Chapter 2 Chapter 1: The Years Witnessed by Women

The women I met with the eyes of a teenager were, of course, women of the 1950s. The urban areas of Harbin were mainly Daoli District and Daowai District. At that time, Nangang District had not yet become a major urban area, and the Power District had not yet become a major heavy industrial area. Xiangfang District was the junction of urban and rural areas. Daoli District is the most characteristic urban area in Harbin.A horseshoe stone road goes straight to the Songhua River, called "Central Street".There are twelve side streets lined up like fishbone on both sides, called "foreign" 1st to 12th streets.Because it was built by the Russians in the early years, it was named "foreign".When I was a teenager, my home was in Daoli District, but not in the area of ​​Central Street in Daoli District, but in the side three or four stops away from Central Street.

There were several old residential areas in Harbin in the early years, and Pianlianzi was one of them.These old residential areas are almost all sandy roads.On both sides of the road, there is a ditch dug with running water in summer, which is called "Yanggou". "Yanggou" is relative to "Yingou".Lay wooden boards on the gutter so that people can walk on it.By the time I was a teenager, the gutters had basically disappeared, and only the gutters remained in the old residential areas. Behind the gutters are rows of houses facing the street.The windows facing the street are surrounded by wooden barriers.The wooden shoji is actually a kind of fence, but it is taller than the fence and not so neat and beautiful.The wooden shoji added a bit of rural scenery to the city, which left a deep memory for me.Naturally, there are trees, flowers and grass growing in the gardens facing the street surrounded by wooden barriers.Some wooden shojis must have been beautiful in the past.The upper end of the plank is sawn in a toothed shape, or a more beautiful peach or square shape.Over time, it gradually rots and breaks, so unsightly, skinned, miscellaneous wood boards and strips of different lengths and widths are added, which can only be called "shoji".Shoji can also be regarded as "behind the fence".

Building fences is a rural living habit of the Russians.A wealthy Russian, he lived in the area of ​​Central Avenue in his early years.Those who are not too rich and those who are poor lived in the face area in their early years.After the founding of New China, the government sent a group of Russians to the Soviet Union.As a result, those houses changed hands and became the homes of many Chinese.Whether it's fences or wooden barriers, of course they are all for the security of the house, so that people will not stand on the road and look into the house through the windows. There are small bridges every few meters on the Yanggou.It is an exaggeration to call it a small bridge, but it is actually a pedal.Passing through the sun ditch from the board, the front door is often the courtyard gate.The gates of the courtyard are also Russian style, with a small door on the gate.Entering the courtyard gate is equivalent to entering a small "tribe" in the city.There are as few as four or five households, as many as seven or eight, or more than a dozen households, living with different surnames.The situation is the same as that of courtyard houses with different surnames in Beijing.When Russians live, they usually have one courtyard and one household.When the Chinese lived there, there were many in one courtyard.For example, the courtyard houses in Beijing were originally basically one courtyard and one household.Since they live with different surnames, they have public obligations.For example, it takes turns to close the gate every night and open the gate at dawn.For example, dredge the drainage of Yanggou together in the rainy season, and clear the snow together in winter.

When I was young, those courtyard gates were probably decayed, but they can still be regarded as gates after all. There is also a courtyard and a household, which are not the homes of ordinary people. They are the homes of petty government officials, section chiefs, and deputy section chiefs.If you are a slightly older official, you will never lose your face.Or for a wealthy family before the founding of New China, the courtyard house was bought long ago and it is private property.Back then, there were quite a few yards that were privately owned, accounting for about half of them.Therefore, the relationship between many families is not only that of neighbors, but also that of landlord and tenant.

It is in such and such streets, courtyards, and households that my young eyes and heart have observed and gotten close to all kinds of women, old, middle-aged, and young. , I have also experienced the style of girls of my age.Some are homes of small intellectuals, some are homes of workers, some are homes of small cadres, some are homes of peddlers, and some are homes of rich people who have been "communized" or families of small business owners who have been "joint ventures".Some families run small grocery stores on the street to make ends meet; some run shoe repair shops and barber booths at the end of the street; others rely on men to collect junk, and women sell popsicles in summer and candied haws in winter to support their families. ... In short, there are no upper class families, but there are bottom class families.There are not too rich people, but there are very poor people...

The eyes and hearts of my teenagers have observed and been close to the mothers and daughters of these families—the mothers and daughters of common people and poor families in China in the 1950s. Let’s start with the women who are mothers.They were my mother's contemporaries, around 40 years old.The younger ones were thirty-seven or eighteen years old, and the older ones were forty-five or sixteen.They are not only the most mothers on that street, but also the most face-faced families.It appears that middle-aged mothers make up the majority of mothers in any age group. Most of them have no jobs, let alone careers. The 1950s were not the era when women went out of their homes to seek jobs.They are probably more typical traditional housewives.Except for a very small number of wives of intellectuals, wives of small cadres, and wives of wealthy families before liberation, more than 97% of them are illiterate.More than half of them are the new generation of urban residents, and they have settled in the city for more than 20 years on average.Some of them went to the city to join relatives and friends to make a living when they were young, just like the contemporary migrant girls who caught up with the "recovery" and simply married men in the city.It was easy to obtain an urban hukou back then, and the easiest way was to marry a man with an urban hukou.Just like women going abroad today, the easiest way to obtain long-term residency is to marry a foreigner.Some of them later became educated, which is the result of China's "elimination of illiteracy" campaign.In that movement, they went to night school in groups every night, which was a unique scene in the city with a light-hearted comedy color.

The main responsibility and mission of housewives is of course to play the role of housekeeper, which is also the main basis for their mutual comparison. They get up early every day and cook as lightly as possible.That hour is the time when the husband and children sleep "returning to the cage", so it's okay to disturb the children, they can catch up on sleep during the day.If you wake up your husband, your husband will be angry.If the husband is not angry, they themselves will feel guilty.They know that the husband who will go to work has nowhere to catch up on sleep during the day.So, guilt, if not guilt.When a husband and wife have a good relationship, they will feel distressed.This is very different from wives today.Although today's wives also cook breakfast, it is not an obligation, but a consciousness.Besides, I have to eat breakfast and go to work.In many families today the responsibility for cooking breakfast has been handed over to the husbands.If the husbands make a big noise and wake up the wives, they will also be dissatisfied.If today's husbands don't take the initiative to take the responsibility of making breakfast, over time, the wives will complain and even protest.But in the 1950s it was rare for husbands to cook breakfast.Such a husband will be ridiculed by men, and such a wife will also be ridiculed by women. Wives in the 1950s had no right to whine about making breakfast, let alone protest.This kind of hard work is determined by their role as housewives.

