Chapter 20 Section 4 An Inappropriate Fart

But things in the world are really unimaginable. Just when Chongzhen finished speaking and was enjoying his authority comfortably, a long and resounding fart was born shockingly in the officialdom of Ming Dynasty. This is an inappropriate fart. This is a fart that changes color. It seems to be a wonderful footnote to Chongzhen's discourse, and it is so inseparable and inseparable. Chongzhen was extremely annoyed, because he was sure that the fart was not done by himself.In other words, this is absolutely impossible to be a dragon fart. Since it's not dragon fart, who put it? Who dares to release such an unprecedented fart at this time? !

All the officials covered their noses one by one, and looked at others with contempt, all with expressions of swearing against the fart. Chongzhen said coldly: Who let it go?Stand up for yourself. All the officials look at me and I look at you, all of them are more wronged than Dou E. Chongzhen rose up against the case: stand up! ! ! The officials began to buzz.There was anxiety in this buzzing sound, but there also seemed to be some schadenfreude in it.Chongzhen suddenly felt so powerless and sad when he took the case.A terrifying thought flashed through his mind—he would never know who farted, just like the last anti-corruption campaign where no one turned himself in, this time no one will be taken for a ride .Because Han Yiliang is gone, there will be no more Han Yiliang in the world, and no one will clean up the mess for Chongzhen.Those words he said were destined to come and go without a trace like this inexplicable fart, such a discovery made Chongzhen feel sorry for himself.

At the critical moment, Wang Du stood up. Wang Du resolutely judged that the fart was not someone else, but Zhang Fengxiang. Because Zhang Fengxiang was standing next to him at the moment, his body was full of stench. Zhang Fengxiang was furious: You fart! Wang Du said with a smile, Zhang Fengxiang is a thief calling for a thief.Zhang Fengxiang asked Wang Du to show evidence of his farting. Wang Du said that Zhang Fengxiang was in a hurry just now and was depressed.Wangdu's "fart theory" made the entire court burst into laughter, and everyone felt a burst of relief—there was finally a scapegoat, and we'll see how Zhang Fengxiang solves the problem.Poor Zhang Fengxiang, Shangshu of the Ministry of Industry, was so trapped by a fart that he couldn't do anything.Alas, it is really difficult. The falsification of farts is undoubtedly one of the most difficult things in the world. The inversion of the burden of proof has brought Zhang Fengxiang into a desperate situation in life.

Not only Zhang Fengxiang, Chongzhen also fell into a dilemma. Either just go down the donkey and believe that the fart was done by Zhang Fengxiang; or find out the real person who farted.Chongzhen also had two ends of the head.In fact, anyone can fart, and no one can fart.This is originally a matter based on a sense of moral self-consciousness. In the final analysis, the work of seeking evidence is a last resort. In the final analysis, once the matter enters the step of seeking evidence, it will be extremely absurd and ridiculous. Moreover, the king's intentions are so poisonous!He would not let a fart go, and he would use it to kill Zhang Fengxiang, which shows that this person is definitely not a kind person.Chongzhen fixed his eyes on Wangdu: Tell me, why didn't you put this fart?

Wang Du never expected that Chongzhen would ask such a question, and his face turned green with fright: This...that... What about this...that, I ask you, why didn't you put this fart? Chongzhen's tone sounded light, but it seemed extremely sad. The emperor is hurt? Wang Du jumped on the ground and kowtowed endlessly: Your Majesty, you have been wronged, you have to be careful... Chongzhen said coldly: How can I know about your asshole?He looked up at the officials again: Among you, I dare not say that all of you have problems, but there are definitely some... have problems!Moreover, the problem is not small, and I dare not admit a fart, how can I be an official of Ming Dynasty, and how can I set an example for the people of the world? ! ...Of course, I don't want to hold on to this fart, it's just...I'm sad!A fart can show the loyalty of Daming's officialdom... Tell me, how did you become officials?

Chongzhen spoke quite emotionally, it sounded like a real grievance.The tears of several old ministers fell on the spot, and they all expressed their loyalty, only regretting that this fart was not done by themselves.Said that if the emperor allows, they are willing to claim this fart, "to comfort the sacred heart".Chongzhen waved his hands resolutely, and stopped the absurd attempts of those old ministers in time.In the final analysis, Chongzhen just wanted a few heart-warming words and a step down.Now that the goal is achieved, it doesn't matter who farted. Who in this world hasn't farted yet?

