Chapter 12 Chapter 4 Wind and Rain in All Directions

The so-called "wind and rain in all directions" does not mean that I have conquered east and west with majesty, nor did I go to Hong Kong and Shanghai in private, or fly to Myanmar to get some rare treasures, and then sneaked into the rear to sell them for a price.No, I have never done any of these things.Before the Anti-Japanese War, I was an ordinary person, and after the Anti-Japanese War, I was still an ordinary person.It can be seen that I did not take advantage of the time when I was able to fish in troubled waters to make a fortune or become an official; no, not only did I not catch fish, I never caught a single shrimp.I only have one pen.This pen is my capital and my weapon against the enemy.I would not, nor should I, give it up and find another way.So, I ran from Qingdao to Jinan, from Jinan to Wuhan, and then to Chongqing.From Chongqing, I wandered in Luoyang, Xi'an, Lanzhou, Qinghai, and Suiyuan, and went sightseeing in eastern Sichuan, western Sichuan, and Dali in Kunming.Everywhere, I always hold my pen.The wind blew my broken hat down on the desert, and the rain wet my skinny bedroll; what was worse than the wind and rain was how many times the enemy's bombs fell near me, half-burying me with sand.This is exile, bitterness, poverty, excitement, and resistance to the enemy, which is "wind and rain in all directions."

Exile begins in the first quarter Until mid-November 26, I had not left Jinan.First, I don't know where to go: let's go back to my hometown, Beiping, the road is impassable; moreover, Beiping has fallen into the hands of the enemy, and I have written to all my friends to escape, how can I throw myself into a trap?Go to Shanghai, but my friends in Shanghai told me not to go, so I had no choice but to "stand still".Second, from Taian to Xuzhou, the trains are often bombed by enemy planes, and my youngest daughter is only under three months old, and my oldest child is only four years old, so it is really inconvenient to take risks.Third, let me run away alone, I can't bear to leave my family in Jinan; let the whole family go, it is both troublesome and dangerous.These are the bleakest days.The students of Qilu University have all left, and more than half of the teachers have left.In such a big yard, there are only a few of our family left.Every day, as long as it is sunny, there must be an alarm: it starts at eight o'clock in the morning and is not released until four or five o'clock in the afternoon.The courtyard was terribly quiet: the vegetable and fruit sellers had stopped coming, and groups of cats and dogs who had lost their owners came to beg for food.

I was in a hurry, but there was nothing I could do.The news of the war is getting worse and worse. I am afraid that the city will suddenly be surrounded by the enemy, and I will be taken prisoner.Death is a minor matter, what if I was captured by him and forced to be a traitor?This fear lingers in my heart day and night.Yes, I am in Jinan, I have no property, no money; if the enemy comes in, I may not be able to bear much loss.However, the most precious thing for a scholar is his integrity.I can't wait for the enemy to come in and rob me of my little treasure.I must leave immediately. Several times I packed a small suitcase, and several times I opened it again.Looking at the idiots and weak girls, I really can't bear to run away alone.When I arrived in Wuhan, I still couldn't forget this situation, and I wrote a poem:

The weak girl and idiot couldn't understand her sorrow, she pulled her clothes and asked her father where he was going? Don't cry because of the injury, if the blood stops flowing, it will be ashes. I have seen the water and fire in the village, and it is even more worthy of the wind and thunder in the river and sea; Wandering around, I couldn't bear to cherish it, and Mu Yan's voice was low and earnestly reminding me. However, I finally picked up the small box and walked out of the house.It was the evening of November fifteenth.When it was time to eat dinner, there was a red flash in the sky, followed by an explosion that shook the world.Three red flashes and three explosions.This was—no one knew it at the time—our army destroying the iron bridge over the Yellow River.The iron bridge is more than ten miles away from my residence, but the trees in my yard were shaken so that the leaves fell like rain.

