Chapter 9 41-45

Chapter 41: Mr. Wen / Chen Hengshu (11) But Mr. Zhang is not a scholar who closes himself in his study. He even feels that he is a bit out of tune with the modern way of life. Sometimes he will be "angry", but "angry" is very cute.In class, he would criticize the current debate contest as engaging in "split personality", criticize some teachers for running out to answer the phone during graduate interviews, criticize some teahouses and hotels for using traditional Chinese characters to write "Yu Qiuyu" instead of "Yu Qiuyu"... and so on. etc.Some people say that he has a lot of "stinky problems" of literati. For example, I heard that he gave courses to 03 undergraduates this semester. One of the courses used a multimedia classroom. He held a microphone and spoke on stage for more than an hour. While speaking, I complained about how bad and inconvenient this microphone is, but it was only after class that I found that the microphone was not turned on at all.Another class every week was originally arranged in a large lecture hall, but he quit after only one class, saying that such a big room is not a place for class at all, so he just changed to a small classroom.This class was originally only held on a single week, but after the change, it became a two-week class. In this way, he won another class time. After I heard the news, I smiled and said to the 03 students, Let Mr. Zhang "conspiracy succeed".

It is said that Mr. Zhang rarely publishes papers and is even less willing to write books.Indeed, I only saw "Selected Poems of the Song Dynasty" selected and edited by him in the bookstore, nothing else.Compared with many so-called "scholars" who rely on the number of papers to evaluate their titles, earn extra money by publishing best-selling books and lecturing everywhere, Mr. Zhang can be regarded as a real scholar.It can be said that he has integrated academics with his own life.Someone half-jokingly told me that thirty years from now, you will probably look like Mr. Zhang now.I shook my head and said, Mr. Zhang's realm is beyond my reach in this life.

Chen Hengshu, born in Shiyan, Hubei on May 24, 1984, was admitted to the Chinese Department of Peking University in 2002, and is a graduate student majoring in classical literature. Chapter 42: A Puzzle/Qing Ping (1) Yan Yan Yu Fei If you are lucky enough to spend your youth in Peking University Then in the rest of my life, no matter where I go Peking University is in your heart Because Peking University is a mobile festival A Puzzle (Qing Ping) For Peking University, I have always felt that there is nothing to say but nothing to write about.In a hundred years of life, more than 800,000 hours, how much has been and will be spent talking about it?Four months ago, we had a 20-year graduation party at Chinese level 83, and we talked about it all day and night. Such discussions, no matter concrete or abstract, exciting or sentimental, can be exaggeratedly called feasts. Written down, it's not very interesting, not much readability.These discussions are the same as the memories of Peking University that we are more often triggered by chance on other occasions, and the feeling that it is not what it used to be. They are all public experiences that seem to be personal experiences, and they are packed in similar moral and emotional containers. , there is little isolation at all.It can be inferred that an alley, a family, a city, or even a motherland will trigger memories and sighs between two or more related parties.So I thought, if you want to write, just write something abrupt.

One morning at the end of June or early July 1987, I sent away the last roommate in room 416 on the 32nd floor.The sun was strong and the campus was still there. I couldn’t remember whether I would go back to the dormitory right away. I just remembered an extremely violent thought at that time: I was the only one left, and I was going to stay in 416 on the 32nd floor until I was kicked out.I still have a lot of rice tickets, noodle tickets, food tickets, and vegetable tickets. If you don’t have enough, you can exchange them. If you don’t use them, you can return them. I also have enough money to rent martial arts at the Liangyou Bookstore in Haidian Town. .What excites me the most when I think about it is that I am completely free from now on, I am the only one, I can keep the lights on all night, I can sing whenever I want, and I can’t get up if I don’t want to.Although Peking University has been very free for four years, at least many times more free than students in other schools, but no matter how much freedom there is, there is always a grass that is more free, and now I can pull this grass down.The next morning, or when I woke up at noon, I was dumbfounded. I don’t know how to describe the feeling that suddenly changed from familiarity to strangeness. What happened? Where is the person?"... There are two things that I can remember clearly now: First, the feeling of being unreal.It’s not like a day and night just passed, but someone blindfolded, drugged, cast a spell, or conjuring. Anyway, how much time has been taken away, I don’t know what to do, but the speed at which this feeling disappears Very fast, it’s too soon to take root in memory, so fast that when I write this feeling, I feel very guilty, as if I’m spreading others’ lies and adding my own lies, and I can’t be sure of the authenticity of these descriptions No, but still want others to believe, can be described as "untrue untrue".Two, smile.After the swift, there must be a pause.In fact, what I remember most clearly is this paused smile, which appeared on my face like acting.This is an instinctive resistance to that feeling that cannot be reproduced, and it is very powerful, even more powerful than the "Quotations from Chairman Mao" that was clutched in my hand because of fear when I was bedridden alone in childhood.I started my life as a black hukou in Peking University alone in the last dozen days, and it played the role of a savior: I just grabbed the freer grass above my head, and it was too late to pull it out, and it was too late to exert strength. The whole body suddenly fell into the mud, and it pulled me out of the mud as soon as it stretched out its hand.For the next twenty years, it was the best thing I could do with anything.

