Chapter 4 Memories about fights

Yellow face with red sludge (1) Fighting runs through my entire growing up.Maybe today's children are not like this, because they are too precious and delicate, but when our parents gave birth to us, they raised us as small animals and beasts. The children of that generation were all wolves.Big white rabbit toffee?The neighbor's uncle can only bring some back when he goes to Beijing or Shanghai on a business trip, and he often forgets, because the neighbors need him to bring too many things, from leather shoes to aluminum pots.Candy is not important, and it may not be very delicious. The most terrible thing is the candy paper, which is a sharp weapon for you to please girls or girls to please you.usually

Our most coveted delicacies are glutinous rice strips or egg biscuits, and steamed buns.In winter, there is no child whose hands and feet are as cold as rotten persimmons, but not all of them have their faces frozen, because the scabs formed by the snot on the faces of some people are too thick, enough to protect the delicate skin from the cold. The cold wind blows and cuts. Dear brothers and sisters, please don't cry for us, in fact we are very proud. We are proud of our robustness, and we have never heard of anyone taking medicine for a cold and fever; we are proud of our dexterity, our homemade precision chain gun with a steel pipe in front of it can definitely blow your Transformers to pieces; We are proud of our strength, no one has made friends from all over the world. We are proud of our savagery. The colder the day, the more stage we fight, because the thick clothes will not hurt the body, because the winter night is long, except for fighting. There is nothing to entertain, even open-air movies have been suspended.

The largest gang fight I participated in occurred in the fourth grade of elementary school. Two streets were divided into two camps. On a winter night, in the desolate field, several piles of corn stalks were set ablaze. Mainly, occasionally take the frozen soil (there are no bricks in the wild) and smash it.They are all from the folks in the village, and the flames of war are raging, so it is basically impossible to distinguish between the enemy and the enemy.Because it involves the honor of the two streets, some relatives belonging to different camps are completely disowned, cousin?No mistake in typing; cousin?Do you have the nerve to hit me?Taking advantage of the other party's hesitation and hesitation, it was a trick of Heihu's heart.

The next day, some parents of children with bleeding heads approached the school.The principal became furious, gathered all the students on the playground, and asked who participated in the fight.We don't have the kind of pustule that dares to act but dare not to be. Hulala raised an arm, and the sleeves of the cotton jacket were covered with dust and cow dung. "You guys hit me! You guys keep hitting me!!" the principal yelled. How can we, who have a straightforward personality, hear the deep meaning in the principal's words?Without saying a word, they caught each other and started fighting again.I knocked down one and prepared to capture another one. I took the time to look at the battlefield—ah!The sun is covered by dust, and the dragons and tigers are leaping, which is a beautiful scenery of the northern country.

This time the headmaster stopped being a pedant and retracted the high-level rhetoric of puns, but directly stopped us with the word "stop". "The Bodyguard of Zhongnanhai" is my idol Jet Li's first fashion film (2). He plays the bodyguard of Zhongnanhai, Lin Zhengyang, who does not protect the chief, but works for the wealthy Xiaomi, which makes me very depressed.However, Li's appearance in the film is really cool, especially in the part of the department store. He holds May Fourth with his right hand like a flower branch, and turns Zhong Liti's graceful body around with his left hand like a bag on the face, with a calm expression. A bunch of idiots and enemies were all put down, his suit was spotless, and his hair was spotless.

Of course it won't be messy, what people leave is a crew cut. When I watched "The Bodyguard of Zhongnanhai", I was so envious of Brother Jie's hairstyle, I also made myself a crew cut, put on a suit, and made myself unable to laugh. Soon someone asked me curiously, what happened to those white spots on my head.It turned out that when I was young, I was disfigured in a fight, and the injured area could no longer grow hair, so I looked like a man with dysentery. Saying this shows how good my fighting career is, and the scars are like medals.That's not the case at all.

After I entered the fourth grade, I was bullied by a boy.There are two reasons for the bullying, one is that this kid is tall and big, I really dare not fight with him; the other is that I tore up a page in his little book "The Raging Tide on Fishing Island" and lost money for a new one If he doesn't do it, I really can't afford it if he insists on doing it like that. There are two manifestations of bullying. One is that I have to give him my homework after I finish it, and let him copy it.Fortunately, this kid is not smart, so he can't think of a way to let me do his homework for him; second, this kid can't understand the long allegro book at noon, so he has to force me to tell him it again every day, which makes him laugh silly until.

The camera turned to the "Goose and Duck" bar again, and I told the beauty that it's not a bad thing for a man to be bullied.You see, the stories I tell make you forget about coffee because I honed my superb storytelling skills by telling that kid. This kind of oppression continued until junior high school, when I was admitted to a key middle school, he took a break from cooking, and when he saw me again, he already had an envious expression on his face. According to a happy statement and a dark revenge psychology, the ending should be like this: When I was admitted to university and later became a high-class person, he was completely forced by me to find a crack in the ground. .

In fact, this is not the case.When I was in college, he served as a soldier in Beijing and came to the school to look for me.Sitting on the bus all the way, I was bullied by a Beijinger with a foreign accent. I didn't feel happy at all, but felt like I was being bullied for my size.After being demobilized, he started a small business, selling everything from shredded tofu to deep-fried dough sticks. My parents got more money from him than from me.Now that he has a big fat son, when he sees me who is not yet fruited, he mocks me maliciously. All in all, God is fair, and everyone's humiliation and glory, success and frustration are roughly equal.

There is no doubt that I am a dissident. To use the word in Marquez's "Fragrance of the Guava" (3), it is the antibody of society. My biggest dissatisfaction with the government is that the implementation of the family planning policy makes people have no brothers and sisters. Don't use any big reason to refute me, I just can't see this.If a person cannot enjoy the relationship between brothers and sisters, it is a very, very big shortcoming in life. Fortunately, my parents behaved in time and allowed me to have two younger brothers before the policy was implemented.

