Chapter 19 Chapter 19 Ascending Communication - The Art of Talking to Your Superiors

If you are not familiar with the psychological characteristics of your superiors, you will not be able to have good emotional communication, and you will not be able to achieve emotional consistency. The working relationship between superiors and subordinates cannot completely ignore the emotional relationship.The psychological closeness and mutual help between the superior and the subordinate will reduce the friction and conflict between each other.On the contrary, if the emotional difference is very large, psychological collisions will inevitably occur, which will affect the working relationship.

According to social psychology research, communication frequency plays an important role in establishing interpersonal relationship.If you don't communicate with your superiors and adopt an evasive attitude, it is difficult to agree with your superiors.Without a consistent understanding, mutual support, coordination, and cooperation will be greatly affected.Therefore, familiarizing yourself with the superior's psychological characteristics is to better handle the working relationship, and you should not have personal motives and do what you like in order to please the superior.The work of the leader needs the support and help of the superior, and sometimes it is necessary to advise and persuade the superior for the common goal of the organization. These cannot be effective without good psychological communication.

Tang Taizong Li Shimin is a famous monarch in history.Wei Zheng is a confidant of Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty, who has always been used and trusted by Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty.But even so, Tang Taizong almost killed Wei Zheng because of the loss of face. Once when he went to the court, because of a trivial matter, Wei Zheng remonstrated in front of the civil and military criminals of the Manchu Dynasty, which made Tang Taizong blush and embarrassing.But Tang Taizong was still a clear and promising emperor after all, so it was not easy to get angry in court.But after retiring from the court, he shouted angrily: "One day I will kill this country bumpkin!" Empress Changsun asked him who he wanted to kill.Taizong said: "Wei Zheng often humiliated me in the court." Empress Changsun was shocked when she heard this, and she knew Taizong's temper, so she changed into a grand dress and congratulated Taizong for getting a loyal minister.Tang Taizong suddenly woke up and spared Wei Zheng from death.

However, after Wei Zheng's death, probably because the anger in his heart could not be dissipated for a long time, Tang Taizong still sent someone to push down Wei Zheng's tombstone.However, if Tang Taizong wasn't so wise, and didn't have such a big heart and magnanimity, I'm afraid Wei Zheng's head would have moved.The experience and lessons learned in this must be thought twice for those who are subordinates, and they should be taken as a warning. But all leaders pay great attention to their image in public.This is mainly out of the need to maintain their own authority.This need is made stronger and even indispensable by being publicly tested.If the opinions of subordinates embarrass the leader, even if he is out of good intentions, it will damage the prestige of the leader, and will affect the decision-making power and influence of the leader in decision-making, execution, supervision and other aspects.Once the leadership's prestige is damaged, the subordinates will have a little more doubts when dealing with the leadership's orders.This necessarily reduces the effectiveness of leadership power.The exercise of power must be based on effective obedience. Without obedience, power will have no name.Therefore, it is a better way to point out the mistakes of the leaders in private.

Originally, in daily interpersonal communication, people pointing out each other's faults should be the same as praising each other's achievements, which is gratifying.Because, for a person, being pointed out of his mistakes will make him more sober and calmer, so that he can reflect on the lessons and correct his mistakes. Take precautions.But praising a person's accomplishments in practice, even if it goes too far, never invites retaliation.But to point out a person's fault, don't say that the accusation is too much, as long as there is a slight hint or just touched on the appearance of this fault, it may cause dissatisfaction and even retaliation, let alone point out the fault of the boss.

In a modern enterprise, as an employee who is in the same boat as the company and a loyal and highly responsible subordinate to the boss, once he finds that the boss has made a mistake at work, he should not always turn a blind eye to it, adopt a wise and safe attitude, and let the boss continue to make mistakes , but must have the courage to point out at the right time.But we must be careful not to hurt the leader's face in front of everyone. Therefore, if you want to point out the fault of your boss, it is best to have a face-to-face conversation with the leader alone, and the place of conversation should not be in a public place.Because, in the absence of others, the two parties can often exchange views in a calm and orderly manner.The leader accepts your opinion without losing face. He is psychologically balanced.

The last thing to note is that once the leader accepts your opinion and improves his work, unless he announces it publicly, it is best not to mention to anyone that this is the result of your suggestion or correction. Superior leaders have different personality traits, and you cannot expect to communicate with them in a unified way.In view of the different personal characteristics, qualities, and self-cultivation of different superior leaders, you should treat them separately, and pay attention to adjusting the way you speak. If you meet a boss with a bold personality, it should be said that it is a matter of gratitude.As long as you can show your ability and outstanding work performance, there is absolutely no need to worry about not having opportunities for development.When talking to such a superior, maintain a flattering normalcy and adopt a tone of closeness.Be as straightforward as possible, because such people hate procrastination the most.But this does not mean to consider the simplification of the problem.The bold superiors are often broad-minded, allowing you to have an adaptation process at the beginning stage and forgive your knowledge, and you should also strive to develop this ability to express.

Arrogance means "putting on airs".Many proud bosses like to "show money".Unfortunately, one of your new bosses is the patriarch of "show money", which makes colleagues look down on him very much, but dares to be angry and dare not speak out. Smart people must understand that it is only a disadvantage to go against the boss.However, it is also impractical to adopt a "flattering" policy, because it depends on your luck.Most people like to wear a high hat, so it is not difficult to please the boss. The problem is, the power of big companies often changes rapidly, and it is not worthwhile to blindly flatter your boss.So, do you want to be a person who "obeys what you say"?In fact, as far as you are concerned, it is better to stick to your post and be an outlier than flattering and degrading your personality when dealing with an arrogant superior.In the communication process, you must keep the distance between you and do not say flattering words, because arrogant people tend to look down on self-deprecating people more.But he often has a respect for those who have always maintained their personal dignity.

