Chapter 18 2

Wang Hongwen arrived in Changsha at 5:00 p.m., and at around 7:30 p.m., the Prime Minister went with him to meet the chairman.At that time, Wang Hongwen was the vice chairman of the party. When Mao Zedong launched the "Cultural Revolution", the row of "fanning the flames" on the left finger is now Wang Hongwen's representative; the row of "saving people from fire and water" on the right finger is the prime minister. Representatives, representatives of the two political forces report to the chairman at the same time.At that time, I felt that Mao Zedong repeatedly called for "unity" and "unity" in order to unite the two forces, but in fact it was impossible.

We waited in the lounge at the entrance. After more than two hours, the conversation was over. The Prime Minister was relaxed, not tired, with a smile on his face.Wang Hongwen also showed courtesy, respect and comity to the Prime Minister.So, I knew the conversation was going well. The Prime Minister stayed in Changsha for 5 days according to the chairman’s wishes. As mentioned earlier, on December 26, the Prime Minister invited us to accompany the personnel and several comrades in charge of the military area and the province to dinner. Of course, he paid for it himself. Chairman congratulations on the birthday.

The next day, we escorted the Prime Minister back to Beijing safely. On January 13, 2010, Zhou Enlai delivered a government work report on behalf of the State Council at the Fourth National People's Congress. This is his last government work report, and thus begins a series of "last times".I will talk about these "last times" one by one later. In the Prime Minister's report, there was a passage that raised his voice. This passage is: "Within this century, fully realize the modernization of agriculture, industry, national defense and science and technology, so that our national economy will be at the forefront of the world."

I always believe that this is the last and most important political last word left by the Prime Minister to the people of the whole country. After the Fourth National People's Congress, the Prime Minister's condition deteriorated sharply. After a gastroscope examination, he found a tumor in the large intestine close to the liver. At the end of March, he underwent a third major operation. While bandaging the incision, Zhou Enlai, who was lying on the operating bed, slowly opened his eyes.His dejected eyes revealed a look of seeking, and the corners of his mouth twitched a few times.

The medical staff hurriedly bowed their heads: "Does it hurt?" The prime minister closed his eyes in denial, and then opened them again.Lips start to move.The medical staff hurriedly put their ears close to the bloodless mouth. "Call...call Li Binglai." Comrade Li Bing, who had just left the operating room, heard the call, hurried back to the operating bed, and bent down towards the Prime Minister. "Li Bing," Prime Minister Ne Nuwa called. "En." Li Bing responded, putting his ear to it.She felt the heat of the Prime Minister's breath and the sound waves of difficult words:

"Yunnan, tin miners, do you know the incidence of lung cancer?" "Know." "You guys, have to solve... this problem. Go... right away." After saying this, the prime minister's nose was already sweating.Li Bing's eyes were red, he nodded vigorously, and said in a hoarse voice, "I'm going, please stop talking, Prime Minister, and have a good rest." She didn't dare to stop, and hurriedly exited the operating room.As soon as he went out, he covered his mouth suddenly, and tears immediately flowed down like a small river. After this operation, the Prime Minister realized that his time was indeed running out, and he started working the next day.Let Xiao Gao and I read some international briefings, domestic developments, big references and reference materials for him.Sometimes when Sister Deng came, Sister Deng would read for him.Zhou Enlai had a strong sense of organization and discipline, and the level at which the document was sent was the level, and it would never spread if it should not be read by others, and it was no exception for Sister Deng.If Sister Deng brought a seal, she would cut it open for him in front of him and hand it to him to see.

As soon as he was able to go to the field, Zhou Silai began to work day and night again.From March to September, he talked with various people 102 times, met with foreign guests 34 times, held 3 meetings in the hospital, left the hospital for 7 meetings, and went out to see people 4 times.This activity continued until October, when I was finally bedridden after the operation. On April 3, 2010, the Prime Minister could not get out of bed after resecting the intestinal tumor. Due to repeated pleas from the Tunisian Prime Minister Nuira, Premier Zhou met him in bed. On September 7, 2009, regardless of the seriousness of his illness, the Prime Minister insisted on meeting with the Romanian party and government delegation led by Wildec.This is the last time that the Prime Minister met countless foreign guests in his life.

During the meeting, the Prime Minister said frankly: "I have already received the invitation from Marx. This is nothing, it is a natural law that does not depend on human will... Now, the Vice Premier (Deng Xiaoping) has fully assumed responsibility. .” On May 3, 2011, Zhou Enlai fell ill and attended a meeting of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee convened by Mao Zedong.In his speech, Mao Zedong criticized Jiang Qing and others for engaging in the "Gang of Four".He yelled in Hunan dialect: "Jiang Qing bastard!" Due to his long-term illness and slurred speech, and his Hunan accent, Mao Zedong had to be translated.The translator explained this sentence tactfully, but Mao Zedong lost his temper and asked the original words to be translated.The translator had no choice but to repeat: "Jiang Qing bastard".With this scolding, Jiang Qing and Zhang Chunqiao did not change their expressions, but Wang Hongwen and Yao Wenyuan turned pale with fright.Mao Zedong decided that Deng Xiaoping would preside over the daily work of the Central Committee and preside over meetings criticizing the "Gang of Four".Thereby creating conditions for the rectification of various tasks.

This was the last time the prime minister attended a Politburo meeting. On June 9, 2010, the Premier ordered me to have a haircut and shave my face, and to attend the ashes interment ceremony of Marshal He Long.The medical staff and I tried our best to dissuade him, but the Prime Minister refused to listen and insisted on going.Seeing that the Prime Minister was anxious and angry, I had no choice but to compromise. In the hospital, the Prime Minister kept meeting with foreign guests, so we got him a barber chair, which is very convenient for shaving. That day, after a haircut and shave, the Premier and Sister Deng drove to the auditorium of the Babaoshan Revolutionary Cemetery.We opened the car door and helped the Prime Minister get out of the car. He first walked slowly to the table where the attendance book was placed.

The most precious thing in the prime minister's life is his noble personal qualities, and he strives to pursue a flawless history.No matter where he goes, he tries to maintain his inherent image.His body and spirit are exhausted to the extreme, but once faced with the attention of outsiders, he insists on not wanting us to help him; Body balance; walk slowly but with continuity.His clothes were straight as usual, without any wrinkle or dirt; his hair was not disheveled, and under his mighty thick eyebrows, his eyes were still shining brightly, warming and inspiring like fire.No wonder some foreign friends said that he "is a warm current and a beam of light".

