Chapter 36 Toshiro Diary (34)

September 26th. It was another sunny day, and the sun was still shining brightly.In the past two or three days, it seems that autumn is hiding again. Two Chinese men with braided hair came from nowhere and came to our village with a lot of paper that looked like horse dung paper.I don't know why they came.It stands to reason that they know that the war has been going on in this area, and they should also know that there are no ordinary people in this village. This Kaishun Street has been occupied by the Japanese army, and there is no law and order during the war. Why do these Chinese people bring papers? ?Probably the enemy's plainclothes detective!Either that or the peasants used by the enemy army.

Our team decided to kill the two Chinese.The Chinese man was tied up with a rope, as calm as if he was going to the Land of Ultimate Bliss—as if his long-awaited thing had finally come true—he was stabbed to death in the grass with a smile by a recruit who had only been in the army for less than a year. Generally speaking, whether or not a sense of hatred can be generated is somehow related to the other party's attire.If the other party is wearing ordinary people's clothes, it will shake the killing intent, but some people among us think: "You can't judge whether he is an enemy or an ordinary person by looking at what clothes he is wearing." They don't judge at all, as if nothing happened They kill people, but when they are on the battlefield, they act like cowards. Some people are too lazy to kill people who they regard as ordinary people, but they go forward bravely in battle.There is also a kind of person who shows timidity both in peacetime and in battle.

September 26th. In Northern China, it is hot during the day, but at night, it is so cold that you must warm yourself by a fire.Today is the 26th. Although it is cold, it is still bearable at one o'clock in the morning. At about one o'clock, the village caught fire, as if the enemy army sneaked into the village in the dark and set the fire on fire.The fire spread immediately, reflecting the night sky, challenging the night, and never extinguished.And a signal flare was fired on the mountain ahead.When the attack approached, we all went into the foxholes and took precautions. The flames engulfed house after house, and because there was no water, we could do nothing but beat the fire with sticks.

Everyone stared nervously at the night sky with eyes open, guns gripped, waiting for the changes to come.Time and cold intensified at the same time, but nothing changed. I went to reconnaissance with Omori, Kurata and the team leader. It was a dark night, and the path through the hemp field was the sorghum field, and we got into the sorghum to advance.After leaving the sorghum field, there was sandy ground under my feet, and I thought I was not far from the river beach.Go down and come to the dry riverbed.Over the embankment and across the river beach, I saw two farmhouses on the right.And, wild dogs bark right around there.These wild dogs come out every night to move around. When they smell human corpses or dead pigs, they will gather together and bite each other for a piece of meat.They were not seen at all during the day, and from this point of view, it might be a pack of hungry wolves.The piercing cry they made made people feel that the enemy army was coming, and their whole body tensed up immediately.Our nerves were fatigued by the continual barking of these things, near and far, in the dark.Quietly approached the place where the dog was barking, but there was nothing.Five or six wild dogs were prowling and roaring in the grass.Angrily about to kill them, I drew out my bayonet and chased after them. The wild dogs retreated a few meters, dodged the bayonet and barked again.I chased after him again, but it was still in vain, so I cursed in a low voice: "These bastards!"

After walking for a while, a clear road appeared. This is the road to the sentry post. It is sandy and the boots make no sound when walking.There was only one house, surrounded by tall willow trees, standing alone in the night, and noisy voices came from the house. "Who is making noise? Can you keep watch like this?" the team leader scolded. The talking stopped abruptly, and the dark silence returned. It was so dark that you couldn't see your fingers. I had never seen such darkness.Although he scolded and asked who was speaking just now, no one answered.After asking two or three times, there was still no answer.Although they can feel that the other is in front of them, they can't see the figure at all, just like facing the darkness.

Finally, the captain casually said a name. "Kumano, besides, who is talking?" But let alone Kumano, no one answered.Through the silent and dark night, it is hard to tell who is who, and the tongue sticks out, so no one else can see it! The team leader wanted to turn on the flashlight, but he was worried that the enemy would find the location, so he had no choice but to use it.For the continued silence of the sentries, the squad leader seemed very angry, but there was nothing he could do.The sentries remained silent despite the darkness, planning to resist. "It has to be quieter!" the captain said angrily, as if he had no choice.