In addition to finding fault with the work of subordinates, the most annoying thing about totalitarian bosses is that they will act like tyrants and even intervene in your private affairs.For example, you are not allowed to socialize with colleagues in other departments, you are not allowed to take English classes after get off work, and you are not allowed to hang out with colleagues in your spare time... If you are alone and weak, the smart way is to join forces with other colleagues and quietly To "revolution".If colleagues from other departments invite you to lunch, say yes, and go with your colleagues.Everyone may wish to communicate in public or private.Also, it's a good idea to have some fun together after get off work.And reciprocity is a must, so it's up to you to take the initiative.If your boss finds out and asks you about it, you can be blunt: "It's just social when we have lunch together."

Enhancing yourself is the most powerful weapon, so don’t give up taking courses in your spare time, the boss has no right to object; stick to the principle, even if the boss uses overtime to sanction you, don’t be afraid.However, the purpose of your resistance is only to fight for freedom and initiative, not to oppose the boss in official affairs, and it is not appropriate to criticize the centralization of power by the boss in front of other people, so as to avoid sequelae. Hard work and outstanding performance have only one purpose, and I hope that one day I will be appreciated by my superiors.But what annoys you is that when you meet a boss who is lazy and likes to fight for credit, you will be ten thousand unconvinced.Retiring at this point and finding another job is only a negative method, and starting everything from scratch is tantamount to re-arranging for a war, which is too much of a waste of ammunition.At the same time, shrinking back when encountering difficulties is doomed to make it difficult for you to climb the ladder of success.Stand tall and face the challenge!Generally speaking, when this kind of boss receives a major task, he must hand it over to you without thinking about it.When the task is completed, he will take it over again, explain to the boss, wipe away your hard work and sweat, and regard everything as the result of his own hard work, so as to win the trust and appreciation of the boss.

Of course you can't expose him face to face and reason with him, it will only put you at a disadvantage.Ideally, at each step, a witness is invited.Of course, it's not an open search, but intentional or unintentional, such as in front of the secretary, the purpose is to let someone know the ins and outs of the whole thing.Even if the ultimate credit is taken away by the boss, someone in the company must know the truth.One pass ten, ten pass one hundred, your goal can be achieved. You have a boss who bows down when he sees a high and steps down when he sees a low. He lacks a sense of responsibility in doing things, does not understand his subordinates, and is suspicious, which makes you full of complaints.Remember, you must never complain to colleagues in other departments, pointing out the faults of your boss, the so-called "family ugliness should not be spread outside".Besides, what can these colleagues do to help?You're giving them a great talking point, and that's only going to escalate things, never do you any good!Think about it, would a boss use an employee who backstabbed his boss?Even if you are a partner, you can't confide a complaint, so as to avoid giving people the opportunity to inform people in vain because of the stake.Even if the other party complains first, you should keep silent. So, how do you vent your dissatisfaction?Tell your boss directly!But first analyze the other person's personality and anticipate their reaction.For those who are conservative in thinking and have strong self-esteem, don't get straight to the point, you can only tell them in a tactful way.If the other party is more open-minded and broad-minded, you might as well make an appointment to express your innermost feelings one by one. I believe it will not be difficult to find a solution. Some bosses like to play with power, regardless of public and private.It just so happens that you meet such a boss who often asks you to do his personal affairs for him, which makes you very angry.All you have to do is to reject him tactfully, but on the premise of not affecting your future. Remember to say "no" first!For example, if your boss asks you to write a book report for his daughter, you must be absolutely unwilling, so tell him: "I'm sorry, I can't help you." If he asks you to do it after get off work, things will be easier, move out Reasons like this: "I have an appointment tonight, so I can't be late!" The next day, he asks you to do it again, you can find a suitable reason, and over and over again, he will retreat in spite of the difficulties, but what can you do? no.If this happened during working hours, you have more reasons, saying: "I still have three reports to write, and the boss said that I must finish them today!" or "I have never written a book report, let alone I There's a lot of work to do." Such a boss can be said to be a somewhat insidious boss. Because he is prone to revenge, he always tries to cut off the unsatisfactory people, but at the same time, he does not show his inner feelings, making it extremely difficult for people to guard against.So in this case, when communicating with him, you must show an image of being very hardworking but lacking in talent.Those who work hard are easy to get their favor, but they hide their talents and make them look down on you. Naturally, they won't guard against you if you look down on you, and they may even forget you.Of course, in the long run, you should plan to find another job. In short, different leaders have different work styles.How to adapt to their style of work, cooperate with their work, and give full play to their talents is inseparable from the proper use of language. The so-called interaction refers to the communication and exchange with the boss to achieve a certain degree of mutual assistance, complementarity, and mutual benefit; ways to jointly promote.Only in this way can I truly play the role of the upper management of the Shanghai Union and the subordinates of the employees.So, how can we achieve this interactive tacit relationship? Some bosses have a more reserved work style, and they often don't express their intentions so clearly when they speak, and they don't speak fully and clearly.At this time, we need to pay more attention to carefully understand the subtext in the words, so as to make our own judgments, so that it is possible to reach a certain tacit understanding with the boss. When the boss takes the initiative to ask for your own opinions, or when you have a certain