When Zhou Enlai picked up the pen to sign in, his hands trembled violently, and the tip of the pen was bouncing close to the paper.We all held our breaths and tried our best to help him in our hearts. This small signature also became a contest, a contest between the thoughts and condolences for our comrades-in-arms and the serious illness.He finally pressed the quivering and bouncing nib of an elf to the paper, moved with difficulty but persisted, and wrote: Zhou—en—come. His tight lips relaxed slightly, and he let out a breath.So, we escorts also breathed a sigh of relief, already sweating profusely. After signing in, Zhou Enlai walked towards the lounge under the guidance of relevant personnel, and shouted loudly after entering the door: "Xue Ming, Comrade Xue Ming!" In the past six months, Zhou Silai has never had such a loud voice.He Long's widow, Xue Ming, raised her head when she heard the sound and called out "Prime Minister!" and rushed over immediately, her face full of tears. Zhou Enlai's excitement was palpable.He opened his arms and hugged Xue Ming all at once, his body shook from weakness and trembled from grief. "Xue Ming," Zhou Enlai choked with grief, "I didn't protect him well..." As he spoke, Zhou Enlai burst into tears.I understand his mood at the moment.As the prime minister, he had more personal contacts with the two vice premiers, Chen Yi and He Long, and they often went shopping, sweeping the roads and watching performances together.Protecting Chen Yi, he can have a clear conscience, protecting He Long, he really didn't do a good job.Because Lin Biao insisted on defeating He Long, Mao Zedong listened to Wu Faxian and others' many false accusations, and became suspicious. Zhou Enlai obeyed the will of his superiors. He Long was taken away from the Prime Minister's house after all. "I'll pick you up again in half a year." The people around did not fully understand the prime minister's mood, but were caught in the mourning of the survivors for the dead.The Prime Minister burst into tears, and the surrounding cries immediately rang out. He Long's daughter, He Xiaoming, held the Prime Minister's hand tightly and said, "Uncle Zhou, take care of your health, take care of your health!" Zhou Enlai stared at her with tears in his eyes. After a moment, he said in a trembling voice, "My time is not long." This heartbreaking sigh once again attracted mournful cries.This is not only sad for the Prime Minister, but also worrying for the country. Zhou Enlai personally delivered a eulogy for He Long.When bowing for Comrade He Long three times, the Prime Minister burst into tears and bowed three times in a row to express his deep condolences and guilt for "not protecting him well". This was the last time Zhou Enlai attended the memorial service in his lifetime. On July 1, 2010, Zhou Enlai, accompanied by Li Xiannian and Qiao Guanhua, met with Thai Prime Minister Kerry and Bhamo, and each signed the communiqué on the establishment of diplomatic relations between China and Thailand on behalf of their countries. At that time, we escorts all knew that such opportunities were running out, and murmured that we wanted to take a photo with the Prime Minister while the photographer was still there.Our murmurs were heard by the prime minister, who smiled and said, "Okay, let's all take a picture together." Xiao Gao and the others went out to stop the photographer. The photographer chose a spot on one side of the hall, and all the people present participated. Li Xiannian and Qiao Guanhua also stood in the first row. After finishing the clothes, it was the gray tunic suit he used to wear in summer. Two nurses helped the Prime Minister to the hall and stood in the center of the front row.People who know about the prime minister's illness have mixed feelings, and it's hard to tell whether it's joy or sorrow? The photographer carefully adjusted the focus and aperture, and clicked the shutter several times.When the filming was over, the Prime Minister suddenly looked at us and smiled, and said, "You can take pictures, but don't draw XX on my face in the future." In one sentence, we all lost our smiles, and our hearts were extremely heavy.The Prime Minister is not without worries about the future of the party and the country, and the attitude of each of us in the political storm.Because one of the "masterpieces" of the "Cultural Revolution" is to knock down someone, you must clean up all the text and photo materials you keep, and put an "X" on the name and photo of the downed person to show that you "draw a clear line" , to express a political attitude in order to seek self-security. The photo taken on March 1 was the last time the Prime Minister took a group photo with others during his lifetime. From May to September, we were also able to help the Prime Minister out of his hospital bed for short walks.This time is also the time when he talks to us. One day in June, the second day after he attended the Politburo meeting convened by Mao Zedong for the last time, he suddenly asked the medical staff around him while walking: "You tell the truth, how long can I last?" Everyone was startled, speechless. The prime minister turned his eyes away and looked up at the sky, as if he was facing up to the god of death in the dark, or looking for the spirit of Marx in the sky.He suddenly smiled frankly: "There is such a day in the laws of life. Communists must be materialistic!" "How do you say it?" Tears welled up in the doctor's eyes, "Prime Minister, what do you tell us to say..." Zhou Enlai still kept a calm smile, nodded, and