Chapter 49 Bedtime: War or Peace

In many families, bedtime is a chaotic time, frustrating for both parents and children.With children wanting to go to bed as late as possible and parents wanting them to go to bed as soon as possible, nighttime becomes the parent's main nagging time, a time for the child to use tactics to escape. Preschoolers need Mom or Dad to tuck them in, and bedtime can be used to have intimate conversations with each child, so kids look forward to bedtime, and they love having "alone" time with Mom or Dad.If the parents listen carefully, the child will gradually learn to share his worries, hopes and wishes with the parents.These intimate touches can ease a child's restlessness and let them fall peacefully into a sweet sleep.

Some older children also like their parents to tuck them in. Their wishes should be respected and fulfilled. Parents should not laugh at or criticize them for these seemingly "childish" hopes.Older children can be flexible about bedtime: "Bedtime is eight to nine (or nine to ten), and you decide when you go to bed." The time is up to the child. It's best not to argue with your child when he says he "forgot" to go to the bathroom or that she wanted a glass of water, but if your child keeps asking you to go back to his room, say, "I know You wish I could spend a little more time with you, but it's time for Mom and Dad to be together." Or, "It would be nice if I could spend a little more time with you, but it's time for me to get ready for bed."