Chapter 19 Ancient Capital · "Home" · Taiping Lake

The train sped north along a familiar railway. Ba Jin sat at the window of the speeding train, looking at the mountains and rivers, fields and rows of forests that turned green in the spring breeze.The green field in the south of the Yangtze River quickly changed from the old man's eyes to the land in the north that has not yet spit out green.Time is already May 1978. Ba Jin came to Beijing again. This is his third visit to Beijing after the "Cultural Revolution". The ancient and majestic capital city has always been a place that Ba Jin has always dreamed of.Since he returned to Shanghai in June 1966 to participate in the emergency meeting of Asian and African writers here, it has been eleven years in the blink of an eye.During this period, Ba Jin lost his freedom, and he never had a chance to go out of Shanghai. Of course, Beijing became his favorite place. In October 1977, Ba Jin suddenly received a notice from his superiors asking him to accompany the Shanghai People's Delegation to Beijing, the capital, to attend the opening of the Mao Zedong Memorial Hall.He was very excited to go to Beijing with the delegation to pay homage to Mao Zedong's remains.

This is the first time that Ba Jin has come to Beijing after setting things right.It's been a long time since the ancient capital, however, Beijing's golden autumn still makes old writers yearn for it.Because there are many friends in the literary world here, and there are also unforgettable memories of Ba Jin.Although the "Cultural Revolution" launched by Mao Zedong brought disaster to him, in the writer's heart, the admiration for this great man has never changed.In the memorial hall, Ba Jin faced the giant's body and meditated for a long time.The clouds of history seemed to be churning in his mind at that moment, and then frozen in his mind.The history he personally experienced constitutes a new inspiration for Ba Jin's image thinking.He admits that anyone, including a generation of giants lying quietly in a crystal coffin, has historical limitations and even makes mistakes.And Ba Jin realized many truths of life from Mao Zedong's life.

Ba Jin came to Beijing for the second time in February 1978. That was the first time he attended the National People's Congress in the late period of the "Cultural Revolution".Many long-lost friends were reunited and reunited at this meeting.After more than ten years of wind and rain, the resplendent Great Hall of the People is still as majestic as before.It's just that Ba Jin feels a little sad that many familiar friends are gone.Among them, the person he misses the most is Zhou Enlai.It was also on this occasion that Ba Jin took up his pen and wrote an article in memory of Zhou Gong, because among the leaders of the Chinese Communist Party, he admired Zhou Enlai the most.Now, when Ba Jin walked into this familiar and splendid building with representatives from all over the country, he couldn't help feeling a world away.

This time—just three months after attending the first meeting of the Fifth National People's Congress, Ba Jin came to Beijing again, as a representative to attend the third meeting of the third China Federation of Literary and Art Circles.As one of the leaders of the China Federation of Literary and Art Circles, Ba Jin knew what this meeting meant to him and all the literary and art circles who survived the catastrophe.This is undoubtedly a real liberation, and it is also a rare grand gathering after the turmoil.Ba Jin never dreamed that he would have such an opportunity in his lifetime.

"It was my work forty-six years ago. Over the past forty-six years, I have written several prefaces, postscripts and essays, talking about my own views on this work at different times, mostly talking about the results of creation and the author's thoughts at that time. He seldom talked about the shortcomings of the novel and its negative effects.” Before Ba Jin went to Beijing to attend the National Literature Congress, Beijing’s People’s Literature Publishing House had already done too much to republish his famous novel published in Shanghai 46 years ago. times of negotiation.Ba Jin never imagined that he would see a national-level publishing house in his lifetime, and one day he would republish his novel that was criticized many times during the "Cultural Revolution". Before the "Cultural Revolution", there were still a small number of original editions in the study on the second floor of his home. During the "Cultural Revolution", all the books upstairs were confiscated by the rebels.After liberation, he only had one copy at hand, and it was reprinted after liberation.At that time, the earth had already thawed, and some friends who were lucky enough to come to his small building on Wukang Road wished to ask for a copy signed by Ba Jin as a souvenir.However, Ba Jin had almost no books to give to his friends at that time.Now the People's Literature Publishing House has taken the initiative to republish this book, which is the greatest blessing for Ba Jin.The publishing house hoped that he would write another preface or postscript in his own hand before the book was republished.Therefore, Ba Jin had already prepared the draft before he left for Beijing. He didn't know how to talk about his hard work——to today's readers? !

Ba Jin lived in the old building of the Beijing Hotel again. He is very familiar with this place. Before the "Cultural Revolution", he came to Beijing many times, and most of them stayed here.Today, Ba Jin came to Chang'an Street and found that it was still as bustling and noisy as before, with cars like flowing water and horses like dragons.Chang'an Avenue, long time no see!He remembered that when he was under the dictatorship in Shanghai, as long as he heard the live broadcast of Mao Zedong meeting the Red Guards on the radio, Ba Jin would think of the wide and straight long street in front of him.

