Chapter 9 How many people are looking for the unsolvable problem

Many people don't understand why an aspiring young man has to hang out with such a bunch of bums.I can't say clearly, let me recall the first time I was drunk in my life. It was my seventeenth birthday. Except for my parents, no one really noticed the existence of my little life, but this birthday is very different.Guo Zi, San'er and the others are urging me to celebrate my birthday. The high school I am in is a national key school, which trains students for all-round talents, so the school has hundreds of acres of land, where various vegetables are grown, which makes my birthday party not too expensive. Lots of money and variety.I bought four bottles of sorghum wine for six yuan, and I didn't have to pay for the rest.

San'er moved in a kerosene stove to cook vegetables, and his skills were more than enough for a group of students who had no oil in their stomachs; the fat gourd was in charge of stealing diesel from the tractor warehouse on the farm, but was blocked by watchdogs for a long time; He was hated by others, so his chicken was not spared. The chicken that mingled and died without silence was wrung out of its neck, and the second brother Wang thoughtfully threw the faded chicken feathers into the garbage port of the girls' dormitory , so as not to be chased on his own head; Guo Zi brought the flying dragon meat respected by his old subordinates from his father, and packed it in empty cans, so the whole banquet seemed to have a proper mix of meat and vegetables. The flying dragon in the sky and the donkey on the ground are delicious.

"I still remember that we learned to smoke in secret, when we were nineteen years old." Ma Zhaojun was so delicate at the age of nineteen. When I was seventeen, I touched a girl's hand for the first time.San'er brought two girls, not students, with bright down jackets, pointed high heels, wavy hair, bright red lips, much more attractive than the hard-working girls in the class.They held out their nail-polished hands and shook hands with me, a birthday guy.I associate the word I learned as I entered puberty with the first touch in reality—soft and creamy. At seventeen, I knew for the first time that I was not alone.Several well-known friends from the whole school came, and there were also bastards from outside the school. They all said very righteous words to me, making people feel that this dinner was like a big family.

When I was seventeen, I felt for the first time that I was not easy to mess with.The sound of the banquet made the boys from the class next door come to protest. San’er smashed the military satchel hanging on the bed frame onto the table, and inside was a throwing grenade (this was the usual equipment of friends in the past): “Today is my brother’s Birthday, don't fucking make me unhappy!" The enemy retreated, and I suddenly felt that I was on top of the sky. Those four bottles of sorghum wine could no longer satisfy such a large group of people with a strong drinking spirit. I don't know who bought the wine later, and I don't know how much they bought.I only remember one thought, drinking so much, throwing up so much, can I wake up the next day and continue to live?

Why do we huddle together like locusts? Zheng Jun sang: "We live only to warm each other, and we try our best to escape loneliness." Being a man is not good.The situation where only oneself cheers for oneself and only oneself mourns for oneself is the despair of adulthood.And youth, youth, what you want is a group of people walking on the street, and no one is stingy with the high-spirited feeling, but walking alone is always uncomfortable. Referring to the racial system of ancient India, we divide the students in the school into four grades: The kind of old friends who have friends inside and outside the school belong to the first-class Brahmins. They have already washed their hands, but their reputation is well-known, so they have no fight at all. They just play billiards at the school gate without spending a penny. People who have strong secretions and have access to contraceptives have already begun to have a trembling sexual experience, but they spend more time dealing with various disputes.

The kind of old friends who don't get along very well belong to Kshatriya. Their qualifications are very old, so they won't suffer too much in the battle, and they will have old buddies to help, but they advocate violence too much, and they don't know how to compare their words. The reason why fists are more effective, so I often cause some unnecessary troubles.Their IQs are not very high, and many of them fail to get into college in the end. The kind of low-grade friends who have a lot of brute force belong to the Vaishya. Their main homework is to remember the appearance and name of the elder brothers of the first two grades, and greet them respectfully; their main task is to be ready for dispatch at any time. Send troops to fight, and be proud that the eldest brother called him; their bright future is that they can transfer to the next level after the eldest brother graduates, as long as they don't get into trouble and won't be expelled from school.

The kind of students who dare not fight belong to Sudra.Because it is a key middle school, it is generally no problem for them to finally enter a university with a glorious ancestor and glory, but they have nothing to redeem except for their excellent academic performance. They don’t wash them; their toothpaste is often squeezed out half of the bag as soon as it enters the water room; their sleep is often destroyed by high-level people; most of their girlfriends are not very beautiful and wear glasses. If you are at the front of the line in the cafeteria, all the friends you know will ask you to bring food, and the people in the back dare not speak up; You can recruit a group of people to give him an education; if the girl you like happens to be liked by your brother, the two will push each other, and finally the girl becomes you do not belong to me, I do not own you, you finally know, Girl, no one in this world has the right to possess...

They say we are a pack of wolves lost in the ages of ignorance. "Loyalty" was the highest praise for a man in that era, just like "taste", "elegance", "style", "elite" and so on now. Once, San'er's eldest brother called everyone together to discuss revenge against another gang. We, as academic representatives, also attended San'er's restaurant.It turned out that Si'er was bullied by that gang, and he couldn't get angry, so he wanted to find them to fight for his life. "Let me go." The boss said in a slightly crying voice, "Si'er, you are younger than me, and you can serve our parents for a few more years." Then he drank a glass of wine calmly.

Si'er cried like a lost lamb. My eye circles were also red on the spot, and my heart was filled with a kind of pride and tenderness that would go through fire and water for the brotherhood.A man, if he has not experienced this kind of scene in his life, if he has never said or heard such a thing, is he still called a man? In fact, the fight was not serious, the casualties were not heavy, the police did not care, and students like us were not allowed to participate.But it doesn't matter how you play, the important thing is that this drink makes you so emotional, then there is true love in the world, the true nature of a hero.

When I graduated from college, I went back to my alma mater to attend a high school reunion. I passed by Saner's wife's ice cream shop and went in to have a look.She has given birth to a child, her once beautiful face is no longer plump, and her once delicate voice has become hoarse.Talking about the stories of old friends, she said that San'er was selling pears in the countryside, and she had stopped fighting for a long time.The business of the four brothers is neither good nor bad, and they just had a fight over money recently. I sat there and ate an ice cream cone given by the third sister-in-law, feeling a little panicked in my heart.It turns out that the so-called righteousness that we are emotionally moved for is so unbearable to the scrutiny of human nature, so unbearable to the hammering of life.

This sense of disillusionment made me extremely depressed.