At the end of the house, there are two hills. "Is there anything suspicious?" "No!" "Well! Be on full alert! Let's go ahead and scout!" Let's go forward.After a while, I heard the sound of a gurgling stream.is the river. what!There is a river!We reached the river beach on high alert. The stones under his feet were rolling.We stopped and looked around when we felt a quiet cough from the other side of the river. "Perhaps there are enemies lurking?" "Go scouting!" Leaving Kurada and Omori behind, the team leader and I bent our backs like slugs and walked forward as quietly as possible, as if we were not moving. Feet, making a short and low friction sound of "ba chi ba chi".The leather products hooped on the body will also "squeak" when the cat's waist is on the ground.Just advanced fourteen or five meters, suddenly a bird flew out from the grass, probably it was just nestling its head deeply in the grass and dreaming a sweet dream!The sound of the little bird taking off made us tense up immediately, we stopped moving suddenly, and listened carefully for any movement.The original silence was restored again, and no sound could be felt.I feel that the sound of "嗤——" in my ears seems to be the sound of the universe.We continued to walk forward, making a slight sound of "click, click, click".

The eyes and ears are tense together, and if there is any strange phenomenon, these two antennae will receive it faster than lightning and quickly transmit it to the nerves, and immediately issue a battle command to the gun held tightly in the hand.This process of perceiving commands happens from time to time. "It's like an exercise!" the captain whispered, really feeling that way. "It seems that there are no enemies!" I replied to the captain. "keep going!" It feels like I have moved forward a lot, but there is still no change.Has it advanced two or three hundred meters from the position of the corporal post?

As we progressed like this, we began to feel like the protagonist in a detective novel, full of excitement and interest.Indeed, this dangerous, adventurous thrill, and interest in solving intricate mysteries, satisfied my curiosity. Since we didn't notice any changes, we stood up and walked two or three steps towards the river beach.At this time, I found two black figures standing about ten meters ahead.It's people!Who is it? I hastily pulled the captain's shirt. "What? What? What?" The captain lowered his voice and hurriedly moved over. "The black shadow in front of us looks like an enemy." I whispered, but the squad leader seemed confused.

"Where? Where?" The captain asked hurriedly, so anxious that he couldn't even finish his sentence. We got down quickly, and two strange black shadows walked very fast, like cockroaches. "Well, capture them? Go!" whispered the squad leader, about to advance. "Wait a minute, you must tell Omori and Kurada first." I suggested. "yes?" I quickly crawled into the grass and told them: "There are enemies, be careful!" "Ah!" Omori replied nervously and briefly. "Yes... yes..." Cangtian agreed stammeringly. I took them back to the captain's side.

