Chapter 13 Nankai Love Story-The Year of Farewell

Wu Sheng Last night, Yue called me and she said she had a boyfriend.I said, that's fine.So we started talking, aimlessly, except for love.After all the topics were stated, I asked her softly: "Yue, tell me that you love him very much, right?" She paused for a moment of silence: "Maybe, but it's actually nothing more than that, It doesn't matter anyway." We went on to repeat the original topic until there was silence.She asked me: "You said, will we still be in touch in the future?" . From then on, I thought, I will never see Yue again. I met her about seven or eight years ago. On a quiet afternoon, I can't remember what kind of weather and mood I was in.However, in the eyes of young people, the sky will always be blue, just as her expression is moving.She stood in front of me, smiling, but it was kind of far away.I looked at her stupidly, without saying a word. It was the first time that I knew how to appreciate beauty when I was young.After a period of silence, I finally got to know her, a girl named Yue.This initial scene, gradually condensed into a set of golden slow motion with the passage of time, is often silently shown in my heart.If this is the beginning of a movie, then I hope it can also be the end of this movie.

Bodhisattva asked: "Do you need a reason to love someone?" Supreme Treasure said: "Is there no need?" The argument between the two people is between need and need, and there is no answer.In fact, how can the reasons for loving someone be expressed in words?Yue's shyness, Yue's frankness; Yue's seriousness, Yue's nonsense; Yue's smile, Yue's crying-everything about her moved me.The words I have painstakingly worked out will always be criticized by her, but I will not refute them.Yes, who made me so clumsy that I can't use the pen in my hand to describe what she looks like in my heart until today.So, I could only sing for her, "You at the Same Table", and sing it to Yue in the front seat.The girl in the song got married, and she stayed in the photo; my moon approached, and then went away, and she stayed in the past.

Yue once told me that she likes to sit quietly in the autumn evening and wait for the night to come, watching the world bid farewell to the hustle and bustle, and her mood will return to peace.So, I was fascinated by the autumn sunset.I often climbed to the roof alone, drank beer and looked at the sky, watching the sunset and the sky full of red clouds.After a long time, I feel strangely: the sunset time is even shorter than the sunrise.Perhaps all good things are like this, it is much easier to lose than to gain.I told Yue this discovery, she smiled and shook her head. " Come on then, I'll take you to see the sunset. "I took her little hand and climbed up to the roof. Yue said that beautiful things are always short-lived. I asked her: "Then do you believe in eternity?" She looked at me without answering, her long eyelashes flickering with endless speculation. "But, you know what?"I hope we can be together forever! "

This is the autumn of 1994, the most wonderful autumn in my memory. The dry air is full of warmth and sweetness. In that silent dusk, I clearly saw the shyness and excitement shining on Yue's face.My little love, do you also feel the warmth of my hands and the trembling of my voice? Many years later, when I sat alone in front of the computer and silently watched "Heartbeat" directed by Zhang Aijia, I finally understood: children's love is like this, it comes simple and expresses directly.I have told Yue more than once that I like the way she looks at me, and I am obsessed with her even breathing on the other end of the phone.I will give her a beautiful note every day, which is filled with my thoughts and attachment to her.I don't think we will be separated, because we have an appointment to enter the university in the same city.So, I decided to weave a long fairy tale for her. She is my princess and lives in the castle I built for her.

When most of us are young, we always have more questions, so we keep looking for answers, then deny, look for, deny again, and so on, the result is exhausted.But when we grow up, we will be surprised to find that many entangled questions have no answers.Regarding eternity, it is such a problem: At first we firmly believed in its existence; later we doubted its existence; until finally, we had no choice but to deny its existence.Just like Yue and I naively thought that we could be together forever, but the result is that we are thousands of miles apart.What distance produces is not only beauty, but also distance.As the distance gets farther and farther away, the castle in the fairy tale collapses.

Valentine's Day, the winter vacation of freshman year, is the day we broke up.That night, Yue held the rose I gave her, kissed my face, and burst into tears.However, she finally left and disappeared into the winter night.I stretched out my arms, but I didn't know how to keep them; I still chose to give up, and escaped alone from the city that I had nostalgia for infinitely before spring came.The northbound train secretly departed at midnight. Through the glass window, I glanced at the familiar lights of the city from a distance, and then fell asleep to Xu Wei's singing. The days that followed were peaceful and orderly.Yuehui will call me from time to time and tell me her story at school.Every time, I always listened quietly without saying a word.Yue said, you have changed.I said: "Yes, people have to learn to grow up." As my mother once told me, people will always face many choices in life, and every choice is an opportunity to grow; By the time, then, you've grown up.

Before dawn, I drank the last beer and snuffed out the cigarette in my hand, like cutting off the memory related to the past.I unplugged the phone, turned off the call machine, and extinguished every light in the room; I found a bed where the moonlight could not be seen, lay on my back, and plunged myself into endless darkness; I closed my eyes, fell into a deep sleep, and Isolate from reality and lose everything. The rest, only memory.Maybe, in a certain morning, I will seal the fragments about her into a can of memory, hide it in the corner of my heart, and never open it.Maybe, in another late night, I will light up the cigarette in my hand again, burn away all the memories about her, watch the black butterflies flying in the night, and the songs that ring in my ears are just yesterday's songs.

(Wu Sheng, a 1998 student in the Insurance Department of Nankai University, currently studying for a master's degree)