Chapter 15 15. There are a lot of jokes in the aftermath of the Restoration: Treat it as a comedy

The Restoration of Zhang Xun was a farce, and it was also a farce at the same time. Shiren Tianchansheng recorded all kinds of jokes and scandals during the period in "The Inside Story of Restoration", and picked up a few for readers. In the season of restoration, nothing is more precious than the braid on the back of the head.As we all know, Zhang Xun not only wears braids himself, but all his troops also wear braids. The "braid army" deserves its name.It is said that when Zhang Xun went to see the Qing emperor, the Taibao Shi continued to say that the braids were not suitable for the times and advised him to cut off the braids.After hearing this, Zhang Xun was very annoyed, so he stood up in front of the Qing emperor and defended his braids: "All my soldiers have braids. The reason why these soldiers have braids is of great military importance. It is precisely because my soldiers They all wear braids, so it's hard for treacherous people to get in. Now, don't all these traitors have braids?"

On the afternoon of the restoration, when his subordinates reported that there were people with braids everywhere in the street, Zhang Xun was overjoyed. He slapped his legs and raised his beard and laughed loudly: "I said that people's hearts will never forget the old master. Today is what I said. Otherwise, where did you come from?" What about the many people with braids? This is what the people want!" Among these restoration masters, all of them kept their braids intact, but Kang Youwei's braids were short and bald, hanging down no more than six or seven inches, shaggy like rushes.When someone accused him of not being a restorationist, Master Kang argued: "I have been exiled overseas since the 1898 revolution, and I had to cut my hair and wear it easily. After the Revolution of 1911, I returned to the motherland and grew my hair again. There are more than one year, so the growth is not enough to fill the ears." People asked him, after the Xinhai year, everyone else cut their hair, why do you want to grow it instead?Master Kang said triumphantly, "I expected this day!"

Not only did Kang Youwei have short braids, but he also shaved off his beard in order to conceal himself in Beijing.After the restoration was completed, Master Kang hoped to get the seat of Shoukui (chief cabinet scholar). When Zhang Xun asked Xuantong for instructions, Concubine Jin thought it was impossible, saying that there had never been a prime minister without a beard in this dynasty.When Kang Youwei learned about it, he was extremely depressed, and hurriedly bought beard water from a drugstore, applied it two or three times within an hour, and took a picture of himself in the mirror from time to time, just like a farmer looking at the seedlings.

Li Jingxi, who had just been the prime minister for half a month, came to Zhang Xun in a hurry when he heard the news of the restoration, and asked him why he didn't notify him, and he didn't arrange any position for him!Zhang Xun said with a smile: "Old Jiu, don't blame me. As far as your qualifications are concerned, of course you have the hope of being a chancellor. However, your future has been ruined by not having a braid. I am thinking for you, and I am really sorry worth." Li Jingxi said angrily: "Is this really the case? Does Li Shengduo (one of the five ministers who went abroad to investigate the constitutional government in 1905) have braids? Why did he become the Minister of Agriculture, Industry and Commerce?" Zhang Xun said: "Although he shaved his hair, But it is a little credit for the restoration. If you want to serve the Qing Dynasty minister again, go back and grow your hair, and then I will give you a solution." Li Jingxi sneered: "I am afraid that if my hair grows, the chancellor Shangshu will still not be able to bear it." It's up to me!" After saying that, Li Jingxi left Beijing and ran away.

Speaking of Li Jingxi, Zhang Xun deliberately picked him up in Tianjin on the way to Beijing, and the two went to Beijing together.On the train, Li Jingxi saw that Zhang Xun was carrying a huge box, and he took great care of it, as if it contained extremely important items.Li Jingxi felt strange, so he asked Zhang Xun what was inside, Zhang Xun pretended to be mysterious, and smiled without answering.Li Jingxi couldn't stop being curious, and asked again and again, Zhang Xun whispered mysteriously that there were "boots and hats, robes, and feather tops" (that is, official uniforms of the Qing Dynasty) inside.Li asked him why he brought this, Zhang Xun said: "I haven't seen the young master for a long time, this time I will go to the palace to pay my respects. You are also a minister first, why don't you go to have an audience with me?" Li Jingxi thought I was the prime minister of the Republic of China, How could I go to see the abolished emperor of the previous dynasty, so I shirked it on the grounds that I didn't bring the official uniform.But Zhang Xun said seriously: "It's okay, I have several copies here, and I can just lend you a set at that time." Li Jingxi agreed casually because he was joking.

