Chapter 41 Know yourself and the enemy, attack your heart with reality

Mr. Davierno originally wanted to supply bread to a hotel in New York. Every week for four years he went to the hotel manager.He even rented a room in a hotel and stayed there in order to seal the deal.However, it still failed to negotiate. "But then," said Mr. Davierno, "after I considered the nature of human interrelationships, I decided to change tack and find out what the hotel manager was interested in. "I learned that he is a member of the American Hotel Attendants Association. Not only a member of this association, but also the chairman of the association. No matter where the representative meeting of this association is held, even if he travels across mountains and rivers and across oceans, he He will also attend. So, when I saw him the next day, I started to talk about the association. What was the result? He talked to me very vigorously for half an hour. I suddenly understood that the association is a topic he likes to talk about, yes His hobby. At that time, I didn't talk about bread at all. But a few days later, the treasurer of the hotel called me and asked me to bring samples and price lists.'I didn't know what you were doing with him something,' said the treasurer to me, 'but you can trust that you can come to an agreement with him now.'

"Come to think of it, I've been wanting to make this deal for four years, and if I hadn't bothered to learn what this guy was interested in and talk to him, I'd have done it a long time ago." Have you ever seen the kind of doctor who doesn't listen or ask, and prescribes medicine as soon as he sees a patient?When you meet a stranger for the first time, talking without hesitation is equivalent to a doctor who prescribes medicine without asking the patient. How can the effect be good?You have to know the other person a little bit before you can determine what you should do to be most effective.

Charles, who belonged to a large New York City bank, had been ordered to write a confidential report on a company he knew someone possessed information he desperately needed.So Mr. Charles went to see the man, who was the chairman of a large company.When Mr. Charles was ushered into the chairman's office, a young woman put her head in through the door and told the chairman that she had no stamps to give him for two days. "I am now collecting stamps for my 12-year-old son." The chairman explained to Charles. Mr. Charles explained his purpose and began to ask questions.The chairman's statement was vague and general. He didn't want to speak out what was in his heart. No matter how hard he tried to persuade him, it was useless.The time of this meeting was very short and had no practical effect.

"Frankly, I didn't know what to do at the time," Charles said, "and then I remembered what he said—Stamps, 12-year-old son, and I also thought about our bank's foreign department collecting stamps, from all over the world. Postage stamps removed from the mail. "The next morning I went to him again and sent word in that I had some stamps to give to his children. Was I cordially taken in? Yes. He had a smile on his face and was very polite. 'My George would love these,' he kept saying, fondling the stamps. We spent an hour talking about stamps and looking at pictures of his son, and then he spent another hour or so making out all the stamps I had. He told me everything he wanted to know, and I didn't even suggest that he do it, but he told me everything he knew, and then called his subordinates in and asked them some questions. He also called some of his colleagues , tell me all the facts, figures, reports and letters."

It would be great if you could hear the other party's news in advance, but it doesn't matter if you can't, you can still get to know him temporarily and react according to the information you get.Of course, this requires your attention everywhere. Know what the other person is thinking, so you can know what to say.If you want to persuade others, you must first "reconnaissance" the other party's psychology and guess the other party's mind.