said softly, "I'm sorry, don't say it." That night, he and a responsible comrade worked together all night. At dawn, he wore pajamas and continued to review documents... After a period of time, he talked to each of our staff separately, pointing out each person's strengths and weaknesses.When it comes to advantages, it is more enthusiastic and emotional than ever before; when it comes to disadvantages, it is more straightforward, straightforward, and clear than ever. During Zhou Enlai's lifetime, he never directly promoted the staff around him.It can be said that no one is a senior leading cadre.Some are now senior leading cadres, and they were promoted through organizational assessment after his death. The Prime Minister paid special attention to requiring those professional and technical personnel not to leave their professions.Dr. Bian once served as the director of the outpatient department in Zhongnanhai. When he was promoted to the vice president of the 305 Hospital in 1969, the Prime Minister said: "A doctor is a doctor. What do you do when you are an official?" Dr. Bian said: "I don't even know, it's decided by the leader. I'll talk to the leader." Zhou Enlai waved his hand and said: "Forget it, forget it, since it's decided, don't talk about it." Now, when he realized that his condition was very serious, he once again took care of the experts who participated in the work of the medical team: "No matter what or how many positions you hold concurrently in the future, you must not leave and lose your own business." It is precisely after listening to the Prime Minister's explanation that the two brothers Wu Jieping and Wu Weiran who are in charge of the medical team are now in their 70s and are responsible for certain leadership tasks. Still refusing to leave the operating table.Gastrointestinal expert Chen Minzhang asked him to be the head of the Ministry of Health, but he repeatedly declined, saying that the Prime Minister had confessed.After the organization confirms taking office, it still does not leave the business.Vice President Fang of the Capital Hospital and Wu Decheng, an expert in urology, also followed the Prime Minister's instructions. After September 7, 2010, the prime minister's condition took a sharp turn for the worse.Due to the consumption of the malignant tumor, his weight dropped from 130 jin to only a few dozen jin, completely skinny.After the middle ten days, he didn't even have the strength to walk with support. On April 20, doctors had to perform another major operation on him. Before the operation, Zhou Enlai realized that he would die soon and might not be able to get off the operating table.He wanted to come and review the transcript of his special report on the so-called "Wu Hao Apostle" that he made at the Central Committee's Criticism and Rectification Conference in June 2009 on the so-called "Wu Hao Apostle" that was slanderously published by the Kuomintang. As a professional revolutionary, Zhou Enlai used many aliases in his career full of wind and rain: Wu Hao, Fei Fei, Xiang Yu, Guan Sheng, Zhou Shaoshan, Hu Bicheng and so on.Among them, "Wu Hao" is the most famous. That was the pseudonym Zhou Enlai took at Nankai School in Tianjin. At that time, the leading members of the Juewu Club wrote articles under their pen names. Everyone compiled a total of 50 numbers, and the number was decided by lottery.Deng Yingchao picked up No. 1 and took the pseudonym "Yu Hao"; Zhou Enlai picked up No. 5 and went under the pseudonym "Wu Hao". Knowing Zhou Enlai's alias, the Kuomintang used the "Shenzhen" with a large circulation to publish a "Notice of Wu Hao and others' declaring to leave the Communist Party" in the 1930s, so as to spread rumors and slander the Communist Party and create chaos for the Communist Party.Zhou Enlai quickly used another pseudonym, Zhou Shaoshan, to publish an announcement in Shenbao to expose and clarify the rumor. In fact, the "Notice of Wu Hao and Others Leaving the Communist Party" was published on February 27, 1932, and Zhou Enlai left Shanghai to enter the Soviet area as early as 1931. It can be said that there is no need to refute it, and it is known that the Kuomintang is spreading rumors.However, during the "Cultural Revolution", Lin Biao and Jiang Qing's minions still brought up this matter to make a fuss, trying to attack Zhou Enlai. Zhou Enlai made a written report to Chairman Mao of the Party Central Committee on May 19, 1967, clarifying the facts. On January 16, 1968, Mao Zedong made a clear statement: This matter has long been clarified, and it was the Kuomintang who spread rumors and slandered it. Zhou Enlai, who was cautious all his life, cherished his reputation more than his life, in order not to give opportunities to those with ulterior motives, on June 23, 1972, he discussed the issue of "Wu Hao's notice" at the report meeting for criticizing Lin and rectifying wind convened by the Central Committee. I made a special report, and now on the eve of the operation, I transferred the audio recording of this report. After reviewing it, I signed my name—Zhou Enlai—with trembling hands.And mark: "Before entering the operating room (before) 1975, September, 20". This is the last of Zhou Silai's countless signatures in his life. In Chinese traditional culture, no matter what your beliefs are, as long as you persist and do not betray, you have something to respect. Otherwise, you will be despised by others. Zhou Enlai's extraordinary emphasis on the "Wu Hao Announcement" cannot but be said to have such considerations. There are also