The biggest advantage of having two younger brothers is that I have been nurtured with a low temper.For example, when my younger brother was in college, I basically never made him worry about money, and I always delivered the money in time before his pockets were empty. Another advantage is that I let my brother get something that I didn't enjoy. For example, having an older brother will make his waist much stronger when fighting. Who doesn't want to have an older brother to protect him, so that he doesn't have to be afraid, and doesn't have to be beaten? When I was in school, my parents’ generation was all born in one litter, no one was an only child, and those with older brothers became the most enviable people.The more brothers, the higher the envy index. As the eldest son, I have never been protected by my elder brother. Once, I had a quarrel with my class rabbit.This kid has two elder brothers who are in senior grades, and I don't want to mess with him, but I can only bite the bullet and beat him when he is forced to do so. It was a class break, and the two of us were surrounded by a group of people and practiced.At the beginning, the fighting was very civilized. You punched me and I returned a palm. No one wanted to push the opponent into a hurry.Especially when I saw Brother Rabbit standing beside me from the corner of my eyes, my heart trembled even more, and my fists became weaker and weaker.Just looking forward to the stars and the moon, looking forward to the school bell ringing soon, so that the war can end and retreat. But the rabbit took advantage of his power, and his shots became heavier and heavier, and finally wrestled with me.While rolling on the ground with him, I was so wronged that I wanted to cry.I could actually beat him, but I'm afraid. Not knowing what was going on, I pressed the rabbit under my body.This result frightened me at first.Before the people next to him cheered, Brother Rabbit flew up and kicked me in the ear, and I fell to the ground. At this time, the class bell rang and everyone dispersed. I got up from the ground, my tears flowed like Baotu Spring water, no matter what I could not stop them. I didn't feel the pain, but the feeling of isolation and helplessness made people really understand the absurdity and despair of living in this world. Several years later, when I heard about Luo Dayou, the first thing I thought of was this scene. Tears blurred my eyes again. black eyeballs with white fears After I went to middle school, pimples appeared on my face, beard stubble grew on my mouth, and meat bumps grew on my throat. I can be regarded as participating in adult society, and fighting has an adult color. There have been countless poets, writers, angry youths and Yiqings who have scolded them for becoming a human world and grown-up idiots. matter. When you were in elementary school, you fought as soon as you said you would fight, and after middle school, you stopped fighting as soon as you talked about it. For a small reason, the two of them reached out to compete and it was enough.But, no, just say "you wait", and then start to solicit sponsors everywhere, no matter in terms of number of people or weapons and equipment, it is enough for a large-scale war, but the more people are pulled, the more people who don't want to fight, There are more and more people who are acquainted with each other. Looking back, it turns out that the reason for the fight is so insignificant, and it can't be fought if anyone loses face, so in the end it doesn't matter. At this time, the real charm of fighting lies in the steadfastness after the appointment, the tension before the fight, the sword and lip gun when persuading the fight, the interlacing of cups and chips when the fight fell apart, the righteousness when we meet again in the future, and the fighting side by side when we fight again.This cycle goes on and on, and the ranks of pacifists grow stronger and stronger. Apple prices are not as high as before Maybe it tastes bad now like that color tv just got more fancy Fewer and fewer people can distinguish between black and white (4) Damn, the cost of fighting is getting higher and higher, no matter in terms of time or money, the success rate of fighting is getting lower and lower, so I can only live a dry addiction, such as stabbing someone else in the imagination Take the risk, beat others all over the floor in bragging. It's like our dreams, which provide infinite possibilities of life, but the poor ones are really realized. Why do you think people have dreams? Because the reality is just too tedious.If you work hard, you can only live out six tricks at most, but in your imagination, you can experience at least sixty-six. The woman you love deeply but cannot love each other, the road you step on but can't get off, the passion you brew but can't release, all meet you in your dreams. God is so merciful, at least let you still have dreams, so that you will not be suffocated in reality. The success rate of fighting is getting lower and lower, because the consequences of fighting are getting heavier, and no one can afford it.When I was a child, I wished that my broken arm could