Chapter 6 5. Learn more from the successful experience of others

Quote: Whenever you're feeling intimidated, ask yourself, "If they've all been successful, why can't I?" Everyone wants to speak eloquently in front of everyone, and has an enviable conversational skill.But many people end up complaining like this: "I also know that I need to muster courage, but when I want to speak, it seems that it is not easy to do." This problem is what most people will encounter when speaking. question.So, let's talk about how to have courage. Mr. Gu Liqu, chairman of Gu Liqu Company, came to my office one day.He said to me: "I have never been afraid to speak up in my life. But as the chairman, I have to chair the meeting. Although I have known the directors for many years, when I stand up and speak, I Just can't say a word. It's been years since I've been that way, and I'm so sick. Mr. Carnegie, I find it hard to believe that you can help me out of it."

"In that case, why are you still looking for me?" I asked him. "This is because of such a thing happened." Mr. Gu Liqu replied, "One of my accountants turned out to be a shy guy. Before he walked into his office, he had to go through my office. Before he All looking at the floor, not saying a word, and tiptoeing past my office. But recently, that has changed. Now he keeps his jaw up, his eyes sparkle, and he says hello to me , which surprised me. I asked him: 'Who changed you?' He told me 'Mr. Carnegie.' I came to you because I couldn't believe it."

"If you want to change like this accountant," I told him, "you can take regular classes." "If you can really make me talk without being afraid," said Mr. Gulliver, "I shall be the happiest man I can be." Sure enough, Mr. Gu Liqu came to participate in our training.In fact, he's making rapid progress. One day three months later, I invited him to a party of 3,000 people in the ballroom of the Astor Hotel, and invited him to talk to the guests about the experience of attending Carnegie's eloquence training class.He was sorry to say he couldn't come because he had an important appointment scheduled.But, the next day, he called me again and said, "Mr. Carnegie, I've canceled my appointment. I must come to this party because I owe you that. I'm going to tell people the Carnegie Eloquence Class for me. It has really turned me into the happiest person in the world. I hope my story can inspire people to let go of the fear that takes their lives away."

At the party, Mr. Gu Liqu talked to 3,000 people for more than 10 minutes, but I only asked him to talk for 2 minutes.When the audience was moved by his wonderful speech, who would have thought that he would be terrified when he spoke? If you wish to be like Mr. Gu Liqu, you too can master this art in a short time.In fact, as Mr. Gu Liqu wanted to tell people in his speech, you can fully realize from his experience that speaking is not a difficult thing.That said, you can use his experience to build your own courage.When you can't speak because of fear, you can think: "Since Mr. Gu Liqu can do it, I can do it too."

When we talk to those important people, conduct business negotiations, or even just in ordinary conversations with people, if you feel very shy, you can borrow other people's experience to summon up your courage; at different times, you can Think of corresponding stories to achieve the purpose of mustering up your courage. I once conducted a survey of those good talkers, and found that almost all of them were shy at one time, and even now—as I said earlier—when they express their opinions, negotiate or persuade The nervousness has not been completely eliminated.Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate who moved freely in the social arena, often said to people: "Although I am shy by nature, I try to make myself a good talker."

I hope you will have the opportunity to visit my home and I will show you the thank you notes I have received from all over the world.Some of the people who wrote the letters were business leaders, some were governors, members of Congress, university presidents and stars in the entertainment industry, and more were business executives, workers, union members, college students, housewives, pastors, etc. They are ordinary people who are unknown to the public. What they have in common is that they all feel that they need to express their opinions and communicate with others in order to be understood and accepted by others, but they lack enough courage and self-confidence—that is, they are not good at words at first .It is precisely because they have achieved certain results and achieved their goals that they are grateful and wrote to me to express their gratitude.

So when you need the courage to speak at a drinking party or negotiate with your client—indeed, any time you need to be eloquent—you can use the experience of others to motivate yourself.Whenever you're feeling intimidated, ask yourself, "If they've all been successful, why can't I?" How to learn from the experience of others: (1) The best way to overcome the fear of catastrophe when speaking in public is to first gain successful experience and use it to continuously motivate yourself. (2) You can choose a story of someone who impresses you, or is similar to your initial situation, but succeeded later to encourage your courage.You should think that everyone begins with timidity.When you feel fear, think about how others have successfully dealt with that fear.

(3) Understand the methods of others to overcome fear, such as psychological suggestion, muscle training, deep breathing, etc., and train them consciously.Or simply imagine yourself as someone else, and imagine your fear as just another person's experience—and he finally succeeded!