Chapter 12 Chapter 10 A Glimpse of Religion

From the age of six or seven to sixteen, I studied in school, during which time I learned everything except religion.I daresay I didn't get what the faculty taught me so effortlessly.But I always follow her and learn a lot from the things around me.I use the word "religion" here in the broadest sense possible, meaning self-realization or self-knowledge. Since I am a born Vishnu devotee, I often go to the Haveli Temple to worship.But it didn't touch my emotions.I don't like the bright lights and noise in the temple.And I also heard that the temple is also engaged in corrupt activities, so I feel that it is even more dull.So I didn't get much out of the Haveli Temple.

What I didn't get there, however, I got from my nanny, an old servant in our house.I still remember her love for me very clearly.As I have said before, I was very afraid of ghosts when I was a child. Ramba—that's her name—taught me to repeat "Rama Nama" so that I wouldn't be afraid.I don't really believe in this method, but I do believe in her, so I started chanting "Rama Nama" repeatedly at an early age to get rid of my fear of ghosts.Naturally, this is only a momentary event, but the good seeds sown in childhood have not failed.I think it is precisely because this kind woman Lanba planted this seed that "Rama Nama" is still an effective prescription for me today.

At this time, I had a cousin who believed in "Ramayana" arranged for me and my second brother to study "Ramayana".We learned it by heart, and made it a rule to recite it every morning after taking a bath.This practice never stopped while we lived in Porbandar.But once we moved to Rajkot, we forgot about it.Because I don't believe in any magic in it.I recite it partly because I want to boast to people that I can recite Ramahu with correct pronunciation. However, when someone read the text of the Ramayana to my father, it left a deep impression on me.My father lived in Porbandar part of the time when he was ill.There, every night someone read him poems from the Ramayana.The man who recited poems worshiped Rama very much, and he was Rata Maharaji of Pereswar.It is said that he had suffered from leprosy. He did not use any medicine to cure the disease, but applied the Bier flower leaves discarded by people in the Bileswar Temple after offering to the Great Heavenly Emperor to the affected area and often repeated the chanting " Ramanama".His faith is said to have healed him.Whether this legend is reliable is unknown.But anyway, we believe it to be true.And the fact is that when Rata Maharaji recited the poems of "Ramayana", his body did completely get rid of the erosion of leprosy.He has a melodious and moving voice.When he sang and interpreted the rhymes of the two-line and four-line lines, he absorbed himself completely in the poetry, but also carried the listeners into a wonderful situation.I was about thirteen at the time, but I remember very well how delighted I was by his readings.That laid the foundation for me to fall deeply in love with Ramayana.To this day I consider the Ramayana written by Durashidas to be the greatest work of all spiritual literature.

A few months later we moved to Rajkot, where there was no one to read us the Ramayana.But every "Yejiadashi" day, always recite "Bhagavad Gita".Sometimes I listen, but the reciters are not interesting.Today I think of Bhagavad Gita as a book that can arouse religious enthusiasm.I have read the Gujarati version with great interest.However, when I heard Pandit Madan Muhan Malawiya recite part of the original text of this poem during the 21-day hunger strike, I wished that I could hear a pious man like him at a young age Come to recite this book of poetry, which made me love it when I was young.I was most impressed when I was young. At that time, no one read me such a good book, which was a regret in my life.

But I developed a tolerance early in Rajkot for all sects of Hinduism and its sister religions.Because my parents often go to the Haveli Temple, and sometimes to the Shiva Temple and the Rama Temple, they often take us there, or they send us there.Jain monks often came to visit my father, and even broke the vows to accept food from us non-Jains. Their conversations with their father often involved religious and secular issues. Besides, he had Mohammedan and Zoroastrian friends with whom he talked about their own beliefs, and he always listened to them with respect and often interest.Because I was taking care of my father, I was often there when they talked.The combination of these many incidents has formed in me an attitude of tolerance for all religious beliefs.

Only Christianity was an exception at the time.I have an aversion to it.There is a reason for this.At that time, Christian missionaries often stood in the corner of secondary schools and insulted Hindus and their gods. I couldn't bear it. I probably only stood there and listened to it once, but this time was enough, and I don't want to be humiliated anymore.It was at this time that I heard that a well-known Hindus had converted to Christianity.Everybody was talking about it, that when he was baptized he had to eat beef and drink wine and change his clothes and from then on he had to wear a suit and a top hat when he went out.I can't stand these things.Really, I thought, if a religion forces people to eat meat, drink alcohol, and dress differently, does it deserve to be called a religion?I also heard that this new convert had begun to denigrate his ancestors' religion, customs, and their country.All of this makes me loathe Christianity.

However, the fact that I have learned to tolerate other religions does not speak to any living belief in God.About this time I saw a copy of the Code of Manu that my father had in his collection, and it talked about God's creation and things like that.But it didn't impress me deeply, and instead made me somewhat inclined to atheism. I have a cousin who is still alive and I admire his intellect.I expressed my doubts to him, but he couldn't solve it for me.He dismissed me with this answer: "When you grow up, you will solve these problems yourself. At your age, you don't have to think about these problems." I had nothing to say, but I was unhappy. The chapters on the gods and the like in the Code of Manu seem to me to run counter to the practicality of everyday life.I got the same answer on this question as on my doubts.I said to myself: "I will understand when my intelligence is more developed and I read more books."

Anyway, the Manu Code didn't teach me "non-violence" at the time.The Manu Code seems to support the meat-eating story I mentioned earlier.I also think it's perfectly ethical to kill snakes and things like that.I remember killing bedbugs and other similar insects back then, thinking it was my responsibility. But one thing is deeply rooted in my heart, that is, I deeply believe that morality is the foundation of all things, and truth is the essence of all morality.Truth has become my only goal.Every day the scope of truth expands, and my definition of truth expands with it.

There is an aphorism from Gujarat that also captured my heart.Its teaching of repaying good for evil became my guiding principle.I have begun to make many experiments with this lesson, as I have embraced it with ardor.Here are some lines that I think are the most beautiful. Give me a glass of water, and return me delicious food; greet me, and return me with a long bow;You should admire the philosopher's words and deeds; if you do something small, you will be rewarded ten times.In the most sacred realm, people and the world are wiped out, repaying grievances with virtue, and the joy is boundless.