his various considerations and worries about what will happen after his death.As he was wheeled into the operating room, he was more agitated, even impulsive than he had been before.He loudly said to all the people walking on both sides of the operation cart: "I am loyal to the party and the people! I am not a capitulator!" During this operation, the doctor discovered that the cancer on his body had spread throughout his body and was beyond cure.Deng Xiaoping instructed the medical team to "reduce suffering and prolong life". In late March, in order to "prolong life", the doctor performed another operation on Zhou Enlai.Before entering the operating room, Zhou Enlai, who was lying on the operating cart, asked, "Is Deng Xiaoping here?" Deng Xiaoping hurriedly approached the trolley and stretched out his hand.Zhou Enlai held Deng Xiaoping's hand and said: "You have done a good job this year, much better than me..." After this operation, Zhou Enlai never got up from the hospital bed. Gao Zhenpu and I accompanied the Prime Minister, we were too busy with some things, so we decided to add Qiao Jinwang.Qiao Jinwang is also an old comrade. He joined the army in 2010 and worked as a bodyguard for Zhu De, Zhang Wentian, and Peng Dehuai. This time when we meet again after a long absence, the Prime Minister has completely changed his appearance.He saw the change in Qiao Jinwang's eyes, and the first sentence he said was: "Old Qiao, the 'Cultural Revolution' exhausted me!" Since the "Cultural Revolution" was launched by Chairman Mao, the Premier never said "no". Only this time, I felt that the Premier let out some of his depressed thoughts and emotions.His tone was low and resentful, and I saw Qiao Jinwang's eyes turn red, and tears almost splashed out.He choked his throat and cried out: "Prime Minister..." Zhou Enlai said sadly: "In the future, you should stop calling me 'Prime Minister'. I can no longer work for the country and the people as I lie here. I feel uncomfortable hearing you call me Premier Prime Minister... I can't do anything anymore. Call the Prime Minister." After that, we had trouble with the name.Later, the eldest sister's secretary, Zhao Wei, came to see the Prime Minister, but she didn't know what to call her, so she asked Sister Deng anxiously.Sister Deng said: "Then you can call the Prime Minister again, but don't cry." This reminds me of a story about the "prime minister", because both at home and abroad love to compare the prime minister to the prime minister. It was September 30, 1972. At the National Day reception, Premier Zhou toasted one by one, and unexpectedly came to Liu Wenhui's table. Liu Wenhui was a well-known warlord in Sichuan in history. On the eve of liberation, he responded to the call of the Communist Party and the People's Liberation Army to abandon the dark and turn to the bright.After the liberation of the whole country, at the suggestion of Premier Zhou, he successively served as the vice chairman of the Sichuan Provincial Political Consultative Conference, the vice chairman of the Southwest Military and Political Committee, the minister of the Central Forestry Department and the member of the National Defense Commission. Zhou Silai looked at Liu Wenhui with a smile, toasted and said, "General Liu, old friend, cheers!" Liu Wenhui hurriedly stood up to raise his glass, and solemnly said with reverence: "Prime Minister, Guo Ziyi has been the prime minister for the longest time in history. He has been in office for 24 years. I hope the Prime Minister will take care of himself and surpass Guo Ziyi!" The Prime Minister looked up and laughed, clinked glasses with Liu Wenhui, and drank it down.How did Liu Wenhui know that the Prime Minister was already suffering from cancer. On January 13, 1975, the Prime Minister attended the Fourth National People's Congress due to illness. At the meeting, he learned that Liu Wenhui was also suffering from cancer. He immediately instructed the hospital to give full treatment and report his illness to him at any time. Later, the Prime Minister died before Liu Wenhui.When Liu Wenhui heard the news of the death of the Prime Minister, he burst into tears. With the support of his family, he went to the mourning hall to bid farewell to the Prime Minister. It took more than 26 years from Zhou Silai's tenure as Premier of the State Council to the time when he forbade us to call him Premier.He is the one who served as the "Prime Minister" for the longest time in Chinese history surpassing Guo Ziyi. He is bound to last forever in this world. After October of the year, Zhou Silai's condition continued to deteriorate.He was bedridden all day, tortured by severe cancer pain.Sometimes I gritted my teeth in pain and sweated profusely; sometimes I shuddered in pain and frowned.But he still refused to snort. He is afraid of making us anxious.When illness and wards made it impossible for him to take care of the world, his attention turned to the people and things around him. "Prime Minister, why don't you get an injection?" We persuaded with tears in our eyes. Zhou Enlai understood that Du Lengding couldn't fight all the time.The corner of his mouth curled up, trying to make a smile.He said softly: "Play, play the episode 'Honghu Lake, the waves beat the waves'..." We have the tape of "Honghu Water, Waves Beating the Waves", and we are busy playing the recording. The tune of "Honghu water, waves beating waves" softly filled the room. Zhou Enlai stared indifferently at a certain point on the ceiling, quietly listening to the beautiful lyrical tune sung by "Han