Chapter 7 cry four times
The familiar Premier Zhou Enlai is either gentle and amiable, with a radiant and bright smile on his face; or he is majestic, firm and tenacious, with steel and ice in his eyes.However, "a volcano under the heavy ice" is not all Zhou Silai.During the decades I followed him, I was deeply moved by another Zhou Enlai who was rarely seen in public.
I once saw Zhou Enlai standing under the crabapple tree in the West Flower Hall, watching the flowers with his face up; Thinking back: I have also seen Zhou Enlai pacing up and down the room restlessly, his eyes were sometimes dark, and sometimes flickered in and out of the fire amidst the sound of hurried steps, trembling and clenched because of the impact of intense emotions in his heart. Fist... His self-control ability is extremely strong, but his emotions are too rich and abundant, so there are still times when he loses self-control and allows his emotions to flow naturally; There are times when there is a natural flow.
For example, I have seen the Prime Minister burst into tears many times, sad and sad, and overwhelmed with grief.Among them, there were four times that impressed me deeply and made my heart tremble.
The first time was in July 1942, an accident happened in Hongyanzui, Chongqing City, that is, Mrs. Zhou had a sudden stroke.
Mrs. Zhou is Zhou Enlai’s father, Zhou Zhugang. According to the social customs at that time, our staff called him Mrs. Zhou, and Mrs. Deng Yingchao called him Mrs. Zhou.Because Zhou Enlai and Deng Yingchao had lived in Chongqing for a long time and were relatively stable, Zhou Enlai's father and Deng Yingchao's mother both came to Chongqing successively.
Zhou Enlai's father and Deng Yingchao's mother are respected old people with different styles and temperaments.Deng's mother mainly wears cheongsam. She is slightly taller than Deng Yingchao.Mrs. Zhou is about the same height as his son Zhou Enlai, but his temperament is old-fashioned. He often wears linen or black silk robes, and he is honest, loyal and timid.
The Southern Bureau's public activities in Chongqing are mainly Hongyanzui, Zengjiayan and Xinhua Daily.
No. 50 Zengjiayan is in the city. It is a small three-story building, which is called "Zhou Mansion" to the outside world.Zhou Enlai didn't live here much, because it was too close to the Shangqing Temple area where the head office of the Kuomintang was located, and the surrounding environment was quite complicated. No matter where you went, you had to pass a road leading to the cliff, and there was a white brick wall beside the road. The three-storey building in the old house is the residence of Dai Li, the head of the Kuomintang military reunification spy. Anyone who enters and exits the "Zhou Mansion" must be exposed in front of the spy chief.For the sake of safety, Zhou Silai lives in Hongyanzui, and only rests at No. 50 Zengjiayan when he is too late to work in the city.
Hongyanzui is the location of the Chongqing Office of the 18th Group Army. It is about 5 kilometers away from the downtown area. There is a large mountainous area. It is an orchard farm. It is a three-story building built by the staff of the Southern Bureau and the office.After Mrs. Zhou came to Chongqing, everyone saw him as honest and honest, and they were afraid that he would be tricked by Kuomintang agents when he went out, so they arranged for him to live in Hongyanzui.
There are few residents around here, so it is relatively safe.
Mrs. Zhou was originally in good health and looked good. He belonged to the kind of person who would live a peaceful life without making trouble or causing trouble.
Apart from liking to drink, I have no other hobbies and nothing to worry about.When we take care of him, we just take care of him to drink less and go out less.I didn't expect to be sick.
One day at the end of June 2010, Dong Biwu, Deng Yingchao, Qian Zhiguang and others all gathered in Zhou Enlai's room to wait for the bus.
The Southern Bureau, Xinhua News Agency, and the Chongqing Office of the 18th Group Army shared a car. It was mainly used to pick up secret guests and emergency patients. The driver Duan Tingying was a good comrade who worked hard.Today is waiting for him to drive to send Zhou Enlai to the hospital for surgery.According to the preliminary diagnosis, Zhou Enlai suffered from bladder abscess.
While waiting for the bus, everyone chatted for a while, and it was Dong Biwu who was talking.Mr. Dong spoke slowly, but very humorously.He squeezed the bus in the morning and ran into Zhang Guotao.Originally, Qian Zhiguang advised him not to take the bus, but Xiao Duan could hire a carriage if he was too busy.At that time Zhou Enlai and Dong Biwu often took carriages, and it was very convenient to hire them, even more convenient than hailing a taxi in some cities today.
Dong Biwu said: "What's the point of squeezing the bus? Look at Zhang Guotao in the Political Council, he still doesn't have a car, and he squeezes the bus with everyone? I bumped into him again today."
Deng Yingchao said: "The KMT has run out of him, and he hasn't made a name for himself."
Qian Zhiguang twitched his lips: "Being a secret agent, being a politician, not even a car."
At that time, seven comrades, including Dong Biwu and Deng Yingchao, were political councilors of the CCP. They often ran into Zhang Guotao at political meetings. Although they nodded their heads as greetings, Zhang Guotao felt shameless and was often embarrassed.
"In the Shaanxi-Gansu-Ningxia Border Region, he was asked to be a vice-chairman, but he was too small and refused to do it," Dong Biwu wiped his beard and said with a smile, "He came to Chongqing to be a director. As a director, he doesn't have a car, and hiring a horse-drawn carriage also creates economic problems. difficulty……"
"This is what happens to traitors, and it's worth the price." I interrupted at the door and heard the sound of our car, "Vice Chairman Zhou, the car is here, let's go."
Zhou Enlai was admitted to Geleshan Central Hospital.After further examination in the hospital, it was decided to undergo surgery.When the situation was reported to Yan'an, Chairman Mao Zedong sent a telegram to Dong Biwu: "Enlai must rest and rest. He should not be discharged from the hospital if he is not cured. After he is discharged from the hospital, he must work less and rest more. Please pay attention."
Of course Mr. Dong was very careful. He, Deng Yingchao, Qian Zhiguang and others took turns visiting Zhou Enlai in the hospital every day.But at this moment, Mrs. Zhou suddenly suffered a stroke. The medical technology at that time was not good enough. He was sent to the hospital but died soon after.