When he arrived in Beijing, Zhang Xunzhen was going to the palace to meet Xuantong, and he insisted on pulling Li Jingxi up before leaving. Li Jingxi felt that it was inconvenient, so he politely declined because he had no official uniform.Zhang Xun was very disapproving, so he took off the official hat on his head and put it on Li Jingxi's head. He laughed and said, "Why don't you wear the crown and wear it?" Finally, Li Jingxi found an excuse when he was halfway there. He ran away, which is probably one of the reasons why Zhang Xun didn't give him an official title. After the restoration of Zhang Xun, he drafted a memorial for President Li Yuanhong to return to power, but he was quite hesitant about the title of Li Yuanhong in his criticism. At first he wanted to call him "President", which was not appropriate; It is called "the minister", but the head of the Republic of China should not be called "the minister" after all.After thinking about it for a long time, it took a lot of brainpower.In the end, Kang Youwei said that it would be better to call him "the member".Everyone asked why.Kang Youwei said that China originally belonged to His Majesty. Because of the Revolution of 1911, His Majesty entrusted Yuan Shikai with the management of major affairs in the world for the sake of peace and peace. After Yuan Shikai died, Li Yuanhong succeeded him. Calling "this member" is the best!

Later, Zhang Xun sent Liang Dingfen to the presidential palace as a representative to demand that Li Yuanhong return the great government. However, Liang Dingfen never bowed, and he reluctantly bowed. The appearance is really ridiculous.I saw him bent over, with his hands on the ground, his head lowered to his hips, his buttocks high, his red neck behind him, panting like a cow, he was far less comfortable than kneeling and prostrating.After the restoration failed, Liang Dingfen went to see Li Yuanhong again, proclaiming himself the President, and knelt down to worship.Li Yuanhong sneered and said, "How can you be arrogant and then respectful?" Liang Dingfen said shyly, "This time, that time!"

After the Restoration, Zhang Xun printed a famous thorn for himself. This famous thorn is about nine inches long and four inches wide. The five lines of official titles are juxtaposed, and everyone who sees it laughs.But Zhang Xun was complacent, thinking that there was no one more beautiful than him in the Qing Dynasty. After Zhang Xun was awarded the title of "Prince of Loyalty and Bravery", his minions were elated and overjoyed, but a secretary under his command suddenly resigned to Zhang Xun.Zhang Xun was stunned and asked him what he meant.The secretary said that since the commander-in-chief is named a prince, he should call himself a slave to Xuantong, and we should call the commander-in-chief a slave. Although I am poor, I don't want to be a slave, let alone a slave of a slave.Zhang Xun was furious, and cursed: "You haven't been called a slave yet! If you want to leave, just leave!" After finishing speaking, let the gentleman get out immediately.

Zhang Xun's wife, Mrs. Cao, opposed the restoration, but unfortunately she was a woman, and Zhang Xun refused to listen to her advice.After the restoration was successful, Zhang Xun triumphantly told Cao that he had been conferred the title of "Prince of Loyalty and Bravery". Unexpectedly, Cao scolded him and said: "The Republic of China treats you well. Even if you don’t think about yourself, don’t you think about your descendants? Today you have been named the Prince of Zhongyong, and I’m afraid that you will become King of Pingjian tomorrow!” Zhang Xun was puzzled and asked, “Prince of Pingjian What do you mean?" Mrs. Cao said, "You will not be able to protect the leader in the future, and your head will be cut off with one knife. Isn't your neck level with your shoulders?" Zhang Xun was furious when he heard this, and he slammed the door and left.

Zhang Xun has two nephews, one Bi Ting and one Min Zhai, who also opposed the restoration. Zeng Xianghe advised Zhang Xun, saying: "My uncle bears the weight of the world, and we must not risk the world's disgrace. Now The people who run around you and offer advice are all planning for themselves, how can you fall into their trap?" After hearing this, Zhang Xun yelled angrily, "You little children, what do you know!" In fact, what Zhang Xun himself knows, I'm afraid he I don't even know. After Duan Qirui took his oath at the horse factory, the Donglu rebellious army then advanced into Fengtai and had a fierce exchange of fire with the braided army.In this battle, there is one thing worth recording, that is, the Nanyuan Aviation School's rebellious air team made its first battle and dropped bombs on the braided army's position and the palace.This should be regarded as China's first air force combat, and it still bombed the Forbidden City.