Chongzhen thought magnanimously. In this world, there are many more important things waiting for him to accomplish than farting.Chongzhen tried his best to recall the problem he had to solve before the farting incident.He was very annoyed, his grandma, this imperial meeting went too far off topic. Before Chongzhen could figure it out, Wang Du took the initiative to remind him: Regarding the issue of kickbacks, the root cause of the problem lies with the Ministry of Industry. I was ordered to make inspections in name, but they are monolithic.The corruption of the Ministry of Industry has become a case, Your Majesty!

Chongzhen thought for a while: Is it really so serious? The king's capital is categorical: I'm afraid it will be worse than worse. Chongzhen glanced at Zhang Fengxiang, then at Wangdu: You have no problem at all?I don't understand me, if it is not approved by your royal capital, how will everyone divide up the kickback? After so many years, you haven't taken it at all. You just watched the officials of the Ministry of Industry divide it privately, and you paid it out like a piece of paper. Silt but not stained? Wang Du lowered his head and stopped talking. Chongzhen sighed: This person, it is easy to pick other people's thorns, but it is difficult to pick thorns for oneself... Everyone knows the pain, and they all know that long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, but why can't they bear the pain and pull out the thorns?King's capital!Are you still innocent? !

It's as if the capital has won the bid: Your Majesty... the bad habits of the past few decades should also be broken.It's over, it's not about whoever puts it on, the emperor thinks I'm guilty, so I have nothing to say... Chongzhen sneered: It sounds like you are unwilling! The king is silent.At this time, Gao Laiming, the censor, jumped out to stand up.Gao Lai Mingtai knew the reason why his lips were dead and his teeth were cold. If he didn't stand up now, let alone when. Gao Laiming said that as a censor, he knew that Wang was innocent, and Wang definitely had no intention of taking kickbacks on his own initiative.Eating Naka has nothing to do with Wangdu.As for the unspoken official rules of the Ministry of Industry, this cannot be broken by Wang Du alone.This time, he and Wang Du had already conducted investigations into the kickback incident, and they also left witnesses and physical evidence. They really wanted to wait until the matter was settled before going to the emperor. It's just that Zhang Fengxiang was quicker and told the matter first. Your Majesty, but this does not mean that they are deceitful and do nothing.

Deceitful, do nothing.Chongzhen recited these eight words silently in his heart, feeling that Gao Laiming had really leaked his secrets. Chongzhen thought to himself: These eight words are well said, because they conform to the doctrine of the mean, and because they speak ironically.What is "not equal to", that is called modification, that is called hypocrisy, and that is called "exactly equal to"! But Wangdu couldn't feel Chongzhen's aura. He thought everything could be redeemed, and he thought Chongzhen's target was Zhang Fengxiang.He hoped that he could get away with it, and that before the emperor's huge palm came down, he could escape calmly along the cracks of his fingers.He took advantage of the situation to give the emperor an idea, suggesting that the old man should greatly reduce the "free ticket" of the Ministry of Industry from now on—from now on, he should not give the collar certificate lightly, and give the free ticket lightly, so that he will be self-sufficient in wealth, and there is no need to send more small people.