After all, the situation has changed drastically.This is not a dream, but a living reality.After the "Gang of Four" was smashed, Ba Jin was indeed much younger than before. Although there was a hint of melancholy on his face from time to time, it was because he was missing his dead wife, but he had gradually dispelled the haze from the bottom of his heart.I am 74 years old now, and I have reached the twilight years of my life, but Ba Jin does not feel that his body is worse than others.At the age of 73, in the fall of that year, he finally finished the first and second volumes of "My Past and Thoughts".This shows that his treasured sword is not old. After the translation, his friend He Qifang in Beijing learned of this, and immediately sent a letter to Ba Jin, saying that he had read the article Ba Jin published in the newspaper and heard that he was translating. After Herzen's memoirs, he was very moved, saying that he must learn from Ba Jin and learn one more foreign language.Because only in this way can we catch up with the situation, Ba Jin was naturally very excited.

Ba Jin's Shanghai apartment is no longer empty, and many senior government officials who previously ignored him are now starting to file in.He was particularly excited that in September last year, Ba Jin was allowed to meet two old Japanese friends of his in Shanghai, one was the respected Nakajima Kenzo, and the other was Mr. Inoue Yasushi, an outstanding figure in the Japanese literary world. Ba Jin was not only happy with these things, shortly after the People's Literature Publishing House decided to republish his novel, the relevant departments allowed Ba Jin's French version to be published abroad.When he picked up the pen to write the preface for the French translation, Ba Jin really realized that the spring of his literature had come.

When "Shanghai Literature" resumed publication in October last year, the editorial department took the initiative to ask the old man for a manuscript. At this time, he decided to publish his revised short story "Comrade Yang Lin".This is a plot carefully refined from the novella "Three Comrades" that he revised many times but refused to sell easily.It should be said that this "Comrade Yang Lin" is the most satisfying one in Ba Jin's novel creation in his later years.Of course, what Ba Jin hopes is not for it to cause a sensation in the literary world, but to fulfill a dream he has had for many years!He always thought that he owed a debt to those heroes on the Korean battlefield, of course it was a literary debt!Now the old man finally paid off!

Ba Jin feels that in the past year, he has also really turned around politically.At the end of December, the first session of the Seventh Shanghai Municipal People's Congress and the first plenary session of the Fifth Shanghai Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference were held simultaneously.Ba Jin sat on the rostrum of the conference again. When Ba Jin's TV picture appeared on the TV screens of thousands of households, the audience sitting in front of the TV unexpectedly cheered: "Ba Jin is out!" "I didn't expect him to be alive!"