In any case, this is the end of the four-year old life at Peking University, this short new life, "416 on the 32nd floor of a person", should be worth writing about. However, I cannot write.How I lived these ten days, what I did and what I didn't do, I can't remember at all, as if the "smiling savior" took me away after he gave me a hand.If so, I should thank him.Over the past 20 years, I have had a classic dream from time to time: I finally waited until the end of get out of class, thinking about eating a certain dish, and rushed to learn it, but when I was in the queue, I found that I didn’t bring a rice bowl, so I hurried back to get the rice bowl , but I couldn’t find the dormitory I lived in. After asking several times, I was told that I was in the wrong place. My dormitory was in another building. I rushed to that building and found my own dormitory in my impression. I found that there were no vacant berths. , and the people who live there are a bunch of people who have already graduated and are lingering. I searched in the dark corridors, and finally found an empty berth in a dormitory. Just after I put down my luggage, a person came to ask me, Hey, you are here too, what year did you graduate?I began to recall desperately, for a while I felt as if I graduated in 1886, and for a while it suddenly dawned on me, where did I graduate? I wanted to graduate in 1978, but later changed my mind to go to graduate school. Because of sudden social changes, I was delayed for a few years. Well, I should not have graduated until 1976, and now it is only 1992. I was thinking this way when I suddenly heard a familiar voice next door, it was Xu Yong’s shy and proud tone. Rushed out, almost collided with a person, the person waved his hands, said with a big boy's signature smirk, why are you in such a hurry, aren't we all here, I saw it, it was Dongzi... this dream , The difference from most of my dreams is that I have never been vigilant in my dreams whether this is just a dream, but usually in my dreams, no matter whether it is a nightmare or a beautiful dream, I will think, is this a dream?Or say to yourself, this is a dream.Very sure.I believe that the dream of staying in Peking University forever was created by the "smiling savior" who took away the memory. He deeply understood the meaning of the past, took away the semi-finished product of memory, made it into a finished product, and returned it to me.This extremely false but very real and confusing dream allowed me to enjoy the life of Peking University for a long time, and let me know that the past is for remembering, and real memories are no more meaningful than false dreams, because in the effort of memory , the details of the past as historical truth have long been unable to reproduce.This dream will be slightly different every time, but the emotions contained in it are always the same, such as anxiety, luck, doubt, surprise, sadness, and pride.The strange thing is that no matter how the dream changes, the scenes in it are not the real Peking University. The familiar Xuesan Canteen, 32nd Floor, Triangle Land, and Weiming Lake have never appeared in this "Dream of Peking University" --Peking University Not a single plant, not a single tree, not a single brick or tile has anything to do with this "Dream of Peking University"!For twenty years, I have repeatedly dreamed of the "Dream of Peking University" in a strange place that was created out of nothing, so that this place that has become so familiar because of repeated appearances seems to have become another Peking University. This is indeed too fictional and too psychological learned.