Immediately, all shops in the city closed their doors, and pedestrians were almost cut off on the street.Everyone thought that the enemy had arrived outside the city.I stroked the children's heads twice, picked up the small box and walked out quickly.I can't hesitate any longer, and I can't help but be cruel: if I hesitate for a while, I will put down the box and can't take a step. At the same time, I also know that I may not be able to leave, so my last sentence of parting is: "Go to the station to see if there is a car, and come back immediately if there is no car!" I was killed by the bomb, and I was not willing to sit and wait for the enemy to catch me.At the same time, I also hope that the car will not pass, so that I can turn back and share the troubles with my family.These two different hopes fought in my heart, and I forgot the pain.I can't claim anything anymore, it's up to the train to decide for me whether to go or not.

On the way, I found a friend and asked him to accompany me to the station. If I could go, I would ask him to take care of the house. Tickets are still sold at the station.The road is very quiet, but the station is crowded with people.Squeezed to the box office, I bought a ticket to Xuzhou.At eight o'clock, the car entered the station, and even the roof was full of people.I have a ticket, but I can't get on the bus. I am not good at fighting and squeezing in my life.Whether it's fame, fortune, goods at reduced prices, or parking spaces, boat spaces, or movie tickets, I will never push others away and extend my hand.Looking at the car and looking at the ticket in my hand, I said to my friend: "Forget it, let's talk about it tomorrow!"

The friend suggested to wait a little longer.Waiting and waiting, it was already almost eleven o'clock, the car was still not open, and I couldn't get in.I'm going home again.My friend made up my mind on my behalf: "If you can leave, you'd better leave!" He went to knock on the window of the last car.The window opened, and a tea waiter asked, "What are you doing?" My friend handed over two yuan, and said only one sentence: "One person, one small box." The tea waiter nodded, took the box first, and then pulled me away. shoulder.My friend helped me, and I got into the car. Before I could even get on my feet, the people in the car — all soldiers — kept shouting, “Get out! Get out! There’s no room.” Feet, I said: I have already bought a ticket.Everyone looked at me and said nothing.I told my friend outside the window: "Please go back! Please tell me at home tomorrow morning, I'm already in the car!" My friend beckoned to me.

There was no place to sit, so I erected the small box next to a bicycle, and then used my feet, body, politeness, and the feeling of my whole body to expand my territory.Finally, I crouched next to the little box.After staying for a while, I squatted down and sat on the ground, with my chin just resting on the bicycle seat cushion - that triangular, leather thing.I can only sit like this, and I cannot change my posture, because things and people are crowded in all directions, and they just embed me there. There were a lot of ammunition in the car, and I thought to myself: "When there is an alarm, it will be lively! As long as a bullet hits, the car will explode; I, the box, and the bicycle will all fly into the sky."

At the same time, I guess, the three children have probably fallen asleep, and the wife is still awake alone, waiting for me to go back!This guess is not quite correct.Later, when I got a letter from home, I realized that the two older children refused to go to bed. They knew that their father was gone, and after a while they asked their mother: "Where did my father go?" We drove at one o'clock at night and arrived in Tai'an at dawn.I am still sitting in the original posture, unable to see outside.I asked: "Comrade, is it cloudy or sunny outside?" The answer was: "Cloudy." Thank God!Early winter in the north is not cloudy and rainy, what a coincidence for me!We drove again from Tai'an, and it began to drizzle.

Arrived in Xuzhou at 7:00 pm.I haven't eaten anything for a day and a night, and I seem to be willing to take a bite or two when I see a stone.At first glance, I saw a dry biscuit seller, and I just took a bite.I almost choked to death.While hiccupping, I went to buy a ticket for Zhengzhou.I got on the green steel car, which was leisurely and beautiful, and it was parked there like a "flower in the field". When I arrived in Zhengzhou, I telegraphed my friends at home and in Hankou, and then I rested overnight. When we arrived in Hankou, my friend Bai Jun had just received my telegram.He took me to his home.This is November 18, twenty-six.From this day on, I began to live in exile.