Chapter 13 Volume Two, Chapter Six

What kind of people should be chosen for friends, verses 1-5.How to determine a man's character before making friends, v. 6-7.How to make friends, verses 8-13.Friendship exists only among good and noble people, pp. 14- Section 19.Between such persons friendship survives despite differences of opinion, §§ 19-28.Inferences drawn from the above remarks, pp. 29- Section 39. I think that, since in the following conversation he advises a man to test the worthiness of a man in making a friend, his remarks are quite instructive. "Tell me, Critobulos," said he, "if we need a good friend, how shall we find it? First, shall we not find one who can control our appetites, control our appetites, who love things, lust, sleep, and lazy moods? For no one who is subject to such things can do his duty, either to himself or to his friends."

"Of course not," Critobulos replied. "You think, then, that we ought to avoid those who are subject to such inclinations?" "Absolutely should be avoided," Critobulos replied. "Then, do you think there is no danger in the man who wastes everything, who is intemperate, who cannot support himself, who is always in need of help from his neighbors, who cannot pay his debts, and resents those who refuse to lend him? Where are your friends?" "Definitely," Critobulos replied. "Then we must avoid such people?" "It must indeed be avoided."

"There is also a kind of person who is very good at business and is always eager to take advantage of it. Therefore, it is difficult to get along with him. He likes to receive rather than give. How about such a person?" "In my opinion, such a person is worse than the other," Kritobulos replied. "What about the other kind of man? He's so good at business that he doesn't even have time to spare but to think where he can get money from it." "I think we'll have to avoid him too, because it's no good associating with such a man." "What of the man who loves quarrels, and who at every turn makes friends many enemies?"

"Of course, we must avoid him, too." "If there is such a person who has none of these shortcomings, but only knows how to accept favors from others and never wants to return them, how about it?" "It's no good having such a man. But, Socrates, what kind of man should we strive to be with?" "I think it's the exact opposite of these people. He can control his lust, deal with people honestly and fairly, and he must repay the kindness he receives from others. It is beneficial to associate with such a person." "Socrates, how shall we test these qualities in him, before we have made our acquaintance with him?"

"We test a sculptor," Socrates replied, "not judging by other words, but by the beautiful portraits he has sculpted in the past. We believe that what he sculpts in the future will also be good." "You mean, then, that people who treat friends well in the past will obviously treat friends well in the future?" "Yes, because I know a horse breeder, if he treated the horses well in the past, I think he will treat other horses well in the future." "Be that so," said Kritoboulos, "but how do we make our friend the one who seems worthy of our friendship?"

"First," replied Socrates, "we should ask the gods to see whether it is his intention to persuade us to be friends with him." "Then tell me," asked Kritoboulos, "how can we acquire the friendship of a man whom we think we can befriend, and who the gods do not disapprove of?" "Of course, friendship cannot be obtained by hunting down rabbits like hunting rabbits, or by baiting birds like hunting birds, nor by using violence like dealing with enemies, trying to make a person become a man against his will. It is difficult to have your friends, and it is difficult for you to imprison a friend like a slave, because then the man so treated will become your enemy instead of your friend."

"Then how do you get friends?" "It is said that there are spells, and those who can recite these spells can make whoever they like to be their friends. There is also a "love medicine" (φι' KAρα), those who know how to use this medicine can make anyone fall in love with themselves by using this medicine on anyone. " "How can we learn this?" "You've heard Homer tell of the song the siren sang to seduce Odysseus. It begins like this: 'Come, come here, Odysseus the much praised, great glory of the Achaeans'. "Does the banshee sing the same songs to others, Socrates, so that they cannot leave them?"

"No, they sing it only to those who seek the honor of virtue." "I think you seem to mean that whoever we should say such a compliment to him as if by a spell, so that the listener will think that the person who said the compliment to him is not laughing at him, because a person if he himself You are a short, ugly, and weak person, but you praise him as tall, handsome, and strong, which can only make him regard you as an enemy and avoid you far away." "But do you know any other spells?" "No, but I hear that Pericles knew so much that he had said these spells to his people and made them love him."

