Chapter 2 Being good at communication makes women like ducks in water

As a woman, if you want to establish a good relationship and promote your career through good relationship, you must know how to communicate. Communication skills are not only a science, but also an art. According to relevant research, women who are good at communicating usually have the following characteristics: listening more than expressing, respecting the privacy of others, not being too humble, admitting and apologizing frankly when making mistakes, not making excuses for their inappropriate behavior, not deliberately over-please Others, cherish your own time and the time of others. The personality characteristics of women who are not good at communication mainly include: lack of respect for others, too much self-centeredness, too much emphasis on utilitarianism, too much dependence on others, and strong jealousy, low self-esteem, extreme, withdrawn, introverted and out-of-group, full of hostility to the outside world, etc.

In life, communication is inseparable from the powerful tool of language. Proficiency in the art of language will help you gain good popularity, and good popularity is the key factor for your road to success. I have a good friend who is introverted and doesn't talk much.But whenever someone asks her for advice on something, what she says always "stings" people. Once, a colleague in my department wore a new brightly colored dress, and others praised it with good words such as "beautiful" and "fit".But when people asked her how she felt, she replied directly: "You are too fat, this new dress doesn't suit you, and the color is too bright, it doesn't match your age." As soon as I said it, the person concerned was very angry, and other people who praised how good the clothes were were also embarrassed.The reason is that part of what she said is true, and the colleague is a relatively bloated person.This made the person involved and the colleagues around her involuntarily exclude her from the group in subsequent occasions, and seldom seek her opinion on a certain matter.But this colleague is still not aware of this situation. Even when she occasionally needs to hear her opinion, she still can't control herself and says what others don't want to hear.So far, almost no one in the company is willing to take the initiative to talk to her, and of course she understands the reason why everyone doesn't talk to her.

It can be seen that in our daily work and life, we should not point out the shortcomings of others without paying attention to skills.You must understand that no one in the world is perfect, and everyone has their own flaws and shortcomings.When you want to "truthfully" expose the shortcomings of others, you have to ask yourself to think about your own shortcomings, so that you will properly reserve when you speak, and saving face for others is tantamount to leaving a way out for yourself , Naturally, that is to create good karma for yourself. Jolie works as a senior programmer at a computer company in New York.

Once, the boss deliberately gave Jolie a very difficult task, and told her in advance that "this task is quite difficult. If you feel unsure, I can arrange others to complete it." Although Jolie knows her own strength , she felt that among the people in the company, the boss was willing to take the initiative to ask her for advice, which showed that the boss valued her very much.So she gritted her teeth cruelly to herself and accepted it.As a result, the deadline given by the boss was too short, and Jolie really couldn't complete the task on time.Because of this incident, Jolie was severely criticized by her boss and took financial penalties on her.

Jolie felt very aggrieved and very angry: this task was already so difficult, and it was not expected that it could not be completed.I worked so hard at the time, and it shouldn't be considered a work mistake if I didn't finish it. "The boss is too much. In such a short period of time, he asked me to do such a difficult job alone. He clearly expected that I would not be able to do it, but he insisted on letting me do it. He punished me heavily if I didn't finish it." Afterwards, Jolie I always complain about my boss with my colleagues around me.Not long after, the boss assigned her a new task. Fortunately, this time Jolie did very well and completed the task excellently.

Just when Jolie was happy with her performance, the boss entrusted her with a more difficult task.And said: "I am the boss in the company, and the subordinates can only obey and are not allowed to complain. If you fail to complete the task this time, I think you should consider whether to change to a new job that suits you." As a last resort, Jolie had no choice but to resign. You may think that Jolie is very wronged, but we might as well think about it from another angle: the first task, when Jolie knows that it is really impossible to complete it on her own, she should tell the boss frankly. Accepting the tasks assigned by the boss with a fluke mentality and not realistically hoping for a "miracle" to complete the tasks in time is wrong to have such a work mentality.Therefore, when encountering a situation like this, you must take the initiative to communicate effectively with others, and do everything you can to get understanding and help from others, instead of trying to be heroic, bite the bullet or do it with no confidence. If you mess things up, your strength in the eyes of others will be greatly reduced.

Learning to communicate and being good at communication is a skill that a contemporary woman must possess.If you know how to fully integrate this ability and apply it in your life and work with ease, you will find that you are also quite popular with others.What's even more amazing is that from now on, you can easily get the enthusiastic help of others for many problems that you felt helpless by yourself.Your life will be full of bright sunshine everywhere, and your career will be more successful. In fact, it is true that the more social activities a woman has, the higher her chances of success in society.If you can make friends with all kinds of people and make them willing to provide you with various kinds of help, what can't be done for such a woman?

Of course, when you've built an effective network, you'll often have to put your heart into it.So, in daily life, what aspects should we start with in managing a network? Don't lose contact with the other party, this is the most basic principle of establishing a "relationship network".Therefore, you should not wait until you are in trouble to think of others. The "relationship network" is like a knife. You have to sharpen it frequently to ensure that it will not rust.If you haven't contacted your friend for a long time, you are likely to lose this friend.Therefore, active contact is very important.

That is to say, in addition to the benefits, with an additional layer of mutual understanding and communication, you can care about and help each other more in terms of human relationships.Therefore, in today's busy life, no matter how busy you are, don't forget about emotional communication. A reasonable interpersonal network must be a dynamic structure capable of self-regulation, and this structure must be able to reflect the objective requirements of the interpersonal structure in the process of development and change.Therefore, for you, constantly check and repair the relationship network, adjust the cards in your hand in time with department adjustments and personnel changes, and continue to find relationships among old relationships, so that your relationship network will always be effective.

Learn to put yourself in the position of others and experience the other person's feelings from the perspective of others.Learn to look at your own gains and losses, honors and disgraces with an ordinary mind, and regard your gains and losses, honors and disgraces as happening to others, and avoid affecting interpersonal relationships due to changes in your emotions.Treat others as yourself, and only by exchanging roles can you empathize with others' urgency and pain.