Ying".There are sparks in his eyes from time to time, as if he saw the Honghu Lake full of blue waves, saw his comrade-in-arms He Long, and recalled the military career of gold and iron horses, swallowing thousands of miles like a tiger... But, his The circles of his eyes suddenly became moist, and he lowered his eyelids slightly, slapping the knots with his hands, in tune with the melodious melody... He must be silently expressing some complex emotions of his own.The prime minister loved listening to this song in the past. Not long after the film was released, at the ball in Zhongnanhai, "Han Ying" was specially invited to the ball and sang.Now that my life is dying, I will come to the tape of this song after participating in the ashes interment ceremony of Comrade He Long.Before his death, this song was the most listened to. He "did not protect He Long well".I feel sad and blame myself for this, so I miss this comrade-in-arms even more and love to listen to this song. When Zhou Enlai was seriously ill, he hoped to listen to the masterpieces of cultural and artistic performances that had been preserved for a long time.We did our best.These works were sealed in the radio station, and we asked Comrade Dongfang, the deputy chief of staff of the Central Security Bureau, to unseal them, recorded twenty or thirty tapes, and brought them back for Zhou Enlai to play.I remember there are arias by Peking opera masters such as Mei Lanfang and Cheng Yanqiu, there are Yue opera by Yuan Xuefen and cross talk by Hou Baolin, Ma Ji and others. Once, Zhou Silai was tormented by the pain of cancer so that his whole body trembled and he kept sweating.We wiped his sweat for him, and our hearts ached like being torn apart.We were also "wisdom in a hurry", and an idea came up, and we suggested to the Prime Minister in a low voice: "Prime Minister, shall we invite Hou Baolin?" Zhou Enlai endured the pain and looked at us puzzled. "Let him chat with you. He has a lot of vocabulary and can make a fool of himself. He can give it to you and make you laugh." Although Zhou Silai, who was in pain, did not see Hou Baolin, he laughed out loud.It probably reminds me of that "respect" And ridicule, perhaps to laugh at our whims? Anyway, he was smiling! However, the laughter was fleeting.Zhou Enlai panted slightly, and said with difficulty: "No, no, why bother him? Don't bother him..." Zhou Enlai refused to bother Hou Baolin for himself, but he cared and missed the friends he had made extensively in the literary and art circles all the time. It was the Peking opera actress Yang Qiuling who was performing a modern play at the People's Theater not long after she was liberated.Zhou Enlai had known her since she graduated from Yang Qiuling Theater School, and somehow found out that she had been liberated.One day, he told me in a small voice: "Yang and Yang Qiuling have come out. You guys, contact the radio station, help me, help me record a clip, I want to see..." We contacted immediately, but the troupe said that they needed to ask their superiors for instructions.When we contacted again, they replied that it was not possible, and they said that Yang Qiuling was going to perform in Xi'an.Comrade Dongfang is still directly in charge of this matter. He proposed to go with the theater troupe and record in Xi'an.Dongfang really did his best for the prime minister. He went to Xi'an, and the TV station also went to the people. He made all the preparations, but the result was still not recorded.This was directly related to the person in charge of the Ministry of Culture at that time, which really pissed us off. The prime minister of a country, who has worked hard for 26 years, is about to die. He has to watch a video of the performance, but he can't get it in the end! I sadly reported to the Prime Minister: "Prime Minister, the TV station recorded it, yes, but they said that there were difficulties, that it was not easy to record..." Zhou Enlai was neither surprised nor angry, as if he had been prepared for this kind of thought long ago.He lay quietly on the hospital bed, staring at the roof, as if there was a stage there, and Yang Qiuling was dancing and singing, and he watched intently... After the prime minister was bedridden, it was no longer possible to fully and systematically consider state affairs.But just like broken jade, bits and pieces are still jade.He often thinks of some fragments of things and asks us.For example, "Who is responsible for the work of the National Defense Science and Technology Commission?" "Who is responsible for the chairman's security now? Is it Wang Dongxing?" "Where does the chairman live now?" "Is the swimming pool where he lives has a side door sealed?"" Is the back door of Fengze Garden closed?" "You call Ji Dengkui, I want to talk to him about something." After the Prime Minister was bedridden, Ye Jianying basically came every day.Especially before and after dealing with major issues, they must come to ask for instructions and report. He kept in touch with Dr. Wu day and night, and repeatedly instructed: "If you can find a way, extend it by one day, even if it is an extra hour and one minute, as long as possible, you must make every effort and responsibility in the medical field!" The Prime Minister also understood the significance of his extra day of life. I still remember the scene of him fighting the disease tenaciously and swallowing food with difficulty.He is the "big steward" of the country and the people. He is used to worrying about others, and he always speaks to others in a persuasive and encouraging tone, so when he talks about himself, he seems to be persuading others: "Come on, let's eat a few more bites. Let's count." He swallowed hard, and muttered: "One!" He swallowed again: "Two!"