In the 1950s, there were not many households that mainly relied on fine grains.Families with better living conditions eat refined grains for two-thirds of the time each month, families with average living standards eat refined grains for half of the time, and families living in poverty only eat refined grains for one-third or less of the time.The fine grains are almost only enough for the husband to eat and bring meals.If there are old people and young children in the family, they are given preferential treatment to eat some fine grains with their husbands, so almost only the wife eats coarse grains by herself.

Even so, they have no complaints, and even think that this is a natural and rightful thing.What's more, he doesn't want the truth to be known to outsiders.Of course, I don't want to be sympathized and pitied by other people's wives and daughters on this point.Because at this point the sympathy and pity of wives from other people's families seems to them to mean the injury of self-esteem. In the 1950s, there was also the phenomenon of envying the rich and laughing at the poor.Compared with the present, it is not an aggressive phenomenon, but it is not a phenomenon that pleases the poor after all.

"Look at her, how does she look like a wife, like a hired mother! Do the work first, eat the last, and can only eat coarse grains!" This is one of the ridicules that some sharp-tongued women in the neighborhood made of poor wives.The words contained a condemnation of the poor husband, and in fact also contained a derogation of the status of the mistress of the poor wife, which made the poor wife's self-esteem the most unbearable. Therefore, they often tell their children to tell outsiders that the whole family eats the same food. And some women from other families do indeed always pry other children's children with ulterior motives: "Do your families eat the same food?"

There is not much malice in this kind of spying.Nothing more than an interest in the privacy of other people's homes.Trying to probe into such a conclusion through those words—the status of other people’s wives in the family is worse than that of their husbands, so the spy will often put down the work in their hands, and help the latter to sew, mend, dismantle and wash.At this time, they are moved and satisfied by the kindness in their hearts.Of course, the latter will also be moved, and will also get the satisfaction of being pitied. If it is not summer but winter, housewives visit each other.Visiting is their way of socializing in winter.Naturally, they often also carry needlework.It often happens that a woman from the Zhang family goes to the Li family with an unfinished roll of cotton jacket or trousers under her arm.If a woman from the Li family is doing the same work, immediately give up half of the kang noodles.So the two women sat facing each other, doing their own things while chatting about family affairs, the past of their teenage years and their family background.If the women of the Li family had nothing to do, they would enthusiastically spare the kang, willing to help the women of the Zhang family. Therefore, it is not surprising that the women of the Li family helped finish the soles of Zhang's husband's shoes, and the clothes of the Li family's children were made with the help of Zhang's women. If the relationship between the women in the same courtyard is not getting along well, or the relationship between the women of a certain household and the women of another household is tense, then the chat and visits will be transferred from this courtyard to other courtyards.Can be called the "extroverted development" of communication. Therefore, in the 1950s, men often reprimanded their own women or privately discussed other women's women—"I just gave birth to a mouth and two legs, strung all over the street!" If it is hard to find a bosom friend on the same street, then they will look for it in another street. It is very convenient to go from one street to another.Often, from somewhere in this courtyard or a neighboring courtyard, such as a gap in a low wall, such as a gap between two houses, one can walk through to a certain courtyard on the previous street or the rear street.Harbin is called "Drilling Courtyard". Housewives like to chat and visit, which is really one of the basic psychological needs that people desire to communicate with each other.Apart from this traditional way of communication, they had no other way of communication back then.Their true temperament is presented and stretched through this method.If even this method is strictly prohibited, their vitality as women will quickly wither away. Around 11 am, they all returned to their respective homes.Although the husband is not at home, the children still have lunch. In the afternoon, they can take a nap. Chatting and visiting in the afternoon, I watch my watch from time to time, and must end before 4:30. Around 6 o'clock, my husband came home from get off work.He entered the door for a while, drank a glass of water, smoked a cigarette, and the food was served on the table.An excellent wife, no matter what meals are cooked, the time is extremely accurate. If there are steamed buns and white rice porridge on the dinner table, as usual, the husband, the elderly and the young children will share them first.If there is anything left, she has her share; if there are not many, she naturally does not have her share. She has long been used to