Chapter 8 Chapter 8 Nirma Lied: A Pure Heart

Dear Lord, Great Healer, I kneel before you, For every gift of perfection must come from you. I pray, give skill to my hand, see to know, Give my heart kindness and tenderness. Give me my undivided attention, Strong enough to unburden a suffering brother a little, Realize my gift. Remove the deceit and worldliness from my heart, so that I may, with the innocent faith of a child, Leaning on you. --The Physician's Prayer in the Children's Home, Also a member of each Missionary Sisters of Charity A prayer that must be said before the "Apostolic Work" begins. Nirma Lied: A Pure Heart

The hospice in Motiji did not last long before it was forced to close its doors. Although Mumu received the understanding and support of some residents, she was strongly protested by another part of the residents because of their different beliefs. Mumu took their protests calmly.She believed that this must be God's will. In decades of missionary career, no matter what she encounters, she is able to calm down and maintain her psychological balance. Next, she will work on establishing a new official home for the dying.Under the scorching sun, she bit the bullet and ran between government management agencies, hospitals and nursing homes. This kind of travel lasted for several months, and finally things turned around.On this day, Mumu took Qiudi to the street again to find a house.At noon they arrived at Caliga.Karija is the busiest and busiest area in Calcutta. The Hindu Kari Temple is built here. Under the clear sky, the Kari Temple looks very brilliant and beautiful.On both sides of the street in front of the temple, there were many vendors selling flowers. A bunch of fiery red birds of paradise caught Mumu's attention, but Qiuti said, "Sister, be careful not to smell the fragrance of flowers. It belongs to Goddess Kali."

Mumu smiled, and she said, "In the environment where I grew up, there were various religions, such as Orthodox, Muslim and Catholic, and everyone worshiped in different ways, but since I was a child, I believed that we all pray to the same God." Next to the Kali Temple, there is a beautiful white building. Mumu asked, "Where is that?" Choti replied, "That's where Hindu pilgrims rest." Mom said, "Let's go in and have a look." The door was open and they walked in.But the house was empty, and there was no one there, only a few gray-blue birds walking leisurely in the center of the house.Mumu looked here and there excitedly, and then she happily said to Qiu Di, "Great, this is the place I'm looking for, there is nothing more suitable than here."

Choti said: "The abbot of the temple will not agree, this is the most sacred place in Hinduism." Mumu said, "Isn't the most sacred place the most suitable place for God's work?" On her return from Kaliga, Mother wrote an earnest application and sent it to the City Council of Calcutta.Two days later, Mumu paid a visit in person. The person who received her turned out to be the same official she had seen in Motiji last time.Before Mum could speak, the official said straight to the point: "Sister, the city council doesn't know what trouble you will bring to Calcutta, but they still agree that you will do good in Calcutta. If there is any problem, I will solve it, just like last time Same in Motiji."

Mumu heard that the officials were still brooding over Motiji's matter, so she said, "I think we managed to prevent a disaster that time, what do you think, sir." The official said, "Please, nun, don't whitewash your actions. What you are doing is incitement, you know? It's encouraging the poor to fight against the government. Please don't use religion as a banner to realize your political ambitions." Mumu ignored the attitude of the official. She pulled up a chair and sat down opposite the official. Then she asked, "Is it true that educating the illiterate, relieving the hungry, and sheltering the dying are also political ambitions? All I have done is Let the dying people feel a little love, so that they will not go so painfully, so desolately."

The official asked, "Are you doing this to make the slums more livable?" Mumu replied: "No, just to let the deceased die with more dignity." The official asked again: "Are you going to help tens of thousands of sick and disabled people in Calcutta? Can you help them?" Mumu did not answer the official, but asked in amazement: "Millions? How do you count them?" 1 million?" The official replied impatiently, "That's not my point, Sister, I mean, no matter how hard you try, you can't save. There are too many poor people, do you understand?"

But Mumu refused to let the official go. She stared at him and asked, "One million? Where did you start counting?" The official obviously had nothing to do with the nun, so he had to answer honestly: "1." Mumu immediately raised her fingers and said to the officials, "I also started counting from 1, 1, then 2, then 3, and then more. Up to now, we have saved more than 100 people." "But now you are moving into the Pilgrim's Hotel," said the official. The mention of the Pilgrim Hotel made Mumu excited.She stood up, eyes full of longing for that hotel, and she said, "You know what? Sir, that house has bedrooms, electricity, beds, cooking, and water..."

Before she could finish speaking, the official interrupted her very roughly, saying: "I am not interested in its facilities, nuns, next to the hotel is the oldest and most sacred temple in Calcutta, do you think, if How will the Hindus react when you appear there?" Mumu shook her head and replied, "No, sir, I haven't thought about it. My work has nothing to do with politics." The officer said, "Sister, please understand that you are not the only kind hearted person in Calcutta. Do you think no one cares about them except you? You are wrong. This is my city, my hometown, and I see so many People are dying on the street, and my heart is broken. They are my compatriots!" At this point, the official's eyes glistened with tears—he cried.

Mumu was also very sad, but the more sad she was, the more she could not give up. She said to the officials: "Why don't you let God decide whether we can work? You just need to agree." The official did not answer, and he was silent for a long time.Mumu also stopped talking.The secretary standing aside was a shrewd young man. He lost no time in handing in the submission and asked the official to sign it, and the official signed it.The official told Mum: "This consent is provisional. If your presence causes disputes, the parliament will reconsider." Even though it took so much talking to get the consent, Mumu was very grateful.I am not only grateful to the officials, but also to the Hindu goddess Kali-in the Hindu tradition, if a believer feels that his time is approaching, he will consciously come to the temple and wait quietly for the death to come.Therefore, establishing a hospice in this place can take care of those devout Hindus by the way.