According to records, the Forbidden City suffered a total of three bombs. Although they were all small bombs with the length of a foot, they were enough to scare the little emperor Puyi, concubines, ministers, and eunuchs in the palace.After the bomb was dropped, these people panicked and hid under the bed one after another, as if the place where they slept was the safest.Of the three historic bombs, one fell outside the gate of Longzong and injured a bearer; the other fell by the pool in the Imperial Garden and damaged a corner of the pool; Although there was no explosion on the tile eaves of Longfumen Street, it scared the eunuchs who gathered there to gamble half to death. Lei Zhenchun, Minister of the Army Department, was the first to participate in the restoration. I heard that the reason why Zhang Xun appointed him as Minister of the Army Department was because of his good name, "Spring Thunder Rolling, Deafening"!This General Zhenwei, who was born in a small station, had once served as the admiral of Jiangbei and the commander of the seventh town. During Yuan Shikai's period, he restored the old comrades.This time he was appointed Minister of the Ministry of Army, and Lei Zhenchun wore a brand-new imperial uniform, and rode a motorcycle to the palace to thank him.After arriving at the palace gate, before the car stopped, Lei Zhenchun jumped out of the car, and fell four or five feet away, bleeding from his forehead.The guard hurried forward to help him, and asked: "My lord, is it painful?" Lei Zhenchun said: "If you feel happy, you don't feel pain." After thanking him, Lei Zhenchun was rewarded to ride a horse in the Forbidden City. Unexpectedly, within a few days of taking office, the rebellious army invaded Beijing. Lei Zhenchun had to disguise himself as a poor man, and pulled a rickshaw out of Zhengyangmen in a hurry, trying to escape from the East Railway Station.Unexpectedly, the makeup skills are not good enough, and he will be recognized soon, but he is still arrested.Later, someone drew a funny picture in the newspaper, and accompanied it with a couplet: "Not riding a horse in the Forbidden City, but coming to Zhengyangmen to pull a cart!" Zhu Jiabao, the governor of Zhili, was one of the local officials who actively responded to the restoration. He was originally a Jinshi in the Guangxu period, and he was good at calligraphy.During the Revolution of 1911, the Anhui governor was forced to "anyway" due to the situation, but the revolutionary party did not allow him to make a revolution. As a result, the self-proclaimed Anhui military governor had to flee the city at night.This time, he was very excited when he heard that he had been named Minister of the Ministry of Civil Affairs. Not only did he order the whole city to hang dragon flags, but he also ordered people to set up incense cases in the lobby, to look at the palace to express gratitude, and to bow three times and kowtow nine times. After Zhu Jiabao finished his salute, he couldn't get up because he had been kneeling for a long time, and finally relied on the soldiers around him to tuck him up.After returning home, Zhu Jiabao specially practiced kneeling and prostrating every night until his knees and legs were sore and weak, in order to prevent disrespect during the meeting.Unexpectedly, in less than three days, he was forced out of the warlord's office by Duan Qirui's rebellious army, and the five-color flag was hoisted again in Tianjin.This is good, Zhu Jiabao’s official book was not completed, and the governor of Zhili was also lost. He hated him and scolded: "The republic wronged me, and the restoration also wronged me!" After the braided army failed in the battle against the rebellious army, Zhang Xun had no choice but to ask the Qing Dynasty to resign from the post of Governor of Zhili and Minister of State.Qing Shi asked Zhang Xun where he wanted to go. Zhang Xun said that he would lead the team back to Xuzhou, and asked Qing Shi to give him ten thousand taels of gold as a reward for his work.Xuantong said: "The gold ten thousand taels is more than 400,000 yuan. I have only been on the throne for seven days. If I give you 400,000 yuan, wouldn't it take 50,000 yuan a day to buy an emperor?" After the government, in the past six years, the veterans have paid no less than 500,000 yuan. I came here today to ask for ten thousand taels of gold, which is not too much, right?" Concubine Jin said: "Now the restoration will disappear, and the 4 million years of preferential treatment in the Republic of China every year , will be ruined in your hands, who shall we ask for it?" After Zhang Xun heard this, he retreated silently. When the rebellious army was about to attack the capital, all the puppet officials appointed by Zhang Xun fled everywhere like frightened birds. Only Lao Nai, Minister of the Ministry of Justice, swore that he would not die. Others advised him to run away quickly. Lao Nai declared: " In the former Qing Dynasty, I was just an envoy to promote learning. Now I have been recommended by the Holy Grace to be in charge of the judicial organs of the country. Although I have been in office for a few days, I have never handled any civil and criminal cases in various provinces. If you leave your post without authorization again, you will feel sorry for the emperor. The only way to deal with it now is to hold on