A difficult problem immediately faced Dong Biwu, Deng Yingchao and others: should we tell Zhou Enlai the news?If it is told that Zhou Enlai has not healed from the wound, he is a filial son and a model of the Chinese nation's tradition of respecting the elderly. Not to mention that the great grief and pain are not good for the body, he will definitely run out of the hospital for the funeral... "I don't think I can tell Zhou Gong for the time being." Dong Biwu made up his mind and said, "The year before last, he went to Shaoxing to visit his relatives. He bowed three times when he saw the patriarch, and pushed him to the top seat to perform the junior ceremony when he saw his uncle. He didn't dare to pretend to be the vice minister of the Political Department. Now that his father died, he would definitely not want to stay in the hospital. "
"Don't tell him yet, we'll take care of the funeral here first." Deng Yingchao agreed with Dong Biwu's opinion, "The weather is too hot and it's not easy to keep the corpse. Let's wait for a few days and see how Duke Zhou recovers. Then we can make a decision. "
Therefore, the news of Mrs. Zhou's death was concealed from Zhou Enlai.
However, how sharp is Zhou Silai's eyes and how meticulous is his mind?It's okay to hide it for a day, but after two days, he will detect the abnormality.At that time, I was taking care of him in the hospital. In the evening, he suddenly asked, "Why didn't Dong Biwu show up for two days?"
"Maybe you're busy?" I said vaguely, "Maybe the Southern Bureau has something to do?"
"Funny." Zhou Enlai liked to say these two words when he was dissatisfied or angry.I could feel his sharp eyes scanning my face, deliberately pretending to clean up and do something if there is nothing to do.However, Zhou Enlai stopped me: "Stop looking for trouble. Let me ask you, is something wrong at home?"
My heart skipped a beat, Zhou Enlai is so powerful, why did he guess that something happened at home all of a sudden?
"I haven't heard anything about it." I tried to calm myself, "The Southern Bureau..."
"You don't want the Southern Bureau, the Southern Bureau." Zhou Enlai was really angry. "The more trouble the Southern Bureau has, the more they run to my place. Why don't they show up? Funny!"
I was startled and choked.is not that right?The more important and urgent the matter was, Dong Biwu and the others worked more and more frequently, and even a few of them came together to ask for instructions and discuss.The organization head of the Southern Committee was arrested and rebelled, and led spies to sabotage the Guangxi Provincial Working Committee. Dong Biwu and Deng Yingchao rushed to Zhou Enlai's place immediately, and immediately discussed and decided to transfer the threatened Hunan Provincial Party Secretary Gao Wenhua back to Chongqing.If something big happened again, how could he not show up?
"Whatever they study, they won't tell me." I finally found a reason.Zhou Enlai looked at me suspiciously for the last time, waved his hand and said nothing.He obviously didn't believe what I said, but he couldn't force me anymore.Don't ask what you shouldn't know, and don't say what you shouldn't say. This is the principle and discipline he strictly follows and strictly requires us to do.
On the third day, Wu Kejian came.Whether he greeted Zhou Enlai or reported the general situation, Zhou Silai remained silent, and just looked at Wu Kejian with serious, sincere and serious eyes.No matter how powerful Wu Kejian was, he couldn't bear Zhou Enlai's gaze. He became more and more unnatural, and the muscles on his face became stiff. He didn't smile like a smile, and couldn't cry like a cry. He reluctantly asked, "What's wrong with Vice Chairman Zhou?" Instructions?" He seemed eager to slip away, the tip of his tongue licked his dry lips, and quickly added: "If there is nothing else, I will go back."
"Did something happen at home?" Zhou Enlai asked straight away.
"No, nothing..." Wu Kejian smiled stiffly, shrugged his shoulders, and spread his hands.
"If you can't speak, then don't speak." Zhou Enlai suddenly became strict.He is usually amiable and amiable, so a little sternness carries a lot of weight. "But don't tell lies! Let me ask again, is there something wrong at home?"
Wu Kejian's lips moved, but he remained silent.
In the silence, Zhou Enlai nodded, his voice softened: "That's right, you can go back."
As soon as Wu Kejian left, Zhou Enlai was about to get out of bed: "Xiao He, I will be discharged from the hospital immediately."
"Oh," I hurried up to block it, "No, the stitches were just removed, your wound hasn't healed yet..."
"Stop talking, I must go out."
I understand that no one can stop things at this point.I had no choice but to take a step back and said, "Then you have to go through the discharge procedures, and you need a car to pick you up. Vice Chairman Zhou, I'll contact you now, you lie down and rest first..."
This method prevented Zhou Enlai from leaving immediately.After going through the formalities and contacting Dong Biwu, everyone knew that there was no way to stop them. The next morning, a car came to pick Zhou Si back and forth to Hongyanzui.
When getting out of the car, Zhou Enlai felt that the atmosphere was not right, his face turned pale, and he hurried to the office without saying much.
He used to walk fast, but now the incision is not full length, such haste is worrying.I wanted to catch up with him, but he threw me away, and I ran into the office like a trot.
Deng Yingchao heard the noise and was about to come out. Zhou Silai had already stepped into the office first. He saw the black veil on Deng Yingchao's arm and stopped suddenly, as if a deep abyss suddenly appeared in front of him. The bottom of the dark abyss.
The moment of astonishment and the heavy silence left a deep impression on me.Zhou Enlai's originally energetic eyes under his thick black eyebrows suddenly became idiotic and stiff, staring straight at Deng Yingchao, frozen.It seemed like a long time, and it seemed that it only took two or three seconds. When Deng Yingchao had an apologetic and sad expression on his face and wanted to say something, Zhou Enlai took a sharp breath, as if awakened from a nightmare, his eyes suddenly trembled with fear Yes, his lips twitched, his eyelashes trembled violently, as if his heart was hit by a huge impact that could not be prevented, his whole body trembled, and finally he burst out from his chest:
"What, what's going on?" Zhou Enlai had never been so out of control and flustered that Deng Yingchao lowered her head sadly and did not dare to speak.Zhou Enlai was already twisting his neck from side to side, asking continuously: "What happened?
What happened? "
In fact, with Zhou Enlai's intelligence, he already understood what happened. He just couldn't believe or accept this sad reality.
"The old man... passed away." Deng Yingchao finally whispered something.
Zhou Enlai's body trembled for a while, then swayed, and I hurriedly supported his left arm.He didn't feel anything, his eyes were still dazzled, as if he still couldn't accept this reality.Deng Yingchao continued to whisper: "Stroke, it will die soon, he passed away three days ago..."