opinion, you may wish to express your own opinions and put forward your own opinions.In this way, it is not only easy to generate communication and resonance between superiors and subordinates, forming a tacit understanding of interaction and complementarity, but also to reflect one's own talents, so as to win the opportunity to stand out. A company is going to recruit a group of new employees, and the task is assigned to the Human Resources Department.Ms. Wang, the supervisor of the human resources department, is a very shrewd woman.In order to make the recruitment activities more successful, submit it to the boss.After drawing up the work plan, she said to her boss: "Mr. Chen, when writing this work plan, I often think of the scene when I came to the company. I am not afraid of anything! I am especially eager to have a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, I hope to be able to Abandoning the feeling of working as a part-time job for employees, and publicly proposing the goal of 'grow with the company', so that everyone who applies for the job will feel motivated." The boss agreed very much when he heard it, and at the same time had a good opinion of Ms. Wang's ability. deeper understanding. In a sense, the boss relies on "lower affection" to grasp the overall situation and lead a group of people.Therefore, as subordinates, middle-level leaders should be able to sensitively notice various situations at work and among colleagues, and actively provide information to their superiors. wiggle room or opportunities for advancement. When the factory manager came to inspect, a workshop director kept complaining that "the place is too narrow, and it is difficult to even turn around."Unfortunately, he just complained, but did not express his opinion, which made the factory manager unhappy. The deputy director of the workshop is different. He said: "In my opinion, this is a problem with the placement of tools-you should find a special place to store tools. I noticed that the raw material warehouse over there can be divided into a ten How many square meters for a single room? I calculated it, and it only costs 1,000 yuan." As soon as the deputy director's words came out, the factory director immediately paid attention.Because he not only complained, but made specific suggestions.Soon, he was successfully promoted to workshop director. A celebrity once said: "For a certain boss, there is one thing you can never do, and that is to get too close to the throne. You must keep a safe distance from the boss." As a subordinate leader, you must squarely In the relationship with the superior leader, respect the superior.Generally, superior leaders have the mentality of maintaining a certain dignity and authority in front of subordinates.If the subordinate ignores the superior and speaks indifferently, it will arouse the resentment of the superior.Of course, the respect mentioned here does not mean being obedient and submissive to the superiors, but talking to the leaders with a mentality of asking for advice or discussing together, and convincing the superiors with a sincere attitude, strong evidence and sufficient facts. If you, as a subordinate leader, have a new idea and think that this idea is very beneficial to the company.At the same time, you may be promoted because of this good idea, so how do you put forward your idea?You can adopt a retreat-for-advance method, ask him for advice with a humble attitude, and ask him to correct your views.There are two reasons.First.You have to know that your boss may have more experience than you in this area, as long as you are not very good at it, you will give your boss the impression that you are out of class.Second, if you present your opinion without humility and appear defiant, then your boss will think that you want to show that you know more than him and keep him down!Therefore, you should politely ask questions like: Do you think it would be better and more appropriate for us to do this? If we do this, do you think it will be more cost-effective? In what areas do you think this program is still lacking? How do you see the reaction of customers if we do this? The suggested methods mentioned above can be used as a reference.Their advantage is that they will not hurt the self-esteem of the superior, and will not make him think that you are rude and rude, but will feel that your attitude is modest and cautious.If your idea is really feasible, it will naturally be accepted by your superiors, and you will be valued more. If your suggestion is not adopted, you should also say: "This is the reason why I ask you for advice. After all, you are rich in experience!" Such words can make you step down, and the superior is also very useful. Therefore, we must pay attention to maintaining an appropriate distance from our superiors, and on the basis of maintaining a certain distance, we can reach a certain mutual benefit relationship with the superiors, so that we can truly adapt to the requirements of the superiors, so that the superiors and subordinates can understand each other. Understanding and interpersonal understanding.The determination of this distance is mainly based on the character of the boss and the degree of recognition of interests, but in any case, more personal emotional factors cannot be tolerated. When you put in your best efforts year after year, day after day, and are diligent and loyal to the company, but you are not appreciated and praised by your superiors, have you ever thought about the reason?At this time, you may blame others.Full of complaints.But you must understand that this is not entirely the fault of the leader.Just imagine, how many people in the company need to be worried about by the leaders.Your "ignored" is also understandable.Therefore, you have to be a "voice person". When you have completed a very difficult task, you must first report to your leader to let him know that you have a good head and the ability to cut through messes quickly, not just eating dry food. Remember, don't wait for something to go wrong before you think of going to the leader.Leaders like competent subordinates.If you have always been shrewd and capable, even if you get into trouble, the leader will be lenient and forgive you.The most fearful thing is that every time you report to the leader, it is all bad news about "losing Maicheng".In this way, your impression in the mind of the leader must be very bad. The following points should be paid attention to when "reporting good news" to the leader: Instead of spending time and energy describing what you did, tell him the result first.Leaders are very busy, so they use limited time to report what the leaders care about most. This is called the "benefit selling method". Be as concise and to the point as possible, and remember to thank others before giving your own