it without her share.Because she is a wife, a mother, and a daughter-in-law.In her own consciousness, she admits that she is the least important member of the family.In terms of food and clothing, no matter who she compares with, it is always reasonable for her to be in the back row. At around 7 o'clock in the evening, she began to boil footwashing water for her husband, children and the elderly. If there is a radio at home, the husband often listens to it while smoking, waiting for the footwashing water to be brought to his feet.And the eldest son and eldest daughter who go to school must be immersed in their homework. Regardless of whether it is summer or winter, after 8:30, most people must draw the curtains. In summer, after dinner, men also like to sit in the courtyard and chat for a while, or play a game of chess, but they never get together very late.In winter, if it is not Saturday night or Sunday, men don't visit much. At 9 o'clock, nine out of ten people turn off their lights.Some people go to bed earlier, and often turn off the lights after 8 o'clock. One advantage of the TV-free age is that both adults and children get more sleep. In the 1950s, not every household had a radio.It can be said that most civilian families do not.Whoever has it is also old, and can only listen to one or two stations.I remember that on the street where my family lived, someone bought a brand-name domestic radio worth more than 80 yuan, which almost caused a sensation in the whole street... When the husband and children snore, the housewife's day is finally over. They go back and forth, year after year, living a life with exactly the same content.Until it turns pale, the face is wrinkled, and it becomes old unconsciously. Of course they are also beautiful.What they put on their heads is called "hair oil", what they put on their face is called "snow cream", and what they use to moisturize their hands is called "clam oil"-some kind of oil packed in two clam shells, which costs 8 cents.And these three items are luxury items for them, and they cost about one yuan in total.Even for such cheap things, some women have never used them a few times in their lives. Usually, they wash their hair with alkaline water and wash their face with soap. If the skin on their hands is dry and cracked, apply some soybean oil.It's the Spring Festival, so I'm willing to buy a piece of soap in advance. They also seldom wear new clothes.After all, there will be one or two new clothes.For example, it was worn at the time of marriage, but it may be folded and pressed at the bottom of the box shortly after marriage.Some people even pressed the cheongsam they wore at the bottom of their suitcases.On a certain day, usually in the fine weather of summer, when the bottom of the box is drying, she will put it on on a whim and show off in the yard.Of course, the cheongsam was already thin, and it didn't fit her well.The women in the same courtyard gathered around to admire, praise or regret. In addition to the new clothes they got when they got married, most of them, according to my estimation, made five or six new clothes for themselves after marriage, which is considered too much.It is said that it is five or six sets, but it is actually impossible to make them at the same time. I often make new clothes the year before last, and new pants last year. I plan to make a pair of new shoes for myself this year.I finally got together the upper and lower sets, and reserved them for special days and special moods. New clothes are nothing more than plain or twill.The triangle of plain weave is one foot longer, and the pentagon of twill cloth is one foot longer.Most of them spent their whole life on clothing, and after careful calculation, it was only two or three hundred yuan.When one of them dies suddenly, they often don't have a new set of clothes to go into the coffin, and now they make a set of plain or twill clothes for the end. Of course they love fame.A good wife, a good mother, and a filial daughter-in-law are their supreme pursuit of honor.If a housewife can really be recognized as a role model in these three aspects, then she will become a very respected woman in the whole court and even in the whole street.If she has achieved the three aspects, then she must be humble and tolerant in terms of neighbor relations.Even a brutal woman would not dare to offend her too much for fear of arousing public wrath.Among the housewives, there are also chivalrous and courageous women who preside over civil justice in a courtyard or even on the entire street, restraining the strong and helping the weak, and fighting for the bullied women. Home is the showcase for each of them.What kind of woman a housewife is, others will know it as soon as they step into her house.A woman who manages a house well, no matter the size of her house, well-furnished or simple, can be seen at a glance, and poverty cannot offset it.Husbands, children, and the elderly are their advertisements.They know this, and do everything in their power to make every member of the family well-dressed.If it is said that they can't take into account who they are, then they can only be themselves.It is not easy for them to fulfill the above obligations. In the 1950s, common people's families were almost reluctant to spend money on clothes and clothes, and they all made them with their own hands.It's easier to make unlined clothes in summer.If three or four sets of cotton-padded