Zhou Enlai stood quietly, with his lips slightly parted and trembling all the time, and tears trickled out of his sluggish eyes; I heard his breathing, which became more and more clear, which was the reason for the congestion of the nose and throat , this heavy and trembling breathing finally turned into the rhythm of sobbing and moaning, tears had already filled his eyes, overflowing like a spring, and dripping richly across his gray cheeks.
I shouted in my heart: Vice Chairman Zhou, you must mourn and pay attention to your health.But I couldn't say a word.I saw him cry during the Southern Anhui Incident, but this time his crying was different from that one.Where is the difference?I couldn't tell for a while...Suddenly, something unexpected happened.
"Woo——" I heard a long mournful cry. Zhou Enlai covered his face with his hands, as if tears could no longer alleviate the sharp pain in his heart. He finally let go of his throat, let out a mournful cry, and sat down fell to the ground.
Some of the people present were astonished, some panicked, and some were sad and wept together.I also shed tears, because I finally heard that the crying this time was different from the previous ones.This is the cry of great loyalty and great filial piety, carrying the strong breath of our nation, carrying the power of tradition and ethics, condensing the momentum of 5,000 years of civilization, and advancing violently.The cry made my heart tremble, and I felt a sense of solemnity and vigor; looking at Zhou Enlai who was crying bitterly, I suddenly felt a new and profound feeling for our nation, our party, and our party leaders. know.I vaguely understand a truth, the reason why the Communist Party of China can unite the people, the reason why it has a long-lasting power, and becomes the core of uniting the people and the nation, is an extremely important reason because it inherits and develops the excellent culture of our nation Tradition and all the civilizations created by human beings for 5,000 years... Sister Deng Yingchao and several comrades came forward to comfort Zhou Enlai and held him to prevent him from lying on the ground.Zhou Enlai sat on the ground, turned his feet back and forth, and raised his head suddenly.Grief, resentment, remorse, and anger erupted in an instant, tears flew like rain, and reprimanded like fire:
"You don't have a father? How can you do this? Ah, woo, he is my father!" Crying and reprimanding came one after another, continuously: "My father died and you blocked me, and Marxism didn't say no to my father! Marxism You can't say that you don't want your biological parents anymore, woohoo..."
Deng Yingchao didn't dare to persuade him any more, and couldn't persuade him anymore, so she hurriedly called Dong Biwu.Dong Biwu stepped forward anxiously and said, "Comrade Enlai, our original intention..."
"You don't have a father?" Zhou Enlai cried bitterly: "Wow...you are in a blockade, and you didn't notify me of my father's death for three days. He is my father! Huh, disrespecting parents, being disloyal and unfilial, what kind of Communist Party is that? member? Ah!"
"Comrade Enlai, alas, everyone is doing it for your body." Dong Biwu bent over and explained in a low voice: "We are afraid that it will affect your wound..."
"I didn't tell you that I couldn't live anymore! Hey, he's my father. Is there me without a father? Is this human nature..."
"Everyone is also kind," Dong Biwu shook his head sadly, "We didn't think carefully. Come on, don't get angry."
Zhou Enlai wiped his tears and raised his head: "The Kuomintang has attacked us as merciless, disrespectful to our ancestors, and disrespected by our relatives. How dare you block me. Block me for 3 days!"
"We didn't think carefully, it's because we didn't think carefully." Dong Biwu blamed himself again and again, and Zhou Enlai's crying weakened a little.
Dong Biwu took the opportunity to further explain: "Enlai, the chairman is very concerned about the decision to have you undergo an operation. He sent us a special telegram. Do you see, 'Enlai must rest and rest, and he should not be discharged from the hospital if he is not cured. After recovery, he must work less and rest more. Please pay attention.' Telegram called me and asked me to pay attention. I have to fulfill the chairman's entrustment, and I must consider your physical condition. The chairman said that you should not be discharged from the hospital until you recover. What should I do? I am also troubled. I've thought about it, but now it seems that I haven't considered it carefully. The matter is already like this, please forgive me. The chairman also asked me to pay attention to the fact that "after leaving the hospital, you must work less and rest more". , this is the chairman's request and entrustment, and it is also everyone's hope..."
Zhou Silai read Mao Zedong's telegram with tears in his eyes. Under Dong Biwu's persuasion, Zhou Silai gradually stopped crying and asked with tears:
"Where's my father's body?"
"Keep it." Dong Biwu nodded quickly, "It's too hot to make ice. We built a shed on the mountain, and the body was parked on the mountain."
Zhou Enlai stood up from the ground, wiped his tears, walked to the table, took a pen and paper, and after thinking about it for a while, the tears welled up and flowed so urgently.He wiped his tears vigorously with his sleeve, began to write quickly, his lips were tightly closed, and he muttered as if he had been greatly wronged. He quickly wrote a few large characters and handed it to me: "Call the chairman immediately."
When I sent the telegram, I read the content.Obviously, Zhou Enlai's grief still needs to be dispelled.He didn't want to continue to get angry with everyone, and he didn't want to criticize more. Chairman Mao Zedong became the only person he could tell his grievances and grief.
"Chairman, after returning home, I found out that my father had died of illness for three days. He was extremely sad and held grudges all day long. He should be buried the next day."
The telegram was sent out, and Mao Zedong quickly received a reply telegram of condolences:
"The honorable old man passed away, and everyone in the Politburo expresses deep condolences, and we hope to mourn. He is recovering from a serious illness, and hopes to rest more, and pay attention to working less in the future."
On the same day, Zhou Enlai dragged his unhealed body up the mountain to watch for his father.Wearing a black gauze, he walked up the mountain with heavy steps, followed by many comrades from the Southern Bureau and the Beijing Office of the 18th Army Group.When he came to the mat shed where the corpse was mortuary, Zhou Enlai stood still, bowed deeply three times, and then mourned silently.
The corpse was covered with a white cloth, and incense and moxa were smoked around it. Because of the hot weather, it was extremely difficult to use ice, so this local method was used to protect the corpse and drive away the smell.
Zhou Silai walked up to the corpse, uncovered the white cloth himself, and finally looked at his father's remains, bowed three times, and then sat down in front of the coffin.No one can persuade him to go back to rest, and no one dares to persuade him to leave.He kept vigil all night, and the next day he still refused to go back to take a rest, and kept vigil until the afternoon when he woke up.