... "Three!"... Counting and eating like this, on December 13, the Prime Minister finally counted two numbers , swallowed two mouthfuls of food, and has been unable to eat since then. By this time, the Prime Minister had performed 13 surgeries. "13" is regarded as a bad number in the West. Zhou Enlai once cleverly interpreted "13" to Americans.It was President Nixon's visit to China. When he arrived in Shanghai, he stayed at the Jin Jiang Hotel. The Nixons were arranged on the 15th floor, Kissinger was on the 14th floor, and Secretary of State Rogers and other officials lived on the 13th floor. The Prime Minister went to visit Rogers and his assistants. When the elevator turned on the red light at "13", he suddenly thought that 13 is the most taboo for Westerners.Sure enough, when he walked into Rogers' suite, he found that these American officials were angry about "13", and they laughed unnaturally when chatting with Zhou Enlai, and the room was haunted. After the Prime Minister talked about the visit of the American table tennis team, he changed the subject and said: "There is one thing that we are sorry for neglecting. We did not think of the taboo of '13' in Western customs. However, when you come to the East, we in China have a A fable, when a person is afraid of ghosts, the more he thinks about them, the more frightening he becomes. When he is no longer afraid of ghosts, he visits everywhere to look for ghosts, and the ghosts will disappear... The '13' in the West is like the ghosts in China." The Americans all laughed, and their uneasiness and anger disappeared immediately. However, the Prime Minister coincidentally said that "13 is a bad number" this time. He couldn't eat by himself, and Dr. Chen prepared high-calorie, high-nutrient liquid food and poured it into his stomach.He was not only bedridden, but also unable to sit up. Seven or eight tubes were inserted in the lower part of his body for infusion, blood transfusion, and drainage.The bladder and other parts of his lower body were completely rotten, but his mind was still clear.Xiao Gao and I took turns reading some international briefings, domestic developments and reference materials to him every day.Also let him listen to the radio. Ye Shuai still came every day.When the Prime Minister was just lying in bed, he often talked with the Prime Minister for 3 hours. After menstruation, the conversation was reduced to 2 hours. By December, the prime minister was running a high fever and the conversation was getting harder.I remember that on December 20, he asked Luo Qingchang to talk about work with Taiwan, and asked about the situation of his old friends in Taiwan. He passed out after a short talk. It was still Ye Jianying who came every day.Day after day, Zhou Enlai's voice became weaker and weaker. Ye Jianying sat closer and closer to Zhou Enlai, and the conversation time became shorter and shorter, and she couldn't last even an hour. Finally, Zhou Enlai could hardly speak anymore.At this time, Ye Jianying still insisted on coming every day. When she came, she sat down close to Zhou Enlai and gently held Zhou Enlai's hand. Unable to speak, just looking and looking, looking and looking... That kind of scene, that friendship, even your hard-hearted heart can't stand it, you have to hide outside the door and cry bitterly. I still remember the scene of their last conversation, Ye Shuai told us all to quit, no matter whether it was delivering water or medicine, we were not allowed to enter without ringing the bell. Outside the door, we could occasionally hear Ye Jianying’s voice. In fact, it was mainly him who was speaking. It was very difficult for Zhou Enlai to say a word.In Ye Shuai's voice, I could clearly hear words such as "Deng Xiaoping", "central government" and "army". After Ye Shuai came out of the ward, he called Xiao Gao and me to his side, and said in a very soft voice, "Both of you have paper and pens ready, and you can stay by the Prime Minister's side 24 hours a day. You can't be without someone for a moment. The Prime Minister is very principled. , Many things, many thoughts and grievances are stuffy in your heart, especially for some people in the central government, if you have something to vent at the last moment, you must write it down..." It seems that Ye Shuai's conversation with the Prime Minister failed to convince the Prime Minister to leave his attitude and opinions on certain major issues.It is impossible for him to guard the prime minister every day. Gao Zhenpu, Qiao Jinwang and I guard the prime minister in turn.However, the Prime Minister has a strong sense of organizational discipline.Sister Deng also came to visit every day, and they looked at each other for a long time. The prime minister said: "I still have a lot of things in my stomach that I haven't said." Deng Yingchao nodded and said, "I also have a lot of things in my stomach that I haven't said." This scene left a deep impression on me. Seven years later, Deng Yingchao wrote an article about this incident, expressing that she would "bury in her heart forever" what she hadn't said, just like Zhou Enlai. This is indeed the case. Xiao Gao and I have one person standing by the Prime Minister's side at all times, ready to grab a pen and record every moment. However, Zhou Enlai kept his mouth shut and stopped talking about political reality in the last few days. . After