Chapter 43 9. Sleep with men

After checking the resumes of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, these two living treasures finally reappeared in history. The first time they appeared on stage was when Liu Bei recruited soldiers in Zhuo County.Guan Yu was involved in a crime at the time and was a red-faced fugitive. It was not easy to find food, so he came to Liu Bei's place for dinner.Zhang Fei's origin is unclear, but he is a rich second generation, and he became Liu Bei's guard along with Guan Yu. Since then, the files of the two have shown a large area of ​​blank space, and Liu Bei's own narrative has also appeared to be full of doubts, but in this strange place of Pingyuan County, the resumes of the three of them have shown a strange variety.

The resumes of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei stated that in Pingyuan County, Liu Bei gave them two strange officials from his previous Sima Department, and asked them to lead the army respectively.In addition, Liu Bei ate and slept with the two of them, and their friendship was as deep as brothers. Is the housing in Pingyuan County so tight?Could it be that these three leaders were only assigned to one room? Housing is definitely not so tight, but Liu Bei insists on sleeping with Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. It is estimated that apart from the three of them having night talks and discussing things together, there is also a safety consideration.

According to historical materials about Liu Bei, when Liu Bei became Prime Minister of Pingyuan, it aroused strong dissatisfaction from a local man named Liu Ping. The reason why this Liu Ping is famous in history is that he does not admire Liu Bei as much as the later generations.On the contrary, as a contemporary, Liu Ping looked down on Liu Bei from the left, and looked down on Liu Bei from the right. . But Liu Bei not only did not buy tofu to bump his head, on the contrary, he became Prime Minister of Pingyuan.This shocked Liu Ping and felt great shame. Shame, what a shame!Liu Ping thought, I am a dignified Liu Ping, but I ended up working as a miscellaneous under Liu Bei's subordinates. If people find out about this, what face do I have to live on!

No, I can't just live in endless humiliation.Liu Ping decided: I must act immediately to save my life and live like a human being. When future historians write about me, they will not be too shameful. So Liu Ping ordered his subordinates to find someone from outside and asked, "I heard that you are the best in this industry?" The other party: "So-so." Liu Ping: "Then why haven't I heard of you before?" The other party: "The people you heard about are all dead." Liu Ping: "...Well, it makes sense, it makes sense. Assassins like you pay attention to leaving things behind and leaving no credit or fame. Once you make yourself a celebrity, it means a thorough fail."

The other party: "Maybe." Liu Ping: "Have you heard of Liu Bei?" The other party: "No." Liu Ping: "It's the one who was just promoted to Prime Minister Ping Yuan." The other party was silent.Liu Ping nodded in satisfaction, and pushed a bag of gold over: "You may know what kind of hero I am, Liu Ping, but now I'm being ridden on the neck by Liu Bei. When the historian writes history books in the future When it comes to Liu Ping's tragic career, it is inevitable that Liu Bei will be mentioned, and Liu Bei's glory will be mixed into the history books. The more I think about it, the more useless I become."

The other party: "Yes." Liu Ping: "Well, what do you mean?" The other party: "That's what it means." Liu Ping: "Well, that's the reason why I invited you here. I can't tolerate Liu Bei's free ride into the history books. This is your reward. Please kill that big-eared ape for me... ...By the way, you sure wouldn't run away with gold, would you? Surely not?" The other party: "You can humiliate me, but please don't humiliate my career." Liu Ping felt relieved: "That's good. I believe in your professional ability and professional ethics. I hope that you can arrive at the prime minister's mansion at dawn to mourn Liu Bei's funeral. Please."

The assassin came to Liu Bei's residence with gold and a knife, and easily touched Liu Bei's pillow. Historical records show that when the assassin sneaked in quietly, Liu Bei was the only one in the room, sleeping soundly on the bed.As for Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, they were each in their own rooms at this time.Guan Yu should be looking up a dictionary and reading "Zuo Zhuan", while Zhang Fei is painting beauties full of passion.Because neither Guan Yu nor Zhang Fei mentioned this matter in their resumes, which shows that they knew nothing about it. Touching Liu Bei's pillow, the assassin patted Liu Bei's shoulder: "Hey, wake up, you've been sleeping like this for so long, you don't even know you've cut off your head!"

Liu Bei woke up in a daze: "Who is it, it's so scary in the middle of the night, and you can't let people sleep..." The assassin said: "Sleep you big-headed ghost, you will know that you are sleeping, you don't even know when the assassin is coming..." Liu Bei was like a dog being poured with boiling water, and jumped up with a whoosh: "Assassin... where is the assassin? Where is it?" Assassin said: "Your mother is so tall, don't you hear that the golden phoenix is ​​not moving and the cicada is aware of it, plotting impermanence and death. You are also a plain face, and you don't even have a defense when you sleep. If I just cut off your Head, do you think you are wronged or not?"

Liu Bei: "It's not my fault...but why did you cut off my head?" Assassin: "I don't even know you. Why cut your head off when you have nothing to do? It's not who, that who, that Liu Ping, who originally planned this plain aspect with great pains. With one blow, he snatched away this prime minister. Liu Ping couldn't swallow this breath, so he paid me to kill you... Who do you think poured this stupid idea into Liu Ping's pig's head? It's not easy for everyone to make a living outside. Pretending to be an assassin is just to bluff others and stutter. Liu Ping took it seriously. He didn't even think about it. How could there be such a heartless person in the world? People, how much money would you kill someone for? How much trouble would it be for you to kill someone, and if you were caught by the government, dragged to the execution ground and beheaded, you won’t be able to spend even how much money you have.”

Liu Bei: "...the strong man's words are very reasonable, reasonable." Assassin: "You have a big reason, I'm leaving, you should be careful in the future. I won't kill you, but if Liu Ping finds another heartless person, he will really cut off your head, and you will regret it too late to take the medicine .” Liu Bei: "...a strong man walks slowly, don't send..." As soon as the assassin left, Liu Bei hugged the quilt and rushed into Guan Yu's room barefoot: "...Come in, let's squeeze together... Xiaoguan, don't be afraid to be like this, I'll go to your bed, nothing else The idea is to talk to you about your ideals in life..."

After being disturbed by this assassin, Liu Bei slept in the same bed with Guan Yu and Zhang Fei every night for safety, leaving behind a good story that will last forever.