The staff carried the body down the mountain on a stretcher, put it on a carriage, and sent it to Xiaolongkan.We bought a cemetery there, and all the people in the office were buried there. More than 20 people including Zhou Enlai’s father, Deng Yingchao’s mother, and Chairman Mao’s comrade Li Shaoshi who was killed by Kuomintang soldiers during the Chongqing negotiations were all buried here. got there.
When Mrs. Zhou was buried, Zhou Enlai filled in the first shovel of soil, and then everyone started to help fill in the soil.After the grave was piled up, it was Zhou Enlai who piled up the last shovel of soil, and carefully patted the grave and repaired it neatly.
Zhou Enlai paid a silent tribute to his father in front of the tomb, and bowed deeply to his father, bowed, and bowed again.Deep memory and sorrow flowed from his tear-blurred eyes... Zhou Silai's second bitter cry, which made my heart tremble, happened on April 8, 1946.
After sending away Wang Ruofei, Bogu, Ye Ting, Deng Fa and other comrades; I followed Zhou Silai back to his office in Shangqing Temple.
At that time, our CCP delegation had already moved to Shangqing Temple, which was also for the convenience of the KMT-CPC peace talks.
Wang Ruofei and Bogu returned to Yan'an to report to the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China on the situation after the Kuomintang-Communist negotiations and the Political Consultative Conference.General Ye Ting had just been rescued from prison after the Political Consultative Conference.Originally Zhou Enlai advised him to rest for a few more days and take another plane, but he was eager to go to Yan'an, so he insisted on taking this plane, and brought his daughter Xiao Yangmei with him.Deng Fa returned to China after attending the World Workers' Congress in Paris.
Zhou Enlai stopped at the door of the office.The smile from when he bid farewell to his comrades-in-arms still remained on his lips, but his eyes showed a kind of absent-minded expression.Thinking about it now, maybe it is the so-called "sixth sense" that people often say, which brings faint uneasiness to people?
His eyes swept back and forth in the short and quiet corridor, blinked his eyelids, and sighed: "Oh, it's deserted all of a sudden!" , while waving his hands, his shoulders and body moved accordingly, looking very powerful, his eyes swept across several doors one by one: "Xiao Yangmei is walking around in our room...Deng Fa and Qiao Guanhua were still fighting in my room yesterday It's making a fuss."
He shook his head with emotion, and said to the comrades on the radio station: "Pay attention to contact Yan'an, and notify me as soon as the plane arrives;"
Zhou Enlai didn't go out for activities that day, so he stayed in the office waiting for the telegram.He has flown by plane more than ten times in his life, but he still loves flying because of one reason: fast.His time is too precious.Because of the many dangers, I love to fly, but I don't feel at ease with my comrades.For example, after the founding of the People's Republic of China, he did not advocate that Chairman Mao fly by plane. For example, he was always worried about the comrades around him flying by plane.
It was the same this time, he couldn't read the file with peace of mind.Pick it up and put it down, put it down and pick it up again, forced to read a few pages and then raised his head suddenly, as if hearing something noise, then pushed the document aside, got up, walked around the desk and stepped around.
This kind of situation is very rare, and it is somewhat similar to the situation of "Hate Farewell".When the secretary Chen Hao walked in, he trembled sensitively, stood still and asked, "Is there a call from Yan'an?"
"No." Chen Hao shook his head, "The plane is not so fast, it hasn't arrived yet."
"Oh, it's not there yet." Zhou En looked at the watch on his wrist, "It's still more than half an hour away."
He sat down at his desk, and just about to read the documents, he stood up again.It was Wang Ruofei's lover Li Peizhi who came in.
Li Peizhi's worry and uneasiness showed a little more.So, Zhou Enlai's restless expression was dispelled, and he regained his usual calmness. He pointed to the watch on his wrist and said, "Not yet, it will be soon. You don't want to leave, let's wait for the telegram together. "
When uneasy emotions flow, people will instinctively come together, as if they can rely on each other to support each other and get some calm.Gradually, some people gathered in Zhou Enlai's office, and everyone tried their best to find some relaxing topics to chat with, so as to relax the inexplicable tension entangled in their hearts.
It was in a period of large-scale and fierce class struggle. It can be said that Zhou Enlai's biggest worry at that time was that he was afraid of the destruction of the Kuomintang by Chiang Kai-shek.I remember that when Mao Zedong went to Chongqing to negotiate, the Double Ten Agreement had not yet been signed, and Hurley, the US ambassador to China, was about to be ordered to return home.Zhou Enlai was very anxious when he heard the news, and immediately drove to find Hurley. When they met, he solemnly proposed:
"Mr. Ambassador, you have brought our Chairman Mao out, so you have to send Chairman Mao back to Yan'an. You have to leave before the current agreement is signed. This is not acceptable. You will definitely lose your trust at this time. !” At that time, Chiang Kai-shek did have plans to harm Mao Zedong. Although he still had a lot of worries and had to consider the hearts of the people and international public opinion and influence, he did not dare to act rashly, but he had the intention and the possibility existed.Before the signing of the Double Ten Agreement, he sent Zhang Zhizhong to Gansu Province as the provincial chairman.
In our opinion, only when the two "guarantors" Hurley and Zhang Zhizhong were transferred from Chongqing could he make a difference.Zhou Silai was well aware of the stakes. He was more nervous, worried, and anxious than waiting for the news of the plane. He immediately went to visit Zhang Zhizhong after hearing the news.He understood that as long as there were two "guarantors" Hurley and Zhang Zhizhong on the plane, Chiang Kai-shek's conspiracy could not be carried out.He said to Zhang Zhizhong emotionally: "Brother Wen, you can't break your promise to the people in the world. If you take Chairman Mao out of Yan'an, you must send Chairman Mao back to Yan'an. Otherwise, we will not agree!" Afterwards, Zhou Enlai went to visit Chiang Kai-shek again, and made the same request resolutely and forcefully.Under the pressure of public opinion and political influence, Chiang Kai-shek had to agree to Zhou Enlai's request.Mao Zedong finally flew back to Yan'an safely.
Now, Zhou Enlai had to worry about Ye Ting, Wang Ruofei, Bo Gu, Deng Fa and other comrades.As time passed bit by bit, Li Peizhi became more and more anxious when he never saw the plane in Yan'an.
