Chapter 33 Earn respect with independent thinking

People conform to the environment, but often end up becoming slaves of the environment.If we blindly cater to others in order to gain their acceptance in communication, it is often counterproductive, but if you insist on your own opinions, sometimes you will win the respect of others. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the most unconformist, said: "To be a true 'man,' one must first be a nonconformist. The integrity of your heart is inviolable... When I give up myself If you want to use someone else's point of view to look at something, you will make a mistake..." Emerson's words are undoubtedly a great shock to those who like to emphasize "looking at things from other people's point of view to enhance interpersonal relationships".

Perhaps, we can paraphrase Emerson's words as follows: "See things from the other person's point of view as much as possible, but don't lose your own point of view." If maturity can give you any good, it is to discover Believe in yourself and have the courage to live up to those beliefs - no matter what the odds. Most people are often afraid of being different.Whether it's dress, action, speech or thinking patterns, try to be in the same circle as you belong to.Children like to do the same things as people their age, and they care a lot about what their friends or playmates think of them.They need to be accepted by their peers - this is the most important proof of their existence.When we are in an unfamiliar environment and have no past experience to refer to, the best way is to conform to the standards of ordinary people-until our own experience and confidence are enough to give us strength, and then we can follow our own beliefs and standard to do.

Most people prefer to adapt to the environment, hide in the crowd to accept protection, and have no doubts about the opinions or orders of their superiors-they dare not do things differently.What they don't realize, however, is that this security is hypocritical.The public psychology is actually the most fragile and the easiest to be led by the nose.Like the pursuit of security, people conform to the environment, and often end up becoming slaves of the environment. Many people do not think independently for themselves when they reach adulthood.Although they have also become a little bit more "thinking", but what they think about are all innocuous things.And once they are allowed to really identify and judge some important things, their thinking ability becomes very limited.This kind of person will not consider, digest and absorb the suggestions provided by friends, and will only blindly accept them passively.Instead of going all the way to pursue something of real significance, it would be easier to sit back and enjoy the benefits. This is why this kind of person is too lazy to think.Therefore, when they find that they need to have the ability to judge, they have already degenerated due to the long-term loss of the ability to think and judge, so that they do not know how to learn this ability hard.Some people have even lost their pursuit of their own opinions because they have developed the habit of passively accepting other people's thinking results for a long time.

"If only I had started using my own judgment earlier!" This is the sigh of many people after reaching a certain age.Therefore, in order to avoid regret in the future, it is best to start independent judgment early.Of course, human judgment cannot always be correct, and there are occasional mistakes.However, taking the one with the fewest mistakes as the pointer is the constant method.What can make up for this mistake is continuous learning and interaction with people.However, you can't trust the two too much and swallow the jujube.For both are, after all, mere aids to the divinely endowed judgment.And good judgment comes from the ability to think independently and deeply.

Once a person decides to think for himself and starts to try, his views on things will change amazingly.Compared to seeing things the way we were taught, and mistaking abstract hallucinations for real things, our perception of everything now appears to be in order. For the thoughts that pop into your head, you must first re-evaluate whether it is really your own opinion.Although it takes a long time, it is worthwhile to develop the habit of using your own mind and thinking about things carefully.First of all, you have to review your current thoughts one by one, think about it, do you really think that way, or do you think according to what others tell you?Could it be prejudice or false belief?Just start thinking about these questions.If there is no prejudice, please use your own mind, listen to the opinions of various people, think about whether it is right or wrong, or what is wrong, and then synthesize all kinds of opinions to summarize your own views.

Rockefeller once said to his son: "Living differently from others is one of the necessary conditions for success, but very few people dare to try. Most of the important decisions I made have been criticized by friends. They All with good intentions. Such is the danger of what I am doing, the lack of hope of success, and the seriousness of my indiscretions. After I qualified as a lawyer, I went to work for a small, unremarkable firm. , and when he resigned from a big business, he was ridiculed by his colleagues. Our business today is a direct result of the decisions that were made at that time.”

It is not easy to stick to a principle that is not supported, or to accommodate a principle that is generally supported.It does take a lot of courage for a person who doesn't want to follow the crowd to stick to his beliefs when he is attacked.Dale Carnegie once said this: "Once I was at a social gathering and the conversation was turning to a recent issue. Everyone in the room agreed with a point of view, except for one man who disagreed. Asked his opinion directly, he smiled and said: "I hope you don't ask me, because I am on a different side from you, and this is a pleasant social gathering. But since you asked me, I Just say what you think.' Then, he briefly explained his views, and was immediately besieged by everyone. I saw that he firmly stood by his position and would not give in. As a result, although he did not convince others Agree with him, but win everyone's respect. Because he sticks to his own beliefs, he does not echo others' ideas."

Today, we live in an age full of experts.Because we have become so accustomed to relying on these experts' authoritative opinions, we gradually lose confidence in ourselves, so that we cannot express opinions or hold beliefs on many things.The reason these experts can take our place so easily is because we let them do so. Our current educational trend is designed for an established personality model, so it is difficult to train leadership talents in this way of education.Since most people are followers rather than leaders, although we need the training of leaders, we also need to train ordinary people how to consciously and intelligently follow the leadership.In this way, we will not blindly follow the trend.

Most people (male or female) don't realize that they are the greatest experts in the world - in themselves, in their families, or in their careers, they do certain things because of certain "experts" That being said, or because it is a fashion, following along can also join in the fun. And what we should do is: keep our true colors.Harlow Dass, President of Princeton University, delivered a speech on "The Importance of Being an Independent Individual" at the graduation ceremony of the students in 1955, pointing out: "Only when people find themselves, will they understand why they are here. Come to the world, what to do, where to go in the future, etc."

So, insist on your independence, be a person who does not follow blindly, can think independently, and has his own opinions!