We climbed anxiously, approaching the goal.The enemy probably also noticed it, and left us far away with a retreating attitude.We were extremely nervous, concentrating on trying not to miss or hear even the slightest change.We have only one worry: if we get a grenade it will be over. As we approached step by step, the enemy retreated quietly.When we stop, the enemy also stops.For some reason, we seem to feel calculated.It felt as though the enemy troops were quietly waiting for us behind this dark shadow.We became uneasy, and a slight sense of fear passed through our hearts.Darkness obscures our vision, and the unknown drags us into an abyss of fear.Moreover, the enemy does not want to escape at all. I advance and he retreats, and he stops when I stop.Their actions seem to imply something.This disturbs us even more.Darkness, no matter the situation, is uneasy, remember the uneasy feeling of being a toddler instinctively clutching at a mother's breast. There are only four scouts, so far away from the troops, the night is like ink, the terrain is unknown, and facing the unpredictable enemy, loneliness, embarrassment, tension, and rock-like silence overwhelm us, how can we not be afraid? ? But we are still approaching the goal step by step.It is duty and mission that keep us going.At this time, I felt a loud noise from the right rear.Why is it so noisy in the middle of the night?Who is here?No!Who sneaked up to us? I thought about the black figure playing tricks and the noisy voice in front of me, and I became more and more puzzled.I wonder if we are surrounded. The eyes of the four of us were attracted by the black figure in front of us, and our ears were attracted by the sound from the right rear, making us feel even more uneasy.When there is no movement, it will be more frightening. "Maybe we're surrounded!" I said. This sentence was on everyone's heartstrings, and we panicked all of a sudden.I don't know who it is, but I turned around and ran away desperately.There was neither order nor unified action. We ran randomly and made footsteps, as if a demon was chasing us. There was no quietness and concealment anymore. We fell into fear and ran away desperately. What a fool! Fear comes with running, and the act of running can dilute the sense of distance between us and the enemy, make us feel safe and restore calm.We fell back to where we thought it was perfectly safe, and there was a corporal's post right next to it. "Your Excellency, Captain, really..." I felt an almost self-deprecating embarrassment in my heart. "However, it does sound like there are a lot of people behind me, and I do feel surrounded. It's very dangerous if there are only four of us." The squad leader replied. "It's scary." Kurata and Omori muttered softly. However, nothing unusual happened that night. Soon, it was dawn. A few days later, we replaced with the replacement soldiers and left the desolate and gloomy Kaishun Street that had been burned by artillery fire and was full of rubble and scorched wood. Here occurred events of grief and lamentation which we do not yet know.So we set off hastily.As time went by, the situation got worse. It was a day in late September.Twenty-five miles had already been retreated, and another fifteen miles had to be advanced into the mountains.When thinking that it would take eighty miles to go back and forth to the front line first, some people complained, "Why take such a stupid action?" Some people even criticized the commander's command.And I heard that the 40-mile journey must be completed in the shortest time, and everyone was even more dissatisfied at the thought of marching in a hurry. However, on the way of the rapid march, after knowing what was going on, the complaints stopped abruptly, and a wave of sympathy surged in the soldiers' hearts, and they took even greater steps. The soldiers were astonished and angry, forgetting the heavy backpack and the pain under their feet, and walked tirelessly.The angry procession passed through the valley in early autumn, like molten iron rushing. We were worried about the fate of more than 30 people in the Kawahara team, so we desperately accelerated our pace. The Kawahara team pursued the fleeing enemy and occupied a certain hill.But that was the enemy's plan. The enemy lured the Kawahara team while fleeing, and completely surrounded them on the night when the Kawahara team occupied the top of the mountain.The mountain was completely covered by towering trees and weeds as high as a person, and the soldiers couldn't even identify the most important direction. The enemy will never let them go, approaching step by step, narrowing the encirclement, and launching a fierce attack.Everyone in the team knew that this was the last moment and there was no way to escape. Warrant Officer Kawara knew very well that no matter what method he adopted, it was impossible to escape from this heavy encirclement.He made a tragic decision, first burned the machine gun, and then burned all the glasses, maps and other important things. (Author's Note: After the first triumphant return, I wrote this in my war diary. For the sake of life, for various complicated things in the society, plus my own laxity, more than three years have passed since the triumphant return, and in the end I failed to Complete "The Chronicle of the China Incident. I have to go out again, and it will take considerable effort to complete the Chronicle.). "Those who want to commit suicide should commit suicide, those who want to die in the enemy's line should rush to the enemy, and those who want to escape should flee! Long live His Majesty the Emperor!" Captain Kawara shouted.In this way, they chose death according to their own ideas.Three soldiers among them escaped from under the nose of the enemy.After three days of hard work, these three people overcame hunger and fatigue, and finally returned to the team, so they launched a rescue battle against the Kawahara team. When we heard the news, our hearts boiled with love for our comrades-in-arms, and we marched desperately shaking the backpacks behind us. Cross the pontoon bridge on the clear river and arrive at Lu'an.Lu'an City is the place where Li Zongren stayed when he was the commander-in-chief of the Hankou defense front.There are checkpoints in the city. "what!" "Oh!" It's