Chapter 62 Try to get the other person to say "yes"

When someone else is really wrong, we should not pretend to be smart and say to him: "You are wrong." At this time, it is yourself who is really wrong. To know how to correct other people's mistakes, you need to pay attention to methods. I have always believed that when talking with others, don't start by discussing disagreements, but start by emphasizing and constantly emphasizing what both parties agree on.Keep emphasizing that you are both working toward the same goal, with the only difference being the method, not the end. Try to make the other party say "yes, yes" at the beginning, and try not to make him say "no".

"A 'no' response," says Professor Overstridge in his book Influencing Human Behavior, "is the least easily broken barrier. When a man says 'no,' all his personality His dignity requires him to stick to the end. He may feel that his "no" was wrong afterwards; however, he must take into account his precious self-esteem! Now that he has said it, he has to stick to it. A positive attitude is the most important thing. "People who know how to talk get some 'yes' responses at the beginning, and then guide the audience's psychology into a certain direction. Just like the movement of playing billiards, if it is hit from one direction, it will deflect to one side; to make it rebound If you come back, you must spend more power.

"This psychological pattern is obvious. When a person says 'no', and he really means no, what he expresses is by no means a simple word. The whole tissue of his body-endocrine, nerves, muscles-all condense into one A state of resistance, usually seen as a state of contraction or readiness to contract. In short, the entire nervous and muscular system develops a state of resistance to acceptance. Conversely, when a person says 'yes', there is Without this contraction happening, the body is forward, accepting and open, so the more we can create a 'yes, yes' situation in the beginning, the easier it will be to draw the other person's attention to our ultimate goal.

"This 'yes' response is a very simple technique, but how many people ignore it! Generally speaking, people seem to gain their sense of self-respect by taking a negative attitude at first. The radicals follow the Conservatives are bound to make each other angry at once when they are together. In fact, what good is it? If he only hopes to get a high, he may be forgiven. But if he wants to achieve something, he is in the Mentally it's just too stupid. "A student, or a customer, or a husband, or a wife, starts by saying 'no', and you need the wisdom and patience of an angel to turn a negative into a positive."

Eddie Snow, who presided over the Carnegie course in Oakland, California, narrated that the reason why he became a good customer in a store was only because of the polite words of the store owner, which made him say "not bad".Eddie loved hunting with a bow and had spent a lot of money on bows, arrows, and gear.When his younger brother came to visit him, he wanted to rent a bow from the shop he frequented and take him hunting.But the clerk said they didn't rent out bows, so Eddie called another store.Eddie described what happened next. "A very pleasant-sounding man answered the phone and his answer to my question about renting bows was completely different from the original shop. He said he was sorry they didn't rent bows anymore because they couldn't afford them. Then he Asked if I had rented a bow before, I replied, 'Not bad, a few years ago.' He reminded me that I might have paid $25-$30 to rent at the time, and I said 'Not bad' again.

"Then he asked me if I was someone looking to save some money and of course I said 'yes'. He explained that they were auctioning off some bows with everything for $34.95 a set and I would only pay $4.95 more than the rent $, you can buy a whole set. He explained that this is why they stopped renting out bows, and he asked me if it was a good deal. My 'good' response led me to buy a set, and when I went While picking up the bow, I bought some other stuff at his shop. And I've been a regular customer ever since." Try to make the other person say "yes" attractive. The "Gadfly of Athens" Socrates was a clever old child at heart. Although he was often barefoot, he married a nineteen-year-old girl when he was forty and bald.He did something that only a few people in history did: He completely changed the trend of human thought.And now, twenty-three centuries after his death, he is revered as one of the preeminent orators of this contentious world.

What is his method?Did he tell others that they were wrong?No, he's too seasoned for that kind of thing.His whole method, now known as the "Socrates method", is based on getting "yes, yes".The questions he asked were all that the other party had to agree to. He kept getting one yes after another until he had a lot of yess.He kept on asking until finally, almost imperceptibly, his opponent found himself waiting for a conclusion he had vehemently opposed a few minutes earlier.