Chapter 7 no one likes me

Many of the students in the class are from Beijing. When they speak, there is always an indescribable pride in their tone.For an 18-year-old boy who had never left Changzhou, it was difficult for me to fit into their circle.There is only one TV in the class, and it is placed in the dormitory of the students in Beijing.If we students from other places want to watch TV, we have to knock on the door first and report our names.In fact, the students in this class knew who they were by listening to the voice without giving their names, but they insisted on not opening the door without giving their names.The first time the class organized an outing was to go to the Summer Palace.When taking a boat, they are grouped according to the principle of matching boys and girls.The students in Beijing are responsible for the assignment, and all the beautiful girls in the class are in the same boat as them.These little things made me deeply feel the taste of being in a disadvantaged group.

Beijing students do have the capital to be proud.Their English is better than that of non-local students, and being born in the capital naturally has the convenience of being well-informed.When I first arrived in Beijing, not only did I have a strong Changzhou accent in my Mandarin, but also my knowledge, which I thought was broad, immediately appeared narrow and shabby compared with those Beijing students.All this makes me feel inferior, so I dare not and do not want to communicate with others.During class, the teacher occasionally asked me to go to the blackboard to solve problems, and my face was hot after I did the problems.I never spoke in public with more than 10 people until college.

But being the queen of others is not my style.In the first semester of freshman year, there is a unified exam for all freshmen in the school, and more than 500 students sit in a large classroom to answer the questions together.When taking the advanced mathematics test, the time is two and a half hours. In about 45 minutes, I handed in the paper.The invigilator thought I couldn't do it, so he gave up, and advised me to think more, it would be good if I could do a few more questions.I said I have answered all the questions.The invigilator was very surprised, and went to my seat to read my paper, only to find that I was telling the truth.When the results were announced, I scored 93 points, ranking among the top 10 in the school.

When I returned to my alma mater to attend the class reunion many years later, my classmates from other majors would say to me when they saw me: You are the one who handed in the papers in advance.The high math test that time was actually quite difficult, and there was a guy who finished it in such a short time, so it left a deep impression on many people.This is naturally related to my depressed mentality at the time. I just wanted to prove myself.The moment I walked out of the classroom, I was proud of the feeling that all my classmates were looking at me.From then on, I was really noticed by others.

After the freshman entrance examination, my disdain for the classmates around me continued unabated: they were not on the same level as me, and I shouldn't go to school with these people.I even look down on teachers a little bit.Applied physics is a newly established major in the school, and the teachers of the professional courses follow the scriptures when they teach.I looked at the textbook below, and found that although the teacher followed the book, he would say something wrong from time to time.At this time, I will sit in my seat and help the teacher correct mistakes.This made the teacher very disgusted, and told me to raise my hand when I spoke.But I have not corrected after repeated teachings, and I still have to correct my mistakes.

I am also more arrogant among my classmates.Every mid-term or final exam is my happy moment.Because I have never been afraid of exams.In the self-study class before the exam, I announced to my classmates: You can ask me any questions you don’t know.Some people do come to me, and it takes ten minutes to find the teacher, and I can indeed answer them, so why not do it? However, the relationship between me and my classmates has not become harmonious.I have a gap with my classmates in Beijing, and I can't talk about going with my classmates from other places.When it comes to class activities, whether it's cadre elections or social gatherings, I will always be the one who sings the opposite.I have never been a cadre since elementary school, and I have no idea of ​​the concept of a team.And, out of a sense of irrational rebellion, I don't want to do anything other people want to do.For me with such a personality, boys don't like to deal with me, let alone girls.The number of female students majoring in science is small, and their horizons are very high.In their eyes, apart from showing off occasionally in my homework, I have nothing special about me.In addition, I have no dedication, such as changing the light bulbs in the girls' dormitories, and helping them carry their luggage to the station during the winter and summer vacations. I have never done a single thing.