Officials sent Mumu to the gate, and Mumu finally said to the officials: "The most important thing is that the dying must be touched, hugged, even at the end of life, they must feel that someone still loves them .” In the next 24 hours, Sister Durham and her followers not only cleaned the Pilgrim Hotel, but also admitted more than 20 patients from the street.One of them, an old man, died on the evening of the day he came in.She was found by Mu Mu herself from the trash can.When the old man died, she burst into tears. She gratefully took Sister Mumu's hand and whispered in Bengali: "My son threw me outside. Why did you help me? I have lived like a dog all my life. But now I'm dying like a human being."

The first official "hospice" had finally opened, and Mumm still called it "Nirma Lied."In the Bengali language, "Nirma Lid" means: pure heart, unblemished heart, or pure heart, pure heart.Chinese Catholicism translates it into: Immaculate Sacred Heart.But there are others who prefer to call it "the House of Rest". Why did Mumu name her hospice "A Pure Heart"?The answer should be in one of her meditations: With a pure heart, it is easy to see Christ. Among the hungry, among the naked, among the homeless, among the lonely, among the unwanted, among the lepers, among the drunkards, among the lying Among the beggars on the street. A pure heart will give freely and love freely until it hurts. Today, it is still the resting place of the dying and sick of Calcutta. Despite the rapid development of the Missionary Sisters of Charity and the establishment of hospices one after another across India and around the world, the first hospice in Karriga has always been well-known for its special significance and influence. "Nirma Lied". start with one Start at the beginning, Ms. Delam told city council officials.I think this sentence contains a very beautiful message, so I specially propose it to share with you. "In my opinion, it's the individual that counts. To love someone, we have to be intimate with him. If we have to get a certain number of people before we start working, we get lost in the numbers," said Sister Durham. , but cannot take care of and respect the individual in its entirety. I only believe in individual encounters, and each person is Christ to me, the only one in the world at that moment. Because there is only one Christ." Mumu firmly believes that even if it is just for one person, Jesus will give himself. A female doctor who worked as a volunteer in a hospice said about her personal experience: "Do you know? It is no longer tens of thousands or billions of poor people, but a person, a specific person I can personally The one who touches." There is a difference between love and general charity.Love must be a face-to-face giving and service, a hand to soothe this one and take care of this one, not just a check -- a cold check without body temperature. So Mumu said: "Love is not sponsorship. So don't just give money, but extend your hand--our hands are so warm," she also said: "I don't agree with the attitude of doing things so high--love from Start with one person." Sister Delam looks at the world in a very peculiar way. She doesn't look at the abstracted things we call the whole. She only looks at the specific individual, the person she can touch with her hand.This is the charism she proclaims.A priest said that Sister Durham's attitude towards individuals is the highest and most beautiful attitude of the Gospel. Everything starts with one, and only when it is meaningful to the specific one, can it be meaningful to many or even the whole.Without the first one, there can be many subsequent ones, even infinite ones, and there is no whole. I heard a wonderful little story that I couldn't resist sharing with you. One morning, when it was just dawn, an old man went for a walk on the beach. From a distance, he saw someone dancing by the beach.He walked towards that person.As a result, he found that the man was not dancing, but picking starfish—the tide had brought countless starfish to the beach, and the man was picking up the starfish one by one and sending them back to the sea. The old man felt that what this man was doing was futile and meaningless, so he couldn't help but said: "There are so many starfish, can you pick them all? What's the point of doing this?" Hearing this, the man raised a starfish high and said to the old man, "Look, there is only meaning to this one." Many people said to Mother Duran: "There are so many poor people in this world—millions, tens of millions, even hundreds of millions. Can you save them? Can you serve them? ? What's the point of your work?" But there is only meaning to this -- meaning