his death, Xiao Gao and I handed over the snow-white paper to Ye Shuai.Ye Shuai cried when he got this piece of white paper that was not stained by ink and no sound was better than sound.He murmured: "He has always taken care of the overall situation all his life..." In his last days, Zhou Enlai not only made the last and most important "political last words", that is, proposed at the Fourth National People's Congress to realize the initial realization of the four modernizations by the end of this century, but also had the last group photo, the last meeting with foreign guests, and the last participation in Chairman Mao Politburo meetings, etc., and some final "demands and hopes". At the beginning of the month, it was very difficult for the Prime Minister to eat.Every time we think of the hardships, humiliation, hard work and little enjoyment of the Prime Minister in his life, we feel very uncomfortable.Almost every day we have to ask several times: "Prime Minister, just say what you want to eat." He always shakes his head. One day, the Prime Minister suddenly spoke, as if he was talking to himself, but also as if he was telling us: "It would be great if I could eat peaches." At that moment, my heart suddenly trembled, and the past immediately came to my mind.After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, in order to fight for peace, I traveled between Yan'an and Chongqing with Zhou Enlai.At that time, Chairman Mao had just published an article saying that Chiang Kai-shek hid on Mount Emei during the eight years of the Anti-Japanese War. Now that the Anti-Japanese War has been won, he will go down the mountain to pick peaches.When Zhou Enlai explained the situation and this article to the guards and soldiers, he once said: "Peaches are the fruit of revolution, the fruit of victory. This is the best metaphor." After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the Prime Minister worked day and night. He "planted trees" all his life, but refused to enjoy the "fruits". He only proposed to eat a peach when his life was about to end. How can we not satisfy his old man's wish? However, it is deep winter, where can I find peaches?At that time, there were not the conditions and strength to keep fresh as it is now.Several of our accompanying comrades discussed it, and we all thought of canned food, and immediately went to buy two cans.There are two peaches in each slip, cut into four pieces. "Prime Minister, there are no fresh peaches, we bought canned peaches." Everyone reported apologetically. The Prime Minister looked at the canned peaches, with a slight smile on his face, and said weakly, "Okay, very good." We fed the Prime Minister canned peaches.He ate slowly as usual, chewing and swallowing little by little.After finally eating one petal, I want to stop.I whispered, "Prime Minister, can you eat a whole fruit? As you said, peaches are the fruit of revolution, the fruit of victory." There was a smile on the corner of the prime minister's mouth, and he said slowly: "You still remember. Okay, let's eat a whole." As hard as he could, he ate another canned peach, which happened to be a whole fruit. When I wiped the Prime Minister's mouth, I was both relieved and sad.I am gratified that the Prime Minister finally enjoyed the "fruit" of victory at last, and he is so sad that he "worry about the world's worries first, and enjoy the world's joy later". He enjoyed it too late. After it was canned, he enjoyed the last sip... But the Prime Minister also said to us: "Thank you, thank you." Two days later, the Prime Minister asked again: "Is there any Lu'an Guapian tea? I want to drink some Lu'an Guapian tea." This time I don't understand why?Comrades Xiao Gao and Qiao Jinwang also didn't understand that this kind of tea was not a famous tea, and it didn't have any allusions. How could the Prime Minister think of drinking this kind of tea? But we still followed the Prime Minister’s wish and bought Lu’an Guapian Tea for him. Although the quality was not good, we finally satisfied his old man’s wish and brewed a cup for him not too strong or too weak. The prime minister is not drinking tea, but tasting tea.He took a sip and savored it carefully; he took small sips and smacked his lips from time to time. His face was full of affection and thoughts, and his eyes blinked, flashing and flashing, as if he saw someone he was missing. A cup of tea was finally finished.We all asked solemnly, "Prime Minister, what are you thinking?" "I think of Ye Ting." The Prime Minister didn't look at us, as if he was still looking at the person he was missing. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid of waking up a sweet dream: "Not long after the start of the War of Resistance, when General Ye Ting was appointed as the commander of the New Fourth Army, he sent I have a big tube of Lu'an Guapian tea..." Within a few days after this, the Prime Minister was unable to eat by himself. 快过元旦了。望着总理头发蓬乱、胡须满脸的憔悴样子，我们悄悄商量。As the saying goes: “有钱没钱剃头过年”。总理一生像珍惜生命一样珍惜他那代表了中国人民精神面貌的仪容，怎么也得为他老人家理个发，修修面再过新年啊！恰好北京饭店朱师傅也第三次捎信来，坚持要在新年前为总理理个发。 号这天，当总理从昏迷中醒来时，我们附耳小声劝说：“总理，要过新年了。朱师傅已经几次捎信来，就让他给你理个发吧？” 他用沉思的目光望着我们，良久，嘴唇开始微微翕动。他实在难以说出声音了，静得落根针也可以听到的病房里，我们仍需把耳朵贴近他唇际才能听清：“不，不要了。 我这个样子……不好再见人。老朱，他，他看到我这个样子，会、会难过……” 我们蓦地扭转脸，泪水又夺眶而出。 我们天天守在总理身边，对变化感觉还不是很强烈，如今听他一说，立刻想到他不久前还英武潇洒的神姿和风度翩翩的举止。可是，一觉醒来，他已是须发灰白蓬长，面容瘦弱憔悴，整个身体都抽缩了。他眼窝深陷，皮肤松弛灰黄……他再也不照镜子了，我们也不叫他看到自己的脸。 朱德、小平、先念等中央首长都曾多次来看望周思来。当时中央规定，只有政治局委员以上的领导才能来看望。但是，许多曾在总理身边工作过的同志都一再要求，非见总理一面不可。邓大姐后来同意了。但要求只许大家见总理，不能让总理看见大家。这也许违背周恩来不让别人分担痛苦的考虑？这些工作人员被安排在周恩来昏迷之时来见一见，严格规定不许哭。 可是，怎么可能呢？