At the beginning, Zhou Enlai tried to maintain a certain composure out of responsibility and position, so as to calm the emotions of Li Peizhi and other comrades, talking about Xiao Yangmei's lively and lovely and Deng Fa's heroic enthusiasm.Later, after looking at his watch a few times, he gradually fell silent, talking less and less, and finally dared not raise his eyebrows anymore... He should have arrived long ago, but Yan'an still hadn't seen the plane.Relevant departments have already started searching intensely in Yan'an.
Zhou Enlai and Li Peizhi sat silently in their chairs, and they looked at her eagerly every time Chen Hao came in.
No need to speak, and after looking at it, he lowered his head again, that expression was obviously no news.Their faces were no longer anxious, but replaced by a gloomy and heavy expression.
"Maybe the weather is bad, I made an emergency landing somewhere." I murmured softly.Now I understand how the comrades on the ground felt when I followed Zhou Enlai by plane; changing the route or changing the landing airport again and again, the comrades waiting for the news are not in the same mood as me now?
The hope we refused to give up was bad weather that changed the route or temporarily changed the landing airport.However, as time went by, this possibility became less and less likely.The plane has already run out of fuel, and it is impossible to still be in the sky; even if it landed at another airport, it is time to contact it by now.Everyone realized that something had happened, but no one said anything, and everyone refused to give up the only possibility of forced landing in the wild... But finally, the telegram of the plane crash came!
When Zhou Enlai received the telegram, his thick eyebrows twitched suddenly, as if a heart-pounding pain choked his breath, and his face turned pale in an instant.His eyes froze on the secretary's face for a moment, and when he knew something was wrong and had to turn to the telegram, he seemed hesitant and struggling.I stood close to Zhou Silai, discipline prevented me from peeking at the telegram, and I could only "read" the content from Zhou Enlai's gaze and expression.I saw that Zhou Enlai's gaze just touched the telegram, and he trembled. Those typefaces penetrated into his heart like hailstones and snow particles; It became more and more hazy, and gradually, the corners of the eyes began to flicker.He suddenly raised his head, his eyelids slightly closed.I understood that he wanted to hold back the tears and bear the pain alone.However, the flickering teardrop at the corner of his eye became bigger and bigger, as if it had been wrung out bit by bit from his heart, and finally rolled down in a rustle.He opened his mouth to clear the congested throat, but the corners of his eyes began to flicker again, and the pain tightened in his heart bit by bit, wringing out that crystal teardrop, and then rolling down again... Pain without words is the greatest pain.So, we all hung our heads and wept silently.
Li Peizhi was the first to cry.Tears had been accumulated in her chest for a long time, and finally flowed out quickly, and she burst into tears.Crying can be beneficial to someone who is in extreme grief and can relieve the weight of that grief.First the lesbians, and then more comrades, all cried out.
Zhou Enlai finally cried too.It was a heavy sob that could not be completely suppressed without forgetting the leadership responsibility, while wiping the tears on his cheek with his index finger bent.
"Comrade Ruofei..." Zhou Enlai uttered a trembling call from his chest, and immediately suffocated his breath for a long time. His pale face was flushed again, and the crying and complaining came out again: "It's all my fault, even if, even if it's divided into two, two planes... Why didn't I think of it? I'm sorry comrade..."
In fact, Zhou Silai persuaded Ye Ting to take Xiao Yangmei to take another plane, but he didn't stick to it.He has always been strict with himself all his life, and he must first find his own responsibility for self-criticism when something happens.When the old comrades discussed together, they all said that Zhou Enlai was the one who did the most work and did the most self-criticism.
"Ye Ting...General, Comrades Deng and Deng Fa...Yesterday he was talking and laughing with Qiao Guanhua and the others..." Zhou Enlai broke down in tears and called out the names of his comrades-in-arms, "Especially Comrade Ruofei, we, we are in France, get along day and night, this People, the quality is very good, he is a rare talent and friend... We cooperate well, if he does not sacrifice, he will become the executive vice premier after the founding of the People's Republic of China, yes, he can share a lot of labor for me..."
"Vice Chairman Zhou—" Li Peizhi cried out to Zhou Enlai, covering her face with her hands again, and the crying became more painful and mournful.
Zhou Enlai burst into tears, and he didn't cover it with his hands, but occasionally wiped it with his index finger bent, and continued to cry and complain, as if he was talking to himself, as if telling us, or as if there was something wrong in the dark. God of fairness, Zhou Enlai blamed him for being so cruel in arranging people's fate: "Xiao Yangmei was still running in and out of my room yesterday, she is only so old, so, such a good child, but, but..." Zhou Enlai I couldn't go on, my shoulders were heaving, and I looked at all of us with red eyes, letting the tears flow, sobbing and complaining: "I didn't expect, you, why...why didn't you remind me, ah? Even, even if Taking two planes can also reduce losses, why didn't you remind me..."
I hung my head sadly and guiltily.I remembered a few weeks ago when I followed Zhou Silai from Xi'an to Chongqing and crossed the Qinling Mountains.The naturally beautiful and incomparably beautiful Xiao Yangmei cried that time, Zhou Silai immediately gave her his umbrella.
This time when the plane crashed, what kind of panic and pain did the lively and lovely little Yang Mei feel?I simply can't imagine and dare not imagine, until today, 46 years later, I still feel trembling and sad when I think about it.
Many leading comrades persuaded each other to mourn each other while weeping. Several lesbians were sent to take care of and comfort Li Peizhi, and others began to prepare for the aftermath. On April 19, all walks of life in Chongqing held a meeting to commemorate the "April 8 Martyrs".At the memorial service, Zhou Silai cried bitterly again and reported the life stories of the martyrs who died in tears.On the same day, he published in Xinhua Daily
The article "The April 8th Martyrs Are Immortal" was published on the Internet.
Everyone is so sad, on the one hand, they miss their comrades-in-arms, and on the other hand, there is another emotion.Due to the period of intense class struggle, Kuomintang assassinations were quite common, and many people believed that the air crash was a political assassination planned by the Kuomintang.Although Zhou Enlai was extremely sad, he insisted on a realistic attitude no matter when and where.After investigation and understanding, he told us that we should not speculate that it was a political assassination.He cited the example of our distress in the Qinling Mountains, saying that American pilots are serious and responsible and would not do that.To be honest, this unfortunate incident was an accidental air crash. Due to sudden changes in the weather, the plane unfortunately crashed into the Heicha Mountain in Xing County, Shanxi Province.
The third cry of Zhou Enlai, who left a deep impression on me and made my heart tremble, occurred on October 28, 1946.