to this person.When people only observe and criticize things on the surface, they cannot see the meaning and influence that thing brings to those who have already benefited. One is so important, so not to be underestimated, not to be underestimated, that I think maybe God loves the whole human race as one. Isn’t that the case? Whenever we encounter the world, we meet a person: that person, or this person, is in short a concrete person, not an abstract human being. Therefore, we can only love human beings by loving concrete individuals, because we don't know where the abstract human beings are. smiling angel The hospice work is a job that every nun of the Missionary Sisters of Charity cannot refuse, not only that, but also every priesthood volunteer, this is the rule of the seminary.Girls who applied for membership, once admitted, had to come here on the first day, to serve and comfort those suffering from all kinds of nasty and terrible diseases.And the young nuns also admitted that once they are qualified for the work of the Dormition House, they can also be competent for most of the jobs. They usually get up at 4:30, and then read the Bible, meditate, pray, and attend mass.Then eat breakfast, do laundry, or do other chores.Then, they pushed the BMX to the streets and slums. They rescued the poor, sick and disabled from the sidewalks, gutters, garbage dumps, and sometimes even from crematoriums and cold and damp graves. the dying, or the dying.Among them are old people, children, men and women, and everyone behaves and reacts differently. Some cry, some moan, some despair, some get angry and even curse, but they all share the same misery and misfortune. After the nuns rescued them, they had to wash them first and then apply medicine and bandages for them, but this was by no means an easy task.The unfortunate ones -- some festered.No skin was intact; some were covered with malignant sores or tumors;If it is a little cleaner, the dirt on the body needs to be cleaned with tiles to scrape it off.Most of them probably never took a bath in their whole life. But the nuns cleaned them carefully and patiently, bandaged them tenderly and affectionately, without complaining, let alone disgusting.And when they do something, they are full of joy--they always smile when they complete these jobs that seem incredible to us. For to them, these suffering poor people are really Christ who suffered for mankind on the cross—that all bodies are really one body; all arms are really one arm; all the loss of pain All the chests that had lost their vitality were really the same chest; all the eyes that were dull and dull were all the same eyes, that is to say, to the nuns they were all Jesus. It is said that once, in New Delhi, Sister Delam met an official from the Indian Ministry of Welfare.Because the officials envied the work efficiency of the Missionary Society of Charity, they begged Mumu to train a group of staff for him.A priest accompanying him laughed when he heard this, and he said to the officials: "The nuns are motivated by a special motive. If your staff is not Christian, it will be difficult to transfer this power to them." body." Mother Delam also said: "If people cannot see Jesus in the suffering, it is impossible to carry out this kind of service to the end. When we serve the poor, we are serving Jesus. When we comfort the abandoned, The sick, the orphan, the dying, it is he who is cared for, he is fed, he is clothed, he is visited, he is comforted. Our life has no There is no other purpose, no other motive, which is the source of our strength." That's the whole secret to smiling. Sisters de Ram explained their work in this way: "The spirit of the Missionaries of Charity is total surrender to God, loving trust in others, and joyfulness towards all people. We must accept suffering with joy, we must Live a life of poverty with joyful trust, joyfully serving Jesus among the poor of the poor. God loves the joyful giver, and what he or she gives with a smile is the best. If you are always ready to The Lord says 'yes', and you will naturally face everything with a smile, and you can give with the blessing of the Lord until it hurts." Mumu also believes that Christ is the smile we give to others and the smile others bring to us.So whatever you are doing, you have to do it with a smile on your face.In the eyes of the sisters and nuns, although this work is exhausting, it is a beautiful experience to bring smiles into some people's lives and give care and concern to those in need. The sisters even asked: "Can you enjoy greater joy than this?" I think it is difficult for us to understand the mystery of it only with words.When we