Chapter 23 Chapter XXI Rama Gives Strength to the Weak

Although I have a casual acquaintance with Hinduism and other religions in the world, I also understand that in my trials, this little knowledge is far from saving me.When a person is going through trials, he has no sense of what supports him, let alone any knowledge of it.If it is a man who does not believe in God, he must attribute his safety to chance.If it is a person who believes in God, he will say that God saved him.He will come to the conclusion that what sustains him inwardly is the effect of his religious studies or of his spiritual discipline. Yet when he was free, he did not know whether it was his mental discipline or something else that had saved him.Didn't those who prided themselves on their spiritual strength also see it cringing?A religious knowledge, as distinguished from empirical knowledge, when subjected to such a test, is but a joke.

The first time I found that relying on religious knowledge alone was useless was when I was studying abroad in England.I can’t say exactly how I was saved in the few encounters I experienced before, because I was too young at that time; but now I am twenty years old, have a wife and a son, and have some experience. As far as I can remember, during my last year in England, 1890, there was a Vegetarian Conference in Portsmouth, to which an Indian friend and I were invited.Portsmouth is a seaport where many naval personnel live.There are a lot of women out there with a bad reputation who aren't really whores, but at the same time, their morals aren't that great.We live in one of them.Naturally, the Hospitality Committee knew nothing about it.In a city like Portsmouth it is inherently difficult for casual travelers like us to find good and bad lodgings.

After attending the meeting, we returned to the apartment in the evening.After supper we sat down to a game of bridge, which our hostess joined in, as is the custom in England, even among the best families.Every card player, of course, said something innocuous, but my companion made some silly remarks to our mistress.I didn't know my friend was an expert at this.Their conversation attracted me, and I joined in.Just when I was about to cross the line and put down all the cards in my hand, God sent a gratifying warning through this good companion: "Where did you come up with such an idea, my child? Go, hurry!"

I am ashamed.I accepted the warning and thanked my friend from the bottom of my heart.Remembering the oath I made in front of my mother, I immediately fled from the scene.I am embarrassed.Trembling and flustered, I fled back to my room, like a hunted animal fleeing its pursuer. I remember that this was the first woman who touched my lust besides my wife.I couldn't sleep that night, all kinds of thoughts bothered me.Should I leave this house?Should I leave this place?Where am I now!What would happen if I lost my mind?I resolved to be cautious henceforth; not only to leave this house, but to leave Portsmouth.The meeting could have been completed in two days, and I remember that I left Portsmouth on the evening of the second day, and my companion remained there a little longer.

At that time I didn't understand the nature of religion or God, or how He works in us.I only vaguely understood that that encounter was God saving me.All the trials I have been through have been rescued by Him. Today I understand that the words "God save me" have a deeper meaning, and I don't think I fully understand its meaning.Only greater experience can help me to understand more fully.But for all the ordeals I've been through--spiritual, as a lawyer, running a society, and engaging in politics--God has blessed me, I daresay. When all hope is shattered, "when the helper is helpless and the comfort is nothing," I find that there is no escaping way, although I don't know where it comes from.Wishing, worshiping, and praying are not superstitious: they are more real behaviors than eating, drinking, housing, and transportation.It is not an exaggeration to say that only they are real and everything else is not.

This worship or prayer is not rhetoric or mere words; it comes from the heart.So when it "has nothing but love," as soon as we attain that purity of mind, as soon as we bring all the strings into tune, they "vibrate in music without being See".There is no need to speak in prayer.It is itself independent of any sensuous endeavor.I have no doubt that prayer is a successful means of clearing the heart of lust, though it must be combined with great humility.