clothes are made in winter, their hands are often too stiff to bend.Speaking of which, people today may not believe it. On the street when I was young, there was a family of women who were extremely strong and faceless.She fell ill in summer and failed to unpack and wash the cotton-padded clothes of five or six members of her family in advance.It was winter, and the illnesses got better, so we stepped up the unpacking and washing, and tried our best to let the whole family wear unwashable cotton clothes and pants, and cover the washable quilts during the Spring Festival.When unpacking and washing cotton-padded clothes and quilts in the north, we must also pay attention to "pulp".That is a very troublesome process.Especially if you start to do it after winter, the trouble will double.Before the Spring Festival, her wish came true.But her hands were crippled, and she could no longer straighten them, and she suffered from a kind of muscle and bone disease commonly known as "chicken feet".She was almost blind in both eyes, and her eyesight declined severely after that. Unfortunately, she was less than 40 years old that year... If a professional woman is jealous, people will say that she is "like a housewife". However, I would like to say that in China in the 1950s, it was probably the housewives who had the most limited jealousy.More precisely, it is precisely the housewives of the commoner class.Saying this does not mean promoting the virtues that they seem to be the closest to women by nature, but emphasizing that they cannot directly participate in the competition for fame and fortune in society, and at the same time, the phenomenon of being worthy of women's envy almost exists in their short outside the narrow field of view.It is impossible for a man or a woman to be jealous of a phenomenon of which he is not aware.Being in such a group and closed life form of them determines that they really have nothing to envy other women. But after all, there will be times of jealousy, right? Yes. In which aspects? Such as jealousy of other people's housing. Some families have a large population, while others have a small population.Some people's houses are raised high, and "hanging bunks" can be built to increase the number of living meters; some people's houses are low, with windows and doors sunken into the ground, and they are shaded, so they don't see sunlight all year round.Some people have two rooms, others have one... These rigid differences determine the different living conditions, more precisely, determine the quality of the living conditions.It is impossible for their psychology not to respond to these differences in field of vision. If the Zhang family has a large population but lives in one of the poor houses, then she will definitely be jealous of the Li family who has a small population but lives in two good houses.Therefore, the women of the Zhang family either love to visit the Li family the most, or they don't like to go there the least.My favorite place to go is because of yearning, because of longing, in other people's homes, I can directly experience the feeling of living in a good house.What I don't like most is because I instinctively stay away from the "model" of desire that I can't achieve, in order to maintain psychological balance. Therefore, I observed with the eyes of a teenager—women who live in good houses often visit each other, and women who live in bad houses have a close relationship. But that's all.It will never discriminate against each other because of this, let alone hostile to each other.Meeting each other is also polite, and treat each other with courtesy. This can be done because the differences in houses are usually historic in the 1950s.It was bought by the previous generation of people who lived in a good house with money before liberation, not according to the principles of new China after liberation.If it is purely caused by the latter situation, then maybe their jealousy will give birth to resentment? Because the so-called "fairness" is mainly reflected in the way of distribution.And that difference was not caused by the subsequent distribution, so although they had a kind of jealousy, it was not strong. Strictly speaking, the word "envy" is more appropriate. In the 1950s, the topic of "communism" was the most "fever" in China.Many Chinese people have been mentally handicapped by the propaganda, and really think that "communism" is something that will be realized tomorrow.Housewives are especially convinced that this superstition has largely diluted their envy. When it comes to "communism", don't every household live in the same good house with the same area, similar size and style?What is there to envy about the difference in front of you?Isn't it just another eight or ten years in the old house?Their patience with "communism" is most touching. One year, road repairs in some of the faceless streets were not to turn sandy roads into asphalt roads or paved with stone roads, but some road repairers came, loaded a few trucks with sandy soil, filled up the potholes, and rolled the roads. It only needs to be crushed several times by the machine, and the ditches are also dug, but adults and children are very excited.I thought it was a signal to start the construction of the "communist" project, and then blocks of buildings would be built.So the housewives rushed to tell each other, all elated, and actively participated in voluntary labor... The