Chapter 52 keep learning to speak

Everyone wants to speak eloquently in front of everyone, and has an enviable conversational skill.But many people end up complaining like this: "I also know that I need to muster courage, but when I want to speak, it seems that it is not easy to do." This problem is what most people will encounter when speaking. question.So, let's talk about how to have courage. Mr. Gu Liqu, chairman of Gu Liqu Company, came to my office one day.He said to me: "I have never been afraid to speak up in my life. But as the chairman, I have to chair the meeting. Although I have known the directors for many years, when I stand up and speak, I Just can't say a word. It's been years since I've been that way, and I'm so sick. Mr. Carnegie, I find it hard to believe that you can help me out of it."

"In that case, why are you still looking for me?" I asked him. "This is because of such a thing happened." Mr. Gu Liqu replied, "One of my accountants turned out to be a shy guy. Before he walked into his own office, he had to go through my office. Before he All looking at the floor, not saying a word, and tiptoeing past my office. But recently, that has changed. Now he always has his jaw up, his eyes sparkle, and he says hello to me , which surprised me. I asked him: 'Who changed you?' He told me: 'Mr. Carnegie.' Because I couldn't believe it, I came to you anyway."

"If you want to change like this accountant," I told him, "you can take regular classes." "If you can really make me talk without being afraid," said Mr. Gulliver, "I shall be the happiest man I can be." Sure enough, Mr. Gu Liqu came to participate in our training.In fact, he's making rapid progress. One day three months later, I invited him to a party of 3,000 people in the ballroom of the Astor Hotel, and invited him to talk to the guests about the experience of attending Carnegie's eloquence training class.He was sorry to say he couldn't come because he had an important appointment scheduled.But, the next day, he called me again and said, "Mr. Carnegie, I've canceled my appointment. I must come to this party because I owe you that. I'm going to tell people the Carnegie Eloquence Class for me. It has really turned me into the happiest person in the world. I hope my story can inspire people to let go of the fear that takes their lives away."

At the party, Mr. Gu Liqu talked to 3,000 people for more than 10 minutes, but I only asked him to talk for 2 minutes.When the audience was moved by his wonderful speech, who would have thought that he would be terrified when he spoke? If you wish to be like Mr. Gu Liqu, you too can master this art in a short time.In fact, as Mr. Gu Liqu wanted to tell people in his speech, you can fully realize from his experience: speaking is not a difficult thing.That said, you can use his experience to build your own courage.When you are unable to speak because of fear, you can think: If Mr. Gu Liqu can do it, I can do it too.

When we talk to those important people, conduct business negotiations, or even just in ordinary conversations with people, if you feel very shy, you can borrow other people's experience to summon up your courage; at different times, you can Think of corresponding stories to achieve the purpose of mustering up your courage. I once conducted a survey of those good talkers, and found that almost all of them were shy at one time, and even now—as I said earlier—when they express their opinions, negotiate or persuade The nervousness has not been completely eliminated.Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate who moved freely in the social arena, often said to people: "Although I am shy by nature, I try to make myself a good talker."

I hope you will have the opportunity to visit my home and I will show you the thank you notes I have received from all over the world.Some of the people who wrote the letters were business leaders, some were governors, members of Congress, university presidents and stars in the entertainment industry, and more were business executives, workers, union members, college students, housewives, pastors, etc. They are ordinary people who are unknown to the public. What they have in common is that they all feel that they need to express their opinions and communicate with others so that others can understand and accept them, but they lack enough courage and self-confidence—that is, they are not good at words at first .It is precisely because they have achieved certain results and achieved their goals that they are grateful and wrote to me to express their gratitude.

So when you need the courage to speak at a drinking party or negotiate with your client—indeed, any time you need to be eloquent—you can use the experience of others to motivate yourself.Whenever you're feeling intimidated, ask yourself, "If they've all been successful, why can't I?" Therefore, speaking should also be practiced continuously, and every opportunity to exercise should not be missed. When George Bernard Shaw introduced his experience in improving eloquence to others, he said: "I borrowed from my own method of learning ice skating-I made myself look stupid until I learned it." Whether you want to be an excellent speaker like George Bernard Shaw, Whether you just want to take your time speaking in front of people, you should take every opportunity to practice and try to "make a fool of yourself".

We all know that one can never learn to swim if one does not get into the water.The same goes for the ability to speak.No matter how much you learn about eloquence or about pronunciation, you can't learn it if you don't speak.In all the examples of good talkers I gave earlier, if they didn't talk often and didn't think about how to talk better, they couldn't be successful. After World War I, the curriculum I taught at the Young Christians on 125th Street changed from what it had been.Every year I add new ideas to the curriculum and some old ones get thrown out.But one thing has not changed, that is, every student in the training class is required to speak in public at least once, and more often at least twice.I don't think you'll ever learn how to speak if you don't practice it a lot.Therefore, this book is only a guide for you, and you have to have your own practice.

Everyone will have an ideal self-image, and hope that others will see themselves in a favorable light.When he comes into contact with a stranger, interacts with the opposite sex, talks with authority figures, or speaks in public, he will involuntarily realize that his self-image is facing some kind of threat, worrying that he will make mistakes and make a fool of himself in public. Fear that others will say that I am "stupid", "not good enough" or "pushing", "good performance", etc.Many people are reluctant to speak because of the uncertainty of the possible consequences of speaking.This worry is completely unnecessary.You know, even if you don't say yes, the sky will never fall, and no one will blame you.

Opportunities to speak abound.Look around yourself, and you will find that there is no place where you don't need to talk.You can consciously join some organizations and engage in some work that requires speaking; you can also stand up and say a few words at a party, even if you just echo a few words of others. During a meeting, don’t let yourself hide in a corner, but It is to order yourself to stand up bravely and speak.Only in this way, you will know how you have progressed, and you will learn the ability to speak. When you speak, you may not even know what point you want to express at first, let alone the literary grace and embellishment, but it is not a big deal.The most important thing is that you have managed to speak, and if you can keep at it, that's what you need to care about next.No matter how profound your knowledge and how wise your brain is, don't expect to be able to express it clearly to others at the beginning.Any successful talker has come from this step.

"I understand all the reasons you said," a young business executive student said to me once, "but I still hesitate. I seem to be afraid of the difficulties and trials of learning." "What is the difficulty, what is the trial?" I said, "throw away these thoughts quickly! Why can't you look at the matter with a right conquering spirit?" "What spirit is that?" he asked. "Adventurous," I said.Then I talked to him about some examples of success through speaking, and good changes in his personality have also taken place. "I'm going to try it, and I'm going to take on this adventure," he concluded. The book you are reading is a book about risky action.As you continue to read this book and plan to put it into practice, you are also taking on the same adventure as he did.You will find that your self-direction and keen observation skills will help you in this adventure: You will also find that this adventure will change you from the inside out.