There are 30 people in our class, 17 boys and 13 girls.None of the male classmates liked me, and none of the female classmates liked me, although there were two of the female classmates that I secretly admired for a while. Years later, I joked with my friends that my character in college was more like an artist: selfish, indifferent, emotionally unstable, and always critical of others. "Success 4+1" Theory I stayed in school for a long time. After graduating from university, I studied abroad in Japan and the United States successively, and studied two professional doctorates.I have a heavy campus complex.Therefore, after becoming a professional manager, one of the things I do most in my spare time is to give speeches to college students.The number of times I give speeches in various universities is almost more than 20 times a year, and I have to give two lectures in almost a month.

The topics of my speech usually include what to learn in college, what to pay attention to on the road to success, career choice, and social public relations topics, etc.The communication with college students gave me more vitality, and also gave me the opportunity to share my life experience and professional experience with more young friends.This is the greatest joy when I go to the university to give a speech. Young friends often come to me and ask me. When I was in my sophomore or junior year, I found that I still didn’t know where my future lies, and I was confused about the direction of my life.Therefore, I specially proposed a "success 4+1" theory to teach how to achieve success and how to surpass yourself.In fact, this set of "successful 4+1" theory is also a must-have element for college students to enter the society.

In "Success 4+1", 4 represents wisdom, diligence, passion and opportunity, and 1 represents character. "Success 4+1" character Why does character determine success? Because opportunity and character are linked.When every opportunity presents itself, what makes it yours? It depends on your character.We need to cultivate a good character so that people around us will agree with you.You have to treat everyone with sincerity, and treat everything around you with an upright and caring attitude.So, what is a good character? There is no fixed definition of a good character, simply put, it is to make others like you.Take out a piece of paper, write down the personalities you like in each of the 10 friends around you, and then turn them into your own, this is a good character.

Who doesn't like kind people? Who doesn't like tolerant people? Who doesn't like upright people? Who doesn't like generous people? Who doesn't like optimistic, sunny, upward people? If it is reflected in your body, will others dislike you? Many years later, as a professional manager, I deeply understand that character is the core factor for a person's success.I even think, As long as a person has a good personality and matches with any one of the other 4 "4+1", he can succeed. If I had to pick out some good things from the bad personalities in my college, I would think that being withdrawn might be one of them.I worked as a lone ranger for 4 years in college, whether I went to the cafeteria to eat, or went to the library to read, I did everything by myself.Although my personality has become quite outgoing, but at the same time I also enjoy the time alone.Up to now, I often travel alone, listening to the inner voice in the feeling of being alone, which is not without benefits.

Thinking back to my youth, my heyday was in elementary school, I was frustrated in junior high school, I was flat in high school, and I was frustrated again in college.The psychological depression that has occurred since childhood has not been relieved, and the inferiority complex has not been fundamentally resolved, and I still have serious lack of self-confidence until college.Even the occasional feeling of being in the top of my head cannot make up for the deep wounds in my heart.The kind of depression that I have nowhere to tell is always lingering in my heart and can't go away. Communication skills are developed My college classmates told me that they occasionally see me so eloquent and friendly on TV, and they can’t help wondering: Is this the kid we were in college? This is because I later realized that communication skills are more important than all the professional courses I have learned.I firmly believe that people are malleable and people can be changed.If you learn to communicate, you can definitely be a good employee and a good leader. Communication is an attitude.What is the interview when college students graduate? That is interpersonal communication.For example, you may encounter many unexpected questions during your interview, but don't say that you don't know, because it means that you have given up the opportunity to communicate with the interviewer.In fact, the answers in the interview are not so important, what is important is the process of communication.What is needed for communication? Communication requires a lowered attitude and more skill.This kind of skill is definitely not innate, but needs to be continuously honed the day after tomorrow. Over the years, I have been carefully and deliberately polishing my personality to achieve better communication with others.My secretary has been with me for more than ten years and has never seen me lose my temper, but this is nothing to make a fuss about. My wife has been with me for more than twenty years and has never seen me lose my temper.Through constant and self-conscious self-correction, the impulsive human part of me constantly gave way to the precise professional part.It was after repeated practice that they saw me on TV.