result is that "communism" did not come true in one go starting from the construction of those few sandy dirt roads. Housewives are most jealous, really jealous - whose husband treats his wife better than his husband treats himself.Because this is not only something within their vision, but also something that directly touches their women's feelings.There is no doubt that it is actually something that women of any era care about.However, because they are housewives, they can only realize the importance of their own existence through the attitude of their husbands towards them, so they care more about this than women in any era. Some of them often publicly display a bottle of cream, a bottle of hair oil, and a few feet of cloth, boasting that their husbands bought them for them. There are also people who often say: "In our family, I eat the same food as him! He is not happy that I don't eat the same food as him!" The implication is that the husband loves her to the extreme. In fact, it may not be true. Most women don't care whether they and their husbands eat the same meals, but they care very much that their husbands don't even buy a bottle of hair oil or a bottle of cream for themselves.They calculated their husband's income and family expenses, secretly admitted that although their request was legitimate but extravagant, they always hoped that one day her husband would give her that portion of surprise.And the husband seems to ignore it... So, one day, she might announce in public: "My guy said he wanted to buy me a pair of leather shoes!" This kind of vanity of housewives is sometimes like a little girl who is better than a pet. Most of the housewives in the 1950s were thrifty.In many families, there are always sewing baskets on the bed or on the kang.Almost every family has a sock sole.There are often unfinished socks on the soles of the socks.Almost every panel has another function, which is reversed to attach the panel.To accept a pair of shoe soles, you need to paste more than ten layers of lace.As for the unfinished and unfinished clothes with needlework, it is even more obvious at a glance.They are not 8 hours away.They are always doing this and that, and they can never finish, and they never seem to be bored. Housewives have little personal prayers.Their prayers are manifested in husbands, old people and children.The old man is generous and long-lived, the husband is considerate and responsible, and the children are obedient and healthy—that is almost all their luck and happiness. What they are most afraid of is that their husbands often yell at them and they are often heard by neighbors. Being beaten by their husbands is the most embarrassing thing for them. Divorce was rarely on the minds of housewives in the 1950s.The extent to which they can endure is beyond words. In fact, they don't expect their children to become dragons, and they are quite relieved that their children will have a job when they grow up.The 1950s was a time when there was a shortage of young and middle-aged workers in cities.So they watch their children grow up day by day, and they are more optimistic about the future.And this optimism was shattered as soon as the 1960s entered... They generally wear old clothes all year round, and they are so simple that they can't be more simple.Short shoulder-length hair, called "civilized head" back then.No pursuit, no lust.I can't help but feel ashamed in front of slightly educated men, and I can't help but feel inferior in front of slightly educated women, even if they are facing small cadres in the street.Cadres at the level of the commune secretary are high officials in their minds, and the director of the police station represents an authority that they fear in their minds. The director of the police station and department-level cadres lived in the front street or the back street of my house. The women who led the street group often dare not go to collect the household registration booklet or notify something by themselves, and every time they drag a few other women to accompany them to strengthen their courage. According to my opinion, the mental outlook and psychological state of these civilian-class housewives in Pianmianzi, Harbin, in the 1950s, are similar to those of Zhengyang River, Sankeshu, Dibao, Guxiang (a place name in Harbin), etc. Housewives in urban areas are basically the same.By extension, it is basically the same as the housewives in the large, medium and small cities north of Beijing in China.I dare not arbitrarily include large, medium and small cities south of Beijing.Perhaps because of the status of the city and the urban situation in the south is different from that in the north, the housewives in the 1950s were different. Statistics show that middle-aged women accounted for the largest number of Chinese women in the 1950s, housewives accounted for the largest number of middle-aged women, and civilians accounted for the largest number of housewives. And on the whole, they are pretty much what I wrote. I am closer to them than to the women of any later age, for they are the mothers of my contemporaries.I have always had deep respect for them, because of the hard work and hard work of women of their generation.I also have great sympathy for them, because they gave so much and got so little as wives and mothers—and because they were not born in today's era when women have the opportunity to achieve great things and achieve great