Chapter 15 Play to your introvert strengths

Whether introverted or extroverted, there are great thinkers, philosophers and musicians. The positive energy produced by the human body itself is not carried by any personality, but only related to thinking activities. That is to say, no matter what kind of Character, as long as you think with a positive attitude, is a good character. Are you an introvert?Are introverts natural?As an introvert, what special advantages do you have, and what methods can you use to overcome your discomfort in work, love, and social situations?As a relative of an introvert, is there any way to help him (her) to better use his or her strengths?

Our culture values ​​and celebrates extroversion because America is a nation built on individualism, and they value citizens being able to express themselves.We value action, speed, competition and daring.So, it's not surprising that people are very resistant to introverted personalities.We live in a culture that is negative about reflection and solitude, where "getting out" and "doing" are ideals. When extroversion is taken for granted as the inevitable result of healthy development, introverted personality has become a "alternative that people respect and stay away from".In a way, introverts fail to live out their social lives, and they are doomed to loneliness and unhappiness.

However, the world we live in is not only shaped by people's different races and genders, but also shaped by people's different personalities.One of the most important aspects of our personality, what the scientist Sikri calls the "yin and yang sides of temperament," determines whether we are more introverted or extroverted.If various personalities are defined as a horizontal axis with introversion and extroversion as the two endpoints, then our position on this horizontal axis will affect our choice of friends and spouses, and will also affect our ability to talk, deal with problems, and show love. Way.

Introverts and extroverts need different levels of external stimuli to achieve good performance. Introverts do not need much external stimuli. Drinking wine with close friends, playing crossword puzzles or reading books are all important to them. Just right.Extroverts are a different story, preferring to meet new faces, ski the slopes, or crank up the stereo. Extroverts are quick to deal with problems, make quick decisions, multitask with ease, are not afraid to take risks, and enjoy the frenetic pursuit of money and status.Introverts are slower and more cautious when doing things. They can't do several things at the same time and can concentrate on them. Relatively speaking, they can withstand the temptation of fame and fortune.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shyness is the fear of disapproval and humiliation from society, while introversion is the choice of an environment that is not overly stimulating.Shyness is unpleasant in itself, but introversion is not. Introverts draw their energy from thoughts of their inner world, self-reflection, and deep contemplation, and can feel depleted if they spend long periods of time with others.In order to maintain their own concentration, they rarely communicate with the outside world and tend to be socially closed. However, socializing for introverts has its own advantages:

(1) I am more accustomed to immersing myself in my spiritual world, and have developed the characteristics of being calm, down-to-earth, thinking, patient and cautious, and strong self-control, giving people a reliable impression and being more likely to be recognized by others. (2) Less talkative, don't like to show sharpness, strict mouth, easier to hear the truth, most of the word of mouth is good, and the friends you make are all close friends. (3) Have more time to observe and think about problems more calmly, objectively, and deeply, have a more original understanding of problems, and have stronger imagination.

In interpersonal communication, as long as introverts can listen to others carefully, agree with others' correct opinions, and affirm others' strengths and achievements, they will be very popular. Introverts are often not self-centered, and in fact may be quite the opposite.Their ability to focus on the inner world, and to reflect on sensations and experiences, allows us to better understand the outer world and other people.What appears to be egocentricity is in fact the ability to personally understand the situation of others. And extroverts are not unsociable, they just socialize differently.Introverts need few friendships but like more connection and intimacy with their friends.

In America, the most essential thing is to be creative in a lonely world.Therefore, you don't have to worry about your introverted personality, give full play to your introverted personality's advantages, and make yourself a leading position in the competition.