grow back like a gecko, but when I grew up, the slight focus on my hand might be a lifelong mark. Everyone felt that I couldn’t play anymore, so I found it under the steps. unanimous wish. One of the more dangerous fights I experienced happened when trying to persuade a fight.Man is a kind of cheap animal. Many friends belong to that kind of person who goes crazy. The more you persuade him, the more energetic he is.The pig I persuaded was holding a knife in his hand. The more I persuaded him, the more he gestured, and his strength increased with the number of people pulling him. When the people who persuaded him stretched out their hands to pull him, they all opened their mouths. Begging him, there is no more backup force, so he gave up and put away the knife. Everyone was introducing each other and saying something like "Jiu Yang", when suddenly someone shouted at me: "Your neck!" I touched it with my hand, and it was bloody, and I didn't know when it was hung. This wound later became my capital to show off, because the distance from the right carotid artery was less than five centimeters, and anyone who saw it would gasp. But I was left with a fear at that time, and since then I have been particularly annoyed by the kind of people who yell and don't call for a long time, and call out when there are many people. The real pleasure of fighting is when you lose your mind and shoot wildly, your eyes are red, your teeth are gritted, you don't know the pain, you don't know the severity, your whole body is trembling with excitement.I once chased and beat someone with my brothers, and the more we beat, the more enjoyable it was.At this time, people are even more beasts than beasts, because that animal nature is a long-suppressed old wine, and what is displayed can hardly be called animal nature, but human nature. In his novel, Wang Shuo bragged about how a group of fart kids restrained the black boss with their own bravery, because the boss knew that this kind of kid who didn't know how to attack was the worst thing to mess with.But who knows the fear of a child's shit when he faces the boss of the rivers and lakes? Wang Xiaoyan from the dormitory opposite to me went to take a shower in a nearby chemical factory, offended a group of people, and was chased by them, pestering her for several days.At that time, I was feeling disgusted with this kind of people who know they are sticky when they don't want to fight. In addition, the people in their dormitory were silent, and when they saw those people coming, they hid and left Wang Xiaoyan there alone, and then they were very angry. Sex, pretending to have something to enter their dormitory—but if I write a novel, it will be that I just push the door in—listen to them for a while, and then say: "What the hell are you going to do? Do you want to beat him up, or Want him to lose money?" These few sentences are actually pretty decent, but I mustered up all the courage to say them—if I want to write a novel, I will conceive a few more decent sentences. I can't remember what they said, anyway, after they left, I immediately got a piece of information that they knew "San'er" very well, and this San'er was a famous character in Eighth Street. For several days since then, I have almost had a good sleep, thinking about how to be tortured and destroyed by them, my heart trembled in all kinds of horrible fantasies, the sweat in my palms never broke, and I even thought of writing a suicide note. When I saw San'er, I was introduced by Guo Zi from our class, and the incident at the chemical plant has long been settled, which further proves that those gangsters are mostly anticlimactic. Although Guo Zi is a student, his father is the commander of an airborne division of a certain group army, commanding thousands of troops, no one dares not to give him face.Guo Zite adores my academic performance, especially mathematics, and almost all exams are full marks.The rise of a nation depends on strength, and so do I.Knowledge changes destiny, I am. I don't know if it's an honor or a shame to say such a thing, anyway, after Guo Zi's grand launch, Saner regards me as a brother. There are four brothers in San'er's family, all of whom belong to the people who hang around on the street.He opened a restaurant by himself, but the Chinese restaurants 20 years ago just sold fried pancakes, steamed dumplings, egg soup, etc., so it wasn't very promising.The second brother of his family works as a cook in the cafeteria of our school. According to his introduction, I have been queuing at the window of the second brother to buy food since then. Obviously, their family's reputation is not based on their rough cooking skills, but on the hard work and the face bought by generous donations. When I graduated from high school, San'er held a grand wedding.This wedding is very exciting to me. One is that his bride is extremely beautiful. He has just introduced an ice cream production line and is making a lot of money every day. After I went to college, I saw Zhou Xiaowen's "The Last Crazy" and found out that Liu Xiaoning played a special portrait of a policeman. San'er, and the criminal mistress played by