Chapter 32 Let the other party feel that the problem is not difficult to solve

Pass the confidence to solve the problem to others, let him believe that it is not so difficult.There was once a child who repeated grades for two consecutive years, and it was inspired by this principle that he became an excellent student. I have a friend who has been single in his 40s and recently got engaged.His fiancée asked him to learn to dance, and he said to me, "God, what else do I learn to dance, I've been dancing like this since I started dancing 20 years ago. But now the first teacher who taught me said , I didn't dance right at all, I had to throw away all the previous routines and learn from scratch. This made me very discouraged, and I didn't have any emotions to learn, so I stopped going.

"The second teacher who taught me didn't say that, which made it easier for me to accept. She said that my dancing might be a bit outdated, but after all, I had a good foundation, and assured me that as long as I learned a little something new, I would be fine." Alright. The first teacher, always talking about my mistakes, made me discouraged. The second teacher often praised my good things and took my problems lightly. For example, she praised my sense of rhythm. Well, say I'm a natural piece of dancing material etc. I know now that I can't possibly be a really good dancer, but I still like the way the second teacher treats me. Although she may be doing it for the money, I don't care either.

"I think it's because she said that I have a natural sense of rhythm that I can make so much progress now, and it's all thanks to her encouragement, which gave me the confidence to solve my problems." If you tell your children, lovers, and subordinates that they are stupid and lack talent in some way, then you are making a big mistake, which will hurt their self-motivation.On the contrary, if you encourage them tolerantly and tell them that you believe they can do well and that they still have great potential, this will make them work harder and continue to improve. Lowell Thomas, a relationship expert, used this principle too.He knows how to give people confidence and courage.For example, I once spent a weekend with Mr. and Mrs. Thomas.They invited me to play bridge that night.But I really can't play at all.This thing is like a mystery to me.So, I told them, I can't play this.

"How come? Dale, this is very simple." Rowell said to me, "It's nothing, it's very easy. In bridge, you just need to remember and make judgments. It's too easy for you. Having written about memory, this is for you." So I sat down at the poker table without knowing it.I found confidence from Thomas' words, I think bridge is not difficult. Speaking of bridge, I think of Eli Cooperson. His books on bridge have been translated into more than a dozen languages, published in various places, and sold more than one million copies.But he said to me that it all came from the encouragement of a young lady, otherwise he would not be what he is now.

In 1922, Cooperson came to the United States. He wanted to find a job teaching philosophy and sociology, but he couldn't find it. Later, he sold coal and coffee successively, but they all failed. He also played bridge back then, but it never occurred to him that he would make teaching that a career.At that time, his playing skills were very poor, and he was very stubborn. He would ask questions every round of the game, and he would keep discussing after the game, so people didn't want to play with him anymore. Then he meets Josephine Dylan, a beautiful bridge teacher.They fell in love and got married.She found that he was always studying his cards with great care, and she told him that he had an untapped talent in bridge.This led him to make bridge a career.

In Cincinnati, Ohio, Jones, one of our course instructors, talked about how he used this principle to change his son.He said: My 15-year-old son, David, came to live with me in Cincinnati in 1970.He's been unlucky in the past.He suffered a head injury in a car accident in 1958 and underwent surgery, which left him with an unsightly additional scar on his forehead.My mother and I divorced in 1960, and his mother took him to Dallas, Texas. He had been in a special class in Dallas until he was 15, and he was a bit slow academically.It may be because of the scars seen. The school believes that his brain has been damaged and has obstacles.He repeated two grades, so he's only in seventh grade now, but he can't recite the multiplication formula, count with his fingers, and can't recite it fluently.

The only consolation is that he is fascinated by the study of radio and television, and he wants to be a television technician.I am very supportive of this and told him that he needs to learn mathematics well first.I decided to help him learn math well. I bought him four sets of colored cards including addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. I looked at the cards with him and asked David to put the correct answer in the blank column. If he made a mistake, I will tell him it is right, and then put it in the corresponding place.I spent a lot of effort and finally helped him put it all right.After that, every night, I asked him to replay it completely and correctly, and timed him. I told him that if he could put all the cards correctly once in 8 minutes, then there is no need to do it every day. up.It seemed impossible for him, he took 52 minutes the first time, 48 minutes the second time, 45 minutes, 40 minutes, 41 minutes, each time he improved, We will all celebrate.Then he was able to do it in less than 40 minutes and I called my wife to come back and we both did a jig with him in our arms.At the end of the month, a miracle happened, and the time for him to place all the cards correctly was within 8 minutes.I encourage him to do more and improve.Finally, he found that studying is not so difficult, and it is fun.

As a result, his algebra grades continued to improve.Soon, he was pleasantly surprised to get back a math report card with a B grade, which was unimaginable before.He has also made amazing progress in other areas.His ability to read improved greatly, and he began to show a talent for drawing.At the end of the semester, his science teacher asked him to prepare for an exhibition competition. He used the principle of leverage to design and manufacture a difficult model, which required not only drawing and hands-on skills, but also knowledge of mathematics and physics.In this exhibition, he became the first place in the school science fair competition, so he participated in the Cincinnati City Science Fair competition, and he became the third place in the city.

It was encouragement that allowed him to do this.At one time, he was a child who had been repeated for two years. The school determined that his brain was damaged, and his classmates called him a "modern primitive"; when he suddenly found that learning is not so difficult, and some things are very interesting, a miracle happened .He was on the honor roll from the second semester of eighth grade through high school; the National Honor Society drafted him while he was in high school.When he found learning easy and fun, his whole life changed.