Chapter 12 Herzen - long-cherished wish 40 years ago

Cotton-like falling snow fluttered on the Huangpu River. This is the only heavy snow that Ba Jin has seen during his decades of living in Shanghai. In the winter of 1975, looking up at the streets of Lilong from the small building of his house, he could see that thousands of buildings and buildings were covered in a glass-like world.The snow whitened the great Shanghai.To Ba Jin's surprise, the branches and branches of the two tall magnolia trees in front of the building were also covered with snow.In the slight north wind, the beautiful snow fluttered on the branches, and then fell with the wind on the path of the quiet courtyard.A thick layer of snow also accumulated on the ground.In an instant, Ba Jin seemed to disappear into a snowy village like a paradise.

"It's so good to snow!" Ba Jin staggered down the wooden stairs.He was obviously moved by the snow scene he saw through the window just now. The old writer who is used to living in the south of the Yangtze River used to only get a taste of heavy snow from the novels written by Xiao Hong and Xiao Jun, who are from the north. Witnessed the grand occasion of snowfall.He found that when it was snowing in the city, the surroundings of the small building were quiet and quiet.All the neighbors are hiding in their own homes and enjoying the warmth of the interior.Ba Jin really wanted to go outdoors, stand alone in the heavy snow, and let himself be fully bathed in the flying snow.However, his family dissuaded him.

Ba Jin feels that the current home has a little warmth. This is the warmth Ba Jin just felt after his wife died of illness.His daughter Xiao Lin was assigned to work in Hangzhou in the late period of the "Cultural Revolution". Although his daughter and son-in-law left him, their little Duan Duan stayed with the old man all the time.More importantly, after Ba Jin's efforts, his youngest son Tangtang, who jumped in the queue in the countryside of Anhui, was finally transferred back to Shanghai as he wished.Including the original members of the family, Ba Jin's two younger sisters, the four generations are still living under the same roof.Ba Jin had relatives by his side, especially the return of his youngest son, which gave him a little bit of comfort for his once-stricken heart.

"I can no longer waste time like before. In the past few years, my hand has been a bit clumsy because I don't often hold a pen. Yunzhen, now I want to use the only time in my life to do something else. "Ba Jin went back to his room, sat alone at the small desk, and began to talk quietly with Xiao Shan in the small photo frame as before.During the years when his wife passed away, Ba Jin always maintained the habit of looking at Xiao Shan's photos every day.He knew that although she was gone, in his opinion, Xiao Shan's soul would never leave him.Whenever Ba Jin was sad or happy, the old man would always face Xiao Shan's portrait and murmur to her, "I can't let a day go by!"

Ba Jin looked at the thick "Past Events and Thoughts" in front of him, feeling a little eager to try.So he couldn't help touching a pen, wanting to write something on the manuscript paper in front of him, but he hesitated to write because what he wanted to do at the moment was too important.When he was studying in Paris in his early years, he fell in love with this thick English book in front of him.When my home was ransacked many times a few years ago, this English work was unexpectedly saved.It was carefully hidden by Xiao Shan in the box downstairs.Now that Ba Jin found it out, and opened the title page of the book, he felt a sense of being separated from the world.

He finally wrote on the manuscript paper: "Past Events and Thoughts——Herzen"! "This is an amazing book! When I came back from abroad, I swore secretly that I would translate it into Chinese in the future, and let our Chinese readers also read Herzen's book. This memoir! It’s a pity that I don’t have much time.” Ba Jin still clearly remembers that in 1938, when he was on the banks of the picturesque Li River in Guilin, he once expressed such emotion to Xiao Shan. "So, can't it work now?" Xiao Shan looked solemn at that time, her beautiful big eyes were looking at him deeply.They all quietly listened to the gurgling sound of the Lijiang River not far away, and their hearts were full of sustenance and yearning for this important work.

"Now I have to complete the two books "Fire"." Ba Jin saw that Xiao Shan had developed a strong interest in "Past Events and Thoughts" like himself, and his desire to create became stronger. Xiao Shan took the thick original English book in Ba Jin's hand, flipped through a few pages, she was a little dazed, and said, "Will Chinese readers like this book by Herzen?" Ba Jin said: "Of course I would like it. When I was studying in France, I also thought about this question. Do Chinese people need to read such a book? After returning to China, I once took this book to Mr. Lu Xun's home. Please read it." He took a look to see if this book was worth anything? Mr. Lu Xun told me that its value is beyond reproach. It’s just that who can translate it systematically?”

Xiao Shan's eyes widened.She did not expect Ba Jin to talk to Lu Xun about the "Memoirs" written by a foreigner.Then he said: "Lu Xun also affirmed its value. Does this mean that Herzen's "Memoirs" has literary value?" "Of course not only the value of literature." Ba Jin said to her eloquently: "This "Memoirs" of more than one million words contains the essence of Herzen's life writing. It includes both his political theories and essays. Essays, letters, and diaries. So, after reading it, I feel that Herzen has truly recorded his life's experiences, experiences, and feelings about world affairs clearly and accurately in this book. Herzen has been against it all his life. The tsarist monarchy, he spoke out for the slaves, and his political views are surprisingly similar to our China today. Maybe this is the original intention of introducing this book to Chinese readers?"