"How did Themistocles make the nation love him?" "I dare to swear on the god Zeus, he never used the method of reciting spells, but did something beneficial to the people." "Socrates, I think you mean that if we want good men to be our friends, we must ourselves be good in word and in deed." "Do you think," said Socrates, "that a bad man can have a good man as his friend?" "I have seen," replied Critobulos, "that a poor orator befriends a good orator, and a bad strategist becomes the friend of a famous military strategist."

"friend". "Concerning the subject we are now discussing, do you know of any useless people who have become friends with useful people?" "I swear by the god Zeus, I don't know," replied Critoboulos, "but since it is impossible for a bad man to make friends with a good man, tell me whether it is easy for a noble and good man to befriend a noble man." Do kind people make friends?" "What perplexes you, Critoboulos, is that you often see people who behave noblely and do not want to do shameful things, instead of being friends with each other, they quarrel with each other, and their hatred for each other is even worse. Worse still are the nasty ones."

"Such things are not limited to individuals," said Kritoboulos, "even whole city-states, although they value virtue very much and hate shameful things, but they hate each other. When I think of When these things happened, I was very disappointed in making friends, because I don't think bad people can be friends with bad people, because how can people who are ungrateful, reckless, selfish, unfaithful, and intemperate can make friends with each other? What about making friends? Actually, in my opinion, it is not so much that bad people and bad people can make friends, it is better to say that they are born enemies to each other. Secondly, as you said, dirty people and honest people can't make friends either Yes, for how can a man who is always doing bad things be friends with those who hate such things? Also, who can be friends even with those who are virtuous and hate each other for vying for leadership in the social state, In what kind of people can friendship and loyalty be found?" "But, Critobulus," said Socrates, "the situation in these matters is complicated. Men have by nature a friendly disposition: they need each other, they sympathize with each other, they work together for the common good, because they are both Conscious of this situation, they have mutual gratitude; but people also have a tendency to hostility. For those who regard the same object as good and happy will compete with each other, and become enemies because of differences of opinion. Strife and exasperation lead to war, insatiability to enmity, envy to hatred. Despite all these obstacles, friendship can emerge in a devious way, and bind together those who are noble and good; for such people are lovers of virtue, and they think It is better to enjoy a well-off life without competition than to dominate everything through war; they are willing to endure the pain of hunger and thirst, and share bread and drink with others; although they are also fond of beauty, they can resolutely control themselves not to offend Those whom they should not offend. They abstain from greed, and not only can be satisfied with the inheritance assigned to them according to the law, but they can also help each other; Both are good. They are able to prevent anger from causing remorse; they are also able to completely exclude envy, and consider their own property to be their friend's, while at the same time they regard their friend's property as their own. Therefore, the noble and virtuous Is it not natural that people enjoy political honors together, not only without harm to each other, but also to the benefit of each other? Those who want to steal public funds, rape others, and live a life of ease and pleasure are coveted in the city-state. Those who enjoy honor and occupy high positions in the city are unrighteous and shameless, and it is impossible to live in peace with others. But if a person hopes to be honored in the city, it is not only so that he will not be the victim of wrongdoing. At the same time, it is also to help friends in matters of justice, and to enable him to do something useful for the motherland during his administration. Since he has such a mood, why can't he make friends with people who have the same mood as himself? What about close friends? Does he make friends with those noble and kind people who will hinder him from helping himself? Or will he be unable to contribute to the country after getting the cooperation of those noble and kind people? ?Even in public games, it is evident that if the strongest were allowed to unite against the weaker, they would prevail in all contests and take all the prizes; It is not permissible; but in politics the noble and good men have the upper hand, and if a man will unite with anyone in order to do something to the country, no one will stop him; and most How can it be useless to govern a country to have good men as friends, as comrades and co-workers in the cause, and not as enemies? And, it is equally obvious, that if one fights another, he is Needs allies, and if his adversary is a noble and good man, he needs more allies;Those who would be his allies, he must give favor to, and make them willing to exert themselves; it is better to give favor to the few of the most virtuous than to the many of the low, because the low always Asking for more preferential treatment than the