这些工作人员被领进来，都是由我们带到床尾立住脚远远望一眼。这一眼他们就全惊呆了，他们所熟悉的总理突然之间不见了！我看到没有一人能例外，都是全身一震，便猛地用手捂住了嘴，泪水顿时进射而出！有几位女同志踉踉跄跄，是被我们搀扶出去的。打击和刺激太大了，没出大厅就全哭倒在地。无论怎样批评、劝说，甚至呵斥都无法阻止。唉，且不说她们只是未经过大磨难的女同志，难以承受，就是身经百战，历遭磨难的李先念同志，出了病房也泪如泉涌，哭出声来，悲不能止。 老帅们也都来看望了周恩来，都是在周恩来昏迷之际，立在床尾默默地望着，像雕像一般，大颗大颗的泪珠溢出眼堤，在睫毛上颤动，接着扑簌簌滚下来，落地有声！ 年元旦，毛泽东的《重上井冈山》、《鸟儿问答》两首诗发表后，周恩来从昏迷中醒来时，恰好在广播里听到了。他让我们去买来诗词，元月2号我们又为他读这两首诗词。读到“不须放屁，试看天地翻覆”时，他嘴角绽出几丝笑纹，甚至可以听到隐隐的笑声和讷讷声：“中国出了个毛泽东……” 这是我见到的总理的最后一次笑。 这次笑很短暂，膀胱癌和肠癌的剧痛很快又使他抿紧了双唇。我们收起诗词。他虽然痛得额上沁汗珠，仍然坚持着示意，让我们将诗词放在枕边。 后来，他又看过几遍这两首诗词，也叫我们念过。他去世时，这两首诗的小薄册就压在他枕头下。这是周恩来一生中最后看到听到的两首诗词。 都说癌痛是超过任何肉刑的剧烈持久的疼痛。现实生活和文学描写中，我曾看到过许多挣扎在痛苦中的人：有的呼叫，叫声凄厉惨绝；辗转翻滚着挣扎。有的咬破牙床嚼烂舌头，一任泪水横流，顽强地不呻吟一声。有的瞪着凶野的被痛楚折磨得变了形的眼睛，号哭怒吼着乞求别人帮忙结束自己的痛苦和生命…” 周恩来不同，始终静静地躺在那里；昏迷半昏迷时，他会发出轻微的呻吟，但是清醒后，绝不发一声呻吟或流一滴泪。如果你正注视着他，那么，剧痛袭来时，他甚至不肯抽缩一下身体。他怕给别人带来痛苦的影响。 然而，剧痛袭来，完全没有反映是不可能的。有多少次我预感到有大的痛苦到来，周恩来的脸色陡然变成阴沉灰黄，转瞬间又泛出黯红，汗水一下子便冒出来，颗颗有绿豆大，颤动着凝聚汇合，接着便小河一样淌下来。他的眼光时而迷离黯淡，时而闪烁逼人，回避开周围的同志，在空中、在天花板上逡巡搜求什么。在一次次的屏息忍耐之后，那鼻翼便颤抖着张大，嘴唇也小心翼翼尽量不引人注目地咧开一条缝，喘息几口，很快又复屏息闭气，用超人的毅力去换过那阵新的更持久的凶猛的剧痛的浪潮……他不哼不流泪，哪怕是抽缩着脸孔咧咧嘴呢？他永远不会在人前目光下有这种样子。 这就是我们的周总理。 元月3号，总理一天基本都是处在昏迷中，偶尔醒来也默默无言。 元月4号，总理从昏迷中醒来，眼睛闪了一会，忽然翕动起嘴唇。我们在场的同志马上都围拢过去。 他用细微的难以辨清的声音讷讷询问：“主席，主席身体怎么样？” “没有大的变化。”医生小声报告。 “董必武呢？” “董老还好。” “刘帅，刘帅，身体……”他突然屏住了声，瘦骨粼粼的手一下子握住了医生的手，这是下意识的动作，是剧痛袭来的原因。他在颤抖，在出汗。我们一边替他擦汗，一边劝他：“总理，你疼就叫出声吧。都是自己人，你哼一哼也会疼得轻些……” 他不叫也不哼，好不容易透过一口气，却以惊人的意志清晰地说出一声：“哎呀，你手……怎么那么凉呀？” 他好象不是痛得抓住医生的手，好象是为了试试医生的手凉不凉？唉，我们的总理，身陷如此痛苦绝境仍然要掩饰自己，仍然不愿叫别人为他的痛苦而痛苦！ 但是，他已经瞒不了我们也瞒不过自己。我们在流泪，他在战栗；整个病房都能感觉出总理体内那痛苦急骤的节奏，那冲撞交锋的波澜！ “吴、吴医生，打、给我打一针……”总理发出令人窒息的请求声。每当他再也无力掩饰剧痛时，他总是这样请求。 邓颖超每天都来看望周恩来。这次她实在看不下去了，声音颤抖地对卞医生说： “这么痛苦，太难受了，他太难受……” 邓颖超后来曾表示有条件地赞同“安乐死”，与总理逝世前所遭受的难以想象的病痛折磨对她所造成的刺激有直接关系。 卞医生含泪说：“大姐，总理太重大了，多活一天对党对国家对全体人民都有重大利益，哪怕是一分一秒都有着重大意义……” 叶帅也是这么说的。 医生替总理注射了杜冷丁。片刻，总理稍稍喘息平稳。他两眼淡漠地望着天花板，像是凝思。忽然，那眼里闪了一下亮，转向我们：“拿、拿《国际歌》，放、放一放……” 我们忙找出《国际歌》的歌片，为他播放。当那磅礴的旋律盈满一室时，总理的嘴唇分明在翕动，在吟唱！ 这是总理生前最后一次听歌，最后一次唱歌。这支歌是《国际歌》。 连放三遍，总理对守在身边的邓颖超说：“我坚信全世界共产主义一定能实现。团结起来到明天，英特纳雄耐尔就一定要实现。” 他讲这个话的声音很细微，给我的震动却很大。他已近弥留阶段，最后唱这支歌，显示了真正不移的信仰。人生尽可信仰不同，能够为信仰奋斗终生，奉献一切，那么，就连他的敌人也会为他的人格肃然起敬。许多资产阶级政治家、理论家、学者，就是由于这个原因，在周恩来死后，也对他表示了极大的哀悼和敬意！ 年1月5日至7日，周恩来基本处于弥留之际；他多数时间昏迷，偶尔睁开失神的眼睛也没说什么事情，仿佛已经停止了思维。我和小高也停止为他读报读文件。 日那天，在我值班的24小时中，病室里一直很宁静，除了定时为总理做例行的维持生命的医疗，没有其他大事。当陈医生按时将配制好的高营养高热量的流质食物输入他胃中时，我静静地在一旁看。我的泪早已流尽。病房里很清洁，四周围是那么静，那么静……晚11时，周恩来忽然睁开了眼。这种睁开眼的时间越来越少，每次睁眼的间隔时间越来越长。他凝视着，竭力聚集涣散的眼神。我们都贴近过去。 终于，总理眼里进出一星火花。这是我最后一次看到他目光闪烁。 他认出了我们之中的吴阶平医生。 “我这里，没什么事了……”总理缓缓地，声若游丝地说：“我，一个人，你们……管全局，还是去照顾，别的生病的同志，那里，更需要你们……” 总理又昏迷过去。这是他一生讲出的最后一句话。 月8日晨，早8点，小高像往常那样准时来接班。 做了简单的交接，我准备离开了。在门口，我像每天那样回头再望一眼我一生为之服务的总理。 他仍在昏睡。唉，他这一生睡得太少太少了！特别是近10年中，天下大乱，他平均每天睡不到3小时。什么叫全心全意？什么叫呕心沥血？什么叫不知疲倦？什么叫鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已？在总理身边一站你就全明白了……我早已哭干的双眼忽然又潮湿起来，缓缓扭转头，轻轻掩上门，慢慢朝楼上休息室爬去。 躺下不到l小时，似睡非睡之际，楼道里一阵急促的脚步声传来，来得匆促慌迫，我的心本能地一阵抽缩颤栗，立刻清醒了。我想跳下地，想喊，可是被一种不祥的预感紧紧握住了，一时竟动弹不得。 “卫士长，卫士长！”小高旋风似地卷进来，脸色煞白，紧张使他把两肘紧夹在肋旁，声音完全变了调：“快，总理、总理不好……不好了！” 我像被抽了一鞭，从瘫软中一跃而起，提着裤子就往下跑；心脏忽尔抽缩凝固，忽尔膨胀滚翻；脑子忽尔一片空白，忽尔万念跃动，就这么一口气冲进了周恩来的病房。 医疗组的全体人员都集中来了，整个房间一片混乱，紧急枪救已经开始。屏风移开了，活动床头也卸掉……“怎么了？怎么样？”我失去了主张，小声讷讷着，瞪大受惊而失神的眼睛望望这个，又看看那个。没有人理睬我，个个拧紧了眉头；我也插不上手，不知能干什么，废物似地僵了半天，上下颚骨呷呷地抖颤不止。 片刻，我冷静一些，心神回归，看清病床旁只有几名专家，其余20来个专家医生已经稍稍后撤，环绕四周默立。我想起生命的标志，忙凑到示波器那里去看心电图。 还在跳！我的心刚一热，马上又凉：怎么不跳了？随即又热起希望：又跳一下！ ……How is this going?往常的心电图不是这样。我惊疑地看医生们的眼色，又看看屏幕上那条“脉搏”；我看到有人开始悄悄摇头，看到那“脉搏”越来越弱，越来越缓……“总理，总理！”张医生一直摸着总理的脉搏，连连呼喊着。那一瞬间，我简直怀疑自己的眼睛了。用力凝视，没错，总理竞睁开了眼！ “总理，”张医生喊叫着说：“让谢荣给你插个管子，把痰吸出来行不行？” 张医生的大喊大叫，奇迹般从总理的神经里唤来了反应，他真微微点了一下头。 可是，马上又闭上了眼。当北京医院麻醉科主任谢荣准备插管吸痰，加压给氧时，心电图忽然嘟嘟，化作了一缕不再起伏的游烟……“总理！”我受了巨大的紧张恐惧所驱迫，离开示波器，冲到周恩来的床边，一把抓住他的手，好象在抓着一个最伟大美好的生命，怕被别人夺走。我要尽自己一切力量拖回这个生命。 “总理，总理！”我叫着，手掌却鲜明地感觉到他的手指凉硬了，那么快，那么突然。我慌极了，摸着，抚着，想把那手指温暖回来，却发现总理的整个手掌都在刹那间变凉变僵，并且退潮一样迅速凉到了胳膊。我急红了眼，仰起头，恶狠狠瞪着医生吼： “怎么了？大夫！大夫！快呀、快!总理的手凉了！……” 我一边吼，一边匆匆地追踪总理的温暖。我的手已经追到总理的肩胛，我绝望地叫了一声：“张大夫，凉到肩上了！你快点呀……” 张佐良沉重地摇摇头，发出一声凄凉的叹息：“不行了……” 我痴痴地睁大着眼睛，晕了；一切都像梦中，一切都浸入一种幽蓝的朦胧中，一切都在飘浮颤动。我听到陈医生那极轻微又极宏大，极遥远又极近切的声音： “35、36……48、49……停止！” 四周围陡地静下来，世界彻底哑了一般！ 我从来不曾遇过这种场面，茫然回顾：“什么？什么停止？……”这声音只有我自己能听到，我的嘴早已不会说话了。 蓦地，我看清一圈脱帽肃立的人，一圈低垂的头。 “停止、停止……”我的眼前模糊了。什么东西溢满了眼眶，丝线一样从眼角挂下来，连绵不断。当我喘过一口气时，便鲜明地感觉到，股巨大的锥心般的痛楚冲撞而起，迅速发散到全身。“总理——！” 我放声大哭，病房里所有的人都放开了悲声。 年1月8日9时57分，我们从心底热爱的总理离开了我们。 邓颖超在秘书赵炜陪护下已经赶到，汪东兴也赶来了。邓大姐在流泪，却克制自己没有哭出声。她的坚定刚毅使我没有被哀痛压垮，很快又投入了周总理的治丧工作。 我给北京饭店的朱师傅挂了电话。 朱师傅对总理感情极深。建国后，周恩来一直是到北京饭店理发、刮脸，很少麻烦朱师傅到家里来。他愿意在饭店里走动走动，和同志们见见面，聊聊天。不只是见见饭店的各级领导，还有各方面的服务员，都要走动着见见面，打招呼聊天。饭店里所有的同志都与总理有一种特殊感情，所以“文化大革命”中，全国大乱，唯独北京饭店没怎么乱。饭店里的老职工们，至今提起周总理，没有不掉泪的。 饭店里是由朱师傅和小关负责给总理理发刮脸。这次整容，又把他们俩请来了。加上北京医院的韩医生，一共三个人。 三位同志哭了一路。见到总理时，再也压抑不住，一起大放悲声，哭得天昏地暗，谁听了都受不了。特别是朱师傅，哭坏了，感情太深，受刺激太大，从那以后身体全垮了，不大能上班了。他要办退休手续，饭店里舍不得，没同意，说他手艺高，为中央首长服务一辈子，是功臣，让他一礼拜来饭店走一趟，指导指导年轻人。 总理逝世当天，邓颖超即向中央提出三条要求：不搞遗体告别，不开追悼会，不保留骨灰。 李先念一听这三条要求，急了，含着泪说：“不行，不能从总理这儿开这个头，全国人民决不答应的。” “先念同志的意见对。”邓小平说，“人民不答应，遗体告别和追悼大会要搞，否则没法向全国人民交待。” 绝大多数中央领导同志都不同意邓大姐的要求。邓大姐说，这三条是她和总理生前约定好的，她要对总理负责。中央领导们都坚持说，他们要对人民负责，有的领导同志还提议：“骨灰可以撤到全国土地上，但也应保留一部分，放在八宝山。” 邓颖超坚决地说：“一点也不保留，我和恩来同志早已有约，他最担心我实现不了他这个要求。我们谁也不留骨灰，不能留！” 这一点我是清楚的。那是1975年9月，总理最终卧床不起的前夕，总理曾对大姐的秘书赵炜讲起他死后骨灰的处理问题。赵炜声音都打颤了：“总理，您不要谈这个事，不要，您不会，不会的……这么早谈这种事对您治病没好处。” “你不是彻底的唯物主义者，人总是要死的，这有什么？”总理批评赵炜，然后坦然说：“我和大姐在10年前就约好了，死后不保留骨灰。但我想，如果我先死了，大姐不一定能保证得了我的骨灰全撤掉，这得由中央决定。不过大姐可以反映我的要求。如果大姐死在我前面，我是可以保证她的；我先死了，大姐的骨灰你保证不了全撤掉，但你可以反映她的要求……” 现在，中央领导和邓颖超议论后，决定互有妥协。遗体告别和追悼大会要进行，骨灰不保留。 早在1975年12月下旬，医生就向我交底，说总理病情恶化，让我们作些准备，包括逝后穿的衣服。我和高振普商量来商量去，决定还是尊重总理生前一贯的衣着作风，不再做新衣。 我们把商量结果请示邓颖超，邓大姐说：“这个决定对。就照你们商量的办。” 总理逝世后，我们拿了总理生前穿过的衬衣衬裤，法蓝绒中山式制服替他换装。这件中山装是总理在基辛格访华前夕经我们一再陈述道理才做的那身衣服，也就是人们所熟悉的总理侧身坐在单人沙发椅里照的那张像片上的衣服。这件衣服已磨起毛边，负责整容的韩医生一接过去就皱起了眉头。 “还有没有新衣服？”他沉下脸问。 “没了。这是最新的一件……” “你们怎么搞的？啊！”韩医生发火了，朝我们瞪起眼睛：“为什么早没准备？不是告诉你们准备吗？” 我垂下了头，难过地说：“我跟小高商量过，尊重他一生的习惯和喜好。大姐也同意我们的选择，总理最后几年一直是穿这件衣服……” 韩医生眼里泪水盈眶，好半天才喃出一声：“如果人民怪我们呢？”