Chongzhen laughed, hehe, isn't this preventing the Ministry of Industry from doing things?The Ministry of Industry is relaxed, you are also relaxed, and corruption is naturally less, but what does the court eat?What wealth is self-sufficient?Go meet your big head ghost! Wang Du also laughed, because he saw Chongzhen smiling.But soon, Wang couldn't even laugh because he saw Chongzhen sneering.Before the smiles on the faces of Wangdu and Gao Laiming had completely solidified, Chongzhen used Jinyiwei. However, Chongzhen did not expect that the road to anti-corruption would be so difficult. Before Jin Yiwei could take Wangdu and Gao Laiming away, Qian Longxi and other three ministers knelt down and begged for mercy. There is only one reason: the kickbacks given by the Ministry of Industry are indeed bad practices, but Wang and Gao are not to blame. If these two people are indiscriminately made to take the place of dead ghosts, everyone in the officialdom of Ming Dynasty will be in danger. Yes, the emperor has the power of life and death. But the emperor has to be reasonable. Even if the unreasonable emperor is not a faint king, he can never be a holy king. The three ministers knelt down and couldn't get up. A guarded look. Chongzhen's heart was already murderous. These people are thinking about themselves.What is it that "the Ministry of Industry's kickbacks are indeed bad practices, but Wang and Gao are not to blame".The crime lies in the bad rules and not in the specific person. When will the bad rules be broken?Everyone wears a bad helmet to fill their own pockets, who is responsible for the Ming Dynasty?This country really belongs to Chongzhen alone.And none of you are willing to take the place of the dead, and everyone is worried that everyone will be in danger in the future!Hehe, this abacus is too precise, right? Chongzhen casually said: You three...are you still going to intercede for Wang and Gao? San Fuchen: If the emperor doesn't agree, we won't get up. Then you just kneel down.When did I figure it out, and when did I get up again. Your majesty...you can't do this! Chongzhen said darkly: What do I want, Chongzhen, do I still need three approvals? The three ministers were shocked: The emperor misunderstood the old minister. Chongzhen: Misunderstanding?You mean to say—I'm out of my wits? The three assistant ministers hurriedly argued: the old minister dare not. Chongzhen said sternly: Why dare not?How dare you!Dare to persuade anything, is this something you can persuade? The three ministers were stunned: Is this serious?Isn't it because Wang and Gao accidentally became scapegoats for bad practices, why can't they say a few words of justice for them? Jin Yiwei finally took Wangdu and Gao Laiming away, and Qian Longxi and other three assistant ministers were heartbroken. Everything is irreversible. Everything is absurd. The naive emperor thought that by taking away the capital and Gao Laiming, he also took away the corruption of the Ming Dynasty. Alas, the emperor made a fatal mistake. In fact, it doesn't matter if the emperor made a mistake. What matters is that the emperor regards wrong as right. The important thing is that the emperor thinks he is smart. He regards anti-corruption as a one-man show. The long kneeling of the three assistant ministers was as light as a feather in his eyes. He was engaged in a tragic PK with the imagined corruption of Ming Dynasty, but he didn't know that failure was already doomed. There is no doubt that this is a dangerous dynasty, this is a dangerous emperor. Everything was going in a wrong direction, but he was intoxicated by it, and felt that the scenery must be far away when the flowers were blooming like brocades. The hearts of the three assistant ministers are like stagnant water, but Chongzhen's heart is full of ups and downs. There is no doubt that this is a tragic victory. I fired the first shot in Daming's anti-corruption campaign. I will definitely fire the N gun of Ming Dynasty's anti-corruption. Officials are unreliable. The system is unreliable. Reliable can only be the courage of the emperor. And conscience. The conscience of an emperor. Anti-corruption has always been an emperor's business, and the country is red in the pile of bones. In Daming, I will be doomed to be a lonely emperor. A loner. There has never been a minister who would sincerely fight corruption with Chongzhen. Not before, not now, and never will be. Because there is great evil hidden in everyone's heart. Because everyone thinks from the bottom of their hearts that the country belongs to Chongzhen, not to the princes. Once the dynasty changes, the princes of Gungun can abandon the dark and turn to the bright, but I, Chongzhen, can only choose to die for the country. There is no choice at this point. Well, since you are unkind, don't blame me for being unrighteous. Today's article has already started, and I can only bite the bullet and continue. Chongzhen felt a thrill of being a villain. Yes, there is pleasure in being the villain. This is the thrill of justice. This is the thrill of being alone. It's the secret thrill of a regal. Chongzhen turned his attention to the silent, innocent and helpless officials.How he wished they could go forward, go their own way, and be upright, but their expressions were very dull. These science and Taoist officials who are wise and safe. These are the last puppets of the Ming Dynasty. They are responsible for monitoring, but why don't they have a trace of blood on them? Chongzhen knowingly asked: What is the duty of a scientific and Taoist official? ... answer. Supervise hundreds of officials for dereliction of duty. Have you monitored it? The minister thinks that the minister is still competent. Chongzhen laughed wildly: still competent?Do you dare to say that you are still competent?Then let me ask you, why didn't you report the kickbacks that Wang and Gao took? silence. Chongzhen draws his tone: answer. One of the ministers boldly replied: The minister believes that there is no real basis for Wang and Gao to take kickbacks. As soon as this Kechen finished speaking, the whole court suddenly started buzzing. Chongzhen's face turned red as if he had been slapped in public.It wasn't just Kochen's bold reply that annoyed him, he was annoyed by the buzzing, buzzing like flies.They turned into ridicule, gloated and looked on coldly, and rushed towards Chongzhen