credit. If it is a written report, be sure to sign your own name. Don’t write a thousand words but forget to add your own name, or put all the names of your direct supervisors and leaders, but leave out your own. Not "fall short". After the report is over, don't ask for a reward immediately, just leave a good impression on the leader.Otherwise, the leader may feel that you are too eager for quick success.As long as you win the affirmation of the leader time and time again, over time, the achievements will come naturally, and you will always have your share in promotion. In addition to reporting to your leader, it is best to tell your colleagues and subordinates the good news at the same time and let them share it. This will not only improve popularity, but also create "public opinion" and let others perceive your "sparkling point". After making the cake, you have to think about squeezing the flowers. With the beautiful cream flowers, the cake will naturally win people's favor.Don't forget to report to the leader at any time, that is to squeeze flowers on your own cake and let the leader cheer for you. Around us, it is not uncommon for generals to be inferior to pawns and rulers to be inferior to ministers, and it is also common for capable soldiers to be suppressed and strangled by mediocre generals.If you are a smart pawn, but meet an incompetent general; or even if your boss is not an incompetent general, then he is not an omnipotent god, and he cannot solve some problems, what should you do at this time ?As a responsible subordinate, when you find that your boss has made a wrong decision, you should give him advice and suggestions from the perspective of safeguarding the interests of the company.But how to "advise" the boss to achieve the desired effect? For those subordinates who dare to speak out, the headache for the boss is often not how unacceptable their opinions are, but the way the subordinates put forward their opinions makes them unbearable. For example, in this case, "Manager, what you just said is completely wrong, I think things should be handled this way..." or "Manager, I don't agree with your approach, I think it should be..." You put the boss's idea Or if you try to kill him with a stick, needless to say he is your leader, even ordinary colleagues and friends are very difficult to accept.If you make your boss feel uncomfortable, the boss will naturally have a grudge against you.The chances of your opinion being adopted are slim to none. So how to make your boss accept your suggestion happily? "Zuo Zhuan Zhaogong Twenty Years" says: "The ministers can give up their offerings." It means that the ministers should suggest to the king that they should replace what should not be done with feasible ones.When subordinates "advise" their superiors, they offer more "yes" and less "no", which includes two meanings: first, they should explain their views more from the front; second, they should negate and criticize less from the negative The opinions of the boss even have to deliberately avoid direct conflicts with the opinions of the boss through roundabout methods. For example: You are a department manager of a company, and according to the development of the business, you need to be assigned a deputy in charge of the business.At this time, you want to promote a subordinate who understands the business and has experience to take up the position, but the boss is going to send a layman who does not understand the business from other departments to the position.In this case, you can use the topic more on the conditions that the deputy manager of the department should have and the conditions that the candidate you have already possessed, instead of refuting the candidate proposed by the boss. This can not only avoid direct conflict with the boss, but also keep the topic on the candidate you mentioned. The "under the table" and "desktop" here refer to informal occasions and formal occasions, private conversations and public exchange of views.The so-called "many, under the table, less, on the table" means that subordinates should make more use of informal occasions and less formal occasions when giving advice to their superiors; try to talk with their superiors privately and avoid public comments to their superiors.Doing so can not only leave room for maneuver, even if you make a mistake in making an opinion, it will not damage your image in the eyes of the public, but also help maintain the personal dignity of the boss, so that the boss will not fall into passivity and embarrassment. Professor Robinson of the United States once said such a very enlightening sentence: "People sometimes change their opinions naturally, but if someone says he is wrong in public, he will be annoyed, become more stubborn, and even defend himself wholeheartedly. It’s not that the opinion itself is so precious, but that his self-esteem is threatened.” Robinson’s words tell us that everyone has self-esteem, and everyone has the instinct to maintain their dignity.As a subordinate, even when "advising" the boss, don't forget to maintain the dignity of the boss. Carnegie once said: "If you just make suggestions and let others draw their own conclusions, making him feel that the idea is his own, wouldn't it be smarter?" It means to "advise" the boss not to point out the mistakes of the boss directly or to make your so-called correct decision for the boss on behalf of the boss, but to explain the decision and opinion to the boss by guiding, probing, and asking for opinions. It does not conform to the actual situation, so that the boss can naturally make the correct decision you want to say after referring to the information and information of the suggestion you put forward. Many practices have also shown that people often believe more firmly in their own opinions than those imposed on them by others.Therefore, as a smart subordinate, if you want to turn your own views into the ideas of your boss, you should only do a good job of guiding, making suggestions, and providing information in many cases. The conclusions contained in it are best left to the boss to decide. . Some bosses like to be stubborn, always think that their views are correct, and never take the opinions of their subordinates to heart.Even if his idea is proved to be wrong afterwards, he will always find various reasons to excuse himself.In the face of such a boss, you must not directly impose your views on him, but subtly hide your intentions and use indirect methods.For example: using the method of asking for advice, first put the boss in a higher position, so that the boss can feel valued, and eliminate the boss's psychological resistance.In this case, the attitude of the boss is often easier to change. There is a vanity in human nature to accept praise.People despise those flatterers, but when those compliments