"Really?" Xiao Shan's eyes were suddenly filled with excited hope.Because she heard and saw from Ba Jin's emotional impulse that he originally liked Herzen's idea of ​​rebelling against the monarchy.Then he said: "Do you think Herzen's environment has something to do with our anti-Japanese resistance in China today?" "Of course, sometimes history is surprisingly similar!" Ba Jin felt his heart resonate with Xiao Shan.After returning from abroad for so many years, he has talked about Herzen's great work with many people, but most of them are not interested in it.Especially writers who write traditional literature, they hardly arouse the slightest impulse towards such "Memoirs".Not to mention that no one understands and supports Ba Jin's translation impulse, even if one of them is asked to read this great work with more than one million words casually, it may be difficult to find a friend.He said to her: "Yunzhen, the reason why I like it is because China needs it so much now. The readers are too resentful of the corrupt Kuomintang regime and the powerful enemy of Japan. Of course, the readers are too weak. Especially The anti-Japanese masses, how much they hope to read such inspiring works now. Of course, the reason why any writer writes is not mainly for life, but for his own ideals. My writing goal is precisely Here, although my present life is still very difficult, I definitely do not write for the sake of living."

"I understand. I understand your heart!" Xiao Shan gave him a knowing glance.While admiring Ba Jin's talent, she also respected his character.Suddenly, she frowned, sighed, and said, "Mr. Li, it's just that you can translate so many foreign languages ​​one day? I think, even if you have time, you can't finish it in a day or two." Let's do it!" Ba Jin smiled and said to her confidently: "It's okay. Yunzhen, if a person can do one or two meaningful things in this life, it is not in vain. Translating "Past Events and Thoughts" is my dream in my life. One of the few things I'm going to do when I'm done with the Torrent Trilogy, I'll translate it. I'd rather spend the rest of my life doing it, right? Of course, my current My ability is still a bit weak, but I am confident in translating it. I am going to translate while learning, and there are still a lot of annotations to be added. I can translate slowly, because translation is also a learning process!"

Now, Ba Jin has started to translate Herzen's "My Past and Thoughts".What he didn't expect was that after writing the "Torrent Trilogy", he didn't really settle down to translate this great work.Before and after the end of the war, he wrote many books successively. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, his work became even busier.As the main leader of the Shanghai Writers Association, Ba Jin not only has to complete his writing tasks, but also has a lot of social activities.If it hadn’t been for the Cultural Revolution, if it hadn’t been for the fact that he had been doing nothing after returning to Shanghai from the Fengxian Cadre School, and if it hadn’t been for the organizational assignment of Ba Jin to the recently restored Shanghai People’s Publishing House; I was afraid that there would not be enough time for him to start the translation project that he had sworn to Xiao Shan during the Anti-Japanese War. In the summer of 1973, the Party Branch of the Fourth Company of the May 7th Cadre School organized by the Shanghai Writers Association made conclusions about the "dictatorship personnel" they were in.The conclusion of the Silian party branch to Ba Jin is: conflicts between the enemy and ourselves are handled according to the contradictions among the people, do not wear the hat of counter-revolutionaries, and pay living expenses. This is the only conclusion drawn by a first-level party organization since Ba Jin lost his freedom of writing in the summer of 1966 and was under "dictatorship".According to Ba Jin's calculations, it has been seven years.For him in the past seven years, what he lost was not only freedom, not only his wife Xiao Shan, but more importantly, time.If time is life, then for Ba Jin, who takes his writings as his life, what he lost is the precious value of life!There is nothing more important than getting back to work and regaining the freedom to write.When the party organization asked Ba Jin for any requirements after he made a political conclusion, Ba Jin only asked: "Can I do some translation work?" That is to say, from August of that year, Ba Jin no longer had to come to the Writers Association every day as before, but just listened to and read the newspapers of the day endlessly, studied Mao Zedong's quotations and cleaned up.He can settle down and do a little translation work.Two years later, in the autumn of 1975, the Shanghai Writers Association decided to transfer all the professional writers within the Association to Shanghai People's Publishing House.In this way, Ba Jin entered the foreign language translation room in his new work unit.Of course, at this time Ba Jin's eyes were not as good as before, and he could no longer go to the publishing house to "work" every day as before.He has plenty of time to write at home on Wukang Road.Of course, his writing at that time was limited to the translation of foreign literary works. It was at this time that Ba Jin really had time to translate that work. When he was young, he liked "Past Events and Thoughts" by the famous Russian literary theorist Herzen.Now he finally got his wish, and Ba Jin swims in the ocean of Herzen's wisdom every day.If it is said that when Ba Jin came into contact with this magical work for the first time when he was studying in France, he only felt that there were so many philosophical and beautiful languages ​​in the book, then he was supported by Mr. Lu Xun after returning to China, and in the 1930s he partially wrote After translating fragments of "My Past and Thoughts", Ba Jin cherished this book even more.Because he further understood the wisdom that Herzen poured into the book from the translation. Ba Jin really sat down and translated this legendary work earnestly. He suddenly felt that he was indeed walking into a huge spiritual treasure house.He knew that not many people knew about this book in China, and it belonged to the kind of "snow in spring", and Ba Jin also knew that even if he translated this book, it would never be published in China at that time.And even if someone publishes it, there will never be many readers who favor it, let alone sell well.However, there is a mysterious impulse that always inspires Ba Jin to turn "My Past and Thoughts" into his mother tongue.Rather than saying that this is fulfilling the grand oath he made 40 years ago, it is better to say that he is fulfilling his promise to his late wife Xiao Shan. It is precisely because Ba Jin regards the translation of this book as a kind of commemoration of Xiao Shan in his heart that he writes at his desk day and night.By doing so, he can not only allow himself to swim in the ocean of Herzen's wisdom and enjoy the rich emotional world, but also make Ba Jin miss Xiao Shan less.Think less about his dead wife, and he will feel less pain in his heart.In this way, from the autumn of 1975 to the spring of 1979, he had already translated one-third of this thick foreign work.When Ba Jin saw the manuscript paper gradually piling up on the table, a trace of relief gradually appeared on his face that hadn't seen a smile for many years.