involuntarily.They are waiting to see Chongzhen's jokes, how an emperor can make a fool of himself, and how he can't justify himself to deceive himself and others.It was only then that Chongzhen felt that there was no real basis for Wang and Gao to take the kickback, and he took it for granted that the two must have taken it. But does it matter? Is there no evidence once, or every time there is no evidence? Is there no evidence, or is there really no evidence? Anti-corruption cannot be entangled in details. Anti-corruption must go straight to the point. Anti-corruption is not a one-time event. Anti-corruption must be carried out steadily and persistently. In such a long-term project, how can the anti-corruption be fair in everything and impeccable in every way? So, how can there be no unjust, false or wrongly decided cases in the anti-corruption campaign? ! It is not terrible to have unjust, false and wrongly decided cases. What is terrible is that some people use unjust, false and wrongly decided cases to oppose anti-corruption. This is absolutely unacceptable! Chongzhen squinted his eyes at Ke Chen: What's your name? Weichen Chen Liangxun. Chongzhen smacked at the name: Chen Liangxun?What a good name... a family with good training will prosper, and a state with good training will make the world peaceful... But, what a pity, what a pity, you ruined a good name! There was an uproar at the court. Chen Liangxun refused to accept, but dared not argue. Chongzhen was extremely strict: You are confused!I don't know where the great events of the country are, and where are the great disasters of the country?you are lazy!There is no real evidence for Wang and Gao to take kickbacks, won't you find out the real evidence for me?This is what you are supposed to do! Chen Liangxun's temper also came up: I am confused, but I dare not fabricate facts. Manchu was in an uproar again. Chongzhen: Did I tell you to fabricate facts?It seems that you are indeed confused, come—— The three ministers who were kneeling on the ground were filled with righteous indignation and wanted to speak, and Chongzhen castrated their desire to speak in time—a bunch of idiots!A bunch of short-sighted fools!He thought he was old enough to seek the country, but in the end it was useless.Don't let them speak, absolutely don't let them speak! Chongzhen took extraordinary measures to imprison Chen Liangxun and other officials. Not one, but all the science officials went in. Since none of the officials dared to fight corruption, then there should be no officials. Daming can still play without you. Perhaps, without you, the state machinery of the Ming Dynasty would be even more troublesome. And you, these so-called auxiliary ministers, if you don't turn yourself into lubricating oil, then you are always ready to stay away from the state machinery of my Ming Dynasty. Chongzhen thought so fiercely. Of course, there was another person, Chongzhen didn't know whether to commend or punish. Zhang Fengxiang. The problem of the Ministry of Industry has a long history. As the minister of the Ministry of Industry, Zhang Fengxiang cannot absolve himself of the blame. But Zhang Fengxiang's courage to expose his family's ugliness is rare. To award or to punish, this is indeed a question. Chongzhen stared at Zhang Fengxiang for a long time, unable to make up his mind for a moment. Once, in his life, there were too many bad experiences in which those who should be awarded were punished, and those who should be punished were rewarded.He can only sigh that the world is impermanent and people's hearts are like water. He never thought he had a problem with his IQ. Chongzhen has always believed that the emperor has two bottom lines that cannot be broken: one is sex; the other is IQ. Chongzhen is confident that he has no problems in these two aspects. The problem is the world. It is the eyes of those mediocre people. Is Zhang Fengxiang a mediocre person? Chongzhen didn't feel like it. Zhang Fengxiang spoke. He is protecting two people. Wangdu and Gao Laiming. Zhang Fengxiang took all the responsibility on himself. He believed that the bad regulations of the Ministry of Industry had existed for a long time but he had not reported them. After all, he still had a selfish motive. However, Wang Du and Gao Laiming did not make a big mistake in discussing the matter. Chongzhen remained silent. When Zhang Fengxiang said these words at this moment, he was either pretending to be a hypocrite, seeming a traitor to be loyal, or he was the number one minister of the Ming Dynasty. Zhang Fengxiang proposed to resign from the post of Shangshu of the Ministry of Industry and return home. Chongzhen remained silent. To be honest, since Chongzhen came to power, he had to face the resignation of Ming officials almost every day. Some of these resignations are based on retreat, some are forced, and some are intended for other purposes. Of course, the real resignation of taking the blame is not ruled out. Zhang Fengxiang proposed to resign from the post of Shangshu of the Ministry of Industry, his intention was too vague, and his purpose was too unclear. He seemed to be devoutly repentant, but at the same time seemed a little angry, and even careless. To be honest, Chongzhen really couldn't accept his resignation at this time. The crater of the Ministry of Industry has just sprayed out some dirty things, and the violent eruption is still to come. At this critical moment, who will go forward to take the thunder? Therefore, regardless of whether Zhang Fengxiang is a faker who seems true, a traitor who seems loyal, or the number one minister of my Ming Dynasty, he must continue to sit in the position of minister of the Ministry of Industry and investigate the problems of the Ministry of Industry thoroughly. This is the truth about my officialdom in the Ming Dynasty, and this is the unspoken rule that no one dares to break in my officialdom in the Ming Dynasty. Chongzhen closed his eyes, and a line of clear tears flowed down the corners of his eyes. And almost at this time, a loud fart was born again, and the officialdom of the Ming Dynasty was buzzing again, everyone was hostile to each other, and everyone was ready to participate in impeachment.Chongzhen waved his hand feebly: I did the fart just now... All the officials were relieved, fell to their knees and shouted in unison: The emperor's dragon fart is auspicious!