achievements. The sons and daughters of most of them can actually show filial piety to them who are aging after the 1980s, and it was almost impossible before that.And if they died before the 1980s, probably their sons and daughters are still supporting their own destiny at the end of "going to the mountains and going to the countryside". Well, for those who really died before the 1980s, I roughly calculated according to the general living standards in China from the 1950s to the 1980s. Their lifelong personal expenses, including food and clothing, were four to five thousand yuan. RMB.I calculated it based on living expenses of 10 yuan per person.From the 1950s to the 1980s, in cities, the per capita living cost of ten yuan was a medium level.Four to five thousand yuan is about equal to one month's salary of a young woman working in a foreign company today. After thinking about it, I feel more sympathetic to them in the 1950s. The difference from generation to generation is astonishing. Compared with the housewives in the 1950s, the professional women in the 1950s seemed not to be women of the same era at all.This is determined not only by the word "occupation", but also by the word "liberation". "Occupation" can only bring about changes in women's economic independence, and the resulting changes in consumption levels and material quality of life.However, the liberation of the whole of China, a world-changing event, made the professional women prove their social role that cannot be underestimated in a new and unprecedented manner.Among them are junior high school students, high school students, and college students who graduated in the early years of the founding of New China;For students before liberation, the primary school was directly promoted to the middle school, and there was no separate junior high school grade.After graduating from high school, you can directly enter the university.The female officers and soldiers who were demobilized in the army were either female intellectuals before joining the revolution, or they had lost their illiteracy in the revolutionary ranks and reached the level of elementary school or even middle school education.In short, all have culture, can read and write. In the 1950s, young women with a college education were rare. A high school culture, regardless of gender, is considered to have a higher culture.Compared with today, it is equivalent to a "secondary" intellectual. After graduating from junior high school, the society that urgently needs cultural talents no longer regards these people as students, but as "little intellectuals".At this point, men and women are equal.There are many girls and boys, and as a woman, the society loves it very much. They were first enthusiastically recruited by party and government agencies and bureaus and departments at all levels, or were recruited by major factories.And even if you put on work clothes, you generally don't go directly to the workshop to become a worker. In the first five years of the 1950s, the times were reluctant to "waste" a young woman with a middle and high school education to become a worker.At the very least, assign her to work as a copywriter in the department.It started in the last five years of the 1950s that middle and high school graduates directly went to the workshop to work as workers. Because there were more middle and high school students, the acute needs of the cultural occupations of the era were basically met before. Some of the above-mentioned professional women in the 1950s were probably between 20 and 35 years old.They are energetic and high-spirited, have a commendable professional attitude, are rigorous and responsible in their work, and are sincere and full of ideas for progress. Among them, the first type of intellectual women is quite humble in front of the second type of intellectual women.Because they feel that they have the academic certificates issued by the old education system, which seem to be inferior, and they are unavoidably weak psychologically. How dare they compete with the intellectual women who have been issued academic certificates by the new China?So I always show that I am willing to learn from the second type of intellectual women with an open mind.Even if they are not convinced secretly, they dare not compete openly.What's more, they were flattered when New China hired them.They absolutely dare not follow the instructions of their superiors. They ask for instructions more, report more, communicate more, and rarely have the courage to make decisions by themselves.Even if they are given some kind of power, they use it cautiously, even trembling like walking on eggshells, lest they make mistakes or be criticized.They are some intellectual women who clench their tails and act as women. The second type of intellectual women is also quite humble in front of the third type of intellectual women.Although their academic certificates were issued by New China, and although their educational level was one level or even two higher than the other party's, they did not have the same set of work ability, talent and experience that the other party had trained in the army.The combination of them means that one can stand alone, act resolutely, decisively, dare to speak out, and even "will not accept the orders of the emperor outside", and have less scruples about making his own decisions.These points, every time the second type of intellectual women are admired, sincerely