His crying this time has a process. It is a general outburst of anger, pain, and sorrow that has been suppressed for a long time since the KMT-CPC negotiations; it broke out when the negotiations finally broke down after paying great efforts and sacrifices.
Zhou Enlai was originally a character who often laughed, "the prime minister can sail a boat in his belly", and his laugh was very contagious.When he laughed, often with his arms folded and his head thrown back, the laugh was loud and passionate.After the founding of the People's Republic of China, there were many such moments, and there were many "shots" left behind.But from 1945 to 1947, I never saw him laugh like this once, but saw him cry many times.
On June 26, 2010, the Kuomintang army besieged the Central Plains Liberated Area on a large scale, threatening to wipe out the Central Plains Liberation Army within 48 hours.Li Xiannian and other generals led the main force of the army to rise up and resist, and divided into two routes to break out of the encirclement to the west. With this as a sign, the all-out civil war that the Chinese Communist Party and the Chinese people tried their best to avoid finally broke out!
From that day on, Zhou Enlai's expression became more and more serious day by day.When he called the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, he made a judgment:
"In the current situation, we are fighting while talking, and fighting is the main thing."
While Chiang Kai-shek launched an all-out civil war, he also intensified the persecution of democrats in the third party. On July 11, Kuomintang agents assassinated Li Gongpu, a member of the Central Committee of the Democratic League, with an American-made silent pistol, and Wen Yiduo, another member of the Central Committee of the Democratic League, on July 15.The successive murders of these two famous democracy fighters made Zhou Enlai "extremely sad and indignant." I witnessed his "pale face and tears streaming down his face." Even Ye Jianying said that Zhou Enlai's great grief "shocked me greatly." ".When I followed Zhou Enlai to meet Marshall, Zhou Enlai once said with righteous indignation: "The Kuomintang used force to fight the CCP. The two sides can still fight each other. Our CCP has armed forces. The Democratic League does not have force. Using assassination methods to deal with democrats is already a shameless fascist style, and I am so outraged that I have nothing to say..."
When Zhou Enlai said this, his eyes were red, and they were shining wetly, but he held back his tears.
A few days later, Mr. Tao Xingzhi, a member of the Standing Committee of the Democratic League Central Committee, died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage due to excessive stimulation.Zhou Enlai and Deng Yingchao rushed to visit. When Zhou Enlai held Tao Xingzhi's hand that was not completely stiff, tears filled his eyes again, and he couldn't hold back the tears. He choked up and said, "Your career will be determined by your friends and your successors." Hold on, folks. You can rest easy..."