float to their ears, it is very comfortable! Some bosses sometimes make wrong decisions due to their stubborn opinions, and the subordinates have the responsibility to remind and persuade the boss to make the boss change his mind.This is not only the love for the boss, but also the performance of duty and responsibility for the work.For the subordinates, it may not be difficult to find out the problems of the boss, but the difficulty lies in daring to raise them face to face. You can grasp a place in the boss's opinion that you agree with, and give affirmation and appreciation.Praising your boss implicitly will increase your relationship with your boss and shorten the distance with your boss.Praising the boss is the recognition, support and praise of the boss, and it is the "lubricant" for the relationship between the subordinates and the boss.There is no boss who doesn't like to hear compliments.The leader is the "captain" of the team and needs everyone's encouragement and applause. However, although some people have always been "positive" in praising their bosses, they don't pay attention to the method. Not only the boss doesn't like to hear it and dare not accept it, but even their colleagues feel disgusted when they hear it. Not only does it not achieve results, but it also offends others .This requires you to grasp the skills of praise when you praise your boss. So, how to do it without revealing it? Complimenting your boss is best done in a "public" tone while incorporating your own compliments. A manuscript by editor-in-chief Liu of a certain newspaper was published in a certain newspaper, and Xiao Zhang praised it without losing the opportunity: "Editor Liu, everyone is learning from your reports? We all think that your reporting angle is unique, and everyone wants to ask you for advice. "Editor Liu was very happy after hearing this. When praising your boss, you should use "neutral" words as much as possible, and you must not abuse adjectives and adverbs.Be sincere and sincere.If you say "most, most, most" and shut up "very, very, very", it will inevitably make your boss feel that you are exaggerating, and that you are more vain and insincere. A leader often writes speeches by himself, and occasionally when the secretary prepares the manuscript for him, he also tells the secretary the "path" of the manuscript in advance for the writer's reference.Therefore, the secretary often said to him: "As a leader like you, we are almost unemployed." "People say that writing manuscripts is hard work, but writing manuscripts for you is a beautiful job." Since the praise was appropriate, the leader happily accepted it every time.If the secretary said: "You are really capable!" "No other leader can compare to you." Then the leader must not be able to accept it, and there will be no good results. For the method of praise, direct praise and indirect praise can be used together.Direct praise mainly refers to "speaking directly" to the boss.Praise in person.If the boss has just finished the report, he will take the initiative to ask you about your impression of the report.Then you can use appropriate language and give direct praise in a down-to-earth manner, and don't deal with it with words like "it's okay" or "just enough". A certain city held a tourism on-site meeting, and the leader in charge of tourism had once been engaged in Chinese education.The leader quoted extensively in his speech, and the language was very humorous.Everyone thought that his speech was of a high level and reflected the actual situation of the city's tourism work.After the meeting, the leader asked a reporter who was interviewing him: "What do you think of my speech today?" "How did the audience respond?" The reporter replied: "Your speech today is very accurate. The current situation of the city has been introduced to everyone, and the prospect of future development has also been shown to everyone. We are all very encouraged!" The leader was relieved by the journalist's well-placed praise.This is easier to accept than direct compliments such as "Your speech is really good!" "Your speech is wonderful!" and so on.Indirect praise also includes praise in a roundabout way when the boss is praised face to face.As in the above example, you can pass on everyone's reactions after listening to the report to your boss, which is both direct and indirect praise. When it comes to complimenting your boss, it's important to praise what your boss really cares about.If your boss doesn't care about things, you will inevitably be hated if you praise them endlessly.For example: the first public speech of the new boss; the decision made by the boss that has been proved to be completely correct; the success of a certain job that the boss has recently achieved;These are often things that the boss cares about and can be properly praised. Director Li of a certain bureau likes to drive, often drives by himself, and is willing to talk about his driving skills.Once, the chief driver, Xiao Zhang, accidentally twisted his waist while driving.Director Li let Xiao Zhang take the car and drove by himself.At that time, it was the rush hour for vehicles and the traffic was heavy on the road, but Director Li drove steadily and not slowly.At this moment, Xiao Zhang said, "Director, I never thought that your driving skills are so good, and you can drive so fast under such circumstances, even better than a professional driver." Director Li was very happy with this sincere compliment, and exaggerated Xiao Zhang's foresight. Compliments in front of your boss' relatives capture what they have in common.For example: Li Jun went to the director's house as a guest, and the director and his wife warmly received him.So Li Jun seized on the enthusiasm and hospitality of the director and his wife in handling interpersonal relationships and praised them greatly.In front of the leader's superiors, you must prudently praise your leader, and don't mix right and wrong into it, which is self-defeating.In communicative occasions, praise the boss for succinct language and play the role of "selling" the leader. In short, praise to the boss should be moderate and vary from person to person.Of course, as a subordinate, don't be complacent about being able to praise your boss, and don't worry about not being familiar with it.Because, the key to determine the success or failure of your career is not whether you will praise. Subordinates must show great patience in dealing with a stubborn boss.Because of the boss's stubbornness, it is not easy to convince the boss. Generally speaking, this kind of stubborn boss hates subordinates standing on the opposite side to find fault and correct themselves.Therefore, if you want to persuade your boss to change your mind, you must pay attention to your own foothold. We must start from the standpoint of