convinced, and ashamed.It goes without saying how revered the first category of intellectual women is.The first category of intellectual women always has dissatisfaction with the second category of intellectual women, but they do not have the slightest disagreement with the third category of intellectual women.The so-called understanding also reverence, not understanding also reverence. Most importantly, the third category of intellectual women, whether they are soldiers or officers in the army, are women with "revolutionary experience".That experience is also called seniority, which is capital.In the early years of the new regime, that capital reigned supreme.No matter what kind of intellectuals, in front of it, their intellectual capital suddenly dimmed.If a woman owns it, she will not only be extraordinary in front of women, but also extraordinary in front of men who don't have that capital.So the situation is often like this-if the three types of women work together, it won't take long before the woman with that capital gradually becomes their central figure.And the second type of intellectual women unknowingly played the role of winning trust.The first category of intellectual women can only be the object of solidarity and help of the third and second category of intellectual women. Generally speaking, in principle, the third type of intellectual women was always arranged to lead the first and second types of intellectual women, and it was rare for the first type of intellectual women to lead the other two types of intellectual women.But there are also situations where the second type of intellectual woman is the leader, maybe because she has the highest level of education, or because she is a few years older.Even if she is a leader, she will still consciously and often actively discuss work issues with the third type of intellectual women and ask for advice humbly.What's more, when she is a leader, she will think: It's time for her to ask to join the party.The third category of intellectual women is almost all party members.The army took this into consideration when they were sent to the place.Then the application for joining the party of the women who are already leaders must be submitted to the organization through them.They must also be designated by the organization as the former's party helpers. In general, intellectual women were better at adjusting their roles than intellectual men, getting along without conflict, and maintaining the "ecological balance" among the three.Their positive and beneficial social role should not be underestimated in any case today.Although they were a minority among women in the 1950s, they were the most representative of the era of Chinese women in the 1950s. They often went deep into the street residents' groups to publicize, read and agitate for all kinds of things.So the vast number of housewives are fortunate enough to meet them who have broken into their field of vision.Every time their identities represent the party and government departments, housewives have to look up and listen carefully. When I was a teenager, it was in that situation that I saw them. Like housewives, I prefer to listen to the third type of women among them mobilize.When they speak, they are accustomed to using gestures to reinforce their meaning.They use the word "superior" less often.The four words they often say are "we women", so the relationship between them and the housewives has become closer, and it seems that they cannot be more equal.同时，家庭妇女们感到，她们自己便是“上级”了，起码是“咱们妇女”的“上级”。 第二类知识女性，亦即新中国发给学历证书的女人们，讲起话来则就不那么响亮，不那么热烈，不那么神采飞扬了，她们显得远不如第三类知识女性们那么自信。她们手中往往拿着报、文件或几页稿，一边说，一边看，怕说错了。 如果有前两类知识女性同行，第一类知识女性往往很拘谨，不多说什么，也往往没机会说什么。但如果没第三类知识女性在场，第一类、第二类知识女性讲起话来也会变得生动自如的。 做完动员报告，她们就分头到各家各户串门儿。而且，哪一家哪一户的房子低矮破旧，她们越爱去。不管床上炕上乱不乱，椅子凳子擦没擦，落身便坐，坐下便聊家常。聊时，每每拉着窘得不知所措的女主人的手，令后者们激动得泪眼汪汪。 她们常常郑重地这样说：“大嫂，信我的，生活会好起来的，很快就会好起来的！” 就像电影《列宁在十月》中的瓦西里对忧愁的妻子说：“面包会有的，牛奶会有的，一切都会有的！” 她们抱起人家的小孩子就亲，就逗。她们语重心长地替女主人教诲小学生要“好好学习，天天向上”，要听父母的话，要养成讲卫生的好习惯…… 如今回忆起来，我觉得她们（三类女性都包括在内）当年并非作秀，而是内心里真有一种对百姓的亲情。也许她们意识到自己在家庭妇女们心目中是代表着党和政府的，所以感受到能和家庭妇女们打成一片乃是特殊的愉快。她们走时，家庭妇女们往往成群结队地送出大院，送至街头，恋恋不舍。 应该承认，她们当年像一种黏合剂，以女性特有的感情色彩和非常浓厚的方式，紧密了底层民众，起码是底层家庭妇女们与党和政府的关系。 这一点她们做得比当年的男性们出色得多。如果没有她们深入的、经常的宣传鼓励和教化，家庭妇女们与党和政府的关系其实是极为松懈的，只不过经由街道和居民组的妇女干部们发生着管理与被管理的关系罢了。 以上三类20世纪50年代的知识女性，在第四类知识女性们面前，又不能不一律地肃然起敬。 这第四类知识女性，便是首长们的夫人。她们中不少人革命资本雄厚，本身又往往是处级干部。20世纪50年代，一个是处级干部的女人，在寻常人心目中，本身已接近高干了。想想嘛，她在部队里是团级！而且事实上，20世纪50年代，处级干部也的确是高干的初级——十三级。即使她们不是处级，是科级，也往往是身居要职的科级。她们的丈夫，又往往是局长、厅长、省市党政机关的部长们，甚至是省市正副职领导们。 所以，她们身上往往既有官气，同时也有官太太之气。哪怕她们是温和待人的女人，也难以全部掩饰起身上的官气和官太太之气。为官不能半点儿没有官气。但官气在她们身上，由于官太太之气而有时表现得盛气凌人。可以这么认为——她们比自己的丈夫们更早地从内心里消除了“百姓”这一概念。 20世纪50年代，除了庞大的家庭妇女群体，除了以上四类知识女性，当然还应提到那些工人女性、服务行业的女性，以及从事教育、卫生、文化工作的女性，她们皆是新中国的第一代职业女性。在一个意识形态极端政治化的国家里，“第一代”本身就是莫大的荣幸。这荣幸当年通过各种方式灌输进她们的头脑，并在她们的头脑中发酵为极其强烈的自豪。如今我们稍微一想，其实“第一代”并不意味着什么了不起的内容，因为这世界一向经常产生着方方面面的“第一代”，但当年她们可不会像我们现在这么稀松平常地去想。如果当年有人将我们现在这么稀松平常的想法告诉了她们，她们定会生气，甚至会认为我们思想反动…… 荣幸加自豪，使当年的中青年（青年居多）职业女性们非常热爱自己的工作，都尽量以出色的敬业表现在自己平凡的岗位上。当年因工作不出色而受批评，哪怕仅仅受到班组长的批评，也是一件无比严重的事。而且，无疑是让人觉得羞耻的事。她们中，瞧不起自己的工作、因为工作性质的平凡而妄自菲薄的人是极少的。谁头脑中存在这样的不满意或不满足，谁就被认为“思想成问题”，而一个女人若被认为“思想成问题”，那么即使容貌姣好，人也很“成问题”了。 她们对荣誉的要求都相当强烈，体现在争当先进、标兵、模范、“红旗手”等方面。“名利”二字，在中国，从20世纪50年代直至80年代初，“利”所包含的实际物质内容近乎虚无。即使有形，无非一个小本儿、一条毛巾、一支笔而已。但一张纸上如果印了“奖状”二字，它会使当年的许多男人和女人整整一年内不知道究竟怎么样努力工作才配获得它，才算对得起它…… 每年国庆节前，她们中有些姐妹被挑选出来——当然首先是获得过奖状的和年轻漂亮的，进行集体操练。于是她们出现在国庆那一天的游行队伍中，身穿整齐划一的行业服装，列成方阵，手拿纸花或小红旗，一边挥舞，一边呼喊庆祝口号。她们手挽手，挺胸昂头，尽量跨出比男人的方阵更豪迈的步伐，尽量呼喊得比男人们的声音还响亮。