Chapter 3 We must learn to criticize ourselves

I have a private folder in my filing cabinet marked FTD, which stands for "Fool Things I Have Done"—fool things I have done, and there are written records of some ridiculous things I have done in the folder.I sometimes dictate to my secretary for notes, but sometimes these things are so private and stupid that I don't have the face to ask my secretary to take notes, so I have to secretly write them down myself. Every time I pull out this file and revisit my critiques of myself, it helps me deal with the most intractable issues. I used to blame other people for my troubles, but as I got older—and maybe a little wiser—I finally realized that the only one to blame was myself.Many people realize this as they grow older.When Napoleon was exiled to St. Helena, he said: "My failure is entirely my own responsibility, and no one can be blamed. My worst enemy is actually myself, which is also the main reason for my tragic fate."

There is a man who knows the art of self-management, his name is Hewell. His sudden death at the Ambassador Hotel in New York City on July 31, 1944 shocked everyone, for he was the leader of the American business community.He served as chairman of the American Commercial Trust Bank and served as a consultant to several large companies.With limited formal education, he worked as a clerk in a small country store and later as a credit manager for the U.S. Steel Corporation, with promising prospects. I once asked Mr. Herwell the secret of his success, and he told me that for several years he had been keeping a notepad of his life as a basis for self-criticism.His family never expected him to be home on weekend nights because they knew he used them for self-reflection and judging his week at work.Usually after dinner, he would open the notepad by himself and review everything he had done during the week.Ask yourself "What did I do wrong?" "What went right? What else can I do to improve my performance? What lessons can I learn from this experience?" It made him so unhappy that sometimes he could hardly believe his recklessness.Of course, as we get older, this situation becomes less and less common.He still maintains this habit of self-analysis, which has helped him a lot.

It is said that Hewell may have learned this practice from Franklin, but Franklin did not wait until the weekend to check himself, but did self-reflection every night.Franklin found 13 serious mistakes in the process of self-criticism, which can be said to have captured the weaknesses that most people have. Three of them are: wasting time, worrying about trivial matters, and arguing with others.The wise Franklin later said that if he did not correct these shortcomings, he would not be able to achieve great things.It also made me understand why Franklin became a beloved and influential figure.

Hubbard said: "Everyone is not smart enough for at least five minutes a day, and wisdom seems to have a sense of powerlessness." Ordinary people are often angry at the criticism of others, but wise people find ways to learn from it.The poet Whitman once said: "Do you think you can only learn from people who like you, admire you, and agree with you? Isn't it possible to learn a greater lesson from those who oppose you and criticize you?" Instead of waiting for the opponent to attack you, it is better to correct the weakness yourself so that the opponent cannot attack.We can be our own toughest critics, and it is up to us to identify and deal with our weaknesses before others catch them.

It takes a lot of courage to correct one's weaknesses.For example, if someone called you stupid, how would you react?Let's see how Lincoln handles it.Lincoln's secretary of war, Stanton, once scolded the president in this way. Stanton was angry because of Lincoln's interference.To please some self-serving politicians, Lincoln signed an order to move the regiment.Not only did Stanton refuse to carry out Lincoln's order, but he accused Lincoln of being foolish for signing it. Someone told Lincoln about this, and Lincoln replied calmly: "If Stanton calls me stupid, I am probably really stupid, because he is almost always right. I will go and talk to him in person." Lincoln really went Look at Stanton.Stanton convinced him that the order was wrong, and Lincoln backtracked.Lincoln was tolerant of criticism as long as he believed the other party was sincere and helpful.

I know a soap salesman who even offered to be critiqued.When he started selling soap, the orders were so low that he feared losing his job, but he was sure there was nothing wrong with the product or the price, so the problem must be him.Whenever he failed in a sales pitch, he would walk down the street and figure out what was wrong—was it not convincing enough?Or lack of enthusiasm?Sometimes he would turn back and ask the merchant: "I didn't come back to sell you soap, I hope to get your opinion and correction. Please tell me, what did I do wrong just now? You have more experience than me. , the career is successful again. Please give me a little correction, it’s okay to be blunt, please don’t hold back.” His attitude won him many friendships and precious advice.This soap salesman was later promoted to the president of Colgate, and he was Mr. Litt.

So, everyone should welcome such criticism, because we can't all be right all the time.Even President Roosevelt could only hope to be right three times out of four.Einstein, the greatest scientist today, also frankly admitted that 99% of his conclusions are wrong. Let's be smart and humble, and when you get pissed off by a malicious attack, tell yourself first, "Wait a minute, I'm not perfect, even Einstein admits 99% of me is." Wrong, maybe 80% of the time I'm wrong. This criticism may come at a good time, and if so, I should be grateful for it and try to benefit from it."