"Look, the old man Ba ​​Jin is still as energetic as before. He is not old, but his hair is all white!" That is, not long after his public appearance, Ba Jin delivered a speech entitled "Eliminate Evil and Do Everything" at a symposium held by the editorial department of "People's Daily".After this talk was published in the newspaper, readers all over the country saw the long-lost Ba Jin!Ba Jin has returned to the long-lost literary world! For Ba Jin, 1978 was undoubtedly an exciting year.As early as late February, he came to the capital from Shanghai.Ba Jin once again attended the first meeting of the Fifth National People's Congress as a people's representative.In the same month, his new translation of "Virgin Land" was published by Beijing People's Literature Publishing House, which brought infinite joy to Ba Jin who attended the meeting, and he felt that he could write again.It was the beginning of March when the conference ended. Ba Jin started to write intensely immediately after returning to Shanghai. He felt that the time in the past was wasted, but now the time is too tight for him. He has a series of huge writing plans. In front of him, the translation of Herzen's memoirs had just begun, and the novel he had conceived for many years had only written a few thousand words. At this time, manuscript requests from various newspapers came to him frequently, and Ba Jin was really overwhelmed.However, he still finds time to do work for others. For example, an interview transcript "The Drafting Process of the Declaration of Chinese Literary and Art Workers and Others" by the Annotation Team of Lu Xun's Works of the Chinese Department of Shanghai Normal University is placed in front of the old man. He must Taking time out, the reason why the old man is like this is that he thinks he is honored to be able to do some work for others to study Lu Xun. Today, the spring breeze in May has turned the land of Saibei green.Ba Jin had no choice but to put down the manuscript for the time being, and hurried to Beijing to attend the third (enlarged) meeting of the third China Federation of Literary and Art Circles.He is going to deliver a speech at this meeting, and Ba Jin has already read and reread this speech "Welcoming the Spring of Socialist Literature and Art", and revised it again and again.Just when Ba Jin was revising this speech, his respected senior Guo Moruo passed away suddenly!Ba Jin felt sad. Originally, he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity of the conference break to visit Mr. Guo at his residence near Beihai. However, he did not expect that Guo Moruo, a literary senior who also suffered from the disaster of the "Cultural Revolution", waved his hand to the west when the country was moving toward the renewal of Vientiane. . At this time, Ba Jin's thoughts are still at the level where the shadows are finally fading.He hopes to talk about his mistakes in this postscript of his own.He wants to say this to readers: "I have been writing for twenty years in China's semi-feudal and semi-colonial society, and I have written works of several million words, many of which are bad and relatively bad. Even my best Works are nothing more than a medical certificate issued by an unsophisticated doctor, seeing some problems in the old society, but unable to prescribe a cure for the disease...” Ba Jin is still writing his own critique!His thoughts at that time were still in self-examination and self-enlightenment and reflections on the feudal thoughts deep in the soul.Ba Jin did not deliberately pretend to be false modesty, but the historical background at that time left too deep and heavy imprint on his mind.He always feels that he is still a character who needs to be reformed, although his problems have already been solved, the freedom of writing and attending various social activities have allowed Ba Jin to regain the forgotten world.However, once bitten by a snake, the fear of well ropes for three years and the "inferiority" of writers in the old era still constrain his ideas from time to time. Later, when it was republished, Ba Jin really translated some of the above thoughts into words and wrote them into the postscript of the book.What makes readers feel incomprehensible is that Ba Jin dissects his own soul so seriously in this postscript: "My personal likes and dislikes are too deep in the novel. Of course, novels like this have shortcomings of one kind or another. , I admit that my anti-feudalism was not thorough. I did not grasp the key issues, I did not expose the cruel exploitation of the peasants by the landlord class, and I gave too much sympathy to the characters I criticized. Changed the reality of life.  …” June in Beijing is hot. During the National Literary Generation Conference, what moved Ba Jin the most was not that he met many old friends in the literary world who had survived the catastrophe.What hurt him greatly was to attend the burial ceremony of writer Lao She's ashes.In the auditorium of the Babaoshan Revolutionary Cemetery, a simple yet grand venue was set up, with a familiar portrait of Lao She hung high on the black curtain on the front.When Ba Jin saw that photo, he would think of the last time he and Lao She saw each other before their death.It was the midsummer of 1966, when the hurricane first broke out. He was ordered to come to Beijing from Shanghai to prepare for an emergency meeting of Asian and African writers. One morning in early June, he suddenly passed by a certain hall of the Great Hall of the People. Come to a familiar figure! "Lao She?!" When Ba Jin went to Beijing that time, because Mao Zedong had already approved two important instructions related to art groups, he felt a sense of fear when he first arrived in Beijing.Coupled with the tense preparations for the meeting, Ba Jin rarely had the opportunity to go out and visit friends in Beijing.At that time, he especially wanted to have the opportunity to visit old friends, including Lao She.However, in order to avoid causing trouble to others, Ba Jin let this idea run its course.But he didn't expect that Lao She unexpectedly came to him now. "Mr. Ba Jin, hello!" At the same time, Lao She also recognized him, and they held hands tightly, and then they came to a corner of the hall and whispered a few intimate words.He saw that Lao She was not as nervous as he thought. Although the situation in Beijing was about to come, Lao She still remained calm.He told Ba Jin, "Don't worry, I'm fine. Please tell my friends in Shanghai that I'm fine." "That's good!" Ba Jin felt relieved after hearing his frank and composed words. He remembered saying to Lao She at that time: "We all believe in you!" The short and hasty time in the Great Hall of the People is still fresh in Ba Jin's memory more than ten years later.However, what he never imagined at the time was that Lao She, who was calm and open-minded, would die suddenly and tragically after a criticism meeting in Beijing one month after meeting him.Now, in the melody of sorrow and joy, Ba Jin's tears can no longer be controlled.When he passed the portrait of Lao She and walked towards Mrs. Lao She and other family members of the deceased, the scene of seeing him for the last time in the great hall always appeared in his mind.That was like an unforgettable scene, which had been deeply engraved in his heart. On a golden evening, Ba Jin came to Taiping Lake near Deshengmen in Beijing alone.The waves of the lake in front of me are still rippled, but the tragedy of that year will never happen again.He didn't know how Lao She came to the shore of this faint and rippling blue lake, and he didn't know how long he sat silently by Taiping Lake before deciding to end his life.Ba Jin also went through that terrible time.He gradually turned from puzzlement to understanding of Lao She, who was so confident in the great hall, and finally chose this path.Ba Jin knew that he and Lao She had the same heart.They can have no food, no car seats, and even endure the hardships and hardships of life.However, he and Lao She could not bear the inhuman treatment.Especially the insult and trample on personality.The embarrassment he encountered in Shanghai not long ago when Hong Kong's "Ta Kung Pao" deleted and edited manuscripts was enough to make him understand Lao She even more from his heart. The rain started falling on the Taiping Lake.Ba Jin still stood quietly by the lake alone, meditating. The fertile grass in the middle of the blood, The cold condenses the earth and sends spring flowers. Heroes have many plots to conspire with their husbands, Tears spilled on the crows of Chongling. For some reason, when Ba Jin was wandering by the lake, he suddenly thought of the song "Seven Wonders Untitled" written by Lu Xun in 1932.He was contemplating in the misty rain and mist, the lake waves were still gurgling, the drizzle was getting thicker and thicker, and Ba Jin's clothes were already soaked by the drizzle.He seemed to see his old friend again in the rain and fog——Lao She walked towards him with a smile, as if asking him: "Mr. Ba Jin, are you all right?"