Jin Lili is very similar to San'er's wife, why do flowers have to be inserted into the most filthy dung?I can't figure it out even if I kill him.The second is that there are many dignified people at the wedding banquet, but these people feel dignified because they can attend San'er's wedding. Many policemen also said, "If you have anything to do in the future, just call me." I know what is an official bandit One family, I know why it is so difficult to eradicate those rogue and evil forces. How many people are chasing the unsolvable problem Many people don't understand why a young man with hemorrhoids insists on mixing with such a bunch of bums.I can't say clearly, let me recall the first time I was drunk in my life. It was my seventeenth birthday. Before that, except for my parents, no one really noticed the existence of my life, but this birthday is very different.Guo Zi, San'er and others are urging me to celebrate my birthday. The high school I am in is a national key school, which trains students for all-round talents, so the school has hundreds of acres of land, where various vegetables are grown, which makes my birthday party not too expensive. Lots of money and variety.I bought four bottles of sorghum wine for six yuan, and I didn't have to pay for the rest. San'er moved in a kerosene stove to cook vegetables, and his skills were more than enough for a group of students who had no oil in their stomachs; the fat gourd was in charge of stealing diesel from the tractor warehouse on the farm, but was blocked by watchdogs for a long time; He was hated by others, so his chicken was not spared. The chicken that mingled and died without silence was wrung out of its neck, and the second brother Wang thoughtfully threw the faded chicken feathers into the garbage port of the girls' dormitory To avoid being chased on his own head; Guo Zi brought the flying dragon meat respected by his old subordinates from his father, and packed it in empty cans, so the whole banquet seemed to have a proper mix of meat and vegetables. The flying dragon in the sky and the donkey on the ground are delicious. "I still remember that we learned to smoke in secret, when we were seventeen years old." Ma Zhaojun's seventeen-year-old was too delicate. When I was seventeen, I touched a girl's hand for the first time.San'er brought two girls, not students, with bright down jackets, pointed high heels, wavy hair, bright red lips, much more attractive than the hard-working girls in the class.They stretched out their nail-polished hands and shook hands with me, a birthday guy.I associate the word I learned after entering adolescence with the first sense of touch in reality—soft and creamy. At seventeen, I knew for the first time that I was not alone.Several well-known friends from the whole school came, and there were also bastards from outside the school. They all said very righteous things to me, which made me feel that this group is like a big family. When I was seventeen, I felt for the first time that I was not easy to mess with.The sound of the banquet made the boys from the class next door come to protest. San’er smashed the military satchel hanging on the bed frame onto the table, and inside was a throwing grenade (this was the usual equipment of friends in the past): “Today is my brother’s Birthday, don't fucking make me unhappy!" The enemy retreated, and I felt like I was standing upright. Those four bottles of sorghum wine could not satisfy such a large group of people with a strong drinking style. I don't know who bought the wine later, and I don't know how much they bought.I only remember one thought, drinking so much, throwing up so much, the next day, can I still wake up and continue to live? Why do we huddle together like locusts? Zheng Jun sang: "We live only to warm each other, and we try our best to escape loneliness." Being a man is not good.The situation where only oneself cheers for oneself and only oneself mourns for oneself is the despair of adulthood.And youth, youth, what you want is a group of people walking on the street, and no one is stingy with the high-spirited feeling, but walking alone is always uncomfortable. Referring to the racial system of ancient India, we divide the students in the school into four grades: The kind of old friends who have friends inside and outside the school belong to the first-class Brahmins. They have already washed their hands, but their reputation is well-known, so they have no fight at all. They just play billiards at the school gate without spending a penny. People who have strong secretions and have access to contraceptives have already begun to have a trembling sexual experience, but they spend more time dealing with various disputes. The kind of old friends who don’t mix well belong to the Kshatriyas. Their qualifications are very old, so they won’t suffer too much in the battle, and they will also have old comrades to help, but they advocate violence too much, and they don’t know how to talk about it. The reason why fists are more effective, so I often cause some unnecessary troubles.Their IQs are not very high, and many of them fail to get into college in the end. The