caring and loving, and we must show that we are wholeheartedly thinking about the boss.Get closer to your bosses in terms of thoughts and feelings, and put yourself in the shoes of your boss.By helping the boss, the boss can understand the sincerity and kindness of the subordinates, and feel from the heart that the subordinates are "sitting in the same boat" with him and need to help each other.In this way, the ideological and emotional resonance paves the way for the subordinates to persuade, and the subordinates' persuasion becomes easier to accept. At the same time, the attempt of persuasion should not be too explicit, and it is not advisable to speak directly to the boss.An effective method is to address specific issues, state more factual materials and your own opinions, and let the facts speak for themselves. Officers and soldiers from the first company of a certain unit assisted the local TV station in filming a documentary.Due to time constraints, they worked overtime to shoot at noon one day.When the team leader arrived at the scene, he was very annoyed when he found that he was missing a few props. In front of the whole company, he criticized the company commander for his poor work organization, which affected the shooting.The company commander couldn't hold back his face anymore, so he justified a few words.The head of the regiment became even more angry, saying that he had no leadership, ordered him to write a review, and punished him.Staff Officer Ding who accompanied him felt that the regiment leader had gone too far.In the afternoon, he asked the head of the group to report the situation, but the head of the group insisted on his opinion.So Staff Officer Ding first pointed out that the company commander really shouldn't contradict the regiment commander face to face, saying that the company commander was young and energetic, and criticized the company commander, and then said: "I have understood the situation, and the company did not bring all the props because of the arrangement. The people who used the props didn’t explain it clearly, so it’s not all their responsibility. Later, the director made a remedy, so it didn’t affect the shooting. And you criticized him so harshly in front of the whole company’s soldiers, how do you ask him to lead the troops in the future?” In the evening, the head of the regiment went to the company with Staff Ding.He said to the company commander: "I was a little impatient today, and I misunderstood you." The company commander was very moved and also reviewed his own problems. Patiently stating the facts has great persuasive power.As long as you can pay a certain amount of patience and explain repeatedly to your boss, so that the boss can realize his own mistakes, you can receive obvious persuasive effects.You can't blindly confront your boss head-on, that will only irritate your boss, make your boss have more opinions on your subordinates, strengthen the wrong ideas in your boss's mind, and increase the difficulty of resolving your boss's stubbornness. Most people think that as long as they perform well and do a good job, sooner or later it will be heard by their superiors.Unfortunately, this is often not the case, and it is possible that you are doing a great job and no one else knows. Therefore, we must not only do well, but also speak well, so as to be appreciated by our superiors.So, how do you say that you can get the appreciation of your boss? This is the most effective way to deal with your boss.Point out the advantages of the boss in other public places and let him know; do not forget to tell colleagues and higher leaders when you have achievements, which is also a credit to the boss; Tell the boss the information, and he will put it forward; don't tell the whole plan, but leave room for the boss to express his opinions.In short, let the boss feel his dignity and importance everywhere. Most bosses want to know about various aspects of their subordinates, such as someone's mother is sick and hospitalized, someone's birthday is on a certain day, and so on.After the boss understands these situations, moderately expressing concern can increase the sense of intimacy with the employees.It's worth noting that what your boss needs to know isn't that you're maliciously attacking or revealing someone's secrets, or asking you to tip him off.When talking about colleagues with your boss, you can only talk about the strengths of your colleagues.This will help you establish a good relationship with your colleagues and let your boss see that you are decent and credible. Bosses often sit alone in the office after employees leave work.Bosses are also human beings, and they will also feel depressed when faced with work pressure, and they will also have a hard time learning about family life.Bosses can sometimes appear vulnerable and likewise want to be comforted by others.But if you unscrupulously inquire into his privacy, or even advise him, then you are flattering the horse.Know that even when your boss is most vulnerable, he only seeks moderate care. A cup of hot tea is enough to make your boss think you are a good and considerate subordinate.You can also tell a hilarious joke to your boss at will to relieve his depression, and he will thank you from the bottom of his heart.Remember, to really love your boss, the starting point should be to love rather than use. Although many bosses have never objected to the flattery of their subordinates, they prefer people who are down-to-earth and decent.If you do everything that your boss tells you in an orderly manner, and then say a few words that your boss likes to hear, your boss will want to get close to subordinates like you more than those who only brag and flatter horses but don't do practical things. When getting along with your boss, you should bravely meet the boss's gaze instead of evasive; you can exchange views with him frankly, as long as you don't hide or exaggerate; Work as hard as you can, and strive to be the best subordinate.After doing this, do you still worry about your boss not appreciating you? Salary increase and promotion are always the most concerned topics in the workplace, and they are also thorny issues.Many people are not bad performers or incompetent, they are just bad at presenting themselves.Today's business owners are so busy with business that it is impossible to keep an eye on your performance all the time.As an employee, it is necessary to express yourself proactively and in a timely manner.Only in this way can the desired effect be achieved.Of course, everyone's way of expression will be different, the key point is to express yourself skillfully. A salary increase is what Xiao Li has been longing for for a long time.In terms of seniority, he has been working in the factory for four years. He thinks that his work attitude is good and he