到10月份，国民党向解放区大举进攻，连续攻占张家口、长春、安东和苏北、山东等大片土地，并下令召开伪国大。至此，国共之间已经没什么可谈的了。周恩来致电中共中央：国民党打下张家口后已下令召开“国大”，证明要破裂。南京、上海为争取时间疏散人员，拟在四五天内保持沉默，请中央严厉批评国民党。
紧张的撤离疏散工作开始了。但是第三方面的民主党派有不少人仍对和平抱一线希望，张君励、黄炎培、沈钧儒、章伯钧、罗隆基到上海思南路周公馆劝周恩来去南京最后争取和平的希望。周恩来为了争取民主党派，让事实教育第三方面的人，在痛斥国民党蒋介石之后，还是来到南京作最后的和谈努力。
就在中国共产党最困难的时刻，国民党一方面加紧进攻解放区，一方面积极筹备召开伪国大，向各民主党派许愿封官。这种形势下，有的民主党派负责人为和平焦急，又为国民党诱惑，办了糊涂事。
月28日，民盟秘书长梁漱溟提出一个对中国共产党极为不利的停火方案，没和中国共产党商量，也末打招呼，先把方案分送了国民党政府的行政院长孙科和美国驻华特使马歇尔。之后，梁漱溟才到梅园新村来向周恩来解释这个方案。
周恩来拿到方案，听说方案已经送给了孙科和马歇尔，脸色就开始有变。因为前不久，他刚同民主党派的负责人一道订有“君子协议”，记得当时谈得热烈真诚，一致同意在采取重大行动时，要事先打招呼，相互关照，共同协商，共同行动，一致对付国民党。现在，梁漱溟的行动显然违背了这个君子协议。
周恩来看着方案，勉强听梁漱溟解释了几句。当梁漱溟讲到“就现地一律停战”时，周恩来忽然把手一摆，双眉深锁地望住梁漱溟：“你不用再往下讲了，我的心都碎了。”
他把头向梁漱溟伸过去，失望、痛苦的神情一泄而出：“怎么国民党压迫我们不算，你们第三方面也一同压迫我们？”
梁漱溟赶紧解释：“恩来兄，现在的形势，我们也不能不考虑国民党的态度，目的是为了和平……”
“做人要讲信义，你们不守信用。”周恩来难过地摇头，“我们有君子协议，我们有协商好了的意见，你们单方面不打招呼就这么做了。你们跟蒋介石打招呼，不跟我们打招呼。抗战以来，我们一直团结得很好，交了朋友。现在我们困难，你们不是尽力帮忙，反而……”周恩来越说越激动，胸脯开始起伏。他突然憋住声，忍了几秒钟，蓦地迸出一声：“你们不够朋友！”
我记得很清楚，周思来就是讲到“你们不够朋友”时哭的。这一次的哭来得急促突然，没有“眼圈一红”和“泪溢眼堤”的过程，随着“不够朋友”的话音，泪水下下子就进溅出来，那是长期压抑的愤怒、痛苦、悲伤在这对朋友的失望中猛地喷发了。这种喷发确实惊人而激烈，不但声泪俱下，而且带着感情受到极大伤害的愤激的指责：
“本是多年的朋友，关键时刻做出对不起我们的事。你们这是出卖朋友，不讲信义！”周恩来作着激烈的手势，苍白的脸孔在愤激中胀成通红，眼里有泪水涌流，更有灼人的火星进出：“你不用辩解。我们早有君子协议，事前商量，一致行动，共同对付国民党。现在你们是怎么做的？哪一条够我们的君子协议？你们对得起共产党吗？对得起李公朴、闻一多、陶行知诸烈士吗？”
说到李公朴、闻一多、陶行知，周恩来哭得更悲愤。梁漱溟不由得低下头，赧颜地闷声不响。
我的心灵受到极大震颤。因为周恩来与民主人士交往，历来是温文尔雅，和蔼可亲。
像这样激烈地发泄情绪确实是绝无仅有。在他声泪俱下，慷慨陈词时，愤怒、失望、惋惜、痛苦、甚至是挖苦，各种激烈的情绪在眼里，在嘴角，在手势上交织而现：
“你们不同我商量，搞了这种提案，而且先给蒋介石，后来通知我。行啊，我们没啥，大不了再去打游击。我们本来就是打游击出身的。可你们怎么办？没有共产党你们怎么办？你们不就是靠了共产党才能存在下去吗？国民党要不是有共产党同他斗，他能允许你们存在？你们可以出卖朋友，不讲义气，但我要劝你们一句，眼光放远些，没有共产党，你们一天也存在不下去……”
“恩来兄，你别说了。这件事我理亏了，我们想办法来挽回。”梁漱溟诚恳地自我批评，并且马上采取行动，把黄炎培、章伯钧、罗隆基都找到梅园新村来，大家一商量，一致决定将已经送出的方案全部收回来，并且立刻分头行动。
到马歇尔处，因为马歇尔外出未回，文件还没有拆封，所以很容易很顺利就拿回来了。到孙科那里，国民党已对这个方案进行过讨论。他们赶紧借口方案中漏抄一条，需要补上，把文件拿到手就带回来了。
一场风波就这样过去了。
后来的事实证明，第三方面的民主党派和人士，绝大部分都是够朋友的。蒋介石搞的伪国大，虽然推迟4天才召开，仍然没能拿几个“第三方面的人”参加。中国共产党不参加，中国民主同盟主席张澜也发表谈话：“民盟决不参加一党国大。”最后，国民党搞的“国大”，只有青年党、民社党和少数无党派人士参加。
使我心灵震颤的周恩来的第四次痛哭，是发生在社会主义建设时期。这事还得从周思来与陈云一道反冒进，受到毛泽东的严厉批评讲起。
历史上，有几次在重大问题上周恩来的意见是正确的，但不能为毛泽东所接受，反而挨了批。他虽然有看法，但是从大局着想，为了维护团结和中央的统一，总是委屈自己，做出检查。当时听知情者讲，周恩来反冒进激怒了毛泽东。因为有人提出个高指标，毛泽东发展社会主义经济心切，对高指标很欣赏。周恩来不同意，说必须讲平衡。
毛泽东对这个高指标比喻为：“一马当先，才会万马奔腾。”
周恩来在会议之后找毛泽东谈观点。他说：“我是总理，我在具体工作上的体会是：
一马当先，会引起全面紧张。一个方面高指标，方方面面都要吃紧，经济建设不讲平衡不行，这样搞，我这个总理就不好当呢。 "
由于周恩来和陈云指示报纸社论提出反冒进，激怒了毛泽东。他认为反冒进就是右倾保守，就是给社会主义建设的热情泼冷水，就是不要发展生产的高速度，因此在会上会下多次严厉批评“反冒进”，不许再这样提，再这样提就是右倾。
于是，周恩来也会上会下地多次做检查。
那天，周恩来把他的理论秘书范若愚找去了，请他帮助写检查。范若愚从周恩来那里回来后，脸色很沉重。过了几天，我们才知道，周恩来对他谈了毛泽东批评“反冒进”
thing.总理心里很难过，有几次谈到伤心处，眼里都含了泪。
那时，我们工作人员就发现了一个不成规律的规律。在搞经济建设上，周恩来和陈云观点比较一致。第一个五年计划本来完成得很好，国民经济的恢复和发展在当时是稳步而又快速的。毛泽东批“反冒进”，直到后来搞起“大跃进”，打乱了建设步伐。当毛泽东能支持周恩来和陈云的做法时，他们都是全力以赴地投入工作；当毛泽东不能容忍他们的做法时，周恩来总是作检查，而陈云准就“生病”，或住院或休养，躲开了，他不肯作检查。等毛主席发现大跃进搞不下去了，“家贫念贤妻”时，陈云的病也就好了，又全力投入工作。当国民经济好转，毛泽东松口气说：“看来问题没那么严重么”，又要搞运动了，陈云便又生病躲开了。