后来这一传统的庆典方式嬗变为每年一次的庸俗的公开的政治表演。但在当年，尤其对于那些女性而言，豪迈乃真情怀，亢奋乃真精神。她们虽不见得生活得怎样幸福，却觉得自己是世界上差不多最幸福的女人。 由她们列成的方阵，在以后每年的游行队伍中不断壮大。而她们脸上的豪迈和亢奋之态，却一年比一年消逝的快。那样的游行也越来越是任务…… 当然，即使在20世纪50年代，城市里也仍有与前几类完全不同的女性。但只能在中央大街一带，而且，一般只能在晚上见到她们绰约的身姿。旗袍、丝袜（解放前的箱底之物）、高跟鞋、烫卷的头发，描得又细又长的眉，抹得猩红的嘴唇；若在冬季，身上则裹着貂皮大衣或狐皮大衣，头上像电影里的外国女人似的歪戴着贝雷帽——白天也偶尔能见到。 我和少年时期的伙伴儿到中央大街去玩儿，几次见到过这样的女人。她们使我们联想到小人书《三毛流浪记》中画的摩登女郎。我们不觉得她们美，只觉得好奇，觉得她们喜欢那样子不可思议。免不了彼此小声说一句：“瞧，一个资产阶级的臭女人！” 但她们却恰恰可能属于最“无产阶级”的“无产阶级”。 有一次，我们在一家冷饮店里捡冰棍签子，看到了这么一幕——一个那样的女人，因为店员服务不周，声色俱厉地训斥店员。店员火了，将擦桌子的抹布往桌上一摔，一手叉腰一手指着店门吼：“我是为人民服务的，不是专门伺候你这种女人的！你出去……” 那女人倒也没因此而耍泼。她起身去柜台那儿挂了个电话，随后归座，架起二郎腿吸烟。不一会儿来了两名警察，二话不说，推着店员往外走。店员抗议：“干吗冲我来呀？我怎么啦？”一个警察问：“你为什么侮辱这位女士？”事后，听人们议论——那女人是市里一位很大的官的小姨子……这种女人，往往和另一种生活连在一起。那另一种生活，是老百姓的眼根本看不到的，在20世纪50年代就开始与表面的社会生活并存着了。它似乎意味着革命对某些革命者的回报。 最后，我们要提到20世纪50年代最值得令人怀着肃然的心情悼念和评价的一些青年女性，那就是当年参加了抗美援朝的她们。她们普遍是那么的勇敢，心中充满了一往无前的英雄气概和视死如归的牺牲精神。她们和男性志愿军战士们一样，在异国的土地上冒着枪林弹雨谱写战地豪情。关于她们的许多英雄事迹，时至今日，如果一一讲来，对当代人肯定依然具有可歌可泣的震撼力，依然足以引起由衷的敬意。 而此前，她们中许多人，只不过是些刚毕业的初中生或高中生，或卫校的在校生。她们的英雄气概产生于强烈的爱国热忱。她们的献身精神诚如“志愿军”三个字所体现的，是一种志赴崇高的“志愿”。 在20世纪50年代的中国青年女性中，她们身上折射出的是最壮丽的光彩。 20世纪50年代的女孩儿，一入中学，母亲们就会经常教诲她：“不小了啊，该有点儿大姑娘样儿了！”当然，她们还根本不能算是大姑娘，只不过不再被视为小姑娘了。 于是，母亲们的经常教诲，对那些比小姑娘大、比大姑娘小的少女们的心理产生了重要的暗示作用，她们便开始要求自己像大姑娘样儿了。 不必急于细说20世纪50年代典型的大姑娘究竟是什么样儿，还是先谈当年的少女们吧。 据我看来，与当代少女们相比，她们有比较幸福的一面。 第一，虽然是中学生了，但学业绝对不至于对她们构成什么压力。20世纪50年代的中学生也只上半天课。中午放学后，除了完成作业，其余时间她们基本上是自由的。而完成作业，一般两个小时绰绰有余。因母亲们大抵是家庭妇女，其实并没什么家务吩咐她们做。倘有哥哥姐姐，则她们更闲在了。倘有弟弟妹妹，则她们应该做的事，不过便是哄好弟弟妹妹别哭别闹，所以她们有相当充分的时间自由支配。当然，也有家里生活特别困难，母亲卖冰棍、摆小摊儿，揽到家里些零活儿做的。那么，这样的少女就闲在不了。但20世纪50年代的母亲们，一般不会指令自己上了中学的女儿去接替自己卖冰棍或摆摊儿。她们虽是家庭妇女，却比女儿们更在乎女儿的外界形象如何。母亲们爱护女儿们的外界形象，甚过爱护自己的外界形象。只要那女儿有哥哥弟弟，母亲指令接替自己的，往往是儿子。 少女们已不再跳格子、跳皮筋，那被视为小姑娘玩的项目。她们尤其较少跳皮筋了，因为跳皮筋是夏季玩的项目，夏季她们多穿裙子，跳皮筋有时须撩起裙子。皮筋举多高，一条腿要踢到多高。她们已自觉不雅。而母亲们倘见她们仍玩着，就会训斥。自己的母亲不训斥，别人家的母亲也会议论：“那么大个姑娘，还撩裙子高踢腿的，真没羞。也不知她妈管教过没有！” 我一直认为，跳皮筋对于少女们是极有益于健康和健美的玩法。她们当年跳皮筋时灵敏的身姿，至今仍印在我的脑海里。她们母亲当年训斥她们的情形，也一直是我回忆中有趣的片断。 少女们被暗示要“像大姑娘样儿”，不成文的训条之一便是少动多静。结果是——她们还能聚在一起玩玩儿的，也就只有“欻嘎啦哈”了。这恐怕是北方少女特有的玩法，南方少女未见得也玩儿。所谓“嘎啦哈”，是猪或羊腿关节处的骨轴。以羊的为佳，小巧形整，每面涂上不同的颜色。可独自玩儿，也可两人以上五人以下合玩儿。玩儿时左手抛起一个布口袋，右手同时撒出四到六个“嘎啦哈”。左手接住布口袋时，右手须在那布口袋降落的瞬间将“嘎啦哈”全都抚为同面朝上。至今我还没发现过，也没想出过比这一种玩儿法更能训练眼疾手快的另一种玩儿法。此玩儿法或许是蒙人传给汉人的。当年有的少女的一副“嘎啦哈”已被玩儿得油亮，而且是由成了大姑娘不再玩儿了的姐姐传给她们的。母亲们一般不会反对她们“欻嘎啦哈”，因为总得允许她们玩儿一种项目。四个少女各自盘腿或蜷腿相向而坐，不声不张，几乎静悄悄地玩着，是当年的母亲们看着也颇欣赏的城市女儿图。“嘎啦哈”难凑，更多的少女们便以桃核代替之。 像中学男生们开始互相借书一样，少女们开始彼此讨要花根、花苗、花籽。家家窗前屋后都有起码几平方米土地，便成了她们栽培自己喜爱的花儿的花圃。少女喜爱花儿是符合她们天性的。但使我至今也找不出什么原因而且始终奇怪着的是，从20世纪50年代初直至“文革”爆发前的中国少女，不知为什么爱读书的极少。她们是小姑娘的时候并不特别爱看小人书，她们上中学了也并不特别爱读小说。如果她们爱看，她们比今天的少女们有充分得多的时间。当然，一个原因是，除了少数知识分子家庭的少女，大多数家庭没有任何书报。大多数父母没有读书的习惯。我在当年的小人书铺里，很少发现少女们的身影。一分钱就可以看一本小人书，甚至可以看两本薄的。少年们每个月能从父母那儿得到几分钱的奖赏，我想她们也会得到的。 倘她们不属于学习成绩优秀的学生，父母们自然也是遗憾的，但绝不至于像今天的父母们一样着急上火，惶惶然不可终日起来。因为当年上学是为了识字。既已是中学生了，便一辈子不可能再是文盲了，父母们也就觉得对她们尽到了义务，满足于这一点了。大多数的她们，自己也满足于这一点。不就你是优等生，我不是么？但你能读，我也一样能读；你能写，我也一样能写呀！中学毕业之后，不都是要参加工作的么？不都是要学三年徒么？学徒期间不都是只有18元的工资么？以后不都是要凭工龄、凭实际工作表现涨级么？ ... 的确，20世纪50年代的她们中，只有极少数立志要升高中考大学不可。普遍的她们，自己并无很强烈的愿望。普遍的家长，也只打算供她们读到初中毕业。当年初中毕业生的就业机会较多，这使她们对自己前边儿的人生没有什么太严峻的忧虑。 不消说当年中国人还没听过“电视”二字，平民阶层十之五六的人家连一台旧收音机也没有，一个院儿七八户人家往往只有一户订晚报的。几乎家家都没有书架，更无“闲书”。如果学校不组织看电影，少女们是不会像少男们一样，合伙捡点儿破烂儿卖了，结伴儿去看场电影的。也不会像精力过剩得没着儿的少男们似的，三五成群不嫌累地走到市里去盲目地东游西逛。 但是在我的记忆里，她们并不显得特别寂寞。恰恰相反，她们的少女心怀似乎很充实。那里边不曾为追星发烧过，也不曾为向往某种物质生活的强烈念头折磨过，更不曾为什么世事的平等与不平等冲击过。 20世纪50年代的少女的心怀，普遍如一盆清水般净静。说是一盆，而非一池，比喻的是她们心怀范围的有限，净静得当代人既不能说多么好也不能说多么不好。 她们不寂寞，也许因为她们之间有足够装满心怀的友情。一名少女当年伤心了，暗暗哭泣了，往往由于她们之间的友情发生误解了，出现裂痕了。 我小时候，不止一次在别人家里见过这样的情形： 一个少女一回家就哭。 母亲问她怎么了。 她说：“她妈（或她爸）打她了！” 那么那个“她”，自然便是她的知心小姐妹。 小姐妹在家里挨打挨骂，她会难过得一回到自己家就哭起来。每一回忆，心为之感动。 不知今天的少女之间，是否还存在着那么样一种不是姐妹胜似姐妹的友情，那真是一种醇香如亲情的友情呢。 20世纪50年代少女之间的此种友情，验证了一条人性的逻辑——对于心灵而言，有空旷，就有本能的填补，无好坏之分。 20世纪50年代的中国，社会现象过于单调，因而世风相对较为淳朴。 20世纪50年代的中国少女，往她们空旷净静的心怀里填补的大抵是淳朴。 当然20世纪50年代也发生了冲击性极其猛烈的大事件，比如“反右”。但她们距这大事件甚远，不太能感受到它的猛烈性。只有父母受到危害的她们，才体会到祸殃自身的悲苦…… 打扮一个20世纪50年代的少女是极其简单的——一尺红或绿的毛线头绳儿，一件布拉吉（连衣裙），一双黑布鞋，足够了。只要布拉吉和黑布鞋是洗过了才穿上的，即使旧，也还是能使她们变得清清爽爽，灵灵秀秀的。有双白袜子穿更好，没有，也好。总之，当年那一种简朴到极点的少女的美，真是美极了，美极了。 20世纪50年代的少女，与今天的少女们相比较最主要的差别是——那一种心灵的自在，那一种心理的自然，那一种心事的简单，以及那一种日常心情的澄明透澈。她们并不太受普遍之清贫的影响。好比农人漫不经心地撒在土质不良的土地上的种子，竟也一片片长出秧苗，但是株茎细瘦，大多数难结饱满的穗。 20世纪50年代，中学毕业以后，她们就被视为名副其实的大姑娘了。在早婚的年代，女性的少女期是短暂的，短暂得几乎可以说稍纵即逝。20世纪50年代仍是早婚的年代。到了十八九岁，无论工作与否，如果自己不急于考虑婚事，父母们也会按捺不住地张罗着为她们东找婆家西找婆家。倘23岁以后还没嫁出去，那么就将被视为老姑娘了。而一个家庭若有一个老姑娘，那么父母愁死了，唯恐她被剩在家里。所以大姑娘也意味着一段短暂的年华。从结婚那天起就是小媳妇了。从大姑娘到小媳妇，短则三四年，长则五六载。20世纪50年代，二十来岁的小媳妇，即使在城市也比比皆是。 所幸她们对工作并不怎么挑拣，一般是份工作便高高兴兴地去上班。工资是全国平等的。脑体之间基本无差别，机关与行业之间基本无差别，行业与行业之间基本无差别，男女之间基本无差别。在此种种基本无差别的前提之下，对工作条件、工作环境、工作性质不满意的她们，虽也羡慕这些方面比她们幸运的别人，但一般不至于羡慕到怨天尤人、自暴自弃的程度。 上班的她们，普遍还买不起自行车。如果单位远，她们每天需6点多钟就离家。从居民区走到有马路的地方，才能挤上公共汽车。为了不迟到，她们常将工作服穿回家，第二天穿着工作服离家。那样就省下在厂里换工作服的时间了。 20世纪50年代，青年女性因有工作而自豪，所以穿工作服走在路上觉得挺神气。如果那工作体面，那厂是大厂，有名，则她们穿着工作服走在路上，不仅觉得神气，简直还往往觉得美气。她们穿那样的工作服，能吸引较高的回头率。向她们投以热烈目光的，当然都是小伙子。 她们中当护士的，无论冬夏，常喜欢将雪白的护士帽戴在头上。医院是被刮目相看的行业，戴了雪白护士帽的她们，自然也被刮目相看。那时她们就尤其显出大姑娘的矜持来。 餐饮行业也戴白帽子，与护士在医院里戴的白帽子区别不大。故有在小饭馆工作的她们，也戴了白帽子招摇过市，内心里乐于被路人看成大医院的护士，所谓“过把瘾”（但不死）。 当年有小伙子冲着一顶白帽子而苦苦追求小饭馆服务员的事，成了相声、小品和小说、戏剧中的喜剧情节。 她们上班时，邻家没有长大的女儿的母亲一出门碰上了她们，投在她们身上的目光是很复杂、很微妙的。那一种目光告诉她们，母亲心里在想——盼到哪一天自己的女儿也开始上班挣钱呢？她们每月十八元、二十几元的工资，对一个平民之家的经济补充非同小可。那时她们嘴上礼貌地问着好，内心里体会到极大的优越感。 如果是星期六，她们也会在厂里换下工作服回家。倘还是夏季，她们往往穿一件布拉吉。因为她们自己最清楚，布拉吉尤能显示出她们成熟又苗条的大姑娘的美好身段。也因为她们明白，一旦做了小媳妇，再穿布拉吉的机会便少了。小媳妇们一般是不公开穿布拉吉的。 于是许多母亲的目光，都会追随她们的身影久望，互相询问她们是哪条街上、哪个院里、哪一户人家的大姑娘。如果她的容貌比较漂亮，那么她的家便出名了。 女人们每每会情不自禁地这么说：“瞧人家那大姑娘长得喜人劲儿的！”出落得标致的大姑娘，仿佛是她家的“名牌”，是父母共同拥有的“专利”。但在20世纪50年代，她们并不特别具有“商品”的属性。20世纪50年代中国没有“大款”及“富豪”，故她们自己的头脑中，绝然不会产生通过“傍”或“嫁”而成贵妇的念头。她们的父母一般也不太会有指望经由她们的“流通”而改换门庭的不切实际的心思。20世纪50年代的父母不像现在的某些父母那么开通，如果她给自己找的丈夫和她父亲的年龄差不多，不管是不是真爱，不管那男人是处长还是局长，家