has not made any mistakes, but the boss has no intention of giving him a salary increase at all. Xiao Li felt that his own value was not reflected, and he was very upset.He had hinted at the boss many times at the work summary meeting, but the boss didn't respond at all.Asking him to make this request to the boss clearly, he felt embarrassed and afraid of being rejected, but he was not reconciled if he didn't say anything. In the end, he mustered up the courage and explained his meaning to the boss tactfully.Unexpectedly, after watching him work for a few weeks, the boss really raised Xiao Li's salary. It was as simple as that.Xiao Li believes that as long as it belongs to his legitimate rights and interests, he should work hard to fight for them. Of course, when asking the boss for a salary increase, you must also pay attention to skills. For example, state your intentions to the boss in a discussing and confiding tone.The boss will be very attentive to listen and ask you about work problems, and may end up giving you a raise. In fact, the relationship between the boss and employees is equal.As long as you think a raise is justified, you have the right to ask for it. But you must pay attention to the way you speak. It is best to convey your intentions to the boss skillfully and skillfully. Even if you are not accepted by the boss, it will not cause the two parties to fall into an awkward situation and affect their future relationship. In terms of the relationship between action and status, some people think that only when there is status, power, and power can one do something.The fact is that there can be status only after deeds have been done.There are two reasons: (1) The boss generally evaluates the employee's ability, conduct and attitude through the performance of the employee.Therefore, for employees, if they want to succeed in the workplace, they have no other way but to excel in their own work. (2) Employees who work with real skills will be recognized by others and easily respected by colleagues.This is a powerful guarantee for you to make achievements in new and higher positions. Units with a standardized salary system will evaluate employees fairly and objectively.They will pay attention to the growth and progress of each employee, job exchanges, professional training and even exceptional employment, etc., which happen from time to time in such units.Every capable employee who works diligently believes that there is room for advancement waiting for him.Their work is more active and proactive, and there is no need for employees to pursue it deliberately or to think hard about whether to ask the boss for a salary increase. People in the workplace, if they have done something, they will have a status, and not only the salary will increase, but also the personal ability and quality. There are also some people who believe that directly asking the boss for a salary increase is mainly determined by their own "confidence".Formal business owners with development potential are generally more open-minded. As long as you have real talents and learning, you must be full of confidence. The boss will naturally be willing to raise your salary according to your contribution; if you lack confidence, you may even have few achievements.Not to mention the salary increase, it is also difficult to keep the seat.If you meet those stingy bosses, you have to believe in an old saying, that is, "If you keep the green hills, you will not be afraid of no firewood." I don't have enough confidence, I know best.Without confidence, there is no mention of a salary increase.Therefore, the prerequisite for a salary increase is to have confidence.What is the confidence?That is, your usual work performance and the efforts you have made for the development of the company.With all of this, your confidence will naturally come up.It is up to you whether to mention a salary increase or not, but one thing is certain, you will get a salary increase sooner or later, because the eyes of the masses are discerning. A survey once showed that 30% of lower-level leaders were reluctant to approach superior leaders because they were afraid of being "flattered", which created obstacles for mutual understanding between superior leaders and subordinate leaders.In fact, any subordinate leader hopes that the superior understands himself.Only when superiors understand themselves can they gain the trust and appreciation of superiors.Indeed, obtaining the understanding and trust of the superior is the key to a good relationship with the superior. From the perspective of superior leaders, it is natural to take the initiative to approach subordinates in order to achieve mutual understanding.However, some superior leaders are busy with work and do not have much time; some superior leaders put on airs and do not want to approach their subordinates;Therefore, it is difficult to rely solely on the efforts of the superiors.As a subordinate, you should also take the initiative to move closer to the superior leader as much as possible, so as to gain the superior's understanding of yourself.Without understanding, there can be no trust.The purpose of striving for the superior's understanding of oneself is to arouse the superior's attention and support for the work. When approaching the superior and communicating with the superior, certain methods must also be mastered: When a subordinate asks his superior for instructions on a certain task, in addition to choosing the right time, he must repeatedly emphasize, sometimes needing to slap his lips many times, so that the superior knows the matter from ignorance to deep knowledge, from ignorance to indifference. "Hang up the number", and then to strong support. This method is often used as an auxiliary remedy when "positive requests" are ineffective, especially for kind-hearted and self-respecting superiors.For example, the same level as the superior, other subordinates who are highly valued by the superior, old friends of the superior, and even family members of the superior can all be used as objects to intercede for you. However, there are a few issues to be aware of during this process: It is generally not advisable to leapfrog the superior in charge to avoid distrust of him; choose intercessors and do not choose eloquent people who are not appreciated by superiors; it is not appropriate to use intercessors There are too many people and the scope is too wide, so as to avoid the illusion and misunderstanding of your superiors that you are putting pressure on him. This method can be used for indecisive and slow-moving superiors, exerting a certain amount of mental pressure on them, making them feel that in the face of the trend, only by following your opinions can they eliminate the psychological burden, avoid the danger of falling behind or dereliction of duty, and