kind of low-grade friends who have a lot of brute force belong to the Vaishya. Their main ability is to remember the appearance and name of the elder brothers of the first two levels, and greet them respectfully; their main task is to be ready for dispatch at any time. Send troops to fight, and be proud that the eldest brother called him; their bright future is that they can transfer to the next level after the eldest brother graduates, as long as they don't get into trouble and won't be expelled from school. The kind of students who dare not fight belong to Sudra.Because it is a key middle school, it is generally no problem for them to finally enter a university with a glorious ancestor and glory, but they have nothing to redeem except for their excellent grades. Their rice bowls are often expropriated by high-ranking people. Give them a wash; their toothpaste is often squeezed out half of the bag as soon as it enters the water room; their sleep is often destroyed by high-level people; most of their girlfriends are not very beautiful and wear glasses. If you are at the front of the line in the cafeteria, all the friends you know will ask you to bring food, and the people in the back dare not speak up; You can recruit a group of people to give him an education; if the girl you like happens to be liked by your brother, the two will give in to each other, and in the end the girl becomes that you do not belong to me, and I do not own you.You finally know that no one in this world has the right to possess a girl... They say we are a pack of wolves lost in the ages of ignorance. "Loyalty" was the highest praise for a man in that era, just like "taste", "elegance" and "style" now. Once, San'er's eldest brother called everyone together to discuss revenge against another gang. We, as academic representatives, also attended San'er's restaurant.It turned out that Si'er was bullied by that gang, and he couldn't get angry, so he wanted to find them to fight for his life. "Let me go." The boss said in a slightly crying voice, "Si'er, you are younger than me, and you can serve our parents for a few more years." Then he drank a glass of wine calmly. Si'er cried like a lost lamb. My eye circles were also red on the spot, and my heart was filled with a kind of pride and tenderness that would go through fire and water for the brotherhood.A man, if he has not experienced this kind of scene in his life, if he has never said or heard such a thing, is he still called a man? In fact, the fight was not serious, the casualties were not heavy, the police did not care, and students like us were not allowed to participate.But it doesn't matter how you make it, the important thing is that the wine makes you so emotional, then there is true love in the world. When I graduated from college, I went back to my alma mater to attend a high school reunion. I passed by Saner's wife's ice cream shop and went in to have a look.She has given birth to a child, her once beautiful face is no longer plump, and her once delicate voice has become hoarse.Talking about the stories of old friends, she said that San'er was selling pears in the countryside, and she had stopped fighting for a long time.The business of the four brothers is neither good nor bad, and they just had a fight over money recently. I sat there and ate an ice cream cone that my sister-in-law gave me, feeling a little panicked.It turns out that the so-called righteousness that we are emotionally moved for is so unbearable to the scrutiny of human nature, so unbearable to the hammering of life. This sense of disillusionment made me extremely depressed. No one wants to play an equal game with you The age of my fight is five or six years at the shortest point; the number of friends I know is fifty or sixty at the shortest.According to incomplete statistics, there are more talks about fighting than fighting. When friends in a fight are together, they are mostly memories and longings. In fact, there are very few real fights.Among the stories that can be told, there are more awesome ones than stupid ones, and what everyone talks about is mostly the deeds of outstanding military exploits, such as attacking two ribs, being brave in the face of danger, winning more with less, and sweeping thousands of troops. All stories of victory and brave dignity, where did the other side go?It's like a social survey I've seen According to the investigation, 60% of men have extramarital affairs, but only 6% of women admit that they have cheated.Poor these six percent women have to bear the love and affection of so many men. The truth should be told to those who can admit their mistakes, and the big fight should be fought with people who dare to admit defeat.And how could we admit that we were servile and servile and fled before the battle?Even if it really happened, as long as you don't mention it, you will have forgotten it. Mention Nicolas Cage's "Battlefield Lover" (5) again.Italian soldiers occupied Greece and went to a small island to surrender, but the local residents told them to go away, saying that they refused to surrender to the enemy they had defeated in Albania. The Italian soldiers