admire with reverence, we may only be in awe in the face of this great suffering and equally great love.Other than that, we cannot express the spiritual essence contained in it. Let us remember this saying - God loves a happy giver, and it is best to give with a smile.Because there is love and respect in a smile.As long as you smile at someone from the bottom of your heart, you're giving that person some love, even if you don't do anything. There are times when the nuns, or the volunteers, actually do nothing, just sit -- sit next to a sick person.Hold his or her hand, listen to them quietly, and be with them until the final moment.And those miserable souls got some comfort and release when they confide.Because there is love and respect in this listening.And some of them, perhaps throughout their lives, have never been sincerely listened to or accompanied by them.Compared with the suffering of the body, this pain of being despised, neglected and forgotten for a long time may make them more afraid and trembling. Mother Delam understands this deeply, so she requires the nuns to be completely equal to the poor in terms of clothing, speech, attitude and even diet, not only to help the suffering, but also to take into account the dignity of the suffering at all times.Not only do things for the poor, but more importantly, accompany them when they suffer, share suffering with Christ, Mother said to her nuns, "I don't want to hear of you doing miracles and not being kind, I'd rather you make mistakes and be kind." Mumu also said: "Do we look at the poor with sympathy and compassion? They not only long for food and clothing, they also long for a bit of human dignity. They long for others to treat them as human beings, and hope that others will treat us the same way. way to treat them, they crave our love." A volunteer who had worked in Nirma Ridd in Calcutta described his experience: Because of the pain, I couldn’t use my strength at all. I thought, what am I doing here?When I got back to England I had a long talk with a nun about this.I told her that I learned sign language quickly, and that if anyone needed a drink of water, or a potty, I would bring it to them.But apart from these, I didn't do anything else.Most of the time, I just sit by their bed, look at them, touch them, or feed them something, laugh with them, sometimes they react a little, but most of the time they don't show anything because they are very Weak and unable to express anything at all.So when the nun asked me what I was going through, I said, "I stayed there." But the nun said to me, "What did St. John or Our Lady do under the cross?" The "Gospel" records: When Jesus was crucified, the disciples all ran away, only John, Jesus' mother Mary, and several other women were present, but they didn't do anything, just stayed there. But in the eyes of the nuns, it was enough to stay there.Because staying there means companionship and sharing, comfort and love, and you don't do nothing.Instead, the most important thing has been done. So Mumu said: It's really simple, you just give them something they need, and they are very satisfied, knowing that someone loves them and someone is with them-this is a great help to them. " In fact, everyone who comes to the resting place has more or less double scars in body and mind.Many people with disabilities have severe self-destructive tendencies—bumping themselves against walls, or tearing up sheets—but when they receive more attention and gentler treatment, they change markedly.So the nuns must heal their hearts through loving efforts. And those poor people, when accepting the service of the nuns, always ask: "Why is this? Why do you help me?" The nuns always smile and answer them kindly: "It is to love the Lord. " Smile also because the nuns have a different attitude towards death.When a volunteer named Sarah was working in an asylum in San Francisco, a patient named Chris, whom she had taken care of for a long time, died. She was very sad and couldn't be relieved for a long time. She couldn't go out, and even never went back to work When she was mourning Chris in her own tears, a nun said to her: crying is selfish, it shows that we only think of ourselves - only of our own loss, not of what they are now Where - they are with the Lord, and we should be glad for them.Yes, this house is for the death of people, but what is death? Death is going to God. In the Missionary Sisters of Charity, smiling is so important that the congregation formed an unwritten rule when evaluating and recruiting new members: only those girls who are naturally optimistic and lively can be admitted.As for those girls who are pessimistic and melancholic