this may also form the reason for their loss of self-confidence.

From this point of view, there are too many factors that are not conducive to the normal survival of males in modern society. We can even say that this is an era that is difficult to survive. Admittedly, in this context, some people even put forward such a claim that the era of male superiority is gone forever, they should put down their airs and kneel under the pomegranate skirt of women, and let women be willing in terms of sex dispatch.Yes, this claim has its own reasons for its existence. It can also be said that this is another form of women showing love to men.However, in this case, without the fact that the male penis is erect, it still does not help.Under the premise of this theory of female superiority, it is still a delicate question whether women's tenderness or motherly love-like attitude and tolerance can make men stand up. In fact, there may be many cases of failure.

In this way, some people may raise an objection: In recent years, there are more and more couples whose wives are older than their husbands and have more financial strength. Don't they also maintain a harmonious and happy marriage? It is true that men have low financial ability and young age on such occasions, so their status as heads of the family is not high, but the reason why they can still be majestic in this situation is because they hold their own youth. Have a sense of superiority.Conversely, men can instinctively understand that women feel ashamed of others because of their age, so this can be used as an advantage to improve their male status.Recently, the relationship between Rumiko Koyanagi and Kenya Osumi has been "speculated" by the world.Presumably, Dacheng knew that Ms. Koyanagi Rumiko had a certain complex with him because of her age, so even though she took the upper hand in terms of finances and work, instead of feeling humiliated, he took it for granted that she should do more for him of. Generally speaking, most men are more contemptuous of older women, and if one of their companions has an older wife, they will be extremely cynical, half-jokingly saying "Go play with the children" , "Don't worry about Auntie's business" and other happy words.Received such sneering words, the person concerned would say things like "That guy is too stupid to take her seriously" and "I have the right to pretend that I am at work and playing with her" to my sincere friends.Which means they somehow take older women for fools and think being with them is doing them a favor.Older women would tremble with rage if they knew the superiority of the other.Of course, these are not the whole picture of the facts, but the relationship between men and women can be said to be a relationship of power struggle with each other under the mask of love. Another important factor that prevents male sexual drive (also known as male sex) from being high seems to be monogamy. The so-called marriage refers to the behavior process of men and women who grew up in different environments, received different parenting, and have different values ​​and sensibilities to live together under the same roof for a lifetime.It's deceptively simple, but once you think about it, it's quite a feat.Moreover, from a man's point of view, it is another kind of contract: there is always a certain woman lying beside him, and he can only have sex with that woman alone. As we have covered before, men are basically hunters, and their instinct is to chase something that gets away.Mothers often teach their children: "When you see a dog, don't run away. If it runs, it will come after you." For the same reason, the sexual drive of men towards women is very similar to the hunting instinct.Therefore, after marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is protected by law, and the tension between the two disappears, and they always stay together in the same home.Continuing to be sexually motivated to a wife in such circumstances is not easy, perhaps arguably demanding.That is to say, just because the wife has become a wife, she has changed from a sexual object to a non-sexual object as time goes by.Especially when the wife gives birth, raises children, and appears in front of him as the mother of the child, the man's sexual interest in them will disappear rapidly.Although, as the mothers of children, men have come to value their value, but, perhaps because they have lost their sexuality, men really have difficulty lusting after them. How can we continue to play the roles of male and female while being a couple, and continue to maintain the relationship between male and female?In this regard, there is an ideal model that can be considered, that is, the "tryst-style marriage" advocated by the aristocracy in the Heian period.After reading it, one should not be too hasty to assume that only men can have sex with several women, and that women must restrain themselves.On the contrary, there are women like Izumi Shikibe who have several male lovers in addition to their husbands.When her husband came to meet her, she would also order the servant girl to say to him: "Ji Jun (Madame) is not feeling well tonight and is resting, please go back." In fact, she is meeting another lover.At that time, the Noble Pavilion was quite luxurious and grand, and no one would know what happened inside. However, modern people live in a small apartment with two bedrooms or one living room or three bedrooms and one living room. Two people live face to face all day long.If you are in a local or rural area, people are better off with ample living space, but for couples who live an urban life, conditions that are not conducive to male perk are everywhere.It is not an exaggeration to say this. Marriage has a wonderful side, because a man and a woman who love each other finally come to fruition, they are united.But, at the same time, it is a kind of contract, which makes both parties bear the obligation to live together with him (her) for life. In principle, he (she) can only have sexual relations with each other.Being in your twenties or early thirties and entering into a pact like "no sex with other women from now on until you die" or "no sex with other men for life" can be scary when you think about it the other way around , it may be said that it is an extremely harsh system.Once someone breaks this contract, they will be severely blackmailed in the name of dishonesty. The consequences are: first, divorce; second, a considerable amount of compensation.Therefore, it cannot be regarded as an easy contract to sign. From this point of view, monogamy is a rather unreasonable system that modern society has invented at will.Societies in Western countries are unable to resist the repeated phenomenon of divorce and remarriage. Therefore, it can be said that the system has been modified in a form that is in line with human nature.Regarding this point, in Asian countries represented by Japan, the society has extremely strict regulations on divorce, especially when