had no choice but to call in the Germans for help.After they settled down, they didn't get any good looks. The local residents kept talking about the story of eight thousand Greeks fighting 14,000 Italian soldiers. If you help me, we will be driven into the sea by you." How the hell does it look like an occupying army? ! But I like the Italians.It is they, the people who are beaten down by heroes but know how to appreciate heroes, make heroes become heroes.In the frame circle, there are no heroes, because there will never be a bear. This is the main reason why I quit the frame circle later, because if you fight for a long time, people will still be rotten; reputation. Therefore, in the future, I will also practice my mouth, including my pen, to write this "Memory Fragments About Fighting". In the third year of high school, a tragic incident happened. Lao Ji was a famous friend of ours that year, with a strong body, brave and valuable.But in fact, by the time of the third year of high school, there was nothing to fight, because everyone had been naturally promoted to the level of Brahmin.Lao Ji had no place to use his energy and was so bored that he fell in love.He is a very playful person. The first time I saw a contraceptive tool outside a condom was with him, which is trendy. During an exercise between classes, a girl gave him a note. This action fell into the eyes of the head teacher. To ensure that the note would not fall into the hands of the head teacher, Lao Ji swallowed the note tainted with the girl's fragrance. Generous and generous.This move led to his expulsion from the school, and he was transferred from our key middle school to No. 3 Middle School. This twists and turns made Lao Ji very depressed, and he came to his alma mater every now and then to get people to drink.One day in the middle of the night, he and two other people were drinking at the local "White Deer Restaurant", and had an altercation with the neighbor table, and were stabbed several times in the lungs. Lao Ji is still like a normal person, wanting to ride back to his alma mater to sleep.When he arrived at the school, he was stopped by the security teacher. At this time, he was in a trance, and the wound stopped bleeding, but began to foam. Fortunately, he was stopped and sent to the hospital.According to his wishful thinking, if he finds a bed and sleeps, he probably won't wake up again. I was not alarmed that night, but the next day I was shocked by the bad news and rushed to the hospital.Seeing the wounds and bloody clothes that made my spine numb, I knew that we couldn't afford a real fight. Lao Ji is the fourth eldest in the family, and his three older brothers are all simple and poor farmers, so they were caught off guard by this matter.I met Lao Ji's family, and I thought they must not know that Lao Ji was playing so crazy at school.And Lao Ji used such a strong and rough shell to cover a corner of his heart that was so fragile that no one dared to touch it.Too bad we all overdid it. I sadly said some righteous words to Lao Ji. At this time, Lao Ji had already spurted blood when he spoke, but his eyes still shed tears.He just shed. The murderer was the son of the local police chief, and the case was finally settled.After learning from the pain, Lao Ji healed his injury in one month and studied hard in three months. He was admitted to the law department of Liaoning University and planned to use the law to appease justice. Six years later, Lao Ji came to my unit to look for me. At this time, he was already a people's judge.After the meal, he asked for a glass of water to take medicine. I studied it curiously, and it was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases. On the day when Lao Ji's accident happened, a group of old friends were all gearing up, condemning the gangster's atrocities, devising a revenge plan, and reporting to San'er and other social sages to know about it.San'er was also filled with righteous indignation, and gave a generous resignation, and said something nice about how to vent his anger for his brother. Then nothing happened. In fact, the relationship between us and San'er cannot be delved into at all.San'er once borrowed fifteen yuan from me, saying that he was short of money to buy leather shoes.I donated my pocket angrily, generously and generously, and donated one month's living expenses. San'er never mentioned the matter of repaying the money, and it is said that he "borrowed" money from many friends.As for me, on the one hand, my heart hurts secretly, on the other hand, I brag about how good buddies I am with San'er, so that I even believe my own size, and I am proud of it, and I will maintain my friendship with San'er until I graduate from college. Thinking about it now, in San'er's eyes, we are nothing more than a current passbook.For them, loyalty is to take advantage of. Fortunately, this kind of horseman's career ended early. It's not terrible to be cheap, what's terrible is being cheap without knowing it.Let me tell you another embarrassing thing.Not long after I graduated, I was taking a shower in the bathhouse of my unit, and suddenly I heard the editor-in-chief's loud