to a doctrine, life is an official of the Ministry of Justice, and death is the ghost of the Ministry of Justice. I am now in the lobby, hanging A huge rope, if the rebels enter the city, I will hang myself here to serve the emperor.” But after checking the birth and death dates of Lao Naixuan, it was found that Lao Lao died in 1921, presumably he was rescued by others when he committed suicide. Speaking of this Lao Naixuan, he was an extremely stubborn old Hanlin. After the founding of the Republic of China, he hid in Qingdao and swore not to be an official of the Republic of China.This time, he was appreciated by Zhang Xun and became a senior official of the Ministry of Justice, but this person came from a traditional fame and knew nothing about modern law.In order to prevent others from ridiculing him for not knowing what the law is, Lao Naixuan bought a copy of "Laws of the Qing Dynasty" from Liulichang, and read it every day from morning till night.Seeing that he was still working so hard in his old age, his friends persuaded him, "Even if you try your best, you can't remember so much. Besides, after the New Deal, the old laws are no longer applicable. You should read more about the new laws. That's the solution." Lao Naixuan was very unhappy after hearing this: "Of course the Qing Empire should follow the Qing laws, I don't want to read any new laws!" This person's stubbornness can be imagined. On the contrary, Jiang Yong, who was appointed as the left servant of the Ministry of Justice at the same time, had self-knowledge. After receiving the appointment, he was inexplicably surprised, and then wrote to Zhang Xun to joke: "I have neither the capital for restoration, nor have I been equal to the public. It is really puzzling to get this position suddenly. It must be because I was the deputy minister of justice before, and I have a little knowledge and experience of the new laws of the Republic of China. But I have never paid attention to the laws of the Empire. If the public insists on me taking this position, I have no choice but to enter the Imperial Law University first. After I have learned something and obtained a diploma, it will not be too late to follow suit. If there is a vacant position, it is fine.” Jiang Yong is not a restorationist , Isn't it absurd to appoint him as the left servant of the Ministry of Justice? After the restoration failed, most of the elders who had actively participated in the past fled ahead of time, and only a few unlucky ones were caught by the rebel army.His master Kang Youwei was the first to escape. He had been hiding in Tibet since the Reform Movement of 1898 failed. It is said that Kang Youwei did not want to escape at first, but wanted to go to Fayuan Temple to shave or become a monk, but Liang Dingfen, a fellow villager, saw through and scolded: "You don't shave your hair early, and you don't shave your hair at night, but you just became a monk in this morning light. Do you want to escape?" Kang Youwei said, "Nonsense, how many times have you seen me run away?" Liang Dingfen laughed and said, "If you didn't escape during the 1898 campaign, how could you live to this day? Since you are here this time, since you want to be a hero of the restoration , don’t be afraid of death, and don’t come if you are afraid of death. If you succeed, you will take credit for it, and if you fail, you will regret your life. Is there a saint like you? From today, I will not recognize you as a Cantonese.” During the restoration period, Kang Youwei and Zhang Xun, the "two saints of civil and military affairs", made a lot of jokes.After the war against rebellion began, both Feng Guozhang and Duan Qirui offered 100,000 yuan to buy Zhang Xun's head. Kang Youwei was very happy to hear that, saying that the Empress Dowager Cixi also offered a reward of 100,000 taels of silver to buy his head in the year of 1898. It seems that he and Zhang Xun Xun's value is about the same, but he is not included in the wanted list, presumably because his disciples turned it around. After hearing this, Zhang Xun laughed and said: "You were only one hundred thousand taels of silver back then, and I am two hundred thousand taels this time, which is worth half of my worth at most. Besides, the reason why you are not on the wanted list this time is because People think your head is worthless!" After teasing Mrs. Kang, Zhang Xun said proudly: "Both Feng and Duan offered 100,000 yuan to buy my head. Damn, everyone wants to buy my head. I am rich, if I have a way to transform, I would like to transform into two Zhang Xun!" Once, Zhang Xun and Master Kang were bragging together again, Zhang Xun said: "My name is Zhang Xun, and today I have established an inexhaustible honor." Kang Master laughed: "My name is Youwei, and today I am also very promising. Moreover, my name is not only related to myself, but also has a special relationship with the country. In "The Doctrine of the Mean", it is said that "wealth is everywhere, and you are the son of heaven", so my name is embedded with the words "you" and "wei". After hearing this, Zhang Xun thought for a while, slapped his legs and scolded: "Damn, you named it with the word 'You Wei', don't you still want to be the emperor?" Master Kang hurriedly said: " I dare not dare, I really dare not!" Another time, Mrs. Kang was very upset that he won the vice president