there are children. maintain the marriage relationship. However, looking at the animal kingdom as a whole, except for some animals such as cranes, it is extremely rare for males and females to accompany each other for life.The most common situation is that the male will leave as soon as the copulation is over.Even though males participate in the production of offspring on some occasions, once the offspring are mature, the males part ways with the females.Also, females reselect males who can father their children.If the original males are superior in all aspects, they will re-contract and mate again.However, if a more powerful male is presented, the female will not hesitate to choose the latter.That is to say, each time around the issue of the father of the child, a separate treaty must be concluded, and the right to choose lies with the female.However, males need to keep working hard. They fight to the death with other males to show their strength to females. With monogamy, men do not need to make the above efforts.Say it's easy, and it's easy.However, because of this it can be said that both males and females will lose passion for granted.This kind of monogamy is a rather unreasonable system for biology, and it is not conducive to maintaining lust and sexual love between men and women, to say the least. Still, before World War II, men still had shortcuts to escape.In this way, I think there are women who are going to be glaring.At that time, it was acceptable for men with social status to have lovers and concubines, and the flower streets and willow alleys such as Gion and Shinbashi were also built by the aforementioned men.Geisha regard it as an extremely glorious thing to be able to give birth to a man and a half woman for the wealthy and powerful.And those young and beautiful mothers who gave birth to illegitimate children with a certain reserve, and the children who inherited the genetic factors of men with social status and power, could live a carefree life as superior elements in that era. However, once the relationship between men and women is exposed in modern society, those politicians and financial giants will be discredited; people's attitude towards the relationship between men and women is becoming more and more serious. urgent.We cannot deny that this excessive moralism of society is also the reason for the decline of male masculinity. During the fifty years after the war, people experienced the fruits of unprecedented progress in scientific civilization.In the days of our parents, people drew water from wells and washed clothes on washboards. This scene was everywhere. However, fully automatic washing machines are now used as a matter of course; many families also have dryers; Heating has entered daily life, and cooking has become easier.In addition, electronic microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, etc., technology that facilitates life is advancing at an astonishing speed.Moreover, as long as you go to a convenience store that serves 24 hours a day, you can even buy ready-made non-staple food.It can be seen that modernization has made women's housework much easier, and housewives have been liberated from heavy housework. However, these modernizations did not ease men's workload like liberating housewives, rather the conveniences they brought increased men's burden.For example, I used to stay there for one night on a business trip to Osaka, but now I have to go back and forth in the same day due to the opening of the Shinkansen; also, due to the use of modern office equipment such as computers, the work tends to be more rational and efficient, but these As a result, men have no more spare time.That's it. On the one hand, the convenience brought by modernization has reduced the labor intensity of women, while on the other hand, men have increased their labor load due to the convenience brought by modernization.Therefore, the situation where men cannot fully satisfy women's release energy can be said to be the reality of modern couples. Moreover, wives used to have five to six children, but now they only have two at most, so they have a lot of energy and time to spare.Especially wives whose children have left their hands, the reality they face is that it is difficult to kill the extra time and potential energy.At the same time, however, the men are exhausted from simply coping with work, and they lose the strength to get along with their families.Needless to say, they lost the energy to make love to their wives.Men over the age of forty have almost no desire for their wives. It is true that if the wife also goes out to work, then maybe the two parties can achieve equality, but if the wife is a full-time wife, then the balance between husband and wife will collapse.In this case, if there is enough money to spare, maybe the wives can go out to learn something and cultivate some interests to enrich themselves and develop their redundant potential, but if even this cannot be done, then wives would be quite anxious. The magazine "Women's Fairness" often discloses the dissatisfaction of such women, such as "the husband doesn't get along with me", "the husband has nothing in common with me", and some people even complained: "If this continues, marriage will still be difficult. What's the point?" It can be seen that modern men are so pitiful that they have no spare time to spend with their wives. Not long ago, when the author visited a certain city, I heard the following story from a local industrialist: He is a very busy man and his wife is a full-time wife.Since he came home late every day, his wife suspected that he might have deviant behavior outside.As a result, suspicions gave birth to ghosts, and one day his wife suddenly became hysterical and cut his five shirts into pieces with scissors.After hearing this story, I couldn't help lamenting how tragic the life of a housewife with such a husband in a local city is!Every night and every day, all they have is time, but nothing worth doing.A person stayed at home all day like a wooden sculpture, and gradually fell into the state of being persecuted and delusional, and became suspicious of her husband day after day.If the wife had another job, her vision would be broader and she would not fall into persecution paranoia.However, as the wife of a famous big family in the local city, she can only stay at home and guard the empty room.However, I feel: if this continues, she will naturally turn from depression to paranoia. All in all, in modern society, maybe full-time wives themselves are a kind of abnormal existence, and it can be said that there are many problems in them.Many of them seem to have devoted themselves to their children in order to seek ways to release their potential.But then the children will be in trouble again.Especially the only child is more likely to become the biggest victim. In order to get rid of this unhealthy state, I think that in the near future people will not stick to monogamy, but will move towards polygamy or polyandry, and