Chapter 20 Learn to take advantage of your weaknesses

If the critic first humbly admits that he is not perfect and blameless, and then points out the mistakes of others, it will be easier for people to accept. A few years ago, my niece, Josephine Carnegie, came to New York to be my secretary.At that time, Sephine was nineteen years old, had graduated from high school, and had little business experience.Now she is a very capable secretary. At the beginning, my niece was very sensitive and vulnerable, and I couldn't help but criticize her often.Once, when I wanted to criticize her, I said to myself: "Don't worry, wait a minute, Dale Carnegie. You are twice as old as Josephine, and you have more experience than her. Many times. How can you expect her to have your opinion? Your judgment? Your opinion? Dale, have you forgotten what you did when you were nineteen? Remember your clumsy, stupid mistake?"

After thinking about this, I found that my niece is much stronger than I was back then.So from now on, when Josephine makes a mistake, I will comfort her like this: "Dear Josephine, it's okay if you make a little mistake, I used to do that too, but only God knows about it. "A person is not born to judge one thing, it needs to be learned from practice. Moreover, I was much worse than you when I was your age. I still remember that I made many ridiculous mistakes , I don't want to criticize you for your mistakes... but don't you think it would be wiser if you did it?"

Later, the niece made fewer and fewer mistakes.I exposed my flaws and let my niece find her confidence. Prince Boono was a smooth man who felt the importance of exposing his flaws. At that time, Kaiser Wilhelm II was a supercilious, arrogant person.He builds the army and navy, and wants to be the enemy of the whole world.But then the Kaiser said some unbelievable things that shook the whole of Europe and even the rest of the world.The most incredible thing is that the Kaiser published his ridiculous, arrogant and absurd remarks in front of the masses.He also allowed the Daily Telegraph to publish it.For example, he said he was the only German who felt friendly with Britain; he was building a navy to counter Japanese hegemony.The Kaiser also stated that, in his power, France and Russia would not keep England from being humiliated by their threats.He also said that, thanks to his scheme, the English Sir Norbert could only defeat the Dutch in South Africa.

As we all know, in the past hundred years, no king in Europe has said such astonishing words.In response to these remarks, outcry and commotion in European countries immediately flocked.Britain was very angry, and the politicians in Germany were even more shocked.The Kaiser also gradually felt the seriousness of the situation, and he couldn't control the situation.So he asked Prince Bruno to accept it on his behalf.That is to say, the Kaiser asked Prince Bruno to claim that everything was his responsibility, and he suggested that he should say those words. But Prince Bruno did not obey, he said: "Your Majesty, I am afraid that neither the Germans nor the British will believe that I would advise Your Majesty to say those words." After Prince Bruno said this, he immediately realized that I made a mistake by saying this myself-seriously offended the Kaiser.Sure enough, his words aroused the Kaiser's anger.

The Kaiser said: "You think I'm a stupid ass, and I made mistakes that even you wouldn't make?" Prince Bouno knew that he should pay some kind of compliment before pointing out his mistake, but it was too late.He can only make the second step of effort: after criticism, praise.As a result, a miracle appeared immediately. Prince Bruno said respectfully: "Your Majesty, that's not what I meant. I didn't express it clearly. What I want to say is that Your Majesty is far superior to me in many aspects, of course not only in naval knowledge, especially in natural sciences." Science. Every time you talk about the scientific principles of the barometer, wireless telegraphy, etc., I always feel ashamed of myself and feel that I know too little knowledge... I am ashamed that I don't know all the natural sciences, physics, etc. I don’t even know anything about it, and I can’t explain even the most common natural phenomena. But I am a little happy because I know a little bit of history, and I also have a little bit of political talent, especially diplomatic talent.”

After listening to Prince Bruno's words, the Kaiser slowly showed a smile on his face, because Prince Bruno praised him.It was obvious that Boono had elevated him and lowered himself.After Bruno's explanation, the Kaiser forgave him and forgave him.The Kaiser said happily: "I haven't told you this often. You and I are famous for being able to complement each other. We need sincere cooperation, and we are both willing to do it." He shook Boono's hand not just once, but many, many times.That afternoon, he held Bu Nuo's hand tightly and said, "If someone tells me that Bu Nuo is not good, I will hit him on the nose with my fist."

Prince Boono saved himself just in time!Although he was a flexible diplomat, he did one thing wrong.He should start by talking about his own shortcomings, and pointing out the Kaiser's strengths... You can't imply that the Kaiser is a person with insufficient intelligence and a person who needs protection from others. If you use a few words to humble yourself and praise the other party, you can turn the arrogant Kaiser into a very sincere person.Consider what humility and praise can do to us in our daily lives.If we use it properly, incredible miracles can really happen in the relationship between people.