by nature, the congregation is very cautious when assessing them. Joy, once the identifying word of the early Christians, is now the quality and virtue that every nun in this order must possess. A sensitive newspaper reporter wrote after interviewing the hospice many times: In such a place shrouded in death, it should be full of fear, sorrow and desolation, but now, what I see is tranquility, serenity and joy.This change may come from their smiles, yes, it is the smiles that wipe away the sorrow. A TV reporter even claimed that he saw miracles in this room surrounded by death.He was sure he saw it.When he walked into the room with the photographer, the photographer said that it was impossible to shoot a video in this room because the light in the room was very dim and very weak.But the reporters who came from afar were not reconciled to returning empty-handed, and stubbornly filmed a box of tapes.As a result, the film was surprisingly clear, and the cameraman couldn't explain it. But I'd rather attribute the miracle to the nuns -- to their smiles, the angelic smiles that light up this darkened room.If their smiles can make a place that should be sad and cold become warm, peaceful, full of joy and warmth, then this smile will surely make a gloomy room bright in front of the reporter's camera.I am sure of that.They are a group of smiling angels.And angels are beings that walk with light. Joy is what makes this order and each of its members special, and it surrounds the community, and the poor they serve, like a balm in the time of Jesus.Sister Isabelle, a girl from a rich family in France, when a reporter asked her what was left, she cheerfully replied: "What is left of me? Two saris, joy and Christ." At the end of each term of beginners, the congregation will hold a special celebration.The atrium of the church was full of people. Young nuns and senior nuns sang and danced together, and some even painted their faces with various colors and dressed up as various characters.In our impression, nuns are mostly serious and rigid.But in the Sisters of Charity Missionaries, the joy and peace expressed by smiles are the consistent expressions of every nun, and in this kind of celebration, they are more released and more cheerful, so that the whole celebration is like A hilarious Bengali wedding.At the end of the celebration, Mother Delam usually makes a speech: "You have now become nuns who can work independently, please share today's joy to all the poor, our work is not just to help the poor, we It is even more important to send light and joy to those who are suffering. You should not only live with the poor, but also become messengers of happiness and love. Let joy shine on this world like the sun. Only joy and love can eliminate this Poverty and sickness in the world. May the Lord bless you and be happy forever." But in fact, nuns are not always happy, or happy every day. Sometimes, they also cry, for example, when their parents, brothers or sisters are sick, or encounter intractable difficulties, they cannot give With any helping hand, the only thing to do is pray.At this time, they will cry.Because they are human.They love the Lord, but they also love their families. A religious writer said: If one can still smell joy in the midst of a dreadfully despised crowd, one is either an insensible one or a saintly one. According to her reasoning, the nuns of the Missionary Society of Charity are undoubtedly saints. So, what is holiness? Sister Delam’s explanation of this question is very strange, “Holiness is to get rid of everything that is not God in me, and to be holy is to do the will of God with a smile.” This is the admirable mystery of Sister Delam.All her life she smiled, and in that smile no matter how great the pain, was turned into joy, love, and kindness.Her smile itself was the most wonderful blessing to the poor she served. living goddess Although the hospice next to the Temple of Kali is such a wonderful place, and although the motives and purposes of Sister Durham are so simple and clear, at first, many people did not understand, or were unwilling to understand, especially Some radical Hindus.Doubt, jealousy, and antagonism made them unwilling to accept the good thing that Mumu had done for the smallest brother.They feared that the hospice would tarnish their Goddess, and that the mums would convert sick or dying Hindus to Christians—there were all kinds of creeds among the poor taken in by the asylum, but it was undeniable that Most Hindus. Therefore, shortly after the establishment of the hospice, radical Hindus gathered many people to parade in front of the temple, with the largest number reaching more than