Chapter 34 I overcame my low self-esteem

When I was 16, I often fell into trouble, fear and low self-esteem.I was too tall for my age, too thin for my age, and too frail to compete with the other boys in baseball or track.My classmates often made fun of me and called me "thin bamboo pole", which added to my sadness and low self-esteem, so that I dared not meet people.In fact, I have very few opportunities to meet other people. My farm is far away from the road and surrounded by dense forests. I often don’t see a stranger for a whole week. The only people I get along with are my father, mother, and brother. ,elder sister. If I let these troubles and fears strike me, maybe I will be a useless person for the rest of my life.Thinking of the situation at that time, I feel scared. Every hour of the day, I worry about my thin and frail body. My mind is so full of strange thoughts that I can't accommodate anything else.My mother was a teacher and she understood how I felt.She said to me, "Son, you should get a higher education. If your body is not good enough, you can still live off your mind."

However, my parents were unable to support me in college, so I had to rely on my own hard work to earn money.Once winter came, I started to try my hand at wild hunting, catching skunks, minks and raccoons.In the spring I sold the hides for four dollars.Then, I used the money to buy two little pigs.I took good care of these two piglets, and sold them the following fall for forty dollars.With the money, I left home and was admitted to the Central Teachers College in Danville.During my studies, I lived frugally. My weekly food expenses were only one yuan and four cents, and the rent was only five cents. I was wearing a brown cloth shirt that my mother sewed for me.My father gave me a suit, but it didn't fit me well.The shoes belonged to my father, too, and they didn’t fit my feet. If I was not careful, I would even fall off my feet. I felt so embarrassed that I didn’t dare to socialize with other students, and I often sat alone in the room and read a book.My biggest wish at the time was to be able to buy clothes and shoes that were beautiful and well-fitting in the store so that I would not feel ashamed.

Four events that happened not long after helped me overcome my worries and low self-esteem.One of those events gave me so much courage, hope, and confidence that it completely changed my life.I will briefly describe these things below. First things first: Eight weeks into Teachers College, I took an exam to get a "third-class certificate" that allowed me to teach in a public school in the country.Although the certificate was only valid for six months, it meant that someone had faith in me - the first time anyone other than my mother had expressed confidence in me. The second thing: a rural school in Happy Valley hired me to work part-time, with a daily salary of two yuan and a monthly salary of 40 yuan.This boosted my confidence even more.

THIRD THING: Immediately after taking my first paycheck, I went to the store and bought some new clothes, which I no longer feel ashamed of.Even if you give me 1 million now, it is not as exciting as spending a few dollars to buy clothes. Fourth Thing: This was a real turning point in my life - my first big victory over depression and low self-esteem.It was at the annual Putnam County Fair in Banbridge, and my mother encouraged me to enter a public speaking competition.To me, the idea was so far-fetched that I didn't even have the courage to face a single person, let alone a large audience.But my mother has enough confidence in me and has great hopes for my future—she lives for her son.

My mother's confidence made me resolutely enter the competition, and the topic I chose for my speech was "Liberal Art in America".Frankly, I didn't even know what Liberal Arts was when I first started preparing my speeches, but that's okay because my audience didn't either.I memorized all the speeches with gorgeous words, and practiced them no less than 100 times in front of trees and cattle.I wanted to do a good job in front of my mother, to be very emotional and moving when I spoke.Facing the cheers of the audience, I was stunned, and I won the first place.The boys who used to laugh at me and call me "Skinny Bamboo" now patted me on the back and said, "I knew you could do it, Elmo." My mother put her arms around me and cried with excitement.Winning this game was an important turning point in my life.The local newspapers reported on me on the front page and predicted my future, which made me famous in the local area and became a household name.Of course, more importantly, it has increased my confidence in life and career.I know now that if I hadn't won that contest, I probably would never have been able to enter the United States Senate.This event was an eye-opener for me, both expanding my horizons and uncovering potentials that I myself would not have believed possible.The prize of the speech contest, a one-year scholarship from the Central Normal University, is more realistic to me.

How eager I was to learn more.From 1896 to 1900 I divided my time between teaching and learning.To pay for DePaul University, I worked as a restaurant waiter, boiler man, lawn mower, bookkeeper, and spent summers in the countryside helping harvest wheat and corn and picking rocks for road projects. In 1896, at the age of 19, I had given 28 speeches calling on people to vote for Bryan for president.The freshness and excitement of campaigning fueled my interest in stepping into politics.To this end, I took two courses in law and public speaking after I entered DePaul University. In 1899, I represented the school in a debate match against Butler College.I won another oratory contest held in Indianapolis entitled "Should Senators of the United States Be Elected by the Masses," and became editor-in-chief of the class and school papers.

After receiving a bachelor's degree from DePaul University, I accepted the advice of Hrace Gray and came to a new city—Oklahoma, and applied for a piece of land after the Indian reservation was opened to the public. Also opened a law firm in Lawton, Oklahoma.I have since served 13 years in the State Senate and four years in the State House of Representatives.At the age of 50, I finally achieved my greatest dream in life, being elected to the U.S. Senate from Oklahoma.From March 4, 1927, I have served in this position to this day.Since Oklahoma and the Indian District merged into Oklahoma, I have been nominated as a Liberal, first to the State Senate, then to the State Legislature, and finally to the United States Senate.

I am telling these past events here, not to show off my achievements, but to instill some courage and self-confidence in some poor young people who are suffering from troubles and low self-esteem.Back then, when I was wearing my father’s old clothes and those big shoes that were almost falling off, the annoyance, shyness, and low self-esteem almost destroyed me. (Editor's Note: It's quite interesting that Elmo Thomas was voted the best-dressed man in the U.S. Senate after having trouble with ill-fitting clothes as a young man.)