Chapter 50 Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

In 1912, the giant ship "Titanic" sank in the ice of the North Atlantic.That was the year I started teaching public speaking, and I was tasked with teaching a "public speaking" class for the New York YMCA evening classes.That experience was very valuable to me, because it allowed me to accumulate a wealth of knowledge about speaking and contributed to the birth of my eloquence training class. While teaching classes for the business community and professionals in New York, I have come to understand that students not only need to be trained in speech, but also have an urgent need to master the art of communicating with people in everyday business and social situations.Because in addition to longing for health, what people need most is to improve interpersonal relationships and learn the art of dealing with others, and all of these are based on the premise and means of speaking.So I decided to conduct in-depth research in this area, and finally concluded a set of comprehensive and practical courses, which is very meaningful. The proverb "Silence is golden" should be re-evaluated with the changes of the times, because how to use the charm of language determines whether modern people can succeed in communication.

In the early 20th century, psychologists and philosophers asserted that the average person uses only a tiny fraction of his or her full potential.We are only half awake compared to who we should be; our enthusiasm is dampened, our blueprints are not unfolded, and we use only a tiny fraction of our mind and body resources.What is the reason for this?In fact, this is the psychology of fear.People's fear is terrible, so I often say to my students: "You have to assume that the audience owes you money and are begging you for a few more days; but you are the proud creditor, so there is no need to be afraid. them."

The subconscious refusal to communicate with others or the fear of speaking in public is not unique to one individual. Most people are like this, but to varying degrees.In addition to the members of the training class, I have also conducted surveys on college students. 80% to 90% of the students have experienced the fear of not speaking in public and the fear of communicating with others. This seems to be saying that "fear communication" is inherent in human beings.Indeed, it is an inherent weakness of human beings, and it has a lot to do with human personality.Psychologists believe that personality is a basic characteristic of a person's behavior that is relatively stable.Personality is stable, that is to say, after a person's personality is formed under the influence of a certain education and environment, it is difficult to change, so there is a saying that "the country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change".

Relevant experts have conducted observational research on a pair of college student twin sisters in Arizona.The twin sisters are similar in appearance, have the same innate genetic qualities, and their family life and education are also the same.Although the two sisters have been educated in the same elementary school, middle school and university, despite the same genetics, education and environment, the two sisters have very different personalities: the older sister is good at speaking and communication, confident and proactive, decisive and brave; On the contrary, the younger sister lacks a sense of independence and always follows her sister when she speaks and does things.When relevant experts talk to them, the elder sister always answers first, while the younger sister just agrees, not talking, or just making some supplements.In short, the two sisters have completely different personalities.

Why is this?It turned out that the parents identified one of them as the elder sister and the other as the younger sister. Since they were young, they told the elder sister to take care of the younger sister, be responsible to the younger sister, set a good example for the younger sister, and take the lead in performing the tasks assigned by the elders.In this way, the elder sister has formed an independent, autonomous, sociable, and decisive character since childhood, while the younger sister has developed the habit of obeying her elder sister. This shows that a person's character is formed by the long-term education and environmental influences, but this does not apply to adults.For adults, personality is actually determined by psychological state, that is to say, if an adult can change his mentality, then he can change his personality.

Just like how to improve the ability to speak in public, any communication in daily life requires people to overcome fear and build self-confidence, which is the prerequisite for more effective speaking.Only in this way can people maximize their potential, make appropriate speeches on various occasions, win praise, win the favor of others, and achieve success. Before any speaking skill is implemented, full self-confidence must be established.Because self-confidence gives people a sense of security, so that you dare to get along with others, and express your views freely in any non-free occasions.Once you express your thoughts with passion, even on small occasions, you will diligently search for previous experience as a talking point.In this way, your vision will become more open and you will have a new understanding of your life.

Before my classes start, I do a survey asking people to say why they are in the class and what they hope to get out of this eloquence class.The results of the survey were surprising. Most people had the same central desires and basic needs. Their answer was: "When people ask me to stand up and speak, I feel very uncomfortable and scared, which prevents me from being able to communicate clearly. I can't concentrate, I don't know what I'm going to say. So, I want to gain confidence, be able to stand up in public with poise, be able to think freely, be able to summarize my thoughts in a logical order, and be able to speak in public or socially. Speak clearly and convincingly in front of people."

I believe it to be true that when you are standing in front of an audience you cannot think as carefully as when you are sitting, but this phenomenon can be improved with training.More importantly: You must exercise according to the method I said. The first thing you should realize is that the fear of speaking in public is beneficial to human communication because humans have an innate ability to cope with unusual challenges in their environment.When you notice your pulse and breathing quicken, don't panic, but stay calm.Because your body is always alert to external stimuli, this alertness shows that it is ready to take action to meet the challenges of the environment.Provided that this psychological preparation is carried out within a certain limit, the person concerned will therefore think faster, speak more fluently, and generally speak more incisively and forcefully than under ordinary circumstances!

Well, I'm going to let you in on a secret: Even professional speakers never quite get over their fear of going on stage—they almost always start out with some degree of timidity.These timidity can be shown in their first few sentences, but they can quickly overcome this timidity and enter a calm state.And I was pretty much the same when I started talking. Therefore, you don't have to be timid and hide in the frame you set for yourself. You should adopt a sincere and proactive attitude to communicate with people.Otherwise, fear will be out of control. It will not only cause your mind to block, your speech will not be smooth, and your muscles will become too spasm to be controlled, but it will also seriously reduce the effectiveness of your speech.

In conclusion, it is necessary for me to repeat the following points, which will go a long way in helping you overcome your fears and speak up: 1. Your fear of speaking in public and your refusal to communicate with others are not unique. Two, a certain level of communication fear will stimulate and motivate you. We are born with the ability to deal with unusual challenges in our environment. 3. Many professional orators have never quite got rid of the fear of going on stage.