righteous. " "But," continued Socrates, "Critoboulos, take courage, try to be virtuous, and when you have become virtuous, try to be virtuous with those who are noble and virtuous." Virtuous people make friends. As I myself love to make friends, perhaps I can be of help to you in your pursuit of friendship with noble and virtuous people. For the person I love, whoever it may be, I have always loved them with all my heart, and I have longed for them to love me back in return. I longed for them, and I longed for them to long for me. I longed to be with them, and longed for them, too I am in one place. I know that when you make friends with anyone, you want to cultivate such feelings. So don't hide from me who you want to be friends with, because I have a heart for everyone who pleases me. Always trying to please them, so I guess I'm not inexperienced in making friends." "Indeed, Socrates," replied Kritoboulos, "I longed to receive a teaching like yours, especially if such knowledge would help me to associate with those who are good-natured and handsome. people". "But, Critobulus," said Socrates, "I do not teach the art of laying hands on those who are handsome and forcing them to obey, because I believe that the reason why people shun Kula, precisely because she struck at them, and people say that everyone would listen to the song of the siren, and be fascinated by listening to it, because the siren does not strike at people, but from a distance Sing to all." "I will not lay hands on anyone," said Critobulos, "please tell me how to make friends." "Can't you kiss them with your lips?" asked Socrates. "Don't worry," replied Kritoboulos, "I will not kiss anyone unless the person is very handsome." "Critobulus, this is the exact opposite of what you say you want to accomplish," said Socrates, "for the handsome will not tolerate such rash actions, and only the ugly will be willing to obey them. Thinking that when people treat them like this, they count the beauty of their hearts as the beauty of their appearance." "I love people who are beautiful in appearance, but I love people who are beautiful in heart even more, so please rest assured and teach me the skills of making friends!" "Well, Critobulus," said Socrates, "when you want to make friends with anyone, will you let me tell him that you admire him enough to be friends with him? " "Tell him so," replied Krytobulos, "for I never knew anyone who didn't like being praised." "You wouldn't think I was speaking ill of you if I went on to say to him that you liked him because you admired him?" "Absolutely not. When I think others have a good impression of me, I think they will also have a good impression." Socrates said: "Then, you let me say this to the friends you want to make. Besides, if you also let me tell them: You care about your friends very much; there is nothing better than making good friends." pleases you; you boast of your friend's good success as your own; you rejoice in your friend's good fortune as if it were your own; you always work tirelessly for your friend's Think about it; you think it is a person's virtue to be kinder to friends than friends to yourself, and to hurt enemies more than enemies to hurt yourself; I think I can help you in making good friends." "But," asked Kritoboulos, "why do you speak to me as if you did not speak freely of my freedom?" "I swear by the god Zeus," replied Socrates, "from a saying I once heard from Aspasias; The good character of both parties will have a great influence in guiding the union of the two parties, but the compliments of the lying matchmakers will not be good, because those who are deceived not only hate each other, And hate matchmakers as well. I think this opinion is correct, so I think I can't say a single word that's not true when I compliment you." "I see you are such a friend," replied Critobulos, "If I am qualified to be a friend, you will help me, but if I am not qualified, then you will not make up words to help me." "Critobulus," asked Socrates, "how do you think I can best help you, by praising you with false praises, or by exhorting you to be a really good man?" What? If this is not clear to you, consider it in the light of the following: If I wanted to make a shipowner your friend, I would falsely praise you in front of him, saying that you are a good man. helmsman, and he, taking my word for it, puts his ship in your hands, when you know not how to steer, do you think you have any hope of being wrecked and perish? Or supposing I cheated If you openly convince the people of the city that you are a strategist, a lawyer, and a statesman, so that they take the affairs of state into your hands, what do you think will happen to the city and to yourself? Or, if in private intercourse By my unsubstantiated representations, you are tempted to entrust some citizens with their property into your care, and to be convicted of fraud when you should prove your skill, is not to make yourself appear injurious and Ridiculous? But, Critoboulos, if you want to be thought of as good in anything, you should try to be really good in that thing, that's the quickest, safest, best way , that whatever is called a virtue in the world, you will see upon consideration, can be improved by study and practice. It is on these opinions, I think, that we strive to gain friends; If you know of any other way, please advise." "Oh, Socrates," replied Critoboulos, "I should be ashamed to say anything against it; for then I would be saying Something neither honorable nor honest."