周恩来躲不开，他是总理，而且必须配合毛泽东搞工作，为大局为团结，他只能作检讨。党内公认总理的组织观念最强，从不犯自由主义。我们这些身边的工作人员还没听到过他背后议论哪位同志的缺点，总是讲这个人有什么什么长处，那个人如何如何好，有什么什么贡献。对于缺点错误，他坚持当面提或公开讲。这次为了“反冒进”而挨批评的事，他也一样不议论不提别人有什么“错误”，只谈自己的“错误”，谈自己的担心和苦恼，找认识上的差距，设法跟上毛主席的想法。
范若愚帮总理写检查，认识“问题”，总理没多久又不让他帮了。说要自己写。
后来我们才听说，毛泽东讲了话：“不要叫秘书帮忙，自己认识自己写。”
毛泽东是想让总理自己动手，以便真正“提高”认识。
那天，我见总理坐在办公桌前，小臂上戴着工作袖套，左手撑在额头上，右手提笔，对着那份检查纸，久久不动，凝固了一般。然而，他的眼神在悄悄变化；两道浓眉毛庄严沉重地横直在左手的下缘，眼皮有节奏地三秒钟一夹，三秒钟一夹，始终不曾停止；目光落在稿纸上不移动，时而明锐时而暗淡，时而清澈，时而茫然。稿纸上无字胜有字，我从那目光的明灭闪烁之中，读到了反省、思考；疑惑又信任，清醒又迷悯；有愿望有不解有决心又有痛苦……有几次，总理似乎想通了什么，决心了什么，右手的笔落到纸上。可是，笔尖触到纸上的刹那，又突然停住了，僵持一瞬，又疑疑惑惑地提起来。他几次落笔几次提笔，纸面上留下一些点状和线状的印痕，却不成字体不成文句。
忽然，总理放下笔，将砧污了的纸揉成团，扔入废纸篓，重新换一张纸。可是他没有重新抓笔，将身子后仰，靠在椅背上，淡漠的目光凝望着屋顶的某一点，像是在出神。
摹地，他眼圈忽然一红，泪水渐渐升起，润湿了眼角。他轻轻合上眼皮，眼角始终湿润，但始终不曾淌下泪，像一尊汉白玉的石雕……总理好难哟！我心里酸酸地想，眼圈也湿润了。我悄无声地退出总理办公室。我事后也感奇怪，总理这一次“哭”，仅是眼圈一湿便合上了眼，始终无声无息，但使我受到的震撼却如此经久不衰，至今想起便心酸眼酸想流泪。而且，随着时间越久，对一些问题的认识也越客观全面时，这种感觉也就越强烈。现在，有的人对历史上某些事情感觉不好理解时，我第一句话总是说：总理好难哟。我相信，历史和人民最终都能正确理解这一点。
邓大姐有自己的原则，从不插手总理的工作，看到总理犯难，她只在办公室的门外转来转去，不好劝，不好帮，甚至也不好进那个办公室的门。后来她忍不住，就给范若愚打了一个电话。她不知毛主席让周总理自己动手写检查的情况，在电话里说：“总理那么难，你就忍心丢下他定呀？”
范若愚一脸难色地说：“大姐，不是我要走，是总理要自己写。”
“他现在写不下去呢。”邓大姐着急担心地说，“他很难过，你帮帮他嘛。”
范若愚又匆匆赶到总理那边去。可是，他到底没帮上总理的忙。周恩来还是坚持自己动手写了检查。
从批评“反冒进”，进而发展到“大跃进”，天灾人祸，国家终于陷入严重的三年困难时期。
记得在一次国务院召开的全体会议上，民政部汇报全国各地的灾情。
总理以往听汇报，喜欢询问、纠正、指导。这次他几乎没有插话，微微低着头，静静地听，间或胸脯起伏几下，又竭力控制住。他的神情肃穆沉重，眉头蹙紧，仿佛笼罩在蚀骨的哀伤之中。从我们这个位置望去，可以看到他悲伤地低垂着的额和耷下眼皮的两眼，嘴角抿紧，向里抽回。我们了解总理，他的一切形神都在表明他正进行严厉的自责和反省……民政部从四川讲到云南，讲到一些山区穷极了苦极了，一家人只有一条裤子，谁出门谁穿。
这时，我发现总理睫毛抖得厉害，两道泪水从眼角顺着苍白的脸颊悄无声息地淌下来，附在脸上默默地闪烁。他稍稍抬起一些头，泪花迷离地望住会场，喉结使大劲抽动一下，沙哑地说出一声：“看，我这个总理没当好呵……”
他哽住了。附在脸上的泪痕尚未干涸，又盈上了更为丰饶的泪水，终于有泪珠掉在了胸襟上。
会场静极了，静极了，静得能听到总理泪珠掉在胸襟上的卜卜声。于是，我心头一酸，泪水夺眶而出。于是，会场起来一阵隐约的唏嘘，大约在场的政府官员都哭了。毕竟，他们都是人民的儿子。那时的干部极少极少有人以权谋私，不敢不会甚至想也想不到。他们是一批有理想，热衷于献身的人，然而，现实却残酷地让他们流下了泪……到了“文化大革命”，这种不遂人愿的现实又一次令我们的总，理流下了泪。
那是1970年3月，周恩来把陕西省和延安的领导同志叫来北京开会，参加会议的还有北京市的领导。总理要求陕西省要关心延安人民的生产和生活，要求北京市支援延安地区，派科技人员，帮助延安发展5小工业。总理心情沉重地说：“延安老区，对中国革命作出了特殊贡献。我们进城了，延安还那么苦，我还是从我身边一个同志的小孩子口里知道这个事……”
总理所说“身边一个同志”就是我，所说“小孩子”就是我的女儿。
我的女儿在1968年才15岁就下乡去延安地区插队，1970年3月回京探亲。总理喜欢我的女儿，在我女儿小时，他和邓大姐多次抱着我的女儿邀请：“俐俐，住到我家里来吧。”现在，总理听说她下乡回来，特意把她接到家里来吃饭。问到延安地区群众生活时，俐俐说了实话。说到那里人民群众的一些穷困现状，总理听着听着，停住了吃饭，放下了筷子，难过地垂下头。当我的女儿讲完时，总理慢慢抬起头，泪水已经俏无声息地流出眼角。
“看，我这个总理没当好呵……”
所有这几次无声的哭，都带了青石般的隐忍，有多少说不出的苦衷、委屈、不甘和无奈在其中呵！
这种苦涩的泪，他只能默默吞进自己的肚子里。我明白，对于总理来说，这才是最痛的痛哭。
这一章结束时，我想附带再讲几句。
毛泽东晚年时，常常落泪，有时不能自己。陈永贵去看他，他握住陈永贵的手，讲不出话，泪如泉涌。陈永贵也跟着痛哭不止。毛泽东请长年跟随他身边劳累过度而住院的护士长吴旭君看电影，看到解放军入城，痛哭失声，以致满场哭声，电影未能放完……总理晚年却一次也没有哭。发现癌症，住院，手术，战友同志来看望；谈过去，谈现在，谈未来；话题是工作也罢，生活也罢，他从没流过一次泪。
总理住院到逝世，我始终服侍在他身边，那情景在最后一章将详细介绍。在那最后的三四年间，我没见他流一滴泪，比一生中的任何时候都显得严峻、深沉、镇定、庄重。
病重而难以下床之后，当时的政治局委员以上的人都曾去看望。叶剑英、李先念、纪登奎三位同志去得更多些，叶帅有段时间几乎是天天去。每次去了，总理都是打起最后一点精神，说说笑笑，而且只谈工作不谈身体，那气氛总给人一种身体很好，快要病愈出院的感觉。
只要客人一走，总理就会一头躺倒，头冒冷汗，再无力气动一动身体或说一句话。
我亲眼看到，叶剑英和李先念每次出病房后都要抹眼泪。他们在总理面前不流泪，打起精神说话，还可以笑。但一出门就哭。他们彼此都是强压悲哀，安慰对方，怕影响对方情绪。那一种感人心魄的战友之情叫我躲出去痛哭不知多少次。
我清楚地记得，李先念有几次离开病房后，一边抹泪一边加快步子，泪越流越急，步越走越快，快憋不住的样子，走到楼道尽头，再也忍不住了，呜地一声，号陶大哭。
见者闻者没有一个不跟着痛哭失声。
特别是在总理身边工作过的同志，在总理昏迷时可以被允许进来默默看一看。出门后，好几个放声大哭，一头昏倒在地。不是亲身经历过来的人，是难以理解那种情，那种痛。
然而，我们的总理始终没流一滴泪，直至默默无声地离开这个世界……