Chapter 124 (8) Funny surrender letter

When the great scholar Fu Heng mobilized his troops, the letter of surrender from Burma arrived. This letter, written super funny, must be quoted by historians to show their understanding of the historical materials.The letter said: The Kingdom of Siam, the Kingdom of Deleng, the Kingdom of Dehuai, the Kingdom of Zigu, the Kingdom of Yikan, the Kingdom of Hanji, the Kingdom of Jiezhai, the Kingdom of Big Ears, and the Gold, Silver and Gem Factory, Flying Knives, Pegasus, and Flying People are in charge of His Royal Highness Officer, Marshal of the Commanding Army: In the past, Wu Shangxian came to Ava and respected the great emperor's benevolence and kindness. My Burmese king used it to pay tribute with ceremonies, and was given satin and jade.Nearly because Mubang and Manmu Tusi played with it, they set up troops to fight and hurt each other.Today, I have specially submitted an article to explain the process. Please follow the ancient rituals, exchange tributes, and never stop fighting.

This letter was written by the mother of King Mengbo of Xinmyan at the request of her son.Meng's mother said: Son, do you think you are stupid?How dare you provoke the Qing Empire, are you tired of living?The people in the Qing Empire are all monsters, and they are all super capable of giving birth. As long as I speak, they have given birth to more cubs than our total population.What are you doing with this crazy reproductive species?Hurry up, take advantage of the fact that you have already won a battle, accept it as soon as you see it, and write a letter to ask for peace, so as to avoid the constant stream of people coming to fight the war, I really can't afford it.

The strange country names mentioned in the letter, such as the Big Ear Kingdom, are the self-appointed titles of various tribes in Burma. It’s okay for the Burmese to write it themselves, but Qianlong could see the unspeakable pain: Please, this letter What are they writing about?Oh, feeling, you won a game, so you stop playing?no way! It's not impossible to stop, you have to let me win a game, otherwise how will I mess around in the future? Although Qianlong was ruthless, his brother-in-law Fu Heng was in low spirits.Seeing this, Qianlong grabbed the folding fan in Fu Heng's hand and wrote on it:

Who in the world knows me? Farewell to old friends! help the wind everywhere, Yang Wu and Yang Ren. The meaning of this poem is: Please, please leave everything to you, brother-in-law. So the great scholar Fu Heng recruited more than 40,000 soldiers and horses and more than 60,000 horse mules. Considering the unacceptable situation in Myanmar, he also recruited a large number of medicinal materials and doctors to accompany the army, plus the newly cast new artillery, They rushed to the China-Myanmar border in a mighty way. Seeing that the imperial court really sent so many people, the Burmese soldiers hid in the jungle and peeked, not daring to contact the Qing soldiers.It took a full month to see that Fu Heng led his army in the primeval forest, wandering east and west, south and north, without knowing where to go. In the blink of an eye, they traveled for more than two thousand miles. But he was always going around a place called Jiajiu, and the Burmese soldiers were puzzled: What the hell are these Qing soldiers doing?

After walking in a circle for a month and running for more than two thousand miles, at this time Fu Heng's men had already eaten their food, but it happened to catch up with the heavy rain, and the Qing soldiers were still trudging hard on the muddy slope, no one knew Where to trek.Some horse mules slipped and fell, and rolled down the hillside, losing the army's luggage.A few days later, the clothes of the Qing soldiers had been worn away by the rocks, and they were all naked, squatting on the ground and crying loudly because of hunger. It is recorded in the history books: Brother Fu Heng traveled thousands of miles and exhausted his army, but he did not meet a single thief.

Fu Heng made himself sick with anger. There is no mantra anymore, so I can only talk nonsense. So Fu Heng reported a great victory to Qianlong. The details of this great victory are extremely rich. According to the memorial, Fu Heng sent Hai Lancha, the number one warrior in the empire, to sneak into the Burmese territory to catch tongues, and indeed captured Er Nuo, a Burmese laborer.According to E Nuo's account, the leader of the Lengzi tribe, Ya De Nuo, led ten boats, and another Zhan Laji (really called such a strange name) led a hundred boats, and came from Ava to attack the Qing army camp.So Fu Heng and Hai Lancha stayed on the east bank, and soon the Burmese soldiers really came. The Qing soldiers marched in a row, shooting with bows and crossbows, and cavalrymen trampled on them with war horses from the side... The more and more they got more and more outrageous, it was said that they were Burmese soldiers If they didn't pay, they were defeated, so the Qing soldiers seized three Dazhais in a row, seized equipment, rice and food, and killed 500 enemies first, and then killed thousands of drowned enemies, and the river was red... and so on.

As long as you are not too short-sighted, you can see that there is a problem with this battle report-we cannot say that the battle report is fake, because we were not at the scene, so why should we say that it is not true?The problem is that Fu Heng led 50,000 people to run for a month, but he couldn't see a single Burmese soldier. At this time, as soon as there was a battle, three camps of Burmese soldiers emerged for the Qing soldiers to invade. Well... the most unreliable thing is the pull machine, he actually came by boat from Ava, look at this strange place he came from.Obviously the Qing army was already weak, and the guerrilla tactics in the forest were enough for Fu Heng to drink a pot, but the Burmese went around the river to fight in water. Isn't this extremely weird?

What's even more bizarre is the spy Ernuo captured by Hai Lancha, who is just a spy.In terms of military law, spies are never allowed to know their own situation. If they fall into the enemy's hands, that's fine!But this E Nuo knew his own military situation better than Burmese king Meng Bu, he even knew about Zhan Laji.This clearly has a problem. But when Qianlong received the report, he pretended not to notice these problems, and said with relief: "The first battle was won, the army went smoothly, and my heart is deeply joyful." Jiayue was over, and the history books finally began to admit that Fu Heng was talking nonsense.

What Fu Heng said was the famous Laoguantun battle. In this battle, the Qing soldiers made Burma fight badly.