Chapter 6 Section 4: Keeping it secret for him

I was actually a kid when I first got married. He is very simple and honest.In his mind I was extremely clever. That year, he was studying at night university. Before going to work one morning, he exclaimed: "Oh, it's broken! In the afternoon, the Chinese teacher asked me to hand in an essay, and I forgot to write it!" I think he made too much fuss, "What topic? I'll write an article for you at home, can you just take it to a job?" He told me that the title was "Autumn", so I locked myself in the room and wrote fast all morning.I have always been grateful to my father for passing on my literary accomplishments to me. I have always been familiar with this kind of articles.

At noon, I hurriedly brought him the finished composition, and he copied it absent-mindedly while eating. On this day of the second week, their Chinese teacher, a professor of the Chinese Department of Peking University, commented on the composition in class. "In our class, a classmate's composition has reached the level that can be published. He wrote that he misses a teacher in the fall The teacher talked about many remarkable details in the article, but he was at a loss, wondering if this was the article written by Dandan? "I have taught so many students at Peking University, and no one has written such a good article. I gave him a score of 96."

When the composition was sent out, he saw a bright red "96" written in the upper right corner of the manuscript paper. He was ecstatic at first, but soon became worried. The worry was that since the teacher was so impressed with him, would he not be able to write any future compositions? I wrote it myself. Later, I sent this article to the "Beijing Evening News", and it was actually published.I used a pseudonym called "Xiaozhou".Firstly, "Zhou" contains a word "Dan", and secondly, "Zhou" has the same pronunciation as his surname "Zhou".At that time, whatever you do, you must leave traces of two people together.

The reason why we broke up later was probably because there was no more fate for us to continue to spend a longer time together.Now that I think about it, it's not very wise to start a marriage every time I fall in love, but at that age, at that age, there were no other choices I could make.Because I want to have my own home, my own bed, my own table, I want to be with my loved one day and night, without being disturbed, without hiding, and without waiting in a hurry for the once-in-a-day meeting. After the breakup he disappeared.Various chances and coincidences allowed me to meet my elementary school classmates, childhood neighbors, friends I met by chance at parties, and even my sister-in-law who sold popsicles at the entrance of the alley, but I never met him again.

I don't know how he will remember me, with a smile or very silent. More than a year after the divorce, I met Yingda.In my three marriages, Yingda always seemed untouchable.However, since I want to write about the past I have experienced, I cannot avoid the 10 years I have spent with him.He is 49 days older than me. We fell in love at the age of 27 and broke up at the age of 37. We spent the most important time in our lives together, from a romantic and carefree youth to a worry-ridden middle age. When we broke up, I tried to write a book to commemorate that journey, but failed for various reasons.Today, when I agreed to the publishing house's request for manuscripts, I found those manuscripts that had been dusty for nearly 10 years.

After reviewing it, I was amazed: what a terrible thing time is!Too many past events, too many moods, I have completely forgotten them.If it hadn't been recorded at the beginning, that marriage would only have a starting point and an ending point in memory.So I'm glad I wrote and left these words. But in the face of this "unacceptable" history that is so real, I hesitated again.No matter the first love, or the first unknown marriage, I have been very indifferent when I think about it.However, the part of living with Yingda was particularly intense because he was immersed in it at the time.Now that we have gone so far in different directions that there are no overlapping footprints, is it still necessary to turn the old page?Will it disturb other people's lives?What's more, even if we walked together, can his memory be exactly the same as mine?

I don't know if I should just keep those stories, narrate them indifferently, and filter out the mood at that time, or should I keep everything that has been preserved.I don't know if I should keep them for myself to see, let myself remember that I have walked such a road, so warm and emotional, or should I tell others that I am no longer in pain and don't care anymore. In the end, I decided to respect history and restore the lost period.So most of the current texts about Yingda are still written by me 10 years ago. Of course, looking back after we each spent another 10 years, 37 years old was still too young, and the mood at that time was extreme and passionate, red was too red, black was too dark.So only today, when everything is calm, look back on that period of the past, calmly, objectively, and calmly, what you see is its original face - there is no right or wrong, no other possibilities, the sea can dry up To die, or the newcomers laugh at the old and cry, it is actually just a word of "fate".

Chapter 5: Every love is thrilling A confession must be made: every time I fall in love is genuine and thrilling.