Kinoshita Tairo-kun after a long absence.We celebrate each other's peace. "I'll go see you tonight!" Kinoshita Taro yelled, continuing his duty with the rifle under his arm. "I'm waiting for you, definitely come!" I headed into town in response to the trend of backpacks and military caps.Dirty horses, carts, and soldiers mingled in the dirty streets.Go around several two-room-wide stone-paved streets and enter the dormitory.After unpacking the backpack, I thought of my brother. I took out two yokans, a can of honey beans and cigarettes from my backpack.Since I set off from Kaifeng, I have been carrying these with me to give to my dearest brother.even though. On March 12th in the 19th year of the Showa era (1944), I embarked on the journey again. In less than two years, I suffered a disastrous defeat. In January of the 21st year of the Showa era (l946), I returned to the ruins motherland.Today, April 16, Showa 21, I happened to flip through this diary, determined to finish it, and picked up the pen again. When I was very tired and extremely hungry, I only thought about giving to my younger brother and giving to my younger brother. If I don’t eat, I will keep it for my younger brother and carry it on my back all the time.Because of the unbearable thirst, he unintentionally ate the honey beans recklessly, and after eating the beans, he regretted it again.My brother is probably more craving for sweets than me!I regretted it more and more, and felt that this was not just eating something, but doing something sorry to my brother.I blamed myself as if I had done something bad. We often predict how long the attack will take before we set off to the battlefield, and we stuff enough cigarettes here and there in our backpacks.The attack on Hankou was expected to take two months, so we set off with sixty packs of cigarettes.There are thirty boxes left in my backpack. I heard that the communication unit is in Lu'an, so my brother will be here now.I forgot about my fatigue, gave up my rest, stepped out of my aching legs, took the remaining yokan, fifteen packs of cigarettes, and justified the honey beans I had brought here and ate, and went outside to find my brother.Between the tall tile-roofed houses, there is a valley-like stone road.Soldiers carrying kettles ran around, probably preparing to cook for the departure early tomorrow morning!It is said that there are many cholera patients in Lu'an.Every day a dozen soldiers die from cholera.The roads are dirty, full of excrement, garbage and sludge.After walking through several narrow and dirty roads, I came to the communication team and saw my brother through the guard post. Although my younger brother had suffered from malaria, he looked very energetic and safe in front of me.Time passed as we reunited after a long absence, congratulated each other on our health, and talked about our parents.I don't know how long we can live from tomorrow, we reluctantly bid farewell.The younger brother said that just a few days ago, he had been staying in Huoshan, where we were about to attack, and enemy planes had come to bomb him, but he skillfully saved his life. It was getting dark, and after saying goodbye to my brother, I went back to the dormitory.When I was getting ready to leave tomorrow morning, Kinoshita Taro-kun came to see me.He said: "Thanks for your hard work, this is a difficult enemy to deal with. It is said that their positions are difficult to attack! You must be very careful!" He gave him a piece of yokan, a box of cigarettes and compressed biscuits that he had treasured for a long time. me.At the front line, everyone wanted to eat food like yokan, so I refused to accept it, but he said "don't mind", put down the things and went back.It was a pity to let me eat these extravagant things alone, and I gave half of them to my brother.We set off early the next morning. The road was cut section by section.It is really admirable that the enemy army spared no trouble and labor.Every ten meters, dig a trench wide and deep. In order to prevent our army's tanks and artillery vehicles from passing through, they dug such trenches on the road, leaving only a long and thin passage that only one person can pass through.We lined up in a single file and meandered forward. At noon, I came to Huoshan, an empty mountain town.The common people did not know where they fled, and no one was found.After all, the houses built in mountain towns are blessed with the use of wood. All the houses use a lot of wood, and rarely use the unique bricks and tiles of China.My party went into a store, which was probably a large store that once displayed all sorts of wares.The order was received, and the attack was launched at ten o'clock at night.Since it was a night attack, there was still enough time, so I went to the river to wash clothes with two or three comrades in arms.The scenery of the mountain stream is as beautiful as in Japan, the water is very clear, and small fish can be seen swimming from one stone shadow to another.The warm sun shines on our bare backs, and the cool running water washes our tired feet.After washing my hair and face, all the dirt from my body was washed off, I played in the water, lay naked on the sand, accepted the sun's rays, and enjoyed the happy moments of life without war, peace and stability.Only at this moment, there is no worry, no anxiety, and a completely good state of mind.This is a rare and precious thing on the battlefield where everything is cruel.The warm sun made me drowsy, and I fell asleep on the sand without knowing it.About two or three hours later, I opened my eyes suddenly, and hurried back to the dormitory, feeling a little bit cold.I regretted that even though it was a warm noon, I shouldn't have soaked in the cold mountain stream, let alone fell asleep.The body is a little tired, and I feel a little fever.After a while, I was a little afraid of the cold and shivered. In the evening, my body was so tired that I didn't even have the strength to move, and I had a headache like a beating.I put a thick door about 1.5 feet wide on two tables, and I slept on the door without moving. I don't want to eat dinner either.Comrades are busy preparing for departure. The skin on my whole body is hot, and I feel cold for a while, and feel hot for a while.All internal