Chapter 10 Section 10 My Little History of Self-study: Self-study in middle school

The first series of my autobiography Section 10 My Little History of Self-study: Self-study in middle school 8. Self-study in middle school The above seems to have described my self-study in middle school, such as self-study in English, mathematics, etc., but my so-called self-study is not here.I once said: Because of my self-motivation, I often have the responsibility to teach myself, and I seldom ask others to supervise me no matter what. ... If you really want to learn by yourself, you must start from here.Self-study is the upward self-improvement of a person's whole life, the key is to have self-consciousness in life. So what was mentioned in the previous section was just some situations in middle school that year when I was dealing with schoolwork, and I did not really talk about my self-study. The true self-study is due to the upward drive that drives me to pursue two issues: first, life issues;These two issues are related to each other and cannot be completely separated, but it is still convenient to speak separately.From the pursuit of life problems, I have been involved in Western philosophy, Indian religion, and Chinese schools of Zhou, Qin, Song, and Ming, and I have been regarded as a philosopher.The pursuit of social issues led me to participate in the Chinese revolution, and I have been involved in social movements ever since.In this fiftieth year, in general, the energy of the past has been spent on these two issues; the future should not be limited to these two issues.And when it comes to how I pursue these two issues, I have already started in middle school.Some facts of the year are outlined below. I have my life thoughts very early.Around the age of fourteen, I had in mind a standard of value by which I judged everyone and everything at all times.This is to see whether it is beneficial to people and the size of its benefits.If it is not beneficial to the group or to oneself, it is a bad thing.Turning around, if there are great benefits for both the group and oneself, it is the best thing in the world.There seems to be no way to measure everything and explain everything in this way.If there is an occasional hindrance in thinking, you will have to go back and forth to find someone who justifies your theory.Once you suddenly get something again, you can't help dancing and looking forward to yourself.At this time in the West, "leisureism", "maximum happiness", "pragmatism", "instrumentalism" and so on are still unknown.But unexpectedly, it is similar to Western utilitarian ideas.

This idea was obviously inspired by my father.Although my late father read Confucianism and followed Confucius and Mencius, in fact his thoughts and conduct were very similar to those of Mohists.He believes that China's weakness is caused by scholars who specialize in fiction and are too far away from the facts. Therefore, he usually looks down on people who write poetry and fuss, and marking the word "pragmatic" is a consistent way to discuss any issue. claim.The "practical" meaning of pragmatism naturally inevitably takes "practical" and "utility" as its main meanings.And the result of focusing on practicality, of course, flows back into Mohist thought.No matter the big or small things, this kind of meaning is revealed everywhere in his words and actions.It goes without saying that it greatly affected me. But my father only has his thoughts and opinions, he is not interested in philosophy.I, on the other hand, have liked to use deep thinking since I was young.So let's go on from here, what exactly is "good"?That is to find out what "benefit" and "harm" refer to, and it is necessary to analyze it and determine it.So it leads to the issue of suffering and happiness, and investigates what is suffering and what is happiness.The study of suffering and happiness is the key to my exploration into Chinese Confucianism and Indian Buddhism, which is quite important.In the later "Juyuan Causation Theory", there is a section on suffering and happiness that can be seen.But this passage is completely an old draft written in middle school when I was sixteen or seventeen.In middle school, I was always immersed in my thoughts, and I always recorded my thoughts.There were many such backlogs at that time, but none exist now. However, at the time, I was stimulated by the China issue, and my enthusiasm for the China issue seemed to be far greater than my interest in talking about life issues.This is also because in terms of life thinking at that time, merit was the most important thing. At that time—the last years of Guangxu and the early years of Xuantong—there were also national crises at that time.At that time, the student circles were also inspired by the upsurge of saving the country and invited themselves to train student soldiers, such as what students from all over the world did after the "September 18th".I remember that my classmate Lei Guoneng and I both took the Enthusiasm Movement as a representative, and asked the school supervisor to hire special military instructors for us, and gave us guns, and practiced military exercises outside of the regular class. This is one example; others like this Of course there are many things.

In order to save the country, it is natural to pay attention to politics and demand political reform.Concepts such as democracy and the rule of law, as well as the British-style parliamentary system and party politics, became my political ideals as early as 35 years ago.Later, I wrote "The First Impassable Road in Our Politics--The Road to Modern European Democratic Politics", in which the interpretation of modern politics is not as good as that in middle school. —Indeed, at that time I thought I had a lot of experience in politics.