a thousand people at one time. Although the nuns and nuns repeatedly stated that they did this only to witness the love of the Lord and to give dignity to the poor or dying, they never tried to convert anyone's beliefs.They help others on the basis of their own beliefs, but they also absolutely respect the beliefs of others.But those naysayers were unwilling to believe it.Although they saw with their own eyes that the nuns and nuns took Ganges water for dying Hindus, chanted scriptures for dying Buddhists, held anointing ceremony for dying Christians, recited the Koran for Muslims who were dying, and After they died, the Shens were sent to their respective cemeteries for burial.Even the babes picked up from the streets were not baptized by Mother until they were grown up and capable of autonomy. Mumu said: "There is only one God, He is unique and Lord of all things, therefore, everyone is equal before the Lord. I always say that what we should do is to help a Hindus become To be a better Hindu, to help a Mohammedan to be a better Mohammedan, to help a Christian to be a better Christian." Based on this kind of broad love, a special practice was formed in the Sisters of Charity Missionaries and its branches established later, that is: regularly invite people of different beliefs to pray together. Therefore, whenever the sisters and different religious beliefs When the believers are together, she sends out such an invitation: "Let us pray to our common father." But this does not show that Mumu is unruly and casual in her beliefs. On the contrary, she is a devout Catholic. The nun, with every hair of her faith, is firmly attached to her tradition, and she does it just to show that she respects everyone, including their religion. However, the tense atmosphere in front of the Kali Temple did not ease because of these visible facts.Some people who thought they had status even protested to the religious groups in Calcutta."The hospice has desecrated the sacred temple of Kali," they said. This morning, Mumu came back with a baby picked up from a trash can. From a distance, she saw a large group of men gathered in front of the Rest House. Head, ready to go around.But one of the men still grabbed her and said, "You have no right to stay here, you have desecrated this holy place." Mumu replied, "We just want to bring God's love to the dying." When the men heard this, they became even more furious. They waved their arms and shouted, "It's not our god, it's your Lord. Go away! Go back to your Motiji!" Mannik, who was a volunteer here, just came back at this time, and he pushed the men away without saying a word, and then Mumu barely escaped into the house. In the midst of this continuous wave of hostility, at noon that day, a patient with a special status was sent here. The patients of Dormition Home mainly come from two ways. One is that the nuns go to the streets to search for them, and the other is that the government directly sends those patients that no hospital is willing to accept.This particular patient was the abbot of the Kali temple, considered a saint by devout Hindus.The abbot was seriously ill with tuberculosis, but all the hospitals in Calcutta refused to admit him. At this time, outside the rest house, the believers of the abbot were demonstrating.They were shirtless, holding trumpets, slogans, banners, and even sticks, shouting fierce and provocative slogans. Their anger and resentment, like a balloon that has been blown to the limit, may explode at any time, causing the entire Kazakhstan to explode. The air in Riga is filled with doubts, dissatisfaction and hostility. But inside the Dormition House, the abbot, who is seriously ill, is being cared for by Mother Delam.Just like every patient who enters the Rest House asks "Why?", the abbot asked Mumu: "I am so hostile to you, how can you really care about me?" Mumu replied: "Because I love you, my love for you is like the love of God." The abbot said: "Indians believe that suffering is due to doing bad things, and through physical pain, we can understand God." "Christ taught us that even good or innocent people suffer," Mum said. The abbot coughed violently, but he still managed to stand up, stretched out a hand to touch the cross on Mumu's shoulder, and said, "That's your God, when I see him suffering on the cross, I can't help but wonder what evil he has done to end up in such a miserable state." Mumu replied, "Christ was crucified to prove His great love. He bore the sins of mankind, and He sacrificed for mankind." Before Mumu finished speaking, there was a "bang" sound, and a window glass was smashed.Along with the ear-piercing sound of glass shattering, there was a sudden earth-shattering shout outside, and the nuns hurried to the window to see that the demonstrators were burning the congregation uniforms of the Missionary Sisters of Charity.They tied a sari to a long pole and held it aloft to burn, and Mumu stood up suddenly, and she said to the nuns, "I have to go out, I have to talk to them. ’ But Sunita and Maria stopped the sister and said, ‘No, no, sister, they will hurt you, we should get someone to help.’ Mumu said, "If they kill me, I can see the Lord sooner." At this moment, the outside suddenly became quiet, and only a high-pitched male voice was heard saying, "Sister, listen, the government ordered you to move out of this house until the council reassesses your right to use it. If you don't leave voluntarily, Then, the government will enforce it." It turned out to be the official from the city council. Mumu prayed silently, then pushed Sunita and Maria away, and walked out calmly. When the official saw Mumu, he said, "I have warned you, nun, if there is a dispute, I have to ask you to leave." , if you don’t want to leave peacefully, then I can only arrest you.” Mu Mu replied: "There are many patients here who can't move at all. If you insist on asking us to leave, please come in and take a look." "How can I get in there? There are dead people inside," the official said. Mumu said, "No, sir, there are many lives inside, you will know when you come in and take a look." Mumu stared at the officer, her brown eyes shining with an irresistible light.官员犹豫了一下，终于说：“那好吧。” 走到门口，官员又对姆姆说：“你们明白事情有多严重吗？如果你们不愿离开，就会遭到逮捕。我会将这些病患转移到政府的收容机构。印度人有足够的能力照顾自己，不需要你们帮忙。” 但是，当他走进屋子里面，尤其当他看清屋子里面的真实情形时，他就一句话也说不出来了。他所看到的人，没有一个不是患着肮脏恐怖的疾病，身上烂得东一块西一块的，更没有一个是有力气自己照顾自己的，大多数人都是气息奄奄的样子。但修女们却在服侍他们。他看到，一个长相清秀的年轻修女，正俯在一个老人身边为他清理伤口，而他的伤口里竟然生满了令人恶心的蛆虫。 官员站在那里，一句话也说不出来，他脸上的表情异常复杂，有惊讶，有恐惧，有疑惑，也有深深的感动。 这时，官员身后突然晌起一阵急促的咳嗽声，他不由自主地转过身去，看到咳嗽的人竟然是卡里神庙的住持，他吃惊地问：“怎么，她们连你也收留了？” 住持费劲地欠起身子，对官员说：“记住甘地的话，我们随时都应该想到最贫穷和最无助的人，我们应该经常反问自己，我们究竟为他们做了些什么?我们所做的事是否对他们有用？而穷人又能获得什么？” 官员盯着住持，什么也没有说，他的眼睛瞪得差不多有一枚核桃那么大，然后他就默默地走了出去。 示威的人们看见官员出来，拼命地欢呼，他们肯定以为姆姆已经屈服了。官员对他们说：“我答应你们，我会驱逐她的，我会的。”说到这里，官员突然话锋一转：“但是，除非我看到你们的父母、兄弟、姐妹，每天进出这里，接替她们的工作，我才会来驱逐这个修女。” 从这以后，就再没人来找过姆姆的麻烦，尤其是，当印度教徒们知道了住持的事后，他们的态度就彻底改变了。他们不仅不再反对姆姆，还帮助修女们上街找寻病人，并且捐钱给姆姆。有些印度教徒到神庙里来祭祀的时候，还会到安息之家看一看，顺便给姆姆带来一些日常用品，有个印度教徒对姆姆说：“现在我知道你们在这里干什么了，你们把那些不幸的人拖回来，然后再把他们背到天堂里去。” 有个神庙的法师也在这里度过了一段难忘的时光。刚来的时候，他也是心存疑虑，但离开的时候他却说：“我供奉时母女神已有80多年，但今天我却看见了一个活生生的女神。”从此以后，这个法师就成了姆姆的好朋友， 姆姆说：“我们试看向穷人中的穷人传达的信息是：我们无法解决你的问题，然而即使你身体残障、酗酒，或者患有麻风，上主依然爱你。不管你痊愈与否，上主对你的爱丝毫未减，而我们在这里正是要表达这份爱。如果我们也能帮助他们减轻些许痛苦，那固然很好，不过更重要的是，我们要让他们知道，无论处于如何的痛苦与折磨，上主永远爱他们。” 德兰姆姆的临终关怀院给印度社会带来的影响，是巨大的，更是史无前例的，它以一种真实存在于上主面前的人人平等，悄无声息地改变了许多印度人根深蒂固的等级观念，到后来，一些出生于印度婆罗门种姓的上层女子，也开始频繁地出入安息之家，并且跟修女们一样亲手照料那些不久于人世的穷人，为他们洗澡，给他们喂食喂水，安慰他们，这在过去是不能想像的。在过去的印度，姆姆和修女们所爱的这些穷人中的穷人，在婆罗门看来，通通都是卑贱的“不可触摸者”。 有一个从外地初到加尔各答的人问一个印度教徒：什么是基督教？印度教徒回答：付出。 上主因为爱世界太深，以致付出了自己的儿子。耶稣为了向我们证实祂伟大的爱，不仅付出财富，使自己成为一个贫穷的人，一个饥饿的人，一个赤身露体无家可归的人，一个最微小的人，更付出生命，把自己变成常用的饮食－－这句话来自《福音书》的一段记载：他们正吃的时候，耶稣拿起饼来，掰开，递给他们说：“你们拿去吃吧，这是我的身体。”又拿起杯来祝谢了，递给他们，他们都从杯中喝了。耶稣对他们说：“这是我的血，新约之血，为大众流出来的。” 而现在，德兰姆姆以她完全的付出－－整日整夜的付出，整月整年的付出，整整一生的付出，以致成伤咸疾的付出，证明了一个伟大真理的真实存在，即上主面前人人平等的可能。同时证明了上主的存在，以及祂对人类从未间断的牵挂与眷顾，她和她们，因而成为祂在今世的爱，以及祂在今世的怜悯。 在这一节的最后，我要跟你们分享一个小故事： 火车就要启动了，一个人这才匆匆忙忙地跑来。他在上车的时候，一只脚被门夹了--下，结果一只鞋子掉在了车下，火车开动了，这个人迅速地脱下另一只鞋子，朝第一只鞋子掉下去的地方，毫不犹豫地扔了下去。 有人问他为什么要这么做。他说：“如果一个穷人正好经过那里，他就可以拣到一双鞋，这双鞋或许对他很有用呢。” 这个人就是甘地。在印度，他被人民尊称为“圣雄”。 为最微小的那一个而做 耶稣说，你们为我兄弟中最微小的那一个做的，就是为我做的，面对这份深切的渴望，德兰姆姆是以这样的方式来回应祂的：先把自己变成那最微小的一个－－使自己成为穷人；然后选择为最微小的那一个而做－－为穷人中的穷人服务；与此同时，以最微小的方式去落实她的服务。也就是，拒绝使这种服务制度化，设施化，专业化甚至也拒绝使修女们的神修教育规模化，学院化。 我们还是通过几个具体事例来看吧： 德兰姆姆不愿意有医院。她把病房设在临终关怀院里，而且她一直拒绝雇佣专职医生。她认为，如果有两三个做医生的义工愿意免费值班就足够了。多年来，她从不添置治疗方面的任何设备，哪怕是一架显微镜，虽然显微镜可能对快速诊治某些疾病特别有用，但她却认为：这看起来好像是为了更好地为病人服务，但用不了多久，设施就会变得比病人更为重要－－有了设施，就必然要对病人作出选择。那些最有希望痊愈的病人，势必会成为医院的首选。而那些注定要死的病人，则一定会被排斥在医治之外，即便医院和医生愿意帮助他们，但设施是有限的。 我们现在所处的这个世界，基本上是一个利益的世界，赢利成为整个社会的目标。但在仁爱传教修女会那里，一切工作的实施，似乎都是与赢利相反的。比如在临终关怀院里，有很多病人被多次而反复的收留，几十年如一日。有些人痊愈了，出去了，但没过几天，又回来了，而且情形比前一次更糟。但修女们绝不会因为曾经收留过他，就拒绝他，或冷落他。每一个再次或多次被收留的人，修女们都以同样的热情、同情和耐心服侍他们。在修女们看来，从来就不存在“不能再被收留者”，人人都可以再被收留，只要他需要，但是，如果仁爱传教修女会的事业被设施化、制度化，那么，这种无条件的再收留服务，势必会受到限制。 而且，因为有了这些设施，穷人在费用方面的付出将会成倍增长，最终必然导致穷人中的穷人被关在医院的门外，使他们连最基本的医疗护理都无法享受到。 因此，姆姆认为：设施化、制度化，有可能能够更好地服务于穷人，但不一定能够服务于最穷的人。而仁爱传教修女会，恰恰是为那些最穷的人，即最微小的人，而存在的，在修女们的神修方面，姆姆也一直坚持一种微小的方式，几十年后，仁爱传教修女会已经遍及全球，但在加尔各答的母院里，却一直只有两位神父在为300位受教的修女服务，这些被爱火焚烧的灵魂，选择了一种最微小的方式成长。 但这并不表明德兰姆姆不重视她们的神修教育，恰恰相反，仁爱传教会的修女一般需要经过长达6年的严格培训，才能正式成为一个修女。在发终生誓愿之前，修会允许修女们回家3个星期，以便她们藉此作出最后的决定－－是回家，还是终生做修女。而见习生的预备过程，则包括了灵性上的修炼和实际工作的训练两个方面，如病人护理，社会工作、医疗技术，法律知识等，有的还要补上必要的文化课，不懂英语的，还要学习英语－－因为它是修会的国际语言。 在天主教众多修会日渐式微的大环境里，仁爱传教修女会却能迅速地发展壮大，而它的修女们，也能在这条微小的道路上迅速成长。其中的奥秘是什么呢？信靠上主，依侍上主。这就是全部的奥秘。在德兰姆姆瘦小的身躯里，储满对上主的巨大信心。 