thus change their attitudes .For different superiors, different urging methods can be used.For superiors with serious "only superior" thinking, they can emphatically cite the documents and instructions of higher-level leadership departments; for superiors with serious "book-only" thinking, they can emphatically quote important articles in newspapers and books; they have a strong sense of "realism" The superior should focus on citing reliable information data and factual materials. Criticism and accusations from the boss at work are unavoidable. No one likes to be criticized, especially when the boss criticizes himself.This will only increase the boss's anger and invite more violent criticism.The correct approach should be to calm down, let the boss finish the sentence, reflect on his own mistakes, recognize the shortcomings pointed out by the boss, and understand the painstaking efforts of the boss. The opportunity to vent his anger also saved his own face. At work, it is of course troublesome to be criticized suddenly by your superiors, and it will have a great impact if you don't handle it well.To deal with criticism from your boss, you must first figure out why your boss criticized you. When a superior criticizes his subordinates, sometimes he finds a problem and promotes correction; sometimes it is out of a need to adjust the relationship, telling the criticized not to be too self-righteous; Distance; sometimes it is "killing one to warn others", so that people who should not be criticized are criticized... After figuring out why your boss criticizes you, you can grasp the situation and deal with it calmly. When being criticized by your boss, you need to show a sincere attitude, and you have really accepted and learned something from the criticism.The last attitude you should take is indifference.What annoys your boss the most is that you take his words as "heard wind".Few leaders consider criticizing others a hobby.Since criticism, especially reprimand, is easy to hurt, so he also has to be serious.Once you criticize others, there will be another issue of authority and dignity. If you ignore his criticism and go your own way, the consequences may be worse than confronting him face to face. Some smart subordinates are good at using criticism, because they know that correct criticism is justified, and wrong criticism also has its acceptable starting point.That is to say, only by being criticized can you understand your boss, and only by accepting criticism can you show respect for your boss. Therefore, don't be unconvinced and complain about criticism.Even misguided criticism can turn to your advantage if you handle it well.However, if you are not convinced and complain, then the negative effects of your actions are enough to widen the distance between you and your boss and deteriorate the relationship.When your boss thinks that you are "unable to criticize", it also thinks that you are "unable to be promoted". Not to mention receiving one or two criticisms with your entire future and destiny, feeling that everything is over and discouraged.If you are criticized or reprimanded, you will be devastated and unable to cheer up, which will make your boss look down on you. If you behave in such a way, your boss may not criticize or accuse you any more in the future, and similarly, you will no longer be trusted and reused. When being criticized by the boss, it is unnecessary to pester and argue repeatedly, hoping to make things clear.What if there is a misunderstanding?You can find a chance or two to express your love, and click it.Even if your boss doesn't rehabilitate you, there's absolutely no need to pester you.This kind of fussy subordinate is not appreciated by the boss.If your purpose is only to avoid criticism, of course you can "not give up an inch of land, and fight for an inch of reason."However, how can a person who has exhausted his superiors be promoted? Being criticized or even reprimanded will affect you emotionally, self-esteem, and in the eyes of people around you to a certain extent, but if you handle it well, you will not only get compensation, but even receive more favorable results.On the contrary, too much pursuit of clarifying the right and wrong will make people feel that you are narrow-minded and unable to withstand any misunderstanding, then people can only be wary of you. It is normal for a boss to criticize his subordinates, but sometimes there are improper criticisms. What do you do in the face of such criticism?切记，第一，千万不要激怒上司；第二，千万不要过于忍让，以免上司变本加厉。 李小姐是一家公司的代办处资源主管，她的上司常常当着其他同事的面批评她，让她很难受。后来她约上一个时间，和上司私下谈，她直接对上司说：“你是主管，可以批评我的工作，但是请您不要说得让我觉得一无是处。” 这位上司以后不仅不再当众指责她，反而因为她的态度坦诚而尊重她了。 有人可能会想，我哪里敢这样与上司说话啊！但是，根据心理学研究：一个人感到地位受到威胁，就可能拿出自卫的本事——否认、不同意、认为不公平。有时候作为下属会感到上司对自己的批评是没有道理的，可是为了自己的职位，表面上还是接受了。 不过，随着批评的增多，上司与下属之间的抵触感会越来越大，这对双方都不利。 这种委屈求全不是好办法。事实上，大多数领导还是能听意见的，关键在于你的方式。 小王是一家投资银行的经理助理。经理平常只注意他的缺点，而且经常责骂、埋怨他。小王很不情愿地忍住怒气，但是自尊心受到了相当大的伤害，以至有点怀疑自己是否能力不够。他请教了一位老专家，得到了一个好办法。 小王问经理是否能在每周五早上抽出一点时间听他汇报一周来的工作。，第一次汇报时，小王说：“我尽力要把份内的工作做好，可是您一再说我做得不对，我渐渐没有自信了。我希望以后您能在每周这个时候把我犯的错误都指明，并且指示我该怎样改进。有什么地方做得对了，也希望经理您告诉我。” 起初经理写了满满一张表，都是小王的错处，但是几次汇报之后，经理的态度慢慢变了。有一次他说：“我原来一直没注意，你的工作成绩是相当不错的。”又有一次，他说自己是犯了“求好心切”的毛病，因而对小王太苛刻了一点。 如果你很不幸，你的上级是一个爱鸡蛋里挑骨头或存心不良的人，这时该怎么办呢？ 听见上司出言不逊，你要以平静的态度来回答，表示无论遇到什么样的困难，你都愿意为你的工作负责，说出你对这份工作的看法。你可以直接对上司说：“我不同意……'依照我的判断……'话虽如此，我却认为……”如果他的态度更加恶劣，强行打断你的话，你就说：“我觉得这件事很重要，所以希望能说清楚。可是这样吵法是讲不清的，我过一个小时再来。”一开始你会觉得这样做很难，但是你要以自己的感觉为考虑重点，不要去想他的反应，只要你能固守这个原则，化解他的恶劣态度是迟早的事。 假如领导对你暗中含有恶意，经常拿你来开玩笑、讽刺你，背后讲你的坏话，你可以想法子让他把这躲在暗处的行为带到明处，或设法终止他的恶劣行径。假如经理背着你和别的同事开玩笑地说你“贪小便宜”。你可以私下找到他，问他：“您开玩笑说我会贪小便宜，我不知道您是说着玩的还是当真的。您是说着玩的吗？”记住。你结尾的一句话，必须使对方非回答不可。如果他说：“我不是说着玩的。”最起码他是在“明处”表示态度了。如果他说，是开玩笑罢了，你可以保持平静地说，你不喜欢当着同事的面，被作为开这种玩笑的对象。无论如何，你已达到制止他鬼祟行为的目的了。对于这种有损尊严和无视事实的批评，一定要及早用语言表示反对，以免事态不可收拾。 领导委托你做某事时，你要善加考虑，这件事自己是否能胜任？是否不违背自己的良心？然后再做决定。如果只是为了一时的情面，即使是无法做到的事也接受下来，这种人的心似乎太软。你自觉实在是做不到的事，就应明确地表明态度，说：“对不起！我不能接受。”这才是真正有勇气的人。否则，你就会误大事。 领导所说的话有违道理，你可以断然地驳斥，这才是保护自己之道。假使领导欲强迫你接受无理的难题，这种领导便不可靠，你更不能接受。 尽管部下是隶属于领导，但部下也有他独立的人格，不能什么事都不分善恶是非都服从。部下并不是奴隶。倘若你的领导以往曾帮过你很多忙，而今他要委托你做无理或不恰当的事，你更应该毅然地拒绝。 此外，限于能力，无论如何努力都做不到的事，也应拒绝。但是这有一个前提，即是否真的做不到，切不可因怀有恐惧心而不敢接受。 当然，拒绝更要讲究方法，采用什么办法才能让上司接受，这里面也是很有学问的。 当领导提出一件让你难以做到的事时，如果你直言答复做不到时，可能会让领导损失颜面。这时，你不妨说出一件与此类似的事情，让领导自觉问题的难度，而自动放弃这个要求。 当上司提出某种要求而属下又无法满足时，设法造成下属已尽全力的错觉，让上司自动放弃其要求，也是一种好方法。 比如，当上司提出不能满足的要求后，就可采取下列步骤先答复：“您的意见我懂了，请放心，我保证全力以赴去做。” 过几天，再汇报：“这几天×××因急事出差，等下星期回来，我再立即报告他。” 又过几天，再告诉上司：“您的要求我已转告×××了，他答应在公司会议上认真地讨论。”尽管事情最后不了了之，但你也会给上司留下好感，因为你已造成“尽力而做”的假象，上司也就不会再怪罪你了。 通常情况下，人们对自己提出的要求，总是念念不忘。但如果长时间得不到回音，就会认为对方不重视自己的问题，反感、不满由此而生。相反，即使不能满足上司的要求，只要能做出些样子，对方就不会抱怨，甚至会对你心存感激，主动撤回已让你为难的要求。 例如，你被上司要求做某一件事时，其实很想拒绝，可是又说不出来，这时候，你不妨拜托其他两位同事，和你一起到上司那里去。这并非所谓的三人战术，而是依靠集团替你作掩护来说“不”。 首先，商量好谁是赞成的那一方，谁是反对的那一方，然后在上司面前争论。等到争论过一会儿后，你再出面轻轻地说：“原来如此，那可能太牵强了。”而靠向反对的那一方。 这样一来，你可以不必直接向上司说“不”，就能表明自己的态度。这种方法会给人“你们是经过激烈讨论后，绞尽脑汁才下结论”的印象，而包含上司在内的全体人士，都不会有哪一方受到伤害的感觉，从而上司会很自然地