Chapter 16 Letter Collection-1

My darling, my good Amenda, my dear friend, I read the letter with pain and joy in my heart.What can compare with your faithfulness and sincerity to me?oh!It is very kind of you to always have such a friendship with me.Yes, I tested your fidelity, and I can tell you from another friend.You are not a Viennese friend, no, you are one of the characters my hometown can produce!How I wish you could always be by my side!Because your Beethoven is very poor.To know that my noblest part, my hearing, is greatly diminished.When you were by my side, I already felt many signs, which I concealed; but since then it has gotten worse.Whether it will be cured is still unknown; it probably has something to do with my stomach discomfort.But that's almost cured; but is there any hope of my hearing being cured?Of course I hope so; but it is very unlikely, because there is no cure for such diseases.I must live a dreary life, avoiding all my favorite characters, especially in this poor, selfish world!

Now, my consolation is a friend with whom I can enjoy some heart-to-heart fun, and pure friendship: one of my boyhood friends.Stefan von Breuning.I talked to him often about you, and I told him you were one of my heartily chosen friends since I left home. ——He doesn't like XXX either; he has always been too weak to take on friendship.Suspected to refer to Zmeshkar, he worked as a court secretary in Vienna and was extremely loyal to Beethoven.I use him and ×× fully as a tool when I feel happy: but they can never understand my noble activities, nor can they really participate in my life; I only repay them according to what they can do for me.oh!How happy I would be if I could make the best use of my hearing!Then I will run to you.But I had to keep away from everything; my best years were wasted, and I did not achieve what my talent and strength were capable of. —I have to find shelter in sad forbearance!Although I have vowed to transcend these scourges; but how is it possible?Yes, Amenda, if within six months my illness is not cured, I ask you to drop everything and come to me; then I shall travel (my piano playing and composition are not so much affected by my disability; Only in the company of men); you will be my companion: I am sure that happiness will not be lacking; what is there that I cannot compare with now?Since you left I have written everything, even operas and religious music.Yes, you will not say no, you will help your friend with his sickness and worries.My piano playing has also improved a lot, and I hope this trip will be enjoyable for you too.Then, you stay by my side forever. —I have received all your letters; though I have seldom answered them, you are always before me; and my heart beats for you with the same tenderness. —— Regarding my hearing, please keep it a secret, and don't tell anyone. —Lots of letters.Even a few lines comfort and benefit me.Hope to hear from you soon, my dearest friend. —I did not send you one of your quartet works No. 18, because it has been greatly revised since I knew the quartet was officially written: you will see it yourself in the future. —Now, farewell, my dear fellow!If I can do something for you to please you, it goes without saying that you should tell faithful Beethoven that he loves you sincerely.