voice calling my name, and then I saw his old man waving to me.I hurried over, and the editor-in-chief threw a towel to me, then twisted his shoulder boldly, motioning for me to rub his back. Rubbing the editor-in-chief's white but not tender flesh, do you know what I feel in my heart? Actually proud, even grateful. Think about it, so many college students came that year, and there were so many fresh bodies in the bathhouse, why could the boss call me alone?It's an honor, an honor. Writing this matter now, my face is still green. Jian is the most widely applicable Chinese character, deeply rooted in the soil of national culture. At the beginning of human beings, nature is cheap; Cheap but cheap, very cheap; The sky is cheap, and a gentleman should keep himself cheap. (6) The west wind sings a sad song in the east When you are with the buddy you know, when you are with the girl you love, you will often find that what you say is actually what he is going to say, and you will also find that what you say to him is actually to yourself Said.So you and him slowly became a pair of boring gourds. What I said to Lao Ji on the hospital bed was actually for myself.So I also came to my senses, I traded Lao Ji's blood in exchange for my change of heart, and finally got admitted to university, avoiding the fate of becoming a mafia boy, so I was honored The ground has been reduced to the unit's horse boy. After college, fighting became less and less fun.Because big departments play small departments, seniors play juniors, undergraduates play postgraduates, and the competition is judged before they make a move, just like the Chinese table tennis team.Everyone thinks it's boring, but some people just like it. At an important juncture in one's life, a person is often completely out of control, such as what kind of university you go to and what major you study.Back then, I mistakenly thought that "broadcasting and television" belonged to that kind of electrical maintenance major, so I learned newspapers, so that another high school classmate whose grades were not as good as mine is now talking nonsense on CCTV all day long. For a man, the fighting strength of the group you are about to join is even more unpredictable.God is sorry, the journalism department I was admitted to was the largest department in the school at the time. There were many people and hooligans. In addition, journalism itself is an unlearned and incompetent major. There are many idlers. Fame, so I didn't suffer much bullying when I was in college, but I bullied others a few times.And those heroes who are born with extraordinary talents but unfortunately born in a small department can only watch a bunch of scumbags pretending to be big-tailed eagles.I feel sorry for them all. It's good to enjoy the shade under the big tree, and there are more crabs in the department who yell "you dare to move the people in the journalism department, beat you" and other crabs rampage in the school, but it's all us clumsy tongues who charge into the battle fool. Another point is that the smarter people are, the better they are at protecting themselves. My university is a key university that is in decline. It's a battle with certainty, and blood and spirit have only become the talking point after being overwhelmed, so it's very uncomfortable to fight. Six years after graduating from undergraduate, I went back to my alma mater to study in graduate school. I would rather sleep in the sewer than live in the school, and would rather eat pig food than eat in the school cafeteria, because I was afraid of being bullied by undergraduates, just like we bullied graduate students back then. The postgraduates in the university belong to the absolute level of Sudra in the fighting field, because most of them are good students with good character and learning, and they turn pale when they talk about fighting; Only when you are thin and thin, you know that years of studying hard in the cold window are more likely to empty a man's body than a young woman. And undergraduates are not a high-level race, even the most capable of fighting can only be regarded as a Vaisya, so only graduate students can make us carry out regular blows. Kshatriyas belong to those children of the school.It may be that the parents of high-ranking intellectuals are too good to consume all the shade on the ancestral graves, so their children are idle and accomplish nothing. This can be seen from their nicknames, such as "pig ears", "board", " Silly ass" or something.They often find excuses to blackmail unfamiliar undergraduates, or cheat familiar undergraduates by stealing cards and changing cards on the hemp table.Classes of students give them inexhaustible financial resources, and their belongings are often very good. They are often spotted by a stout and freckled female student abroad, and then marry overseas, and they are exhausted. Brahmins, on the other hand, are small vendors who do small business in schools.那年头做这营生的都是有过监狱生活经历的人，他们即使已经被政府改造好，其背景也足以让人退避三舍。俺们系当年就是被一个补自行车轮胎的瘸子给制住了，因为他的腿是在新疆监狱被打断的。知识分子在他们面前永远是弱势的羊羔形象，但他们对知识也有着天然的好感，并且那时俺们经常凭借一腔热血博得他们的尊敬，像一个叫“麻师”的同学曾被烟贩屡次免单，而俺在毕业时也曾被一位西瓜摊的老哥在“吉祥饭馆”请喝了一顿酒。 