organs are at work, and even talking is annoying.How uncomfortable!But what tortured me more than the pain of the disease was the pain of the heart.The pain of heart and disease, all swirl in my body. The pain in my heart is that I want to get rid of the shame.Me yesterday, the day before yesterday, no!To this day, until not long before I came here, I was quite healthy and energetic, but at this moment when I was about to enter the enemy's line, I suddenly couldn't move my body.Because the disease came so suddenly, I was worried that my comrades would feel confused. The squad leader and his comrades may suspect that I am pretending to be sick.They might say, "Boy Dong, you're pretending to get out of combat." Falsehood is a cowardly act. I have never been a coward on the battlefield, I have always fought bravely, and it is expected that my comrades will admit this to me.So I asked myself in my heart: They may not think that my current pain is just pretending to be sick, right?My body seemed to be sucked into the door panel, and the feeling of sinking deeply became heavier and heavier.It was unbelievable to be cold under a few blankets.The squad leader's shrill voice, and all kinds of reminders to the soldiers, sound harsh to me.The squad leader's sarcasm and mocking high-pitched voice made me feel that he wanted me to hear it.I cried, regret made my heart ache, I hated this inexplicable disease "the enemy seems very tenacious!" "Because it's a night attack, if you don't pay attention, you will really be regarded as an enemy!" "The leucorrhea on the chest is a sign, everyone should pay attention!" The conversations of comrades-in-arms tortured my heart. There is nothing more painful to a soldier with a sense of shame than to be considered a coward on the battlefield. It would be better to die than to be misunderstood like that. No one wants to die, but even less wants to be considered a coward.Not wanting to die and not wanting to be a coward - isn't that a contradiction? Since one is truly brave, it stands to reason that death must be ignored.But can a living person really ignore life?And there is no fear or hesitation at any time and on any occasion? If this is the case, then this kind of person was under the control of abnormal psychology in the state at that time. Wanting to live is a strong instinct for living things. There is nothing more painful than being controlled by this instinct. Soon, the time for departure came, and the comrades-in-arms assembled on the road with light packs.I fell asleep under the blanket and was so miserable that I didn't even say the words "tired you up". I'm tired of even looking up and talking. The team leader's low and serious voice sounded outside the door: "Keep in touch before and after! In addition, you must never talk, and of course you are not allowed to smoke cigarettes! The team leader must control his team members!" Then the soldiers reported the number. "Let's go—go!" It was the captain's voice again.The footsteps of military boots gradually faded away.I was still trembling, and I felt like my internal organs were broken.After a while, the chest felt tight, and there were signs of vomiting.Despite the pain, I endured it, but at last it was too much and I sank into despair. Am I going to get the dreaded cholera? Cholera, died in the painful process of vomiting. Vomiting - this is characteristic of cholera. There is absolutely no hope of salvation from cholera. I feel that my lifespan is numbered and I won't live much longer.When I thought that death was near, I couldn't bear it again.Sick and dead!Die worthless! I can't stand it. I want to be shot and die! What did I eat?Ordinarily, I didn't eat anything suspicious!Lu'an!Cholera Street Lu'an!What I ate there was the same food as my comrades-in-arms, and the tableware was washed in the small shed.After parting with my comrades in arms, I didn’t eat any special food. If I want to talk about special food, it’s the yokan and compressed biscuits sent by Kinoshita Taro, that’s all, but… I put up my uncomfortable body and staggered away to the door. All the food in the stomach was vomited out. As the acid in my stomach gushed and irritated my mouth, a sense of unease came over me: cholera!cholera!die!Death in vain!Death in vain! Vomiting is a characteristic symptom of cholera. Except for the disabled and the sick, there is not a single ordinary Chinese here.The dusk of loneliness and deathly silence descended quietly on the empty streets again. The second hand on the watch is like counting the limited time left in my life, "tick-tick", the anxiety of death is biting my heart. This is unbearable despair!This is cholera that can never be cured! I twisted my body uncomfortably. On this one-foot-five-inch wide door is my body. My body and the door that carries it will be carried to the cemetery as they are. This door is my coffin. what!what to do?What should I do? But it's impossible to imagine, impossible to imagine!Like a boulder pressing on my heart, I can't escape even if I want to. My heart is struggling!struggle! The headache felt like it was about to burst, and the internal organs were convulsing violently.Then all the water in the body was discharged out of the body, and the blood seemed to be sucked out.The armor that protects my body with good intentions is like a living thing, as if it vowed to take revenge on my body because I broke it, it constantly sucks up the moisture in my body.The salty sweat made the military uniform wet, like taking a shower while wearing a military uniform.Before long, my body gradually relaxed, and I felt refreshed and comfortable.At this time, I seemed to see light again from the darkness.The restored vitality surged in his chest, and the pain disappeared.This process is so short that it is simply unbelievable.I got up and went outside to look for a fire behind the house with the awning.The soldiers were chatting around the fire. I took off my sweat-soaked military uniform and put it on the fire to bake. Only then did I know that I had malaria. Chills, shivering, and headaches, and miraculously come back after that time.This state has a fixed time and occurs periodically. This disease is malaria.My disease was not cholera, but malaria. I was finally relieved and very grateful.Luckily it was malaria!