people will recognize the abundance and heterogeneity of couples.For example, a wife finds a man who works hard and earns a lot of money to have a child with him, and then on the other hand has a man who is emotional and can satisfy her sexual desires.This is a replica of the polygamy system in which a strong man had both a wife and a lover in the past, so there is nothing awkward about it. In short, in the future, there may be more and more women who do not seek everything from a certain man, but let several men play different roles.In other words, it is best for human beings to return to the origin of animals. A female with strong desire can submit to several males at the same time; a male with strong desire can also have several females at the same time. Needless to say, the fact that a man and a woman spend their whole lives together, loving each other without distractions, is indeed a very biased phenomenon from the perspective of the principles of the animal kingdom.However, in modern society, people use rationality to control instinct, and laws to restrain human animal nature, and barely support the ethical outline. Can this really make human beings happy?Presumably there are still many questions.Not only that, but I think that if things go on like this, it will actually make human beings more depressed and anxious, and lose their brilliance as creatures. To be honest, the modern marriage system is far from being able to adapt to the changes of the times, and many deviations have appeared on it.This is what has been called the blind spot of modern spiritualism.Looking at Europe, where divorce and remarriage are so prosperous, we may say that the modern marriage system is actually collapsing. To sum up, we found that modern males have lost their brilliance as males, and there is a trend of becoming less masculine. If this situation continues, females will lose their amorous feelings as females, and as a result, sexual differences will shrink, and even There will be a third sex race.The end result is that both males and females lose their vigor, the birth rate of children decreases, and society ages.In advanced countries, this phenomenon has become quite serious. At the same time, somewhere in people's minds, they should have such doubts: Is this going to work? The topic shifted to myself again. The reason why I made such a description in the book is because I have a sense of crisis. I feel that human beings have lost their origin. In reality, we human beings are at best animals, and we are no different from other creatures on the earth. Since we have been born into this world as living objects, we should make our lives more brilliant, and return to the uniqueness that should be unique to creatures. The brilliance of life of male and female.The starting point of the book is to try to express this theme of life in the absolute love that includes sex. It is gratifying that it has aroused a response. The reason for this, I think, is that many people have the same sense of crisis deep in their hearts. They have an instinctive longing and expectation for human beings to return to the origin of male and female.In addition, many women sincerely hope that men will have more males, and they suffer from sexual hunger and thirst because they do not get enough male nourishment.Through the feedback of readers, I have noticed the above problems, so I feel reassured and encouraged at the same time. Based on this meaning, I feel that human beings are not bankrupt. They are like a pendulum. When they swing to one extreme with all their potential, they will naturally start to swing in the opposite direction. All in all, I hope that the suffocating era of restricting everything by a certain rule and moral code and forcing people to obey the same values ​​will come to an end in this century.For example, the word "unlucky" is widely known, so, is it ethical to continue to maintain a married life without love?No, absolutely not.I thought, isn't it the true face of human beings to sincerely and desperately love the one you love?One should also admit that this is the only way to be ethical. Perhaps in the 21st century, human vision will be broader, the body will be more free, and they can return to the origin of human beings.If this is not realized, mankind will be even more unfortunate.It can be said that our generation facing the 21st century has gradually realized this point. The marriage system may not make us happy, and monogamy cannot be asserted as an ideal relationship between men and women. In the next century, mankind will explore this issue more deeply; at the beginning of the next century, mankind will be more free; people can accept all kinds of values; the world will come out of the suffocating state, and the above is my hope.However, human beings must speed up the pace of legislation and formulate various laws and regulations such as eliminating discrimination against illegitimate children. Above, we have discussed the question of "what is a man" from various angles, and perhaps many female readers will disagree.They may think: These ideas are just my personal imagination after all, and they definitely cannot represent all men, at least their lovers or husbands will not be like this.It is true that men cannot be generalized when talking about men, and men are divided into different classes. It cannot be said that the men I am talking about here include all male citizens.But it is not far from the truth, in the sense that what I have dealt with so far is something of the greatest common denominator that applies to most males, I venture to say.However, there are also some women who think that their lovers or husbands will not be in the same boat, and I want to say the truth about this: that kind of man or husband is just to avoid putting themselves in a disadvantageous position. Not exempt. All in all, men and women are never the same, so when it comes to the real psychological or essential aspects of men, it is difficult for women to understand, or accept.However, even if it's hard for you to accept, as long as you are willing to know that "men are like this", then it will never hurt you to build a good relationship between men and women. As introduced at the beginning of this book: since men and women are of the opposite sex, it is impossible to understand each other in a true sense.But there's a world of difference between wanting to know as much as possible and not trying to know at all. Moreover, even if you understand the mystery, as long as you know that men and women are different, it will also become the driving force behind your curiosity and persistence towards the new opposite sex. Rather than saying that there are men and women in this world, it is better to say that there are only men and women in this world. For this reason, we should understand each other and cultivate the concept and sensibility of being kind to each other, so as to establish a richer and more fulfilling relationship between men and women.