尽管打架越来越不好玩，但除了打架我们又能干什么呢？一把闲力气憋得真是难受，所以打架是隔三岔五就有的事儿，食堂、球场、舞厅、澡堂、饭馆、选修课堂，有人的地方，就有拳头和脚丫在舞动。套用句书评家的话：“大学里只有两种人：正在打架的人，和正在谈论打架的人”。 打架的人最怕牛二那样的光棍破落户，本来已经惨到无法再惨，生活也没什么指望，所以就浑不吝了。再坏又能怎样？ 俺们学校的校际足球比赛叫“校庆杯”，而许多系参加这一赛事的初始目的就是打架，特别是那些知道自己无力夺冠的球队。俺到大四时，有计划的社会主义商品经济方兴未艾，跟经济有关的专业成了热门，新闻系盛景不再，招不来体育特招生，实力一落千丈，足球也全无夺冠可能。所以俺们在小组赛的时候就找茬跟国政系的人干了一架，然后被取消比赛资格，以此台阶全身而退。 这一点跟参加韩日世界杯的中国队很像，反正也没什么好果子吃，干脆就敞开了想，抡圆了吹，往死里踢。 而在大二时，新闻系人才济济，豪华阵容一时无两，旌旗直指冠军宝座，所以当主力后卫被计划系输不起的无赖用一个汽水瓶开了瓢时，俺们压制住心头怒火，把伤员劝住，避免了血腥的复仇和更大的冲突，最终得偿所愿，伤员抱着冠军奖杯，阳光下笑容灿烂，刚剃的秃头熠熠生辉。 但这口气也不能白受。幸亏俺们掌握着舆论武器，校内真正的民办报纸《新闻周报》就在俺们控制之下，于是一篇义正词严的报道迅速出炉，对计划系进行了强烈谴责。教科书上说阶级性是新闻的一大属性，信夫。 计划系也不示弱，制订了一个通过走上层路线来封杀俺们报纸的计划。《新闻周报》主编闻讯，连夜召开编委会商量对策。没想到的是，第二天，由学生会控制的校广播站播出一条内幕新闻，言称新闻系密谋对策云云。最后一句是“本站记者某某某报道”，《新闻周报》主编一听，差点背过气去，原来正是睡在他上铺的兄弟。 急忙回宿舍质问，对方却振振有辞地说：“新闻就是要真实客观，这是咱们课上学的。” 那个脑袋被开瓢却又忍气吞声的主力后卫，如今成了央视歪嘴，叫刘建宏，那次被剃成秃头后，反倒让他的头发长得更厚实，上电视后许多人都羡慕地问他是不是戴了假发套，并问是在哪里买的；那个挑起传媒大战的《新闻周报》主编，如今是新华社记者，为保护北平古建筑鼓与呼；那个坚持新闻真实性公正性的叛徒，如今以消磨生命享受每一天为天职，他的名字叫咣咣，他说，对死亡的恐惧使我生活得肆无忌惮。 多少人的眼泪在无言中抹去 某一年冬天，俺们被上级动员去颐和园搬冰，为清淤工程做贡献。大伙干得还算卖力气，可等回到学校，全都又冷又饿，那点儿公益心顿时变成满腔的怨气。 在食堂，俺刚排到窗口，旁边顿时递过来一堆饭盆让俺捎饭。这种情况肯定会招致别人的不满，平时俺们也就当没听见，反正能尽快吃到饭才是正茬。但那天，[奇`书`网`整.理提.供]饿得正一股邪火，所以听到后面有人发出一声低沉的呻吟后，俺们马上就不干了：“说谁呢说谁呢？”然后挑 衅的眼光开始寻找。 目光最后落在一个瘦小的男人身上，一看就是个研究生。俺们就冲过去，让他发出了更大声的呻吟。那人还冲俺直眉瞪眼地说着什么，被俺搡开了。 然后俺们坐在饭桌旁享受胜利果实。突然，那人又冲了上来，手里挥舞着一根长木条，大概是食堂外建筑工地上的材料，红着眼向俺扑来。俺站起身，那人把木条在俺眼前挥舞着，带动的风吹动了俺的眼睫毛。像俺这样的老架友，知道这会儿绝对不能掉链子，要不那哥们更会人来疯，于是一步步往前逼，那人终于没挺住，被逼退几步后，让哥几个将其按住，一通胖打。 然后，俺们被押到学校保卫科，接受了一番教育。然后陪那哥们一起去校医院接受诊治。路上那哥们说：“其实咱俩还看过电影的，我刚才跟你说，你就是不听，要不我这么急。” 在他提到另一个美丽的名字后，俺终于想起来。当年俺以拙劣手法追求法律系一位师姐，手段是买了两套外国影展的票邀请她共同欣赏艺术。那次影展共有十场，没看到第六场，她就看出遇人不淑，借口功课忙把票转让给别人，就是这哥们。 当时俺对待爱情的态度也很光棍，你若无心我便休，发现邻座变成一个男人后，就毅然放弃了接下来那几场电影。 天可怜见，这个挡箭牌终于落到俺的手上。当医院查出他身上多处软组织挫伤后，俺内心充满了快意。看到了吧，凡是被人当枪使的，都绝对没有好下场。 那根木条在俺眼前刮起的风，如今让俺心有余悸，但当年俺是绝对不会退缩的。所谓心狠手辣，就是换了别人该收手时，你还要继续出手。 这条经验来自俺高中时的一次小架。当时某同学跟俺开了一个非常不该开的玩笑，俺一下子就火了，给了他一记狠的。 等那一下出手后，俺知道下手有些过分，那人的脸色也变得很难看。这时，俺内心飞快地运算了一下，如果露出怯意或向他道歉，那人肯定得理不饶人，干脆，继续打吧！于是俺就做出犹不解恨的样子，欲继续打之。那人也马上收起刚刚酝酿好的委屈表情，飞快地躲开夸张愤怒的俺。 这绝对是经验之谈，望小架友认真领会，并应用到实践中去。 但是，会打架的人，首先应该是会退缩的人，这更是经验之谈。至少，三种人你别惹，一是喝多的人，一是失恋的人，前者不知道疼，后者在努力做秀糟蹋自己个儿，你打他越狠他越有快感，咱可别给人家当枪使，还有一种人，就是身边有孩子的男人，不管那人如何逞能，都忍下那口气，不为别的，一定要在孩子面前，为父亲留下尊严。 如今世风不古，更多了一种千万不能惹的，就是那些毒瘾发作又解决不了的人。 有一天，一个小兄弟打手机向俺求救，说他被人绊住。俺急忙赶到楼下，原来是一个小混混借口俺兄弟撞了他，在讹钱。 这时的俺已经参加工作好几年，早就打不动了，想和平解决。但不管俺是鹰派还是鸽派嘴脸，那孙子是软硬不吃，非认准了要钱。他像一摊泥一样委身于俺，说要不让俺把他打死，要不就叫俺爷爷。俺被纠缠了两个多小时，最后痛苦得都要叫他爷爷了。俺的社会经验太少，直到这时才知道，这小子是吸毒又吸不起的，不给钱是不行了。 “你是在哪儿混的？”“顺子你认识吗？” 俺问了几个问题，那孙子给震住，将价码从五百元降到三十元，俺急忙把这位爷爷用三十块钱送走了，外加一包烟。 那个解困的兄弟无限敬仰地看着俺，他肯定是佩服俺认识这么多“在道上混的人”。 “其实那些人都是俺编的。”俺对他坦白。 一定要记住几个老大的名字，不知道没关系，编几个听起来像真的一样的名字也能对付。千万别让自己显得跟没有组织似的，那些所谓混的人，欺负的就是无根的浮萍、迷途的羊羔。 这是另一条经验，拉出打架的架势，其实是为了不打架。 悄悄是别离的笙箫。 俺的大学该毕业了。临走那天，哥几个说，唱会儿歌吧。就开始唱，然后俺爹派来的车来到了楼下，俺开始与哥几个拥抱作别。这时轮到唱那句“曾经与你有的梦，今后要向谁诉说”，俺和俺抱着的人都绷不住了，相互拿对方的背心当毛巾用。 那天有一个人没来送俺，他是烁哥。他说：“真不敢去送你，我怕自己受不了。”俺以为他只是说说，但没想到他就真的脆弱到没来。 烁哥可不是这么没出息的人。俺们系大学四年打的架，至少有三成跟他有关系，还有三成本来是别人挑起来的，他也急忙跑过去，使之变得跟他有关系，另外三成是他没赶上，就总是耿耿于怀地念叨，剩下那一成，是他不喜欢的同学惹的架，求他助拳他也不会。 烁哥啊，有多少回，你在那么多人的场合做了第一个挺身而出的人；有多少回，你一听说有人打架了就从宿舍往外奔，还不忘卸下根床上的钢管做武器；有多少回，俺们在楼道的长明灯下等你打桥牌，等半天不见人，就急忙出去找你，把你从孤军奋战的战场救下来；有多少回，你喝得大醉瘫在水泥地上，尽管是得胜回营，你却在哭，泪水和吐出来的东西混在一起。 即使俺老得挥不动拳头，烁哥，只要有你的架，俺肯定过去凑把手。只因为发生在你身上的一个故事，一次你的妈妈病了，想吃一碗朝鲜冷面，你就骑自行车从东四十条的家赶到西四的延吉冷面馆，再端着一碗面骑回去，到家，面都坨了，咱娘吃得那个香啊。 烁哥啊，在你恋爱时，俺看你脸上发出那么贱的憨笑，就想也许是因为把残暴都挥发到架场上了吧，你变成了世界上最温柔的男人。好在，烁嫂是个识货的人，她知道一个男人的憨厚同样是一种尊严。 道一声别离忍不住想要轻轻地抱一抱你。 我用一转身离开的你，用我一辈子去忘记。俺就这么告别了俺的年轻时代。 用一转身离开的，是俺一生中最巅峰的一种状态。哥几个意气风发地走在大街上的那种感觉，只能是一辈子的谈资了。毕业，工作，俺开始枯萎，慢慢老去。 结婚后，俺某次陪太太去医院看病。突然楼道里一阵喧哗，大伙纷纷开始躲闪，一个浑身血污的汉子在到处找病房，一看就是刚从架场上挂彩回来。 等他走到俺面前的时候，俺问：“怎么了？” “唉，没什么事儿。”那人轻描淡写地说，伤口很深。 俺一下子就被打动了，想多看一会儿，看那哥们包扎好再走。但是，俺太太颤抖的手拽住了俺。俺知道，俺已经不能想怎么着就怎么着了。 果然，已经好几年过去了，俺再也没打过架。俺这个当年追求民主平等的受过高等教育的人，也开始觉得自己的命很值钱，跟别人共同打拼同归于尽，不值。 镜头再转到“鹅与鸭”酒吧。 美女说，为什么一定要打架呢？暴力真的是不可避免的吗？ 俺想了想说，让我来复述一个故事吧。美国电视剧《甜心俏佳人》（7）中有一集名叫《Cro-Magnon》（8），一个男生的恋人是另一个男生的前任女友，在一次派对上，后者向前者轻佻地说着那个女孩的坏话，被那个男孩打得乱七八糟的。约翰律师为这个打架的男生辩护，他先请了一个人类行为学专家到庭，然后却盯着那个专家发了一会儿呆，什么问题也没有问。到最后，一向神神道道的他发表了一通“历来最好的”结案陈词—— 他又能怎么做呢？当另一个男子用语言羞辱他的爱侣。他应该转身离开吗？我曾传唤人类行为学家上庭，但当我见到他时，我想到，陪审团需要专家来教导他们吗？来教育他们人的本性吗？女士们先生们，在派对上发生的事情关乎人的本性。男人，任何男人都好战，虽然已经进化得穿上了衣服，用上了手提电话，但原始本性依然存在。 十三岁时，我到电影院排队买票，有一个比我大的男孩加塞。他说，你能把我怎么样？我不敢有反应。这件事情让我深受困扰。后来我上了高中，当了学生代表，读了法律专业，成绩骄人，但这件事情的阴影在我心中却永难磨灭。 三年前，我在一家酒吧，有人撞了我的肩膀后直闯厕所。是他的不对，但他膀大腰圆。他对我说：“笨蛋。”我说：“什么？”“笨蛋，”他重复了一遍，还问我，“怎么着？有什么问题吗？”我说：“是，有问题。”他说：“你要找麻烦吗？”就开始推我。此刻，他变成电影院那个男孩了。我知道要打架了，这是我第一次要跟人打架。他提起右手时，我记得父亲曾说过后腿要站稳，就拉开后腿摆出架势。那男人走近，但没等他出手，我已挥出拳头，正中其鄂骨，他倒在地上，一时站不起来了。 我当律师很成功，做善事也不甘人后，我做一些公益事业，为我带来很大满足感，但身为男子汉——这一拳却是我毕生最有满足感的一刻。 这算高尚吗？surely not.我感到惭愧吗？绝对是。这是不争的事实吗？是，是男人的本性。 我在此并非要鼓吹暴力，但当男人佳人有约，而女友被人侮辱时，他可以怎么做呢？你们退席后得承认这个事实：庆幸他挥出了这一拳。 沉默了一会儿，美女又说，一个男孩子，要是遇到自己明知道打不过的人，他是该屈服呢，还是放手一搏？前者太伤尊严了，后者又太危险了。 这是一个没有答案的问题，就像人们在争论那个被强奸犯逼得跳楼的女孩，有人居然说她不应该跳，哪怕暂时就范，也不该让自己付出瘫痪的代价。说得真轻巧。 但人的血性毕竟不是因果分明的逻辑推理，不是天平两端的精密平衡，不是安慰自己的动听道理。如果所有的人都那么精明地知道值不值，就真的是一个强奸犯横行的世道了。所以，俺说—— 最好是不打，可真要想打，那打就打吧。 只要你还年轻，只要你还有血性，就不要老是避让，老是忍耐，让强权凌驾，让谋杀得逞。 Note （1）本文回目均引自罗大佑一歌的歌词。 （2）其实《中南海保镖》之前还有一部时装片《无敌小子》，又名《中华英雄》，但许多影迷都不给算。 （3）马尔克斯即获得诺贝尔文学奖的那个加西亚·马尔克斯，《番石榴飘香》是他与哥伦比亚作家兼记者门多萨的谈话录。 （4）摘自罗大佑歌曲《现象七十二变》。 （5）《Captain Corellis Mandolin》，直译为《科雷利上尉的曼陀林》。 （6）这三句话是我在西祠胡同的签名档，一直没有更换，“贱”这个词也一度成为朋友们的口头禅。 （7）《Ally McBeal》，又译《艾莉的异想世界》，美国热门法庭电视剧，主演Calista Flockhart为哈里森·福特的现任妻子。 （8）“Cro-Magnon”是个专用名词，指旧石器时代的一个人种，在这里大概是指人类的原始本性吧？