Chapter 43: A Puzzle/Qing Ping (2) I have never told anyone about this dream, but I have told many people about my "one person's 32nd floor 416" in those ten days. It is because I think I can remember the life of those days clearly.It is precisely because I have talked a lot that I began to doubt the authenticity of what I said.I recalled it over and over again by myself, and found that the details of each recall were different, and many of the details I was interested in conflicted in time and place: how could I do several different things at the same time and place?I finally had to admit that I knew very little about that period of my life, at least much less than I can tell.Later, I found that apart from the excitement and agitation on the first day, and the astonishment, bewilderment and smile when I woke up the next day, there was almost nothing I could be sure of.I can't even be sure that when my last roommate left, I went to see him off--when I wrote "I sent away the last roommate of 416 on the 32nd floor", I suddenly felt as if I I wanted to send him off but was afraid of being sad, so I didn’t send him off. I left the dormitory alone when there were still people in the dormitory. When I came back, I was really left alone in the dormitory. When I felt so , but the sunshine along the way when sending off the last roommate back to Peking University happened to appear in my mind.Obviously, those short ten days had become a real puzzle, a past that can only be remembered but not told.This puzzle has an amazing secret, that is:

I kept a diary every day from 1984 to 1996! I can assure you that this fact is as real as the clouds in the sky and the waters in the earth. I can also guarantee that I have never read the diary of those ten days in the past twenty years. However, I can't guarantee that I will never read that section of the diary-what a temptation that is! Not flipping through, however, is an even bigger temptation. 2008, 1, 5 Qingping, whose real name is Wang Qingping, was born in Suzhou City in March 1962.Department of Chinese, Peking University, 1983 major in literature. Since 1987, he has worked in People's Literature Publishing House.Author of a collection of poems "a class of people".

Chapter 44: Confidence / Hou Guixin (1) Confidence (Hou Guixin) one At the age of eighteen, I went on a long journey. One day in the golden autumn of 1995, I was carrying my luggage, with a bedding on one side and a suitcase on the other. I was half excited, half anxious, "not at peace in my heart", as if on a pilgrimage, to pursue my dream. From a remote mountain village, the carp jumped over the dragon gate and came to the capital all at once.This jump is too big, and it will take a lot of time to digest the gap between them.From looking up to integrating, there is a long road.

Walk out of Beijing Railway Station, bustling with people.In the noisy square, crowds were scattered everywhere, and countless small vendors walked through it.At that time, Beijing was noisy, impetuous and full of vitality. It seemed to be disordered, and it was a bit more rural than it is now. The distance from the train station to the school is long. Tram No. 103 turns left and right in the city center. After arriving at the terminal zoo, it changes to bus No. 332 and bumps on the narrow and endless Baiyi Road.On both sides of the road are neat and thick big poplar trees. Pedestrians on bicycles have almost no room to shelter when they encounter large carts, so they can only dodge under the trees. In 1995, Zhongguancun was still a remote suburb. Apart from the newly emerging electronics street, it seemed that it had nothing to do with market economy and modern business.As I got closer to school, some wild imaginations in my mind were impacted.I originally thought that the Peking University was in the center of Beijing, whether in terms of geography, politics, or academic culture; now that I look at the landscape on the roadside, there are even horse-drawn carriages walking slowly, I really suspect that I have come to another countryside.

It wasn't until I got out of the car, found the south gate, and looked up to see the school name inscribed by Mao Zedong, that all imaginations slowly found a carrier.The school gate is not tall and majestic. Looking inside, the buildings on both sides of the cement road are also gray, showing a bit of simplicity in the antique flavor.Most of the students walking towards me were not brightly dressed, but they all had a contented look. I finally stepped into the school gate.At that moment, with the beating of my heart, I became a native of Peking University.Although, the identity of Peking University is not obtained overnight, and the consciousness of Peking University requires years of accumulation.During the seven years, everything absorbed and digested at Peking University was integrated into my blood bit by bit.Seven years later, when I walked out of the school, I still looked back frequently, and suddenly found that as a Peking University student, the connotation of this identity is still being formed.