在临终关怀院里，有些病人会把领到的药品拿去变卖，但修女们却认为，这没有关系。既然她们在祈祷中把他交给了主，那么主自然会管教他。如果缺少治疗一个妇女所必需的疫苗，她们认为这也不要紧。既然她们把最有价值的东西即上主的爱给了她，那么她们相信，上主自然会照顾她。 一个没有宗教经验的人，无疑会认为这种依侍有些过分，不切实际，甚至很天真。但这正是德兰姆姆在一切的事情上点石成金的法宝。我们以为的软弱，恰恰是她的力量。因为只有深知自己的软弱，才会放下一切不顾一切地去信靠，姆姆最喜欢说的一句口头禅是：“假如上主愿意，那么这事便会成功。”正是这种全身心的依侍，使她有勇气在一切的事情上选择微小。 而更重要的是，德兰姆姆还相信，其实上主也选择了成为微小。对她来说，伯利恒和各各他是同一个地方。在伯利恒，上主成为一个软弱无助的小孩－－祂接受了一个那么弱小的身体，在各各他，祂又让这个身体毫无抵抗地被出卖，被排挤，被钉上十字架，最后变成了一块饼。上主用温柔、忍耐和谦卑，使自己成为人群里的最微小者，我们面对的其实是一个脆弱的容易受伤的上主。 因此，德兰姆姆常常提醒修女们自省：“这根钉子是不是因为我？祂脸上的唾沫是不是出自我？祂的身体和祂的心灵里有没有哪一处是因为我而受苦？”在很多时候，我们往往会因为一句无心的话，而把一根钉子钉进别人心里。而在姆姆看来，这根钉子不管钉在谁的心里，伤痕都是在基督的身上。 因为这种深信，所以姆姆在一切的事情上，都无一例外地选择了微小。在她看来，如果真正地要为最微小的那一个而做，就必须使整个修会在各个方面从始至终地保持完全彻底的微小。虽然一直以来，都有人就她的工作方式提出异议，甚至批评。但姆姆不为所动，她不相信什么制度，她认为，现代人迷失在制度里已经很深很深了。 可以说，这是我们在20世纪所能看到的对基督最完整最奇妙的回应。这种回应以及所产生的巨大效果，几乎要使我们开始怀疑那些最伟大的人类力量了。是的，就是这样。德兰姆姆用她孱弱微小的声音向世界宣布：惟一迈向生命之路的，就是简单、弱小和微不足道。而其中所隐含的全部奥秘，其实就在那句简单的话里： 爱人，像我爱你们一样。 这句耶稣语录，被姆姆刻在仁爱传教会每个小圣堂的十字架脚座上。 我只是祂手上的一支铅笔 有一个长期追踪印度问题的美国记者，有一天很偶然地看到了一篇有关德兰姆姆和临终关怀院的报道，多年的记者生涯使他敏锐识到，这是一个极有价值的采访对象。于是他以最快的速度从美国来到了加尔各答，又以最快的速度来到了尼尔玛，利德，记者站在门口，不知道哪个是德兰姆姆。修女们都穿着一样的会服，包着一样的头巾，甚至连脸上的表情也是一样的－－一样的微笑和平静。也有一些穿着不同服装的人，但他们显然是义工。这时，有个义工模样的人突然朝一个中年修女喊了声：“甘地修女”。记者：立刻就明白了。他想，除了德兰修女，还有谁能够被印度人尊敬地称为“甘地修女”呢？ 于是他向甘地修女走去。他是一个经验丰富的记者，见过世面，自然也很自信：“我叫哈普，是国际新闻社的记者，我想和你谈一谈。” 德兰姆姆正在照料一个垂危的病人，看到哈普，她双手合十，行了一个礼，然后说：“我没有时间说话，哈普先生。” 哈普说：“我想报道你的工作，你的修会和印度教之间的冲突，突显了印度的矛盾。” 姆姆说：“我们只重视帮助穷人，我们不关心政治。” 哈普说：“是的，我了解，但是你不希望全世界的人都知道你的工作吗?” 听了这话，姆姆停下手里的活，站起身来对哈普说：“这是上主的工作，不是我的工作。请你别浪费时间报道我，我只是一个工具，一个平凡的工具，请你去报道那些穷人吧，你只要用眼睛去看，用耳朵去听，用心去观察，你就会发现穷人有多可爱，有多伟大。”说完，姆姆就把哈普晾在那里，朝另一个病人走去了。 哈普站在那里，他几乎不敢看－－那些伤残的人，得病的人，垂死的人，每个看上去都是那么恐怖，那么令人难受。这时，秋蒂抱着一个拼命咳嗽的人进来，这人的腰上有一个很大的伤口，已经溃烂得生了蛆。姆姆立即叫秋蒂把那人抱到里面去，她要亲自为他清理。 作为战地记者，哈普经历过很多的伤残和死亡，但此时此刻，他还是非常震惊。就在这时，一个病人突然呕吐起来，把散发着强烈异昧的呕吐物全都喷在了哈普的脚上。哈普本能地挪开脚，不知所措地看着姆姆－－他惊恐得都快晕过去了。 他是个身经百战的战地记者，见识过很多可个白的场面。今天的这个战场虽然没有硝烟，但与那些硝烟弥漫的战场比起来，似乎更可怕。 哈普跟姆姆喊道：“修女，他会传染我的。” 姆姆走过来平静地对他说：“不会的，不要怕他们。”说着，就蹲下去把那人脸上嘴上以及身上的秽物都擦干净了，然后，又抱起他的头，把他扶正，以便他睡得更舒适些。 哈普尴尬地退到走廊里，他坐在那里半天都惊魂未定。姆姆走过来对他说：“第一天都是这样的，会很震惊，不知所措，但不久就习惯了。” 哈普摇摇头，惭愧地说。“不，这是不可能的，我恐怕永远做不到，我以为自己见识过各种残酷的战争场面，这些不可能影响到我，没想到，我居然……” 姆姆按了按他的肩膀，安慰他说：“相信我，不久的将来，你就会帮他们洗澡，拿水给他们喝，喂东西给他们吃的，你会做到的，一定会的。” 傍晚时分，这个久经沙场的美国记者回到了旅馆。天黑后，他开始在灯下写他的“加尔各答日志”，他写道：“今天，在印度女神的神殿旁，我看到人类的同情心在世间最苦难的人群中，透出一道光亮。当她弯腰为一位垂死的老人更换绷带擦洗伤口时，或许我看到的是圣者的容颜。” 第二天早晨，当哈普再次来到临终关怀院时，看到姆姆正在为一个病人清理溃烂发臭的伤口，他非常震惊，完全无法掩饰内心的颤栗，当即说，“就是给我100万，我也不干。”没想到，姆姆竟然轻松地笑着，说：“我也不干。”姆姆的意思是说：她是在为上主工作，而不是在为钱工作。 这个美国记者日后跟德兰姆姆成了好朋友。在几十年的时光里，他多次前往加尔各答采访姆姆，而且在姆姆的感召下，他对乞丐更慷慨，对穷人更友善了。但是，有一点他一直没能做到，那就是，亲手照料那些病患和垂死者。直到1979年年底，他最后一次来到这里时，才勉强在一个重病的老人身边蹲下，但那一年，他也很老了，头发和胡子都花白了。 从仁爱传教修女会创办之初，到1997年德兰姆姆安然长逝，这期间有无数的记者采访过姆姆，为什么我单单要把这个美国记者作为一个范例拿出来讲呢?我个人认为，他的经历很有代表性，非常有代表性，他代表了我们大多数人，至少代表了我。 我想我跟他一样，也许我也能慷慨而友善地对待一个乞丐，或一个穷人，但我无法为那些垂死的患有各种肮脏可怕疾病的人清理溃烂的伤口，为他们洗澡。我无法做到，至少现在我无法做到。也许当我变得跟哈普一样年迈的时候，我会有所改变。但现在我做不到。我必须承认，我心中的同情、怜悯和信心还很弱小，还不足以承担那样深重的苦难。 基于这种自我认识，我无比钦佩德兰姆姆，以及那些追随她的修女、修士和义工们。我无比地钦佩他们。 多年来，德兰姆姆和她的仁爱传教修女会，因为这种特殊的以爱行事的传教方式，以及她们对这个世界的付出和影响，而长期受到世界各大传媒的密切关注，对此，姆姆总是对那些前来采访她的记者说“这个工作是他的工作，我们只是他的一件工具，我们尽完一点力，做完几件小事后，就会离开，但他的工作将会继续。” 无论多么老练的记者，都无法从姆姆那里采访到有关她个人的事情，更无法使她谈论自己。在姆姆看来，谈论自己是一件非常可怕的事，这真是一个奇特的现象，德兰姆姆只是一个修会的会母，但她受欢迎的程度，甚至超过了至高无上的罗马教宗。无论是一个基督徒，还是一个非基督徒，无论是一个穷人，还是一个富翁，都会不由自主地被她的芬芳所吸引。不管在什么场合，只要她一出现，她立刻就成了人们眼中的焦点，不管她愿不愿意。她那瘦小文弱的身躯，因而咸了照相机和摄影机不断追踪的对象，很多记者都觉得，这个见过世面的修女，在面对镜头时却很拘谨，甚至还很笨拙。 有一回，英国广播公司对姆姆进行电视采访，由著名记者麦高里住持。节目已经开始了，姆姆却仍然缩成一团地坐在直播间里，手捻念珠念着经，懵然不知此时此刻英国有一半的观众正盯着自己。访谈开始没多久，姆姆就把麦高里甩在一边，自顾自地，反客为主地侃侃而谈起来。结果麦高里不得不放下原来的设计，跟着姆姆的思路走。 从电视技术的角度看，那完全是一次失败的采访。但节目播出后所引起的反响，却是空前的。信件和捐款像潮水一样地涌向电视台，无数的人问着同一个问题：“这个女人感动了我，我怎么做才能帮助她呢？” 这就是姆姆的独特魅力－－并不是因为她所讲述的天堂，而是因为她的简朴、真实、自然，因为她在真诚的微笑之中所流露出的适度的批评，因为她毫不做作毫不掩饰地表现出来的人性。当然还有一个重要的原因，那就是上主无所不在的慈爱，像瑰丽的玫瑰花辦一样撒落在她孱弱的身上，并成了一种让人感受得到的光芒。 但有时候，姆姆也会很听话地配合记者，因为这种或多或少的个人崇拜，可以为她的各种服务中心带来可观的进账，但姆姆绝不会让自己成为记者任意摆弄的木偶。有一回，姆姆不无自嘲地说：“我和耶稣签订了一份合同，每给我拍一张照片，就会有一个灵魂从炼狱释放出来。近来喀嚓声不断，恐怕炼狱已经空城了。” 但在更多的时候，姆姆却会对记者说：“去拍她们吧，请你去拍她们，她们就是我。”姆姆指的是她的修女们。 有一回，在一个盛大的聚会上，一个崇拜姆姆的人向她献上了一束艳丽的鲜花。姆姆立即走向祭坛，跪下来，恭敬地把花摆在了圣龛前。也就是，把花献给了耶稣，天主教徒相信，圣龛就是耶稣在人间的居所。把花献给耶稣则是表明，一切的光荣都归于上主。 艾克森神父曾经是德兰姆姆的同事，也是她多年的老友，也因此，有些经验丰富的记者会去采访神父，希望从他那里挖到有关姆姆的独家新闻。有个记者比较幸运，他在神父那里听到了一个美妙的小故事。 有一天，天气很好，姆姆和神父坐在走廊里谈话。有很长时间,姆姆都摆弄着手里的一支铅笔出神。神父就问她在想什么。姆姆回答说：“你看，我大概就是这支铅笔吧。没错，我就是这只铅笔，我是祂手上一支小小的不显眼的铅笔，用来写祂想写的。” 这个小故事看起来很简单。却是我们认识德兰姆姆的一道门，一道很重要的大门。 白纳德修女作为姆姆最早的追随者之一，曾经跟随姆姆走过最初的艰苦时光，多年后，白纳德修女对记者说：“现在如果我告诉修女们当初我们是如何生活的，她们肯定不会相信，她们会说这是不可能的，但事实的确如此。那时我们经常要行乞才能活下去。那时候的德兰修女，还没人知道，有一段日子，她自己都差不多要流落街头了。 但她要的就是艰难，她不要安逸，她常常对我们说：仁爱传教修女会只是上主手上的一件小工具，我们要努力，让上主随时拥有这样一件小工具。 " 在我们看来，德兰姆姆无疑是20世纪最伟大的女性之一，是一个圣人，但她却说：我只是一支铅笔－－只是一件小小的工具。这句话给我们带来了什么奇妙的启示呢？ 有个宗教作家说：如果身处可怕的被轻视的群体中，仍然能够散发喜悦的芬芳，那么，这个人要么是一个无知觉者，要么就是一个圣者。 按照她的推理，仁爱传教会的修女们，无疑都是圣者。 那么，什么是圣洁呢?德兰姆姆对这一问题的解释非常奇特“圣洁就是除去我身上一切不是上主的东西，圣洁，就是笑行上主之旨意。” 这就是德兰姆姆令人景仰的奥妙之所在。她一生都在微笑，无论多大的痛苦都会在这种微笑中化为喜悅、挚爱和仁慈。在她所服务的穷人那里，她的微笑本身就是最美妙的祝福。