of Bute Academy because of himself, so he complained and scolded Zhang Xun, saying: "Since I was appointed for a false position, why bother to send a telegram to invite me to Beijing? After Zhang Xun heard about it, he said angrily: "He doesn't have to do anything, he just got a ready-made position in Bute Court, and now he is not greedy enough. "If he slanders me behind my back again, I will use brutal means to deal with him." After hearing this, Master Kang smiled and said, "Others are afraid of him, but I am not afraid of him." Someone asked why, and Master Kang said : "He has a small gun by his side, and I have a big gun by my side! Comparing them, it depends on who is better!" Zhang Xun's restoration failed, and the public opinion was almost overwhelmingly calling it perverse, but an old comrade of the restoration stood up and said something fair for Zhang Xun.Who is this person?It turned out to be Ruan Zhongshu, a supporter of the Hongxian Monarchy, but Yuan Shikai's former popular man resisted all opinions, saying that although Zhang Xun's actions were close to careless, he was still a fierce hero.Zhang Xun was overjoyed when he heard about it, and said, "I've been friends for half my life, and if I have this righteous friend, I will die with peace in my eyes!" The most prominent characteristics of Zhang Xun's character are tradition, solid eyes, a little simple and honest, but also very irritable. When these characteristics are combined in a warrior, it is almost stubborn.Think about it, during the Revolution of 1911, it was clear that the days of the Qing Dynasty were numbered, and many officials and soldiers turned their backs overnight, but Zhang Xun was the only one who refused to admit defeat and remained loyal to the end. The coalition attack on Nanjing was the most tragic battle in the entire 1911 Revolution. It took ten days of bloody battles for the civilian army to recover Nanjing. Zhang Xun has a strong sense of hometown, and he takes good care of his elders in his hometown. For example, the people in his hometown of Fengxin Chitian Village in Jiangxi Province have gained a lot of glory. Zhang Xun built a big tile-roofed house for each family, and gave them what they lacked.When Jiangxi people need to build a guild hall for business in other places, whenever they find Zhang Xun, he will generously donate.For example, the Jiangxi Guild Hall in Beijing during the Republic of China was all paid by Zhang Xun. The Jiangxi Guild Hall outside Xuanwu Gate was regarded as the most luxurious Western-style building in Beijing at that time. There is a generator to provide lights for singing at night.For Jiangxi students studying in Beijing, especially those from Fengxin County, Zhang Xun was more responsive and provided valuable scholarships. Zhang Xun has a hobby that has been intoxicated for many years, which is Peking Opera, and he can also be regarded as an enthusiast.During the war against rebellion, Zhang Xun heard that Duan Qirui had sent Duan Zhigui and Cao Kun as the commanders of the East and West Routes to crusade, so he said to Lei Zhenchun and others: "Everyone, don't panic. In my opinion, the two routes The soldiers will be able to settle down in just a few days." When people asked why, Zhang Xun lifted his beard and smiled and said, "Duan Zhigui, the commander of the East Road, Duan is also 'broken'. When our soldiers fight him, I promise to cut him into two pieces with one knife. As for Cao Kun, the commander of the West Road, is even less concerned. Didn’t it be clear in the "Three Kingdoms" that Cao’s army was most afraid of Zhang Yide, and Chang Banpo’s loud roar scared off millions of Cao’s soldiers. When Cao Kun’s soldiers arrived at Lugou Bridge, That is to say, ride alone, go to drink him, and he will know how powerful I am." Speaking of this, Zhang Xun danced with pride... In fact, these jokes all come from the Beijing opera "Changbanpo", and Zhang Xun has always claimed to be the second mang Zhang Fei. In 1922, Zhang Xun, who had failed in the restoration for five years, opened a hall at home to celebrate his 70th birthday. Some famous opera actors such as Yang Xiaolou, Mei Lanfang, Yu Shuyan, etc., led by Sun Juxian, a veteran of the Peking Opera circle in his 80s, came to the theater to celebrate his 70th birthday. The Zhangjia Garden who came to Tianjin to celebrate Zhang Xun's birthday also became an unprecedented event in Liyuan at that time.In front of Zhang Xun, of course these famous actors worked hard, and the rewards they received were quite generous.Especially Sun Juxian, Zhang Xun is his old theater fan, and the reward he gave this time was as high as 600 yuan, which moved Sun Juxian to tears, saying: "Those who understand theater, Zhang Xun is also! After Zhang Xun's death, Sun Juxian even cried and fell to the ground, saying: "Huang Zhong Dalu, I'm afraid I will die!" Where is the emperor's son in the pavilion now? Outside the fence, the Yangtze River flows in the air.Yuan Shikai's restoration failed, and Zhang Xun's restoration also failed. This shows that after the Republic of China, false emperors were not allowed to be, nor were real emperors.In response to Liang Qichao's words, once a Bodhisattva whose throne is like a clay puppet on a wall is thrown into a pigsty, even if he is washed and worshiped again, he has already lost his sanctity.