two In the process of reporting for duty, I encountered two accidents.One is to complete the registration procedures and attend the opening ceremony in the auditorium. After going out, I suddenly found that the admission letter was lost, and I broke out in a cold sweat.Fortunately, I was never asked to show this "admission ticket" afterwards, but it was a pity that I lost a rather precious souvenir.Second, I heard the news when I registered that the first-year liberal arts freshmen had to go to the Changpingyuan branch school for a year.Haidian is remote enough, not to mention the unheard of Changping?Studying in Changping, can you be considered a native of Peking University?My heart became cold.However, there is a light rain from time to time in the sky, which echoes a feeling of being abandoned. After many years, I no longer have any grudges about being "assigned" to other counties, and I can look at the gains and losses in a more rational way.Changping Garden is a small garden that is somewhat isolated and closed, but full of vitality.Out of the gate of the garden, there is no human habitation within a radius of one mile.Some people joked that the year we spent here was the senior year of high school.This is a transition from the hard-working high school life to the colorful university campus life.What does it mean when the real and full sense of college life is delayed by one year, which is equivalent to ending one year earlier?Just a loss?Or is it also getting some kind of cushion and protection at the same time?The outside world is so wonderful, are we really ready to embrace it?Of course, I will never forget that during my one year in Changping Garden, whenever I invited my classmates to "go to the city" for sightseeing, and after lingering under the shadow of the lake tower in Yanyuan, I felt reluctant and melancholy when I left.However, Changping Garden also has its own scenery.Here the grass is darker and more green, and there is a large expanse of land to the east of the garden for corn.Around the garden, there are beautiful mountains and clear waters, and there are many scenic spots. I have visited the Ming Tombs, Huyu, the miniature landscape of old Beijing, Badaling, etc. in this year.Especially Huyu and other places, I believe that many Beijingers have never heard of it. The hardness of the mountains and the clarity of the water there are rare and extremely pure.We saw two huge rocks standing in the valley, which are said to be the stones that tied horses when Mu Guiying fought against the Liao soldiers. Chapter 45: Confidence / Hou Guixin (2) Most of the time, from Monday to Friday, we don't even go out of the garden gate, because even to Changping County, there are two or three kilometers away, and we need to take a tricycle rented by local farmers.The life in the garden is not so monotonous. Various club activities compete with each other, attracting most of the students.I participated in the garden magazine "Century Wind".I handed in a lonely essay and applied for it. One day, Mr. Wang Yugen, the class teacher, called me to his room and informed me that I had been admitted. He also praised my writing as good and my foundation, which reached the level of a college student.He may not have thought that these short comments will always be in my heart in the future. Attending classes, reading books, writing and editing manuscripts, life is actually quite tense, but compared to the later years, the pace of time in Changping Garden is not so "hurried".At least on the way back to the dormitory from the main building after evening self-study, you can pace under the street lamps and let your thoughts fly.That year, people were particularly sentimental, often wandering between longing, pondering and thinking, "chewing the little joys and sorrows around them".This seems a bit low-level.However, many years later, stepping into the society and working hard, there is no space and energy for this bit of chewing, and the mind is getting more and more dull. I can't help but miss the path in Changping Garden that has been walked four or five hundred times, as well as the morning road. The sun and dew on the side, and the dim lights flickering in the middle of the night. three When I was in Changping Garden, there were no more than 600 or 700 liberal arts freshmen at the same level, both male and female. Everyone has an impression, although they may not be able to name them.When we met on the road, those who knew each other or not, would usually say hello with a smile. This familiar and cordial feeling will never be seen again in the future.In my memory, people's smiling faces were particularly bright at that time. This feeling is quickly lost.A year has passed, and we return to Yanyuan, a haunted place.Like a stream merging into a great river, the acquaintances in Changping Garden scattered in all directions, and most of them disappeared from sight forever.Yanyuan is too big. After some dismantling and reorganization, we went back on the road and began to truly touch and integrate into the tradition and reality of Peking University. When I was in the second grade, some students still maintained their interest in student associations, and I also joined the Peking University magazine as a student reporter.After the third grade, everyone seems to have generally lost enthusiasm for campus activities, and paid more attention to personal life and future issues.Personally, apart from reading and writing, my long-term interest is listening to lectures. Peking University's lecture culture may be second to none in the country.This is of course related to its unique resource advantages.Generally speaking, by virtue of its prestige, no matter how famous the invitee is